Chapter Three
Scorpio: " someone from the past will make an appearance in your life, but confusion, vagueness, or misrepresentation can occur in your relationships, so beware of making commitments at this time. You're likely to see things much more clearly and realistically later on."
Winter gulped the rest of her cocktail then spluttered into her napkin, coughing until her eyes watered. Her heart was racing at the sight of him again, so unchanged, so unaffected by all that had happened between them in the past. "Are you ok, Winter, do you want a glass of water?" Melody asked solicitously, patting Winter on the back. Regaining her equilibrium, Winter shook her head, afraid to look directly at Melody in case her eyes gave away the feelings in her soul. "I'm ok, I guess I just drank too fast." Winter replied, hoping her voice didn't sound as strangled as it felt. Melody returned her gaze to the stage, her brow furrowed in thought, it seemed like she was beginning to recognise Dan too. Winter stood up and pushed her chair away, "I'm just going to get some fresh air", she explained, hurrying off before Melody could ask what was going on. Outside, on the deck, Winter leant over the railing and gazed into the dark glittering depths of the sea. She let her thoughts spin out like a long satin ribbon, spooling in the brisk breeze. Why? Why now did she have to face reminders of her past? Why did her love for him never fade away? Again memories of their time together haunted her, secrets whispered to each other in the darkness, plans made for their futures, endearments muttered and the feeling that their souls were entwined .Winter took big gulps of air and breathed out slowly. Her knuckles were white from gripping the railings tightly and her heart beat was racing. How could he be here? The last time Winter had heard from him, he was a travel guide in Europe! Winter gritted her teeth and returned to the restaurant, knowing that sooner or later she would have to face him again. Winter took her seat again next to Melody and felt relieved that there was no time to talk as the music had been turned up and the dance floor was filling up.
"C'mon Win, lets have a dance, I want to catch the eye of some young, single gay guy, I'm sure there has to be some on this cruise, although all I've seen at the moment is loved up couples!" Claude dragged her onto the dance floor and started gyrating his hips and waving his arms in the air. Winter reluctantly followed him and after letting go of her inhibitions, she joined in with his flamboyant style. From the corner of her eye, she saw Dan lurking in the shadows, his tiger-like eyes were narrowed jealously, yet his posture was relaxed as he leant against a pillar observing her movements, like a crocodile watching its prey. Winter's skin tingled, knowing that Dan was watching her, so she decided to give him something to worry about, that is if he still had feelings for her after all this time. During a slow song, Winter snuggled up to Claude, hip to hip, and wrapped her arms languorously around Claude's waist. Claude glimpsed the look of determination in her shadowy gaze and reluctantly played along, but Winter knew he would be expecting a lengthy explanation. Dan moved away from the pillar, and sauntered in her direction, at that time Winter felt her heel slide across the floor and she lost her grip on Claude, and ended up flat on her back on the dance floor. The lights illuminated her on the floor while the music remained as a throbbing heartbeat in the background. Groggily Winter sat up, parts of her chignon had come loose, so tendrils of ice-blonde hair haloed around her flushed face. Claude reached forward, his hands outstretched to help her up but Dan stepped in first, and pulled her up so quickly and with so much force that she fell against his warm, wide chest. "Winter, how I've missed you", he murmured with his lips up against her ear. Winter's heart was beating so loudly she wasn't sure if she had imagined the soft words he spoke. A crowd had started to gather around them, and as if realising that he was jeopardising his professionalism by holding her in his arms, he pushed her away from him "I'll let your husband take care of you, I'm sure you'd rather be in his arms!" His expression was stony as he stormed away. Winter was left standing on her own until Claude approached. "Are you ok, do you want me to walk you back to your cabin? "Who was he? He is delectable!! I loved those legs in the shorts", Claude asked, his words rushing into one another.
