"
These are moments of exaltation and ecstasy. A glimpse of this wonder can be the reward of a lifetime.
"
-Chien-Shiung Wu
Wrong
Harper stared at bright red against pristine white. A crease that wasn't there when she turned in marred the otherwise perfect page. She was so close, so incredibly close yet so far apart. She could almost feel her blood rushing to her ears creating white noise until she couldn't really hear anything. And she could almost feel like a sandbag had settled on her chest and refused to move. She could almost feel the tears that were sure to come later. The girl beside her quickly averted her eyes from Harper's test. The first page was fine but the second and the third she swore were covered in red exes. The same shade as the poor grade, a 69.5/100.
Harper and her math teacher hated each other. This much was now more or less a common fact to anyone in their class and anyone who has had the displeasure of hearing her rant about him during lunch or Biology or honors English or- Really the list could go on and on. She had a list of expletives she would willingly call the middle-aged egotistical white man.
Instead of crying or going into a panic, Harper got angry. The paper began to tear as she gripped it tightly in her hand. She had stayed after class and turned the page to the free-response questions that had been marked down. Just describing math terms, answering word problems using full sentences. Easy stuff for Harper, it had always been so easy.
"What did I do wrong, Mr. Andrews?" Harper asked quietly, bowing her head. She had stayed after class to ask him as her confusion and anger grew. She had read through her answers once, twice, thrice and they seemed fine. Even when she was taking it they seemed fine.
"Hmm, let's see," Andrews began as he fiddled with his glasses before roughly grabbing the pages. He snorted once he got to where the open answers were. Harper tried not to be phased but her hands balled into fists. "You misspelled 'derivative', you stated this wrong, it's 'as the limit approaches zero', not 'as the limit gets closer to equaling zero', you mixed up antiderivative and integral-"
"They're the same thing," Harper cut in sharply, her face growing red. Andrews glowered up at her and rose an eyebrow.
"Yes but the question specifically referred to the antiderivative," he insisted. "Or is that too difficult of a concept for you to understand?"
Harper wondered if she was being a victim of racism or sexism. Deep breath in, deep breath out. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don'tcrydon'tcrydon'tcry-
"What can I do to raise my grade, sir?"
Mr. Andrews looked cocky. He looked both impressed that he got her to crack that easily and the fact that she referred to him as sir. "I don't offer extra credit in my class, Miss Young," he stated placing the test back on the table and sliding it over to her.
Harper suddenly understood why people commit murder.
"You will have a chance to redo the test at the end of the year." Harper thanked the gods for his sake. She stiffly nodded at the man and with that left his classroom in a rush. She barely noticed Embry Call sitting across the math wing, his fists clenched so tightly he thought he was going to pop a blood vessel.
Embry Call knows. He knows that he's being kind of weird and very awkward. He knows he's stuck overthinking every little thing much as he had prior to the whole wolf business. He knows that he's just waiting for her to make her choice. For her to sit next to him much as she had during that project, much like she had before he concluded that Eli Novak was her boyfriend. Much before he had become a big jealous green-eyed monster.
God, he was such a dick.
He also knows he's worried. Too terribly worried. That he's busy watching not only over his shoulder but hers too. That he's waiting for the next vampire to target Bella Swan. That he's bidding his time until Harper unknowingly throws herself into danger. Because he knows and he's so terrified of it.
He knows that one day Mina Murray is going to come back and stake her claim in her daughter. He knows that she already had her hooks sunk so deep into Sage it hurt. It hurt him, the sight of her with red eyes made him sick. It hurt his pack. They couldn't even look at her parents in the eyes. And it hurt Harper. A lot. They had stayed in La Push and he couldn't even imagine what he had done if his hypothetical daughter went missing, if he had to bury an empty casket. He could barely look at Harper with the shame that flooded his system when he realized how badly he had hurt her by leaving her in the dark.
That one day on the beach he kept going back to, picking through. Where Harper fell down through the rabbit hole, down the well. When he told her of what Sage was like in grade school and how he had forgotten her voice. Harper had as well, it's always the first thing to go, isn't it? He wasn't sure if she would ever forgive him for not telling her. He wasn't sure if her learning on her own would be better.
He wasn't sure if ignorance was truly bliss.
The ringing of a bell brought him out of every thought he had been thinking about Harper since he had imprinted.
When a mercury thermometer breaks, spills its contents everywhere as the glass shatters, silver pools scatter about as well. The mercury having finally been freed runs away only to all pool together in the end at the hands of somebody who's just looking out for their own safety.
On a particularly dreadful May day, Harper began to sympathize with the mercury in a broken thermometer as she sat in between Paul and Jared on the small four-person table with little Seth across from her smiling brightly. She was somewhat reminded of her first day back in La Push and felt like the mercury was forced to be pushed back together.
She still wasn't sure what the fuck had happened with that, with his knobby knees and skinny limbs. There was no-
Harper didn't want to think anymore. She didn't want to be there. She would rather be anywhere but there. That much was obvious to everyone there. Specifically Embry whose eyes never left the side of her head until she looked up at him. They were gathered, waiting around which was unusual for all of them. She had no idea why she was involved and why she couldn't just go up to her room.
