Hi mates! I am updating sooner than you thought I would, yesss! Thank you for all your lovely votes, and thank you, Spellbind7 for your amazing comments on the previous chapter, I loved reading them! :DDD Comments are the only way I can see what my readers think about my story, so go ahead and comment your thoughts! Finally, enjoy this chapter!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
November passed through the students in a flash and before they knew it, December was starting, which meant Christmas holidays were around the corner. Truthfully, many students were thankful that the holidays were so near and the reason behind this behaviour of theirs was simple - Professor Dolores Umbridge.
It felt like her power in Hogwarts grew day by day. Alongside her horrible classes and dull curriculum, she could declare as many Decrees, punish as many students and annoy as many teachers as she wanted to and nobody could stop her. Besides having the Ministry to back her up, Dumbledore not being in the picture more often caused her to gain an unfair advantage, which led her to think that she had the power of a headmistress.
This new belief of hers made her fire Professor Trelawney, or at least she tried to because Dumbledore flew to the rescue of the teacher in the nick of time. Even though Umbridge now had the right to fire any teacher, she didn't have the right to tell someone to leave Hogwarts - a power that resided only with the real headmaster. And to her dismay, Dumbledore allowed Trelawney to stay in Hogwarts and appointed Firenze, the centaur, as the Divination teacher.
Although the students didn't want to admit it, Firenze was not a good teacher. He kept giving them words of wisdom and interpretation of the stars and cosmos above which were too complicated for his students to understand. They silently agreed that Trelawney was much more bearable than the centaur.
As for Ron and Lavender, their first date had gone extremely well and they had called it official in no time at all. It was the first good thing that happened in the current circumstances, with the second one happening immediately after it. Sirius had invited all three of them to Grimmauld Place for the Christmas holidays. It would be Harry's first time spending Christmas outside Hogwarts and with his godfather. And he was so excited that not even Umbridge could make him feel otherwise. He felt like that these holidays would serve as a much-needed break from all his troubles.
However, Ron and Hermione had other plans.
"Sirius invited you two," Harry told them, "Come on, it'd be fun!"
It was close to mid-December, just after a Hogsmeade trip, and the trio was lounging in the common room.
"Can't do," Ron replied, "Bill and Charlie are coming home for this Christmas so it'd be like a big ole family reunion. My mum would go ballistic if I missed it."
"What about you, Hermione?" Harry asked. She shook her head in reply, "I'm sorry, Harry. I would love to spend Christmas with you and Sirius but my parents won't allow me."
"Rubbish," Ron put in, "They allowed you to go literally...everywhere before. What changed?"
"I don't know," Hermione sighed, "I think they had enough of me going to bizarre places. And they want me to spend Christmas with them."
"Then I don't blame them," Harry said, "You're their only daughter. They must miss you."
"Oh, a lot. Just as much as I miss them."
"That's sweet," Ron said, "You should teach Percy about the importance of family."
Harry frowned, "He's still going cold?"
"Yep. He's no better than Umbridge," Ron scoffed, "Lovers of the Ministry."
"I swear if she issues another Decree about Quidditch, I'm going to hex her," Harry said, through gritted teeth.
"That wouldn't be wise," Hermione sighed, "Because you don't want to land in another detention with her."
"True. I would rather spend time with Dementors than get another detention with Umbridge," Harry declared, making Ron laugh.
Hermione opened her mouth to tell him that Dementors would be, in fact, much worse when a formal voice called out from behind them.
"Mr. Potter."
It was Professor McGonagall, looking at the trio with a steely gaze. Harry stood up and said politely, "Yes, professor?"
"Professor Dumbledore would like to see you," she told him, "So if you would please follow me."
She turned around and left the common room, leaving Harry to follow her. He gave his friends a puzzled look.
"I think he wants to hear about the dream," Hermione excitedly said.
"Or maybe you're in trouble?" Ron said, humorously. Harry rolled his eyes and exited the common room to follow McGonagall. As soon as he was gone, Hermione glared at Ron, "Maybe he got into trouble? Seriously?"
"Well it could happen," he answered, leaning back into the armchair, "Or maybe Umbridge's waiting for him because he disregarded some rules?"
"I hope that doesn't happen," Hermione sighed and leaned back herself.
For a moment, there was silence as both of them got lost in their thoughts. Besides them, the common room was almost empty, except for a few first years playing Wizard Chess in a corner.
Hermione was the first to speak up.
