'We serve and protect', Anastasia swallows the lump that seems to have lodged itself in her throat since a few days as she walks by the solemn inscription. She still remembers when she has first read it on her first day here. Though now, the words don't echo the same way inside.
If she had known... The Anastasia from then would never recognize herself.
At the time, her only concern has been her dream to become a lawyer, and even if it is still a point she will have to deal with sooner than later, in a few weeks, it has been pushed to the back of her mind, under the pile of worries that are taking up all the space as she makes her way through the now-familiar narrow hallway.
She is standing in front of her locker before she can even realize it, and it is still as absent-mindedly that she dives her hand in her heavy bag, groping for the tiny rectangle of metal in the silky black liner. It's probably the first time she arrives by the lock without her key in hand, and she is cursing her out-of-character forgetfulness when instead, her fingers come in contact with a bigger rectangular device that seems to be taunting her.
There is nothing to see, except her reflection on the black screen, which she hasn't switched on since yesterday, and yet she is staring blankly at it, too many images passing before her eyes and making her stomach shrivel.
She hasn't known a simple phone could have so much power over her. But it isn't the inanimate device; it's the dozens of unread texts and missed calls it contains that make her grip tighten around it.
Nathaniel, that's what the black screen is screaming at her.
She knows there are lots of chances she will run into him here, and if she is already paralyzed in front of a phone, she can't imagine what she will do in front of his chocolate brown eyes.
She hasn't come up with any answers to her doubts and fears. She needs more time, but time is something they don't have, and the deadline of the wedding bells keeps getting closer with each tick-tock of the clock.
Just the thought of her wedding brings back a crawling uneasiness under her skin. What has happened yesterday with Fergus, that's maybe the main reason why she is avoiding Nathaniel right now.
She isn't mad at him. Has she ever been actually? She is just angry at herself for throwing herself at Fergus just after running away from Nathaniel. It has been desperate and thoughtless, and now, she has to add embarrassment to the high pile of emotions inside.
She is afraid Nathaniel will catch it through her eyes and see it as betrayal because that's what it feels like in her twisting stomach, even if it is ridiculous when Fergus is her future husband and Nathaniel is married. Their 'let it be' agreement shouldn't include guilt toward each other or jealousy.
Jealousy, that is the sourness adding up to the pang in her stomach as she imagines Nathaniel with his wife the same way she has been with Fergus and maybe even closer.
This 'let it be' is really getting out of hand, out of her hand, a little like her phone when some of her colleagues enter the room, and she catches it just in time before it can crash on the floor.
Luckily, all her colleagues are busy with their own things, so a greeting with a forced smile is enough to cover her distressed stare and the slip-up.
It's the morning rush. The shift is starting soon, and everyone's main preoccupation is getting changed and ready. All these women can't guess what is going on through Anastasia's mind. Though with the locker room quickly filling, and the voices greeting each other, the locker doors slamming, and the fabrics ruffling, the loud buzzing it is forming resembles a lot the overwhelming sensations fusing inside her body.
She is watching the busy scene with big eyes like an outsider, yet she isn't. She has work to do, and she doesn't need to bring herself into more trouble. So even if it is pulling on all her being, she lets the phone slip from her finger back in her bag, and she finally finds her key in the middle of the disorder there.
However, contrary to the small rectangle of metal that quickly gets placed in its right place, in the lock, she is getting lost farther the second she opens her locker, and a white square catches her gaze.
Her thoughts and her heart are once again picking up their pace in front of a plain item, which hasn't been there yesterday. There might have happened a lot since her last shift, but she is sure of this, and it makes the folded piece of paper even more mysterious.
It could be from anyone and about anything; that's why her fingers are instantly jumping on it to find an answer, and after a glance around to make sure that everyone is still busy with their things, and not hers, it's her heart that leaps.
'Meet me this morning in room 768
N.'
She has never seen his handwriting, yet she knows it's him, and the only question left is: what does she do now?
Five minutes later, she still has no answer, but she is walking down the hallway, her hand gripping tightly her housekeeping cart and a pronounced frown etching on her features.
The silence around is a deafening contrast with the locker room she has just left. Though the turmoil inside is even louder with a mix of her thumping heartbeats and her screaming doubts, and even her skin is buzzing against the familiar cotton of her white uniform as the room numbers she passes by are growing.