Maybe this was Emily's way of saying that she needed friends. Harper wondered if she should start partying with the Forks kids again. The thought left her quickly as she remembered her last image of Sage, covered in a shifting rainbow glow. Happy and smiling.
Absolutely not.
"She's here!" Quil excitedly called from beside Embry. The two of them dragging each other outside while Jared and Paul followed.
Harper didn't even want to imagine who could get the rowdy bunch so excited. She had heard Jacob complaining about a redhead for days now and she could imagine they were the type of crowd that would love to mercilessly tease their friends. She means according to Embry they were. She closed her eyes lightly as the thought wedged its way inside of her brain. Sage was like that.
The young teen abruptly stood from her spot at the table and walked to see what all the commotion was about. As soon as she caught sight of the pale skin and the slightly sunken eyes she knew that all the commotion was about Bella Swan. Harper leaned against the railing as she looked over at the group that was rapidly grilling Jacob on his oh so obvious crush on the girl.
"Quil, you too?" Bella asked with a small grin and raised eyebrows. Harper wanted to scoff like it was such an achievement to join their little gang.
Quil shrugged sheepishly and shot her a smile. "Yep, finally made the pack," he stated somewhat cockily.
Harper furrowed her brows and narrowed her eyes analytically. Pack. She had heard people call Sam Uley's gang everything under the sun: hall monitors on Steroids, shooters, bootlickers, the La Push Cult, but she had never heard them called a pack before. She didn't like the way it sounded so positive. Like they were some sort of on the reservation fraternity ft. Leah. Like they were some sort of brotherhood.
Jacob rolled his dark eyes and caught sight of Harper standing there and just watching. None of the others seemed to notice and he honestly had no idea how to alert the others about his presence and he had never been more grateful that Embry liked to get payback every now and again for them making fun of his thing with Harper.
"I'm glad you're here Bella. Maybe we can get a break from Jake's obsessive inner monologue," Embry teased and the group broke into laughter while Jacob sheepishly chuckled. Harper raised an eyebrow and the corners of her lips pulled up in some sort of smile. If Jacob hadn't seen it he wasn't sure he would believe it had happened.
"I wish Bella would call," Paul mocked.
"I wish Bella wouldn't call," Jared added.
"Maybe I should call Bella."
Quil giggled at Embry's remark before shooting back, "Maybe I should call Bella and hang up."
Jacob rolled his eyes again, this time catching Harper's. The girl just raised a challenging eyebrow in response before smiling down at Leah. 'Oh thank God,' Jacob thought, 'something to change the topic of this fucking conversation.'
"All right, you can shut up now. Embry, I don't even want to hear about 'obsessive inner monologue's coming from you." The boy in question playfully glared at Jake before smiling, "Bella, this is Leah Clearwater. Harry's daughter." Jacob gestured to the girl who was still looking up at Harper, waving hi.
Embry contemplated death way too much for someone his age. It wasn't like he wanted to die. It was just something on his mind given the full of life stone-cold corpses he was chasing 24/7. But as he saw Harper with that cool smirk fixed up her face at their either disgruntled or astounded expressions made him want to spontaneously combust. Did-did she know that Jacob essentially called him out on thinking about her almost all the time?
No.
No, she couldn't, he had decided. Harper was too awkward for that, she'd probably walk away as soon as she could if she did know.
Leah, while Embry was having his sixteenth existential Harper related crisis of the week (It was a Monday), looked Bella up and down before scoffing. She was clearly unimpressed.
Bella, who Harper thought seemed to be like a self-centered people pleaser (her least favorite contradictive type of person), tried to remedy Leah's already shit impression of her. "Hey. I'm really sorry about your father," she apologized.
Harper winced and shook her head, Bella's eyes meeting hers. She mouthed the words, 'Too soon.' Bella, if possible, seemed to pale at that.
"If you're here to torture Jacob some more, feel free to leave," Leah snapped back before strutting up the steps and into the house. Harper hid her smirk behind her hand and shook her head at Bella again. So that's the side of the family she got it from.
While Harper was inwardly praising Leah the others thought differently.
"Fun, isn't she," Jacob stated reproachfully with his nose crinkled up.
"Hey Jacob," she called. Embry, Paul, Jared, and Quil turned their head to look at the girl while Jacob knew he was screwed. She didn't speak to him. She didn't speak to anyone except for Embry and that seemed to be a one-time thing. Maybe.
"Yeah, Harper?" He questioned with a raised eyebrow, looking from Bella to the rest of the pack to Harper.
The girl smiled. Bella thought it almost seemed polite and nice until she opened her mouth. "Shut up, I have had to listen to you moan and groan and complain and bitch for days and that's just when you're here. If anyone deserves the title of 'fun, aren't they,' it's you."
Embry smiled at her in a dazed sort of fashion. Angry Harper, he had decided, was ridiculously pretty when the look wasn't aimed at him. It was something that Jared and Paul had learned quickly after Leah had joined the pack. Don't say anything about her shitty yet understandable attitude around Harper.