"Ron, do you think we'll be facing Voldemort in the future?"
His eyes widened at the mention of Voldemort's name but he answered in a collected manner, "Very likely. Since he's active once again and is keeping the Order very busy."
"Yeah, you're right. That's why I'm worried," Hermione told him, biting her lip, "How are we going to defend ourselves if we have to face him? We haven't learned anything useful at all this year and the spells I'm trying to learn are very complicated."
"I bet Harry knows a lot more spells than we do," Ron commented, "He's been in serious situations more than us. And he is also the favorite of the majority of the staff here, who might be teaching him a spell or two here and there."
"He is well known, but I don't think the teachers give him private lessons," Hermione said, raising an eyebrow at Ron.
"Then how does he know more spells than us?" Ron asked, leaning forward to look at Hermione in a demanding way.
Hermione was surprised by his sudden anger. She sensed jealousy but she honestly couldn't understand why Ron would get jealous of Harry so suddenly when he seemed fine just minutes before.
So instead of answering him, she asked with concern, "Are you okay, Ron?"
Her question made him sigh, and lean back in his armchair.
"It's just that..." he said, looking at the ceiling instead of her, "I'm sick of being Harry's sidekick all the time."
"Ron..." Hermione's eyes widened in shock, "You're not his sidekick! You're his best friend!"
"It doesn't feel that way, though," Ron said, his eyes finally on her, "In every situation that we've ever come across, I always feel like that I'm his sidekick while he's the main hero. He gets all the glory!"
"He doesn't. He really doesn't," Hermione told him, her pity for him deepening, "Ron please, Harry sees you like a brother he never had. He sticks to you in whatever circumstance. You don't know this but he was miserable when you got mad at him last year. I can never be as good company for him as you are, so that's why he missed you terribly."
"Well, you help him more than I ever can," he said, "I'm here only if he needs good company and not solid help."
Hermione got up from her chair to sit in the one beside Ron, so she could talk some sense into him more effectively.
"Listen to me," she said firmly, "You're not giving yourself much credit. If you recall correctly, you've helped Harry in every difficult situation, every year. You've got us past that deadly chess game in our first year, you've won house points for us, you've stood up for us in front of Malfoy and his stupid gang, and now, you're participating in Quidditch to help Harry with the team, among other things. So you see? You're not at all a sidekick, you're a hero yourself! Without you, Harry and I would be dead."
For a moment, there was silence as Ron thought about what she just told him. Then he looked at her with an amused expression.
"How are you so good with words?"
Hermione giggled, "I was just restating what happened to us."
"Hmm...well, I guess you're right," Ron said thoughtfully, "I just had to let it all out. I couldn't say this in front of Harry."
"Ron, it is okay to talk about your feelings," Hermione said, "There's no shame in that. It will only make you feel better."
"Yeah, I guess I opened up to you because you understand," he sighed, "I sometimes bottle up my feelings in case people think I am being weird."
"Sharing your feelings isn't weird. It's healthy and you should do it more often," Hermione advised him, "You can talk to me anytime you want. You can talk to Lavender, too."
"Oh, I don't think I can ever talk to Lavender about this," Ron claimed, "What if she thought of me as an emotional wreck? I don't want to be perceived like that!"
Hermione rolled her eyes, "What did I tell you? It's nothing to be ashamed of! Also, Lavender's your girlfriend. She is a great listener and I speak from experience."
"She is?" he asked, amazed.
"Yes. So, you shouldn't hold back from telling her these things. Well, if she doesn't take you seriously, she isn't a good girlfriend. Try to put her on the test."
"Okay, okay, you're right," Ron finally gave in, making Hermione smile.
"So, what were you saying about defending ourselves?" he asked, after a few seconds.
Hermione rested her chin on her fist, "I was saying that we don't know enough spells. What should we do?"
"Maybe Harry could teach us," Ron said, "He really does know more spells than us."
For a minute, Hermione went silent - then a smile slowly crept on her face.
"Ron, you're a genius!"
"I am?" he said, puzzled.
Hermione looked at him excitedly, "Think about it - Harry teaching us, and other students who want to learn proper Defense Against the Dark Arts! Because let's be honest, Umbridge is a lousy teacher."
"Wait, you thought I was being serious?" Ron asked, surprised, "I was only joking! And do you really think Harry can teach us and a bunch of other students? Because last time I checked, he hated attention!"