With each door she glimpses, everything intensifies.
760. What if it isn't him? Does she know another N? And what if it's a trap? Cold sweat is adding up and pearling along her skin with each what-if. But she tries to reason with always the same answer: if someone knew, she wouldn't be here right now.
762. What if someone sees her now? Her frown deepens to take in frantically her surroundings, yet except for her quiet steps and the cart rolling on the floor, there is not a move or a sound around.
764. Why does Nathaniel want to see her? Has he found a solution? Could there be any? Or has he changed his mind? The bangs of her heart are threatening to engulf all the rest.
766. She should be working right now. This is against all her principles, and she is tightening her grip around the cart like not long ago she has been holding to a scale pendant and all her beliefs.
When she stops in front of the room 768, she realizes her mom is right. She is different. All the emotions boiling inside are different from what she has ever felt before. The itching on the tip of her fingers to just open the door and find Nathaniel behind is different, and she has changed because she lets it take over, grabbing the handle and discarding all the doubts.
Yet her impetus, her hope, and finally, her heart drop when she enters the room, and there are no strong arms or tender chocolate eyes to greet her, just the emptiness of what looks like a bathroom.
Her gaze slides on the row of washstands where she vaguely catches sight of her deep frown and tired features in the mirrors above, and she grips the note in her hand as if grasping she hasn't imagined it while she tries to find some sense in all of this.
Some benches and four lockers are standing near the sinks, but except for a few white towels, her gaze has glided all around the room without catching any clue about what she is doing here, at least until its journey ends on the stalls by her right, and a hand comes out of them, and she is the one caught, being pulled behind.
It all happens so fast that she can do nothing except let out a scream, which gets muffled by a strong hand. It barely lasts a second before she comes face to face with a pair of familiar eyes, yet it has been enough for her heart to jump, stop, and now, it is falling to its place in an uneven, fast pace.
"Oh mon dieu, Nathaniel! You scared me!" She puts a hand on her chest as if it would change something to the erratic rhythm of her heart.
"Sorry, I thought it was safer." He offers her a smile and peers at her from under his eyebrows, and that's the moment she realizes she has missed him, even if it has been just yesterday that she has run away from him.
Seeing those chocolate brown eyes is like breathing again after all the tensions that have been crushing her lungs.
"Safer? Giving me a heart attack?!" she gasps with a wide grin, but he doesn't seem to catch the hint of playfulness, even though his eyes are glued to her features.
He is staring at her like she would disappear at any second, which would be impossible when he has her pinned against the wall, and there is no way she would leave anyway when he replies softly,
"Sorry..."
"And it was also 'safer' to put a note in my locker? If someone else had seen it?" Her lawyer reflexes are coming back, and it may not be the best moment, but she has to add it before he can melt her completely, including her reason, and seeing how quickly her lifted eyebrow is falling down in front of his shrug, it might already be happening.
"You wouldn't reply to my calls."
"I'm sorry..." She looks down, not bearing to see the disappointment in his eyes.
However, he doesn't let her avoid him this time, and as he puts two fingers under her chin, lifting her gaze to meet his, it is something else she finds in the intense dark shades: earnestness and so much shining determination.
"I've found a way." He takes her hand, sparking all her nerve-endings with the light brush of his fingers, so much that she barely notices something cold and metallic sliding in the palm of her hand, and all her focus is on the two feather-like points of contact of the warm tips of his fingers on her skin, under her chin and on her hand.
That's only when he closes her fingers around the small item in her palm that her attention and curiosity switch to the unknown object. Yet she can only guess what it is because his soft yet firm grip on her face keeps her gaze only on him.
The item is cold, small, and with rectangular and round forms. It could be anything and everything, and her mind is already reeling, though not as fast as her heart.
"I've made a duplicate key, so you can enter directly the treehouse, and you don't have to wait outside if I'm not here."
So that's what the piece of metal is; her thoughts can stop spinning, but her heart doesn't, as he continues, his tone, serious and comforting, drawing her to lean on him in more ways than one.
"And I'll fix this fence, so no one can enter the property again."