"I'm ok, Claude, I don't want to run and hide in my cabin, I want to stay and pretend nothing happened. That man in the shorts is not gay, but you are welcome to him, he is no use to me!" "Come and get a drink with me" , Winter linked arms with Claude as they approached the bar. Winter needed something strong to clam her racing heart, and to stop her legs from shaking. Dan still managed to reduce her to a quivering mess! She closed her eyes and visualised his tawny eyes. They were the colour of honey with flecks of green and gold, but it was not just the colour that made them so arresting, it was what his eyes said when they spoke to her, the messages from his soul -and she knew without doubt, that he still had feelings for her too. Yet why had he not made contact with her in all this time? He knew where she lived and worked, he was the one who had disappeared! His actions belied the emotion in his eyes, Winter had no idea as to which of those she should believe- if the love he felt for her shone from his soul, why did his actions seem so contradictory? How did he think Claude was her husband! He was much too flamboyant for her taste! The rest of the evening passed without drama, the dance floor remained packed with late night revellers. Winter drank too much champagne in order to try and forget the way Dan's chest felt when he pulled her close, so the following morning she awoke feeling groggy and tired as well as heart-sore. The only thing Winter could face the next morning was a strong cappuccino. Afterwards, she enjoyed the rest of the late morning out on her balcony, typing up her notes for possible articles. She really wanted to have a shore visit so she could explore the islands of their first port, Le Petite Iile, and Noumea, the capital of New Calendonia. They would be arriving in port later in the afternoon, so Winter had the whole morning ahead of her to relax and try to plan what she could write. There was no eco-tourist angle at the moment for an article, perhaps she could interview some of the crew and maybe some tourists to get different perspectives in her article. Winter typed up her notes on the amenities and facilities onboard the yacht, but found her thoughts wandering back to the chance meeting with Dan. Why now after all the time apart did he have to re-enter her life? What should she make of the encounter? Did he still have feelings for her? What was he doing on board this ship? After several typing mistakes Winter decided that her mind wasn't on the task, so she logged off her laptop stood up and stretched. She made herself another coffee and read through the glossy brochures and daily news bulletin, detailing the options for her shore excursions, of which there were many for Le Petite Isle, a relatively small island, officially part of the Loyalty Islands. It had been discovered by the French, similar to New Calendonia where they were to dock first. Winter had read the daily bulletin and booked in for the afternoon session to travel on a coach to see the Botanical gardens. After a brief discussion with her entourage as to how they were going to handle the shore excursion, Winter wanted to get away by herself to do a shopping trip first through the main street of Place des Cocotiers. Maybe travelling back on the mini train, Le Petit Train. Winter packed a few essential items into her tote bag, put on a pair of dark sunglasses as a disguise, threw a light woollen cardigan over her shoulders and left her cabin, determined to forget the glint of passion in Dan's eyes, when he'd looked at her....
Meanwhile, Dan was pacing across the luxurious carpet in his cabin. As the activities co-ordinator he should be ready to meet the passengers who were not disembarking for the shore activities, or taking a group of passengers on a tour of the sites on the island, but his thoughts were like autumn leaves, drifting and floating around in his head. Winter's image seemed to be ingrained in his mind, everywhere he looked he saw her opalescent eyes or her sultry mouth. During the year they had been apart he never entirely forgot her. He had brief flings with a women he had met in bars, or through his work, but they had palled after several weeks. His current relationship was already to starting to lose it's shine as he came to terms with the fact that Winter was in his heart and a part of his soul, he knew without a doubt, that he would do anything to get her back. Even if she had come onto this cruise with her husband, he was hopeful she would be leaving it with him. In a frenzy of determination, he hurried to see the Captain, and spoke to him briefly of his plans, so he could organise time alone from his tour groups in order to find Winter and hopefully tell her how he felt.
Stepping down off the gangplank, and onto the jetty, Winter breathed in a lungful of the fishy, sea air, which was reminiscent of Tasmania. Glancing at her surroundings, she noticed how the porcelain blue sky contrasted with the spindly trunked palm trees, their fronds waving in the breeze, like the welcoming hands of the locals. The ocean sparkled with reflections from the sun and the waves lapped gently along the pristine sand, sounding like thousands of hands applauding. Most of the buildings Winter could see around her, were colonial in style, juxtaposed and jostling with the high-rise buildings which seemed incongruous against the backdrop of paradise.
Winter felt relieved to be temporarily alone from the hectic schedule of her writing and the continual pendulum motion of the ship.
As she walked along the wooden jetty towards the shore, she noticed that the locals had constructed an archway at the end of the jetty, made from boughs of bougainvillea and hibiscus flowers. As the passengers walked underneath they were adorned with hibiscus leis, as a welcome to the island. Stalls of handmade goods and local fruit and popular souvenirs were set up along the foreshore and smiling children were running around or hiding in their mother's sarongs. Winter haggled with the women selling sarongs in brilliant hues mirroring the colours of the sea and sky. She purchased two sarongs and several other small gifts which were easy to carry, then, consulting her guide book for directions she headed off towards the French-inspired specialty shops and the duty free shops along the main street of Noumea, Place des Cocotiers then into rue J Jaures. The French names were confusing and for once she wished she had paid more attention in her high school French lessons. The morning passed quickly as Winter delved into various shops and then stopped for a specially made New Caledonian cappuccino and a croissant in a traditional Boulangerie, listening to the mixture of voices and watching the local people drift in and out. Afterwards, she caught Le Petit Train in order to explore more of the city sights. As the train chugged slowly through the streets, Winter had time to think about her past and the difficult year she'd experienced. It had made her stronger as a person in her ability to endure hardships and now she knew that whatever fate decided to throw at her she could deal with. It could not be worse than the death of her dear father and being dumped by her fianc\u00e9e at the alter! Romance and true love were no longer important to her entire existence, she had decided to be alone and find her own passions in life. Men and romance only complicated things! Winter sighed with relief, knowing she had finally made the decision to cope on her own and not try to search for the notion of love. Winter sat back in her seat and glanced at the city sights. Today was for relaxing, her article could wait. Fifteen minutes later and clutching her packages, she disembarked