"He'll be fine, you'll see!" Hermione answered, beaming, "Being taught by Harry, someone who has experienced defending himself first - hand, is much better than being taught by that liar. Students will be lining up to us if we implemented this plan! Oh my God, ideas are stuffing my brain. I need to organize them on paper!"
As soon as she said this, she got up and bolted up the stairs to her dormitory, yelling, "I'm going to get some parchment!"
Ron shook his head, smiling a little, "She is indeed mental..."
--------------
As Hermione and Ron made plans in the Gryffindor tower, Harry was being led to Dumbledore's office by Professor McGonagall. For some reason, his palms kept getting sweaty and he had to dry them on his robes. Even though he wasn't scared of Dumbledore and had massive respect for him instead, Harry couldn't help but feel nervous. It was probably because he would be meeting the headmaster personally after such a long time, especially when he desperately wanted to see him.
McGonagall had not uttered a single word about why Dumbledore wanted to see Harry. Maybe he wanted to know about the dream or had some information he wanted Harry to know. Whatever it was, the secrecy was driving Harry nuts.
At last, they reached the entrance of Dumbledore's office.
"Acid pops," McGonagall said, and the gargoyle immediately sprung to life.
"In you go, Mr Potter," she said, turning to Harry. But before he entered the office, he blurted out, "Professor, why does he want to see me?"
She gave him a look, "Perhaps that's a question the headmaster should answer himself."
In other words, don't ask me that, I won't answer you.
Harry sighed inwardly and stepped on the stairs without another word.
Within seconds, McGonagall disappeared from view and Dumbledore's magnificent office came into it. Thankfully, Umbridge wasn't there.
Harry stepped off the stairs to enter Dumbledore's premises. However, the wizard was nowhere to be seen.
Oh, for crying out loud, Harry thought angrily, but he waited politely for Dumbledore to appear on his own terms. Fawkes the Phoenix was perched on his twig beside the headmaster's desk. Harry reached forward to stroke his feathers.
"Hey, Fawkes. You look well."
"And so do you, Harry," a voice called from behind him. He turned around to find the headmaster looking at him and the bird with a smile on his face.
"Thanks, professor," he replied, with a little smile himself. It was great to see Dumbledore again. But as the wizard approached him, his smile faded. For some reason, he was not looking directly at Harry.
Choosing to ignore this, he asked, "You wanted to see me, Professor?"
"Yes, but I'm afraid this won't be a delightful meeting," the wizard sighed while taking a seat on his magnificent throne-like chair, "I want to touch on some grave topics with you, Harry. So, have a seat."
The words 'grave topics' sent Harry's heart to throb. Unbeknownst to him, his hands were literally shaking as he took a seat in front of Dumbledore. Why the hell was he so scared and nervous?
"Now, I've been hearing that you've been seeing a strange dream often?" Dumbledore asked looking at the parchments on his table instead of him. Harry couldn't understand why he was avoiding eye contact with him but it was making him angry. Extremely angry.
The trembling of his hands wasn't helping.
Harry took a deep breath before beginning his account. He had been waiting for this moment for a long time now. Maybe that's why I'm so nervous.
He told Dumbledore about the dream. He recounted the happenings of it and how it always contained a black door in an unfamiliar corridor which he always failed to reach. Dumbledore listened intently but not once did he look at him.
"It is always the same door at the end of the same corridor?" he asked, as soon as Harry finished.
"Yes, sir."
"And you get a strong urge to see beyond it every time?"
"Yes. Every time."
"Then what I was afraid would happen is happening all along..."
Harry's eyebrows shot up in surprise, "What? I don't understand, sir."
Dumbledore got up from his chair to examine a portrait, whilst saying, "It means that Voldemort is trying to possess your mind, Harry."
His words brought Harry's jaw to drop, silencing him. Dumbledore spoke again, "Since this year started, I suspected that this was going to happen."
"But, sir...how...?" Harry took a deep breath and tried again, "How is he doing that?"
"Ever since the night he gave you that scar," Dumbledore explained, "Voldemort left a bit of him inside you. He didn't realize the importance of the connection he had with you until he grew to his full power. But now that he has...he is trying to break in your mind slowly until you become controlled by him."
Harry shook his head, dazed, "But why don't I feel anything?"
"You do, Harry. More than you realize. Have you ever felt...emotions that you couldn't explain these days?"
Suddenly, it hit him. Suddenly, Harry could understand everything Dumbledore was saying. The unexplained anger he got so often nowadays, was it double in size because Voldemort was feeling angry, too?