These are just a few words, little attentions, yet they are enough for her heart to soar, a wide smile to stretch her lips, and a lightness to invade her whole body. This is far from an answer to all the questions and doubts she has inside, but it proves his seriousness and commitment, and this is all she needs right now.
"You'll repair it yourself?"
"Yes, this is safer. So no one knows about our place," he explains simply what he's been racking his brain all night for. "Hey! I'm really good with my hands!" He grins.
He's been paralyzed for her reaction, and now, her lifted eyebrow and cheeky smile are washing relief over him like a ray of sunshine melting his frozen muscles.
As she giggles lightly, shaking her head, he recognizes his angel, the spontaneous and natural Anastasia, and even though she is still tensed, he can feel her easing under his touch as he leans closer.
"Thank you," she whispers, a cracking of vulnerability slipping through her honest tone. "Do you need help for the fence or something else?"
"No." His reply is instant, and as he pulls his face back to look at her, he doesn't even have to think about his next words. "I just need to see you smile." He traces the contours of her smile with a finger before slowly traveling to the crease between her eyebrows. "And stop worrying."
She averts her eyes down because she doesn't want to spoil the moment with her worries, but his gaze is piercing through her, and not only his gaze actually, when he murmurs just above the shell of her right ear,
"Maybe I can do something to help you relax? Show you how good I am with my hands..." His fingers brush her hips, yet she can sense his second of hesitation, making sure she won't run away, before he grips firmly her waist.
"Or with my mouth..." He proves his point with his lips, tongue, and teeth on her earlobe, and as his hands are already sneaking under her clothes, the desire in her veins is such a powerful argument, tipping the scale in his favor, and mostly, tilting her body closer to him.
Yet she forces herself to pull away, finding strength in all the fear and panic she has felt just yesterday.
"Are you crazy?! We can't here." Her tone is soft despite her words, and she isn't sure if it is only because she doesn't want to blow on him like a tornado again, or because she is already losing her breath. "If someone walks in..." Her voice falters when he trails languorous kisses until the corner of her mouth, and here, just where she is yearning to feel him, he leans away to bore his dark yet incredibly honest gaze into hers.
"We're only four people to have access to this room: Rick and Francis are out on a field mission for 2 days, and Darrell has just left for a newbies' training, so he won't be here until three good hours." He seems to have well thought out every detail. "There is just you and me..."
His hands have now released her hips, and no part of his body is touching her anymore. But the inviting darkness in his eyes might be even worse for her sanity.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, this is safe." He nods, and despite her reason screaming at her to stop, his reassuring yet hoarse tone is the only thing ringing in her ears as she lifts on her tiptoes.
He meets her halfway, and their lips finally find each other in a slow and soothing kiss. It's such a striking contrast with the wrecking emotions they have both felt away from each other, and it is even more powerful. His lips are gentle and hot, moving languidly against hers as if savoring feeling her again, and she recognizes the undeniable flames expanding in her veins with every caress of his mouth. Yet he doesn't pressure her, and she is the one deepening the kiss, craving more fire.
The second their tongues meet, it becomes even more intense, the desire propelled like lava to her core with every bang of her heart, and his hands fueling it as they find back their bearings on her body.
She feels herself getting lost in this kiss, in his soft lips, in the swirls of his tongue, and in the touch of his fingers. Whereas with Fergus, she hasn't been able to shut her thoughts, here, on Nathaniel's lips, her mind is going blank in a sinful haze. It may be wrong because it's dangerous, yet it feels so right.
When they pull away, he doesn't let her time to come back to her senses, carrying on his sensual kisses all over her neck, and although she is blinking her eyes to try to focus on her surroundings, she is more aware of the tickles of his ragged breaths on her skin than what she glimpses vaguely of the dark gray wall and what must be a showerhead she hasn't noticed before.
Anyway, her consciousness of where they are is completely blown away the second the raspy words are echoing in the small space and mostly in her left ear. "Let me make you feel better."
Her heart leaps and her core clenches, the two contrasting sensations making her suck a sharp breath, and in between the two, it seems impossible to find her reason, especially as his hands are skimming the tender skin just below the swell of her breasts and dissolving all her tensions to gather only a strained one between her legs.
