I wake up, feeling well rested and happier than I have in years. Joslyn's head is resting on my chest, her dark hair splayed behind her as she breathes deep and evenly, her sheets twisted around our entangled bodies.
The sun is just starting to break through the sky, peeking through the curtains and spilling across her back to make her tan skin look golden. I lazily glide my fingertips up and down her soft, smooth, sleep warmed skin, loving the feeling. Her dark lashes flutter against her rosy cheeks as she begins to stir beneath my fingers, and she snuggles closer to me.
Eventually her stunning hazel eyes slowly open, catching the light just right to make the emerald green flecks shine against the gold concentrated around the pupil. She tilts her head up to look at me, and the corners of her lips turn up in a sleepy smile.
"Hi, beautiful," I murmur, my voice still husky from sleep.
She blushes, shying away from my gaze by burying her face in the crook of my neck. "Hi," she squeaks out adorably, making me chuckle.
I kiss the side of her head and brush some hair off her shoulder, trailing my hand down her back and around her thigh that's hooked over my middle. I rest my hand just above her knee, gently massaging. "How do you feel?"
She pulls her thigh from my grip, rolling over onto her back to stretch. "Good," she replies while trying to stifle a yawn.
I roll onto my side, propping my head up with my hand. "I guess so, you're still here this time," I tease, but I instantly regret my joke the moment her face falls and remorse washes over her features. "No, baby. No, no, no. Shit. I'm sorry. That was an awful, awful joke," I admit, reaching out for her and hooking my arm around her waist. I pull her body across the few inches of space separating us, placing soft kisses all over her face.
"It's ok. I'm sorry," she says, trying to hide her wounded tone.
I shake my head, placing a soft kiss to her lips. "Don't be sorry. I made a really bad joke I didn't mean. I'm sorry, baby. I understand now what happened, and I don't blame you," I assure her, but she still refuses to meet my gaze.
My heart hurts for her, and I realize just how much of an asshole I was to her these last few months when trying to demand the truth from her. And the hurt in her eyes when she told me the truth at the awards show in front of Chris, and I essentially called her a liar...
I touch my hand to her cheek, leaning in to brush my nose against hers. "I love you."
Her features soften, and finally those big hazel eyes meet mine. "I love you, too."
I place my lips on hers, exchanging slow, sweet, lazy morning kisses. My lips trail to her cheek, down her jaw, to her neck, and across her shoulder. "This is new," I comment, brushing my fingertips along the side of her ribs, tracing the black ink etched into her skin. I saw it last night, the long stemmed rose tattoo running vertically down her side, something she must have gotten in the last year or two.
"Oh, yeah," she says, slightly surprised, and her cheeks tint a light shade of pink. "It was a mid-mid-life crisis thing, I guess."
"I like it. It's very Joslyn," I comment with a grin, still tracing the black outlines. Whenever I trace over a particular part of the stem, I notice her skin twitch beneath my fingers. "Is someone ticklish?" I tease.
"No," she shoots back defensively.
"I think you are." I grin devilishly, purposefully lightly dragging the pad of my finger over that particular spot, making her shudder.
"Alex," she warns before letting out a shriek as I dig my fingers into her skin, tickling her sides. "Stop!" she laughs, trying to take hold of my relentless hands.
"What was that? I can't hear you," I torment, loving the sound of her laugh.
She manages to roll on top of me, straddling my torso. Eventually, I give in and let her pin my hands to the pillow on each side of my head as she struggles to regain her breath. "I hate you," she mutters between pants.
"No you don't," I retort confidently with a smirk, leaning up to quickly peck her lips before flopping back down onto the mattress.
She stares down at me for a moment, her eyes growing soft and tender, looking at me adoringly.
"What?" I whisper, and a small, heartfelt smile touches her lips.
She reaches up to cup my cheek in her hand, the pad of her thumb stroking under my eye. "You look different. A good different. Your eyes... they're bluer. I don't know, they seem to have a bit of a sparkle back in them."
"Yeah?"
She nods, causing some more of her dark, slightly teased hair to spill over her shoulders.
"Because I'm happy," I state, causing a joyous grin to spread across her face. I release my other hand from her grip, running both hands up and down her thighs. "So, anymore tattoos I should know about?"
She rolls her eyes, trying to hold back a smile. "I think you would have found them by now."
"Hmm," I muse, sliding my hands up to grip her hips. "Never hurts to double check." In one fluid motion, I manage to flip us, her back pressing into the mattress while I settle between her legs, resting most of my weight in my arms. "Now, where should I start?"
An hour later, Joslyn is back fast asleep in my arms, her back pressed to my front as I play with a strand of her hair. I can't help but stare at her beautiful, sweet, peaceful face, not believing I have her back in my arms. Something I thought I'd never have happen again.
In this moment it feels like I know what love is all over again, and any lingering resentment I once held for her has dissipated. Last night was a breakthrough for us, and while I still may not fully understand what happened all those years ago, I know I trust her and that I can't ever let her go again.
I realize I never wanted anything more in my life than I wanted Joslyn. Sure, I had the money and the fame to get whatever materialistic things I wanted or catch anyone's attention, but she's the one thing I needed.
