y'all ... a bitch is getting sick i believe 😭.
Beyoncé | August 3rd
Manhattan , New York
"Come in."
I walked in the house behind Nicki, my eyes down on her ass.
After everything with Seven, she came back, got her shit, and left all over again. Nicki sent me some screenshots telling me that she'd ran off with that white boy. Technically we couldn't do shit 'cause she's 18. I'm sure she didn't wanna speak to me again after she beat my ass. So I was good with whatever. As long as she stayed away from me.
Nicki though? I didn't want her to stay away from me but she did anyway. I stopped having sex with Kiyanne out of respect for her or maybe just to get her to speak to me; she wouldn't. I wanted my dick between her legs, shit even to just be in be in her bed. But she stood on her word and she was done with me. It killed my ego.
Until earlier today. She texted my phone telling me to come over. She never explained why, she just told me to come over. I jumped instantaneously.
I followed her up to her room, I just wanted to take her out of this tiny black dress I knew she had on under that robe. It wasn't fair. I knew she wasn't gonna let me.
In her room, plenty of candles framed it and they all smelled of that Vanilla Snowflake scent from Bath & Body Works. It was my favorite.
"I'm proud of you for getting into Howard." She spoke then sat down on the bed, slowly pulling the robe off. Immediately her breasts caught my eye.
"It was all thanks to that letter you wrote me."
"You sell yourself too short." She put the robe on the chair next to her vanity. "I think you got in because of your application letter."
"Why do you think so?"
"Because I withdrew my letter."
My eyes widened. "Why the fuck would you do that?!"
"You got in didn't you? You didn't think you were even smart enough without the letter, everybody knew you would get in but yourself. Again, selling yourself short."
I scoffed. "Now what if I didn't get in because you withdrew that fucking letter."
"But you got in, didn't you? Regardless of what I'd done, you were going to get in because you are smart."
I sighed then sat on the bed next to her.
"You are so smart Beyoncé, you may not be smart in the streets and that may get you killed one day but this school shit? It's yours. Take it to the moon."
I didn't know why she was being so goddamn nice to me. Earlier in the summer, she'd hated me, it seemed like.
"What's the catch here? What, you want me to fuck you like I hate you or something? Is that what it is?"
"Fuck me, yes. Like you hate me? No. I know you'll soon be leaving for Howard and my access to you will cease. One more time but we're letting this flow. No anger, it's just us."
Just her saying those words and her looking into my eyes made me fall under her spell all over again. Was my mama right?
I pressed my lips against hers, my hands lightly around her neck. She scooted in closer, unbuckling my belt. I took it off for her, feeling her smirk against my lips. I kicked my shoes off so that my pants could come after. When I stood up, she pulled me back down with her forehead on mine.
"Relax. Don't rush." We both stood up and she grabbed the bottom of my shirt, pulling it off of me. I was only in my underwear now.
"I missed you Nicki." I admitted.
"I missed you too."
Our lips crashed again, I reached around her to unzip her dress. Her body was so warm up against mine, I'd never felt her like this. Every time our lips touched tonight, it was passionate. I could feel her in every form.
She stepped out of her dress showing me that she didn't have a bra or panties on. My mouth salivated over her. She was gorgeous, honestly always has been, to me at least.
I sat down on the bed, letting her straddle me. My lips immediately went to suck on her breasts. I swirled my tongue around her nipple, hearing her moan as she grinded on my lap. Her fingers passed through my hair. She felt amazing right here and I wasn't even inside her yet. There's got to me like a meaning or something to this.
I held her up with my hand on the small of her back, pushing her into me more. I switched nipples, using my other hand to yank her head back. More moans seeped through her lips.
She reached down and lifted her body up to pull my underwear down. I kicked them off, groaning when she sat back down. I ran kisses and hickeys down her stomach and in between her breasts.
There was something about this that felt so good. It wasn't like the usual sex we had. I didn't have myself stuffed inside her with no remorse, I wasn't fucking her until tears fell, we were just here and it felt good.
I felt her slide herself down on me, I stuffed my face in her neck once I was all the way inside. She rocked, I could feel her wetness on my thighs.
"Shit." I bit down on her skin, making her squeal. She held the side of my neck, forcing me to pull away. We stared each other in the eyes as we fucked each other. It felt like she was mine. It felt like our situation wasn't so fucked up.