And the nervousness he was feeling while meeting Dumbledore...and the extreme anger accompanying it - were they Voldemort's emotions instead of his own? Because come to think of it, Harry never felt this level of anger with the headmaster. He decided to tell Dumbledore that.
"Yes, exactly," the wizard affirmed, "These are not your emotions, but are his."
Suddenly, Harry started to feel a bit dizzy and took his head in his hands. This was a lot to process. Fearing Voldemort from a safe distance was one thing - but having him within yourself was the most devastating thing Harry could think of.
Dumbledore gave Harry a minute to collect his thoughts until the latter spoke, still in disbelief, "So, sir...does that mean the dream...?"
"I believe so, too, Harry," he replied, "I believe it's Voldemort's doing. But we can't be too sure until you see a bit more of this dream."
"But...I've been having the same dream since day one of fifth year!"
"I know, but this is Voldemort we're talking about," Dumbledore told him, a bit sadly, "He has the cleverest ways to do as he wishes."
Silence pervaded them for a moment. Until Harry asked, "Sir, do you know where he's hiding?"
Dumbledore shook his head. He still didn't make any sort of direct eye contact with Harry, which was truly puzzling him. Did Dumbledore fear that he would see Voldemort in Harry's eyes?
"Since I knew that this sort of thing was going to happen - due to my journeys and such," Dumbledore said, taking a seat again, "I had prepared for a way to subdue Voldemort trying to get in your mind because we cannot allow this to continue. Who knows what he has up his sleeves once he gains the full power of your mind? Therefore, I've arranged Occlumency lessons for you."
"Occlumency?"
"You are not familiar with the word?" Dumbledore asked with a puzzled look, then it turned to realization, "Ah, I believe Professor Umbridge wouldn't want her students to learn that, despite it being in this year's course. Well, Harry, Occlumency is a way to defend exterior forces trying to get in your mind, exactly as Voldemort is trying to do, and what he is doing is called Legilimency."
"So basically, I'm going to block his way into my mind?" Harry asked.
"Precisely. So, according to my plan, you are to have Occlumency classes with Professor Snape every Monday night -"
"Excuse me, sir," Harry interrupted him, as politely as he could, "Professor Snape will be giving me these private lessons?"
Dumbledore looked up finally but his gaze was on something over Harry's shoulder, "Yes. Professor Snape is an expert at both Legilimency and Occlumency. Therefore, he's the perfect fit."
"But, Professor -" Harry stopped short. He didn't know how he could put it on formal terms that Snape hated him. Harry loathed his Potions class and had to endure it every single day, that's why he absolutely didn't want extra lessons with Snape! Dumbledore must know how much Snape detested him and vice versa, but then he still arranged this, as if Harry's life wasn't full of suffering enough...
"These classes are extremely important, Harry," Dumbledore was saying, shuffling some documents on his desk, "I trust that you will put your utmost effort into them."
Harry let out a long breath, trying to calm himself down. He was already feeling angry because Dumbledore was not looking at him directly but now, he was furious.
"Sir, I don't know how to put this to you," he began, "But Professor Snape and I are not on...er...good terms."
"I know Professor Snape can be a bit... demanding," Dumbledore said, smiling, "But he is the man for the job."
"Sir, you don't understand -"
"Oh, I understand perfectly, Harry. Professor Snape may come off as unapproachable but like I said if you want to learn Occlumency at its finest..."
But the rest of his words faded out as Harry's mind blocked them. His fists clenched and unclenched and his teeth gritted. He was enraged and he wanted to punch something, anything. His gaze slid over at Dumbledore again, who was now standing up and was still complimenting Snape, with his back to him. Harry's hands turned to fists again and he had it.
Without warning, he stood up and EXPLODED.
"GODDAMMIT, WHY WON'T YOU JUST LOOK AT ME?!" he shouted at the top of his lungs. Dumbledore whirled out at his outburst and for the first time in a long while - their eyes met.
Suddenly, a hot rage filled Harry, tripling in size as he stared into Dumbledore's eyes. He hated him and wanted him dead.
"Harry," Dumbledore said, as Harry stared daggers at him, "Calm down."
"Calm down?" Harry scoffed, his hand automatically reaching for his wand, "How do you expect me to calm down when you RUIN my life more by appointing me EXTRA LESSONS with SNAPE?!"
With his wand retrieved, he pointed it at Dumbledore.
But Dumbledore was quick. Before Harry could do anything, he disarmed him.