The girl in question spun on her heel and confidently strode up the rickety steps. Embry sighed as his eyes followed after her. Those who hadn't imprinted yet rolled their eyes. "Hey, what do you think-"
"Embry," Quil began, "I swear to God if you say anything about Harper I will sterilize you."
Embry winced and crossed his arms low over his stomach. "But-"
"No," the group, sans Bella, chorused.
Pack. Pack... Pack? Pack. No. No? ...No. Harper felt like she was making connections where connections didn't belong after the offhanded wordplay that Quil used. But she couldn't help it. No, she couldn't help it at all. When she had first started gallivanting through the forest she had found three separate wolf prints. Embry had disappeared, and she came across the wolf. Four different sets of prints. Jake, five. Quil, Leah, and Seth. Six, seven, and eight.
No. She shook her head. Absolutely not. It was ridiculous. Correlation doesn't apply causation. It just means that she was wrong. Maybe there were multiple wolves in the different stages of growth. Some growing faster than others, that's why there was so much variation. That had to be it. Or she was wrong about the amount in the beginning.
She didn't like being wrong.
Harper leaned against the kitchen counter. Her lip was almost bitten raw with how harshly she was pulling on it. Picking a couple of pieces of skin off her chapped lips. Emily's incessant humming slowly became white noise. The boys came in and out and each time Harper would look at them before quickly averting her eyes.
They cut their hair. Sage had talked about it once, how Jared loved his chin-length hair, and Paul's had always been short but it was all but buzzed once he had arrived at school. People said that Sam's hair was to his shoulders. Embry and Jacob had sadly cut their hair as well. Quil just had to take an inch or two. Why? What was the point? Was it to have them conform? To make just like Sam? No, that made absolutely no sense. They were practically a cult but-
Sam had ordered them around all the time, and they just listened, just did whatever he said. Why? She had caught Jacob complaining all the time in passing, about how much he wanted to do something but Sam said no. What did they call it, a gag order?
It was like she was putting together a puzzle with no picture and a chunk of the pieces missing, just blindly trying to fit things where they could belong but never where they actually did.
"What's wrong?" Emily asked for the fifth time in five minutes. Harper pulled herself out of her thoughts again. She hadn't noticed the stinging metallic penny-like taste of her own blood hitting her tongue. It had dribbled down her lip and onto her chin. Harper wiped it away, leaving a copper-red smear.
Harper shook her head. Unable to collect her thought in a way that made sense. "I think I've made a connection," Harper vaguely said before pushing herself off the edge of the counter. She practically tiptoed out of the kitchen, not sparing Emily a glance as she wondered if it wasn't a bear that did that but a wolf. A wolf, like those that Bella Swan, had claimed to see. The wolves that Harry Clearwater was trying to shoot when he had his heart attack. Her wolves. Her pack. The pack she had found and had tried to track, to find a den. Hers.
She walked upstairs without another word, a drop or two of blood occasionally dripping down from the lip she had gnawed open. "Fuck," Harper mumbled out when she finally closed the door, leaning on it, trying to catch her breath. Without another word, she tiptoed to her laptop and pulled up the most recent article about the missing kids in Seattle and the surrounding area. She pulled a notebook out from between her mattress and flipped to the nearest open page somewhere in the middle and started writing notes.
She wondered if Sage was still alive as she researched until the early hours of the morning when the plate Emily had sat on her desk had gone cold and she picked at the tacos.
See, there's something funny about researching something extensively and picking through your own mind. She searched for missing kids in the area. Curiosity and desperation brought her to Alaska where she found some digitized and archived article of a pregnant teenager who had disappeared off the face of the planet in 1990. It was the picture they displayed of her, the day she went missing, and her name that caught Harper's attention.
Aminah Murray.
May 13, 1990.
She was Mina. Mina was her. They had the same face, the same hair, the same stature, and the same smile. Their noses crinkled the same way when they smiled. It was like the girl had stepped right out of her computer screen.
She was pregnant, had gone missing after she had given birth, the child was sent to live with her grandparents. Harper would have thought she was insane for thinking what she thought if she hadn't known that she was born in the hospital Aminah Murray went missing in. And if the day she went missing wasn't Harper's birthday. But she had known and it was.
If Harper didn't know better she would think that Aminah Murray was frozen in time. And as she sat there staring in disbelief at the picture of the girl she began to wonder if the woman wasn't some figment of her imagination. If she was delusional. If she had just been a hallucination of Harper's mind.
Except the girl was beginning to think that she didn't know better and Aminah Murray seemed to be, for all intents and purposes, immortal.
She thought she learned nothing to help Sage. In fact, she was certain of it. And yet, she couldn't help but think that she was nothing but wrong and had been nothing but wrong all goddamn day.
***
I have made the executive decision that Jacob was a simp with a nice guy complex and nothing can change my fucking mind.
ALSO is this Harper during her ~* contemplative moment*~ or what