She started to speed up, alternating between hopping and grinding while still staring me in my eyes. I bit my lip, looking down to see my dick disappearing repeatedly.
"Look at me." She moaned. I looked back up at her, feeling her go faster.
I placed my hands on her hips trying to slow her down. I was going to nut if she doesn't. The look in her eyes showed me she wasn't even worried about that. I grabbed her ass, digging my nails into her, forcing her to slow down once her body started to shake. I pulled her off of me, smacking my dick against her clit.
"Fuck." Her mouth hung open as she watched. She held onto my hair, letting out every moan she could. I came on her stomach but I kept going, even with my groans and grunts. She gripped my hair even tighter, gasping. I saw her creaming.
I let her catch her breath and flipped her over onto the bed. She crawled up to the headboard, laying on her back. She looked so good. I crawled between her legs, she wrapped them around me and placed her hands on my face, pulling me into a kiss.
"I love you Beyoncé."
I never stopped. I knew I'd slipped up and said it a time or 2 but is that what this feeling is? This vulnerability between us? Did I love this woman?
"Beyoncé are you not taking this?!" My mom yelled, when she came from upstairs, she had my piggy stuffed animal waving around in the air.
"Ma I'm not taking that, no."
"Yes you aaaare!" Solange took it from my mom then walked downstairs to hand it to me. "I got it for you, remember?"
"Yes I do. Do you want me to take it? I can tell all my college friends about my beautiful baby sister who's gonna be a dancer/chef/translator when she grows up."
"It sounds like you want to take it to me." She smiled.
"I do, I wanna show everybody. 'Cause one day your big sister's gonna be an alumni and if you decide you want to go to Howard, I'll be well connected by then."
I still couldn't believe Nicki snatched her letter away from me like that. I wasn't grateful, I felt a bit betrayed honestly. Because if I didn't get in then that shit was on her. Just thinking about it was pissing me off.
Everything that happened a few months ago got my ass beat twice. Once by Seven, twice by my mom for disobeying. When I say my mother tore me the fuck up, I mean she whooped my ass until my ass was raw and I couldn't even cry anymore. Like I really did not expect her to beat me like that. Broke my goddamn heart.
Diamonté walked in the house with Miles behind her. I knew they'd just come from her house 'cause this nigga had on a fucking sweater vest.
I laughed, standing up. "Boy what the fuck you got on?"
"Your best friend is forcing me to wear it 'cause her mom still thinks I'm gay."
"Please tell yo mama that this man is not gay."
"No 'cause then he can't come over no more."
"So what y'all be doing when she comes in your room?"
"Talk about niggas. You know, real gay boy shit." He stuck his tongue out of his mouth. "Ah!"
"You sure you ain't gay for real bruh?"
"I promise you he's not gay, the way he be fu-"
"Okay Diamonté!" My mom yelled. "Solange go upstairs please. Go see if Bey has anything else that she needs to be taking with her."
Solange nodded her head and ran up the stairs into my room.
"I hope you're know we're coming with you to Washington."
"We're driving?" I asked.
"It's only a 3 hour drive girl, you'll be fine."
So we got on the road. I'd be lying if I said I didn't sleep through the entire ride because that's exactly what I did. I would miss my people but we're here now and I wasn't letting up on the opportunity to go to Howard. That's a dead mission.
"Bitch you can wake your stupid ass up now, we're here." Diamonté smacked my head when she got out of the car.
I rubbed my eyes, seeing all of 3 of them were out of the car. Solange was recording, of course. She wanted this to be such an experience for us all. She said she would record hers when she went as well and when our children go, we'll record, and so on and so forth.
I got out of the car, stretching. Seeing this entire thing made me so euphoric. I didn't know what it was about it but the truth was, this place seemed like home now. I assumed this is what my mom felt like when she got here, what Solange would feel like when she does. Shit.
Once I figured out where my dorm was and who I was sharing with, I had them bring my things in. I didn't lift a finger.
"You have too much shit to have a roommate." Di slammed the box down onto the floor. I flipped her off from the bed.
My roommate's things were already set up in the room but she was nowhere to be found. Not that I'm complaining about that because I'm not, just how? Probably in the 3 hours we took to drive up here, she was setting her things up.
Nonetheless, I felt like this would be good for me. College would open new doors. I'm putting everything else behind me.
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no this is not the end yall 💀💀💀