It doesn't matter if I don't have my wand, Harry instantly thought, I still have my hands.
Immediately, he flung himself at Dumbledore, but this time, the latter wasn't ready. Harry's hands grabbed Dumbledore's neck, causing both of them to fall. He stared at his headmaster with eyes full of hatred as his hold on his neck tightened. Only one thought was running in his mind...I have to kill him.
But of course, he couldn't kill one of the greatest wizards of all time just by strangling him. Dumbledore had retrieved his wand - and he blasted Harry across the room.
Harry's head hit something hard and just like that, everything went black...
The door, there it was again. But something was stopping him from reaching it. Some ungodly force was whispering things to him, things he couldn't understand. The door was going farther and farther away as the voice continued whispering.
Shut up! I'm trying to get to the door! he told the mysterious voice, but it didn't listen to him. His heart sank as he watched the door disappear into nothingness. Then - a bloodcurdling scream filled the air, with a flash of green lightning. His mother...he had to reach her!
But he failed, just like he failed to reach the door. The voice continued its whispering as if nothing happened...
"Harry, wake up," someone was saying to him. The voice led him to stir, and slowly return to the real world.
Dumbledore was looking at him with his blue orbs and then sighed with relief as Harry opened his eyes.
"I was about to take you to the hospital wing," he said, helping Harry sit up, "But I knew you could handle it," he smiled warmly at him, "And you proved me right."
"What...what happened, sir?" Harry asked. His head was paining like mad.
"I'm sorry about what I did, Harry," Dumbledore told him, "But it had to be done. Your head hit that tablet -" he pointed at the said tablet, "As you took your fall."
"Took my fall?" Harry asked, confused. But as he regained his full consciousness, everything came flooding back to him.
Dumbledore had been talking about Occlumency lessons with Snape, and it angered Harry so much, that he had the fleeting thought of murdering him.
Realizing what he did, Harry averted his eyes from the headmaster, feeling more than ashamed, "Professor, I am sorry. I –"
"Don't apologize, Harry," said Dumbledore, "It wasn't you. It was Voldemort acting through you."
Harry didn't reply. He was still reliving the horror of the past minutes.
"I hope you see now how important these lessons are for you, Harry," Dumbledore sighed, returning to his desk, "Your mind is extremely vulnerable right now, and you have to defend it from unfriendly forces before you do something unspeakable."
He was right. What Harry just did was enough to make him realize that these lessons were vital, and if Snape was the one taking them, then so be it.
Hence, he finally said, "I do understand now, professor. I'll try my best at these classes," he added, for good measure.
Dumbledore smiled at his sentiment and said, "Very good! So, let's look upon the schedule for these classes, shall we?"
Harry went to his desk, and his eyes caught Dumbledore's face. He noticed that he still wasn't looking at him directly. But this time, he knew why. Making eye contact with him had resulted in him acting horribly, and Harry really didn't want something like that to happen again.
Trying to keep his mind blank and wishing for his own Pensieve, Harry concentrated on Dumbledore's plan on these extra lessons. Ten minutes into this activity, Dumbledore said, "Is this suitable for you?"
Harry nodded, "Yes, sir. It's all right."
"Perfect," Dumbledore replied, straightening his half-moon glasses, "I expect you to excel in these classes, Harry. They are for your own good."
"I'll try not to disappoint you, sir."
"I am sure you won't," the great wizard smiled, "Moving on, there's one more thing that I wish to advise you about."
Harry leaned forward, curious about what he had to say.
"Another way you can try controlling your emotions," Dumbledore said, "Is by finding distractions."
"Distractions?" Harry repeated, confused.
"Yes, distract yourself with other things that can help you fight the unwelcomed feelings," Dumbledore explained.
"You mean, like concentrate on activities that will lift my mood? Like Quidditch?" Harry asked.
"That can work too, yes," Dumbledore replied, "But what I mean is...find someone with whom you can distract yourself."
Harry was about to say, "My friends," but he stopped short. Dumbledore clearly knew he was best friends with Ron and Hermione and that they were the perfect pair to make him forget his problems. And he didn't need to mention something that was already happening.
No, Dumbledore meant something else, Harry thought, he means that I should get a girlfriend.
And Dumbledore's next words proved him right.
"You're a growing man, Harry," he said, his eyes twinkling, "Surely you must be having some new...needs?"
Without warning, Harry felt his cheeks heating up, turning him crimson. Dumbledore chuckled lightly at the sight, saying, "You do, don't you?"