This is craziness, and it won't solve all her problems. But she wants it. She needs it; she needs him.
"Yes, please..." she whispers, her hips swaying on their own accord, and as he focuses his gaze on hers, through the intense darkness, she can see his silent promise and his determination; she can even feel it when he grabs her hands around his neck and takes the key in her palm to put it securely in the pocket of her jacket.
Then after a last peck on her lips, he latches his lips to the sweet spot of her neck, where he knows she has concealed his mark, and she realizes how serious he has been in his words as the sensitive skin finds back its deep red tint in an exhilarating burn. His hands are as intent, finding their way back under her uniform and massaging her breasts.
She sees through what he is doing, rapidly overwhelming her with sensations to shut down her haunting thoughts, and it is working. Her head lulls back, and her body is already arching, offering him more access, begging for more.
He gives her more, satisfying and tantalizing her at the same time. She is still fully dressed, yet he is starting to know his way with her body, and while his mouth is still roaming every inch of exposed skin on her neck, his hands are cupping her breasts, tormenting deliciously her pointing peaks through the lace of her bra.
Moans start threatening to escape her lips, and she keeps them tightly on her sealed lips, almost as tight as the pressure building inside her core. The strain down there is searing, and she finds herself wishing he would just stop with his teasing touch. Though she regrets it instantly when he withdraws his hands, and her swollen breasts are left aching for more.
Her whole being is aching for more, and as if reading her thoughts, or at least her body, he is quick to comply with her deepest desire.
He tugs on the first snap fastener of her shirt to reveal her burning chest, and after leaving one tender kiss there, just above where her heart is banging loudly, and even trying to break free from her ribcage with the contact, his hands sneak inside her pants.
As he is holding her gaze, she can't decipher if he is asking for permission or just letting her know what he has planned. But the second appears more likely when he takes a firm grip of her butt before sliding the fabrics of her pants and underwear in one go.
"Nathaniel..." She can't hold back the breathless whimper that leaves her lips as he slowly gets down on his knees, keeping his dark gaze on hers the whole time.
This sight is heavenly sinful, and she tries to commit it to memory while he stays like this for a second, offering her time to prepare herself or stop him, but she can't do either. She can't even find her breath. The air around is thick like the haze they can only create together and that shields them away from the rest of the world.
The time and place are brought back to her memory at the glimpse of her white uniform pants on the dark tiles. However, she still lets Nathaniel guide her feet out of it. She feels safe with him. So she focuses her gaze on the darkness of his eyes, discarding the rest around.
"Remember you gotta be quiet," he murmurs on the tender skin of her inner thigh, and she is almost sure he can feel the aching throbbing of her heat up to there.
He slides that same thigh on his shoulder, and she doesn't even get time to find her balance that his mouth is already on her most sensitive nerves. Micro-sparks ignite instantly at the faint contact, and she threads her fingers in his hair for some support as her legs turn into liquid fire under the swirls of his tongue growing frantic.
Indeed, he doesn't lose time. Just like he has said he would find a way, he has promised to make her feel better, and that's what he does, even if 'better' feels like a euphemism. The pleasure coursing through her veins and gathering tightly in her center is becoming painful, and she needs more, a 'more' that he is progressively building inside her body through his expert touch.
It's like he is gathering all the haunting emotions she has experienced in the last 24 hours with the palm of his hands kneading her skin, and his tongue is turning them into tingling dynamite. It's an unsettling impression because she feels like he can see everything through her, all those negative emotions she is trying to hide inside, and while they could be grounds for him to be mad at her, he is flooding her with euphoria instead, explosive euphoria exactly.
This grenade inside her core is ticking faster as a satisfied groan escapes his lips. It is quiet, though it vibrates loudly on her sensitive nerves.
He's getting drunk on her inner flavor. He's missed her so much. It hasn't been long since he's last tasted her, barely a few days, but he's feared he would never feel her again. He hasn't even been sure she would come this morning, and now, he's about to make her come.
Seeing her like that is a dream after the last time he has watched her leave. Her features are tense now, but it's from the pleasure growing inside. She still looks like an electric ball of nerves ready to blow him away, yet this time, it's in an exhilarating way, and he isn't afraid to touch her. Finally, he can't meet her gaze because she is lost in her sensations, and not in her fears.