In a life full of strict structure amidst chaos, she became my anchor. Even when she started out as my assistant, helping aid in the structure of my life, I could tell she was something special. She was a normal girl that happened to walk into my life and treat me like a normal human being. She wasn't a yes man or someone afraid to talk to me, because she saw me as a person and not as some job or a celebrity. She taught me that I'm not a robot or some show pony that has to be locked up twenty-four-seven and afraid to experience life like a normal person. Deep down I know she actually cared about me, and not just because I was some celebrity or because she was my assistant, being paid to help me out. She cared about me wholeheartedly and completely when no one else seemed to. And that's why it crushed me when she left.
When I found out Joslyn left me in Amsterdam, I was devastated. It literally felt like someone ripped my heart out, and I was completely empty, hollow inside—more so than before she walked into my life. Her leaving me caused a whole new level of emptiness and pain. Before her, I felt like a robot just going through the motions. She was the only person that made me feel alive, like I was something more than my career. And just when I thought things couldn't get better for us, and just when I felt the best I ever had, she up and disappeared without a word. And when Chris told me she left because she didn't love me anymore, and when I showed up at her doorstep, begging, and she didn't answer... I absolutely lost it. After the night we shared and all the moments before that... Nothing made sense.
I was absolutely in love with Joslyn. She was the only girl I ever fell in love with, and when she left and Chris said those things... I felt absolutely worthless. I felt like I lost the only thing that mattered to me, the only person that I thought truly cared about me, which lead me to my downward spiral.
But looking back now, it's all starting to make sense. Days before she left, I could tell something was wrong. She wasn't acting herself. And that just all so happened to start right after I announced our relationship to Chris and my parents—something Joslyn told me not to do because she didn't want anyone knowing about our relationship for some reason.
And then when I asked Chris that morning if he saw Joslyn, he lied to me, not telling me until later that he saw her sneak out early that morning around 4:00 AM. But Chris is never up that early... and he just so happened to catch her leaving at that exact moment?
Suddenly feeling restless, I gently detangle myself from Joslyn and roll out of bed. I find my sweats discarded on her floor and throw them on before going out to the living room.
I always loved Joslyn's apartment, how cozy and homey it is with the rustic décor and family photos scattered about. That's the main reason I let her decorate my first condo, that and the fact that she had a knack for interior design. But it's also the reason why I had to move out of my condo after she left. It was like a stab to the chest every time I walked into my own home, a constant reminder of her and her absence. It didn't feel right living there with her gone.
I flop down onto one of the big, comfy beige couches and kick my feet up onto the coffee table next to Joslyn's laptop. I stare at her laptop, and I can't help but reach for it, opening the lid and turning it on, having an idea. Thankfully her password hasn't changed in the last few years, and I'm able to log in. I instantly open her email, scrolling until I'm back a few years. I know this is an invasion of privacy, but there's something I need to know.
One thing about Joslyn is that she never deletes her emails unless they're absolute junk, just in case she'll ever need something again. There's over 700 read messages in her inbox and 5 unread. I scroll through them, all the receipts, conformation numbers, personal emails, exedra until I'm years back to around the time she left, not finding any sort of flight confirmation email for a flight from Amsterdam to Nashville. Yet I can find all the other flight confirmations she had from when we were on tour.
My heart pounds in my chest, and an emotion I can't quite decipher washes over me. It's not that I don't believe or doubt Joslyn, it's just that I can't believe Chris would do something like that—blackmail Joslyn into leaving without a word when he knew how much she meant to me.
Letting out a groan of frustration, I scrub a hand over my face and then run it through my hair, tugging as anger washes over me.
How could he do this?
Then again, he has been fucking my mother behind my back for who knows how long. And right when my father's dead body hasn't even been in the ground an hour yet?
Chris is my manger, someone I've trusted for years—since I was thirteen years old. He's supposed to look out for me and have my back. I let him in and considered him family all these years, and he does this to me?
Maybe Chris isn't really who I think he is. Maybe I've been blind all these years and he's never really cared for me at all. Maybe it's just my career he's invested in and nothing else.
Riled up, I slam the lid of Joslyn's laptop closed and jump up from the couch to find my phone on the kitchen counter next to the half-eaten pizza from last night. I unlock it, ignoring all the missed calls and text messages—some from Chris himself, along with my mother. Then there are some are from my publicist, and I make a note to talk to her later to try to get something sorted out to make all the lies about Joslyn go away.
Ignoring them all, I find my assistant Daniel's number and dial it, impatiently waiting for him to pick up. "Daniel, I need you to get a plane ready for me and have my car waiting when I touch down in New York," I instruct, hanging up soon after.
I pad back to Joslyn's room, finding her still fast asleep in her bed. Her hair is an unruly mess and her cheeks are a bit puffy with sleep, but she still manages to look beyond gorgeous.
I quickly gather my clothes from the floor and dress, not caring if I'm only in a T-shirt and sweats. I run my hands through my hair a few times and decide to settle on the rough reflection staring back at me through her dresser mirror, not having time to worry about my appearance.
"I'll be back soon, baby," I promise Joslyn, placing a feather light kiss to her bare shoulder, knowing she's a light sleeper. "I'm going to make things right."
Two chapters uploaded in one week?! Who is she? lol
So I went ahead and decided to break this chapter up into two parts, because the more I sat and wrote/edited it the more it made sense to split it up. Plus I'm just a little impatient. lol
Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter and can't wait to see you for the next one! :)