But Harry wasn't smiling, let alone laughing. He couldn't. The events that unfolded in this meeting were more than unpleasant that he had expected. First, Dumbledore told him that Voldemort was possessing him, then told him he was to get extra lessons with his least favourite teacher, which caused him to lose control and act very unlike himself. And if that wasn't enough, now Dumbledore was telling him to get a girlfriend, and the girl Harry liked didn't seem to notice his existence to its fullest.
It literally looked as if Dumbledore wanted Harry to suffer, and a lot. He knew that his life was already difficult, due to the doings of Umbridge and the Ministry and his scar hurting more than it used to, and still he had to come along and add more to his list of troubles. Sometimes, Harry wondered if Dumbledore really cared about him or not...
"Well, that concludes our meeting," Dumbledore was saying as Harry zoned back in, "I wish you the very best, Harry. You may go."
Harry obeyed him, but just as he was about to leave, he turned around to face the headmaster again.
"Sir, while I was passed out, I saw that door again," he declared in a hollow voice.
Dumbledore raised his silver eyebrows, "The same visuals?"
"Yes, but this time," Harry looked at his trainers instead of the headmaster's face, "I could hear my mother screaming."
Dumbledore approached Harry and placed his hand on his shoulder, "You have to keep reminding yourself," he said, "That any extraordinary occurrence in your mind is merely Voldemort's trick. He wants to scare you, Harry. By making you hear your dear mother, reminding you what he's capable of."
"But I won't be scared," Harry replied, avoiding Dumbledore's eyes, "Not easily."
"That's the spirit," Dumbledore said, squeezing Harry's shoulder lightly, "If you see any difference in that peculiar dream, you will inform me, all right, Harry?"
"Yes, professor."
"Good. Off you go."
Hearing the dismissal, Harry finally left the headmaster's office, with his mother's voice still echoing in his mind...
---------
"We will also invite other houses too, of course," Hermione was saying, "If they want to actually learn."
"Even gits like the Slytherins?" Ron asked, "They would turn us in as fast as we can say 'Defense'."
It had been a little over an hour since Harry had left to see Dumbledore, and Ron and Hermione were still planning this new idea they had about Harry teaching the students privately.
"Fair point," Hermione agreed, "Then let's scratch them off the list."
For a few more moments, they went over the structure of the plan they had proposed and reviewed everything Hermione had put on the parchments before her. Once they were finally done, Ron declared, "Wow, that required a lot of brainpower."
"Now we just have to acquire Harry's approval and then we're good to go," Hermione expressed, smiling brightly.
"I wonder what's keeping him for so long," Ron said.
"Maybe Dumbledore is telling him what he's been up to lately," Hermione guessed, "That would help answer some questions."
Ron nodded - then heaved a big yawn.
"That food race I had with Dean made me sleepy," he commented, "And now you made me extra tired by making me use my mind to its full extent..."
Hermione rolled her eyes at him as he stood up, saying, "Well, I'm glad the basic planning is finished. I'm going to take a nap."
"All right then. See you," Hermione replied, without looking up from her notes. Ron retired to his dormitory, making her the only person left in the common room. The few first years who were present before had now left the common room, too.
The silence that followed was rewarding - and so much that Hermione had to lean back and take a deep breath in its midst. After using her mind a lot, peace was what she needed. However, that peace went unappreciated mere minutes later as Harry entered the common room, looking like he was deep in thought. The scowl on his face also made him look angry.
Immediately, Hermione asked, "What happened? Is everything okay?"
"Absolutely not," he replied, taking a seat beside her and burying his head in his hands.
"The meeting didn't go well?" she asked him, frowning.
"You were right about one thing. He did want to hear about the dream," he replied, absent-mindedly observing the red velvet tablecloth, "But he also gave me more to suffer from."
He launched off to tell her everything that happened in that special visit. Hermione listened to him with her mouth open, and once he finished, she clasped it with her hands.
"Oh my God, you attacked Dumbledore?!" she exclaimed, aghast.
Harry nodded, "It was Voldemort's emotions acting for me. He loathes Dumbledore and somehow that hatred seeped into me. Also..."
He turned to look at her, making her stop short. Their faces were now just inches apart from each other. It was crazy how he could leave her breathless just like that.
"After Dumbledore told me about Voldemort kind of possessing me," Harry continued, "It made me realize...I often let out my anger, intensified because of him, on you and Ron. And I...I'm sorry about that."