His pants are becoming tighter and tighter in front, or more exactly under, this sight. He is as hard as she is soft under his lips. Nevertheless, he doesn't care about his needs; his only preoccupation is to make her feel better.
The fright he has glimpsed in her tender eyes is still imprinted in his memory. He doesn't want to be the one who makes her feel like that; he wants to be the one who pleasures her, who soothes her. It's his only goal as he sucks more vigorously on her swollen nub. It's another kind of bliss pumping from his heart, and it is almost overpowering the throbbing between his legs.
"Look at me," he rasps, his panting demand tickling the fire of her center. "I want you to watch me."
More than his soft words, it's the vibrations he is sending through her that are making her eyes open wide, and if she has trouble adjusting her view to the artificial lighting of the room, she immediately catches the heavy drunk look in his eyes.
He is probably intoxicated on the same drug as she is, yet the darkness is still tremendously luminous, shining at her, and the same determined sparkle she has been met by when she has entered this stall is still there, making everything tighten inside.
Her core clenches, and her heart contracts, but in a euphoric way like an impetus before a high leap, and she indeed jumps when he slips two fingers in her slick entrance and traces a languorous lick along her folds.
The impossible pressure in her core is becoming sparking like electric wires are wrapping tighter and tighter around it, and she is fighting the moans on her closed lips so much that the sour taste of blood is invading her mouth, though she barely notices it because she is choking on her own breath. The shallow whiffs of air she is sucking through her nose aren't strong enough to bring oxygen to her lungs as they are clashing with everything growing inside: her held-back moans, her soaring heart, and the expanding ripples of her orgasm about to explode.
The electric ball of nerves inside is reaching an overwhelming point, yet contrary to all the tensions and doubts that have threatened to overflow since yesterday, she isn't afraid of it. She wants it.
He is encouraging her silently with so much tenderness through his eyes, and with the right curl of his fingers, this is all it takes to blow the trigger of the explosion inside, her arm flying to her mouth to trap inside the cries of pleasure ripping through her with the shockwaves.
There is fusing dynamite spreading through her veins from his touch, and she is fighting to keep her eyes on him, but at the same time, watching his calm and intoxicated dark gaze is deepening the experience. Actually, his hungry kisses on her pulsating nerves are also strengthening it as he keeps sending more bursting ecstasy through her trembling body. He maintains his rhythm until the explosives slowly vanish into a celestial smoke, and her hips are still shuddering with tiny aftershocks just with the feather-like kiss he leaves there.
Though his lips aren't finished, and he slowly trails them all around her exposed skin, paying special, tender attention at the red appearing in some marks, this time, in a soothing manner, and her limp body is melting more under his touch.
There is not an inch of tension remaining in her being, and she doesn't recall any of the thoughts she has had before entering this room. She barely remembers her name, though she remembers Nathaniel's as her body is humming it in her post-orgasmic haze.
"Are you okay?" he asks, standing up to give the same tender kisses to her lips.
She is hardly catching her breath, and she stares at him with big eyes. "Okay?! No, I'm feeling way better."
Her wide, serene smile is the best answer he could hope for, and he gazes at her to memorize every detail of it from her bright red puffy lips to the crinkles it creates at the corner of her eyes.
However, he quickly snaps out of it. To make her feel better isn't the only promise he's made. Even if could stay here forever, he can't risk too much. So while his fingers are still skimming everywhere around her body, he leans down.
"And you, are you okay?" Her quiet voice interrupts the surreal silence, making him look up, and the confused crease of his eyebrows immediately dissipates in a lift as he follows her gaze.
He's been so focused on Anastasia that he's forgotten this painful detail.
"Do you need some help?" The way she is nibbling on her bottom lip isn't helping at all, and sinful images are flooding his mind and the hardness down there.
But he grabs her panties instead. "No, thanks, I'll manage. I don't wanna make you more late for work."
He focuses on helping her with her underwear and pants to avoid her tempting gaze, though her body is as dangerous, and his fingers are still brushing her smooth skin more than necessary on their way.
"It's safer this way." His hands finish with a squeeze of her hips as he comes face to face with her again, trying to convince her or himself; she isn't sure.