But Hermione shook her head, "No. Don't apologize! It's not your fault Voldemort is possessing you and making you feel emotions you don't tend to feel."
"Still..."
She held up her hand, "I told you, don't worry about it."
Silence pervaded them for a moment. Harry still couldn't fathom the thought that he tried to attack Dumbledore, just to do Voldemort's bidding. He felt like a Death Eater, and that was the most controversial thing to get involved in. As for Hermione, she broke the silence timidly.
"Harry, you are going to take these Occlumency lessons, right?"
He sighed at her question and ran a hand through his hair, "Even though Snape and I hate each other to the fullest, I do think they are important. I just don't know how they'll go..."
"They'll go just fine. Snape has been given this extremely important job in an aspect of Defense Against the Dark Arts. He is going to take it responsibly."
Harry thought about it, then said, "He better do. Either way, it would be the worst thing I would have ever done in my life."
"Maybe you won't be saying that in the future," Hermione assured him, though she wasn't so sure about it herself, "Dumbledore always has a reason to do something, remember?"
"Yes, I know. But couldn't he teach me himself?" Harry asked, "If this is so important that I have to put aside my differences with Snape, can't Dumbledore ditch his plans and teach me Occlumency, for my sake? He knows how much I hate Snape. And how important these lessons are."
Hermione took a deep breath, collecting herself. At every word Harry had spoken, his anger was rising, and there needed to be a calm one in the situation.
"He just wants to make my life more difficult," Harry went on, with gritted teeth, "Just want to give me more to experience on, doesn't he? I should have used my wand more effectively, finishing him for onc-"
"Okay, calm down," Hermione told him, patting his hand, "This isn't you. You would never think of harming Dumbledore. You're his favourite student for a reason."
"I'm not his favourite student!" he snapped, livid now, "Why do people keep assuming I am?! That's what you do to your favourite student? Make his life a living hell?"
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that," Hermione said, slightly shaking. Harry looked scary when he was furious, "You're not his favourite student, but you still would never think of hurting Dumbledore. This is Voldemort acting for you, Harry. And you're much, much better than him."
Her soothing voice penetrated through his veins and incredibly calmed him down. Returning to normal and realizing he snapped at Hermione yet again, he dropped his eyes in shame, "I can't control...this anger, Hermione. I'm so sorry."
"It's all right," she replied. Her voice was on the verge of breaking, which she desperately tried to restrain, "Please don't apologize for this. Everything's going to be all right, you'll see."
Succeeding in removing the lump from her throat without it acting up, she continued, "You should focus more on the things which aren't your problems. Maybe that can help control your emotions."
"You're right," he said, still sounding a bit unsure, "Dumbledore said the same thing. He advised that I should distract myself."
"Distract yourself with Quidditch and such?"
"No, he meant that I should get a girlfriend," he confessed, turning a bit pink. Hermione would have laughed out loud at this, but she couldn't.
"Do you have someone in mind, then?" she asked, nonchalant suddenly. Harry raised an eyebrow at her, "Cho, of course."
Of course, Hermione almost rolled her eyes, "So try hitting her up then."
"I know you don't approve of her, Hermione. But this can be a possible solution," Harry declared.
"Yes, I know. That's why I'm saying you should hit her up," Hermione said, a little bit coldly.
Since Harry didn't like the change of air about her, he decided to change the topic, "Where's Ron?"
"Napping."
"And what's this?" He pointed at the bunch of parchments spread out on the table, that she completely forgot about.
Suddenly, Hermione didn't think it was a grand idea. Seeing Harry like this made her doubt everything, including the plan she thought would be perfect.
"It's nothing," she said, hastily collecting the paper and trying to block its contents from his view at the same time, "Just some pre-planning for the exams."
Harry stared at her, "Hermione, the exams are in June."
"I know, I know," she said, shooting him a nervous smile, "But you know how I like to pre-plan everything..."
But Harry could tell by her body language that she was trying to hide something.
"What is it, Hermione? Tell me," he said, firmly.
"Nothing! Like I said..."
"It definitely isn't nothing," he argued, "You're literally hiding those parchments from my view."
Hermione mentally thought about what to do at this point - and she decided to give up. Maybe the plan wouldn't be as bad as she thought it would be if she explained it to him.
"Well, Ron and I thought up something," she began, "Something to help us cope with these horrible Defense Against the Dark Arts classes."
"Really?" Harry said, his emerald eyes widening, "What did you think of?"
Hermione took a deep breath before continuing. She felt so unsure about this...
"We thought that maybe..." she trailed off.
"Yes?" He raised his eyebrow. Plucking up courage, she finished, "We thought that maybe you could teach us?"
"I could...teach you?" Harry repeated, puzzled.
Hermione nodded, "You see...Ron and I thought that it would be a dozen times better to learn Defense Against the Dark Arts from someone with firsthand experience," she glimpsed at him nervously, "Rather than from a woman of the Ministry who refuses to believe Voldemort has returned...?"
He looked at her blankly, so she continued, trying to sound as reasonable as possible, "Harry, you cannot deny the fact that we would have to face Voldemort sooner or later. Or fight for our defence since he's on the rise again. So, shouldn't we learn tactics and methods of defending ourselves in a difficult situation like you did?"
Gradually, Harry's face became relaxed from confused, "You're right. You should learn that stuff. It's extremely important in these times. I don't know how good of a teacher I'll be...but I'll try my best."
Hermione's mouth was about to drop open again, but she closed it at the nick of time. Harry was taking this surprisingly well...but she was extremely glad that he did.
"I feel privileged that you guys think I can be your teacher," Harry said, grinning. The first smile he got since he came back from that fateful meeting, and the sight of it melted Hermione's heart. There was nothing that could make her more contended than seeing Harry happy. Yes, not even excellent grades.
"You're the best student at that subject I've ever seen," Hermione grinned back at him, "So I'm sure you'll be a great teacher."
"Much better than Snape, I hope," said Harry, and they both laughed. His anger was thankfully ebbing away from him and he was mildly surprised to find that Hermione was the reason behind it.
"You and Ron should be prepared because I won't go easy on you guys," Harry went on, sarcastically, "I'll be taking away house points faster than Snape."
Hermione was about to giggle - but she stopped short. He had just said, "Ron and her." Did he think that he'd be teaching only his best friends?
Oh...so that's why he was so okay with it...
"Um...Harry?" Hermione started, treading on dangerous waters. She was completely sure now that he won't like this idea.
"Yeah?"
"Uh...our plan is..." she took a deep breath and added, "That you will be teaching any student who's willing to learn."
Immediately, his smile faltered, "Any student?"
Her eyes dropped on the table, "Yes, any student. From...other houses, too..."
There was an awkward pause. Harry was still processing what she just said, so she decided to fill up the silence.
"It's only fair that they get to learn properly, too. All of their lives will be in danger if Voldemort or his Death Eaters were to attack..."
She waited breathlessly for his reply, which came after a few seconds.
"Hermione...you do realize that majority of the students think I'm a liar?"
"That's n -"
"And you do realize," he continued, interrupting her, "That they wouldn't want to be taught by a liar?"
"Harry, listen to me," Hermione quickly said, not giving him a chance to interrupt her again, "There are many people here who think that you're telling the truth. And that includes our friends, too."
"Then why don't they come up to me and tell me that, like Luna did?" Harry said, a bit angrily, "Since the Ministry is trying its best to portray me and Dumbledore as liars, everybody must know that it would be relieving to hear that I'm not alone in this..."
"You're not alone in this. You've got Ron and me," Hermione said.
"Besides you guys, of course," Harry sighed. He wouldn't let his anger get the best of him, not this time.
"Look," he said, after taking a deep breath to calm himself down, "What I'm saying is...I'm not going to be there for some people who weren't there for me in the time of trouble."
Hermione's eyes widened, "That's not right! You're being generic!"
"Well, if I am then so be it!" he retorted, "At least telling me that they're on my side during this whole fiasco of the Ministry would have been enough, Hermione. And now you're telling me to spend my time, energy, and efforts during my already hectic schedule, on some people who are too scared to state their opinions? I'm not going to teach a bunch of cowards!"
"If you looked into it a bit more properly -"
"I already did," he replied, standing up, "Listen, I appreciate you doing your best for me, Hermione. But creating such plans where you use me to benefit others is not going to cut it."
"Ron was the one who got the idea," she blurted out, without realizing what she was saying.
"But you formulated it?" Harry said, raising his eyebrow. This time, Hermione didn't reply, and averted her eyes from him, defeated.
"I am always ready to teach Ron and you," Harry added, backing away to the stairs, "But if I have to teach other people, then I'm sorry. I won't do it."
With that, he left the common room, leaving behind a silence that was now painful for her, instead of gladdening...