But anyway, her heart does another somersault just when it has started to come back to a steady pace, and she stares back into his eyes, trying to unravel the mysteries of the tenderness held in the darkness there and of the serenity he has sent inside her veins.
"You should get going before I change my mind." He leans away, making her attention fall on the bulge in his pants.
This little detail, actually huge detail, triggers so many emotions in her, more than just the lust awakening her tired body, because it is him offering without expecting anything from her in return and proving his words.
"Are you sure?" Her thudding heart is almost begging to return the favor.
"Yes, but please come tonight at our place."
"Come?" She finds back his dark gaze, which appears even more sinful.
"Come." He presses slowly his mouth on her lips, echoing the innuendo through the languorous kiss, and there is no possible confusion as he pulls away, pushing the button to open the stall door, and she offers him a kittenish grin.
"Okay, see you tonight."
She keeps her smile as she steps into the bathroom; it is such an evident contrast with the tired frown she has glimpsed when she has entered. Though it is even more striking inside, and this is all thanks to Nathaniel.
Nathaniel. Her body is still trying to grasp what has just happened: her light-headed brain, her tingling core, and her pounding heart.
What she has been desperately looking for yesterday with Fergus, Nathaniel has just offered her in a few minutes. She will join him tonight. There is no doubt anymore.
She can't fight it; she can't deny it. There is something more, something about Nathaniel that is drawing her to him, and this is not the forbidden that she is craving. No, she hates the forbidden; that's what has made her run away yesterday.
Forbidden, she freezes on that word as she exits the bathroom and instantly meets a piercing clear gaze that draws all the blood out her face, and also all the euphoria from her veins.
The man is leaning casually against the wall; however, his gaze is nothing but detached. Through judgment and disdain, she can see he knows.
How is it possible? Nathaniel has told her only three other persons have the key. Is he one of them? Has he heard them? The questions are burning on her lips and inside her head, yet she knows better.
Asking would be admitting. So she just averts her gaze down, and as she can feel his cold one unwavering on her, it already gives her some answers, along with shivers down her spine.
Nevertheless, with shaking hands, she grips her cleaning cart and forces her weak legs to walk down the hallway that appears even more endless than on her way in, each step now carrying the weight of the eyes following her and everything it implies.
Before even reaching halfway, her phone is in her hands, and she is grasping it as if it held her life, though actually, it holds someone else's life.
She may already be a desperate case, but she won't let Nathaniel sink down with her. It appears the only thing that matters as her thumb quickly types a text, and she hopes the rushed words are understandable when she clicks 'send'.
When she lifts her gaze again, she is finally at the end of the hallway, yet she doesn't stop until she is safely alone in the elevator, and that's only then that she becomes aware of her hammering heart and ragged breath.
The adrenaline is coming down, and as the numbers on the screen are going up, her fears are creeping back up in her veins. They are pervading every inch of her body that Nathaniel has cured with euphoria. It feels like a paralyzing poison. She can't move, and breathing becomes harder with each passing second.
All the worst scenarios possible are flashing in her head, and even if she tries to think rationally, she always comes to the same conclusion: the man has made it clear through his gaze that he knows.
Those blue eyes, she is sure she has already seen them somewhere, and he has been wearing a dark tee-shirt, the same that Nathaniel wears sometimes, so he is probably a soldier too. Yet her brain is too dizzy with all the ups and downs she has experienced today to make more deductions.
Every time she tries to rake through her memories, she can only picture a pair of tender chocolate eyes that she is terrified to never see again, and when the ding of the elevator resonates again, they are the only thing remaining in her mind, along with this single thought: it won't change anything anyway.
Now all she can do is pray that her message will be received.
Someone has heard them? Who do you think it is? 😨😏 Do you think they're in danger (well, more than usual!)
Also, isn't Nate so adorable (and terribly sexy)? 😍😉 I think we would all need a hero like him that always finds a way to make us smile and feel better 😉! And I hope this makes up for the cringy make-out with Fergus in last chapter! 😉
Let me know what you think of this chapter, and vote ⭐ if you liked it! 😉❤ You know how much I love to get notifs from my little rays of sunshine! 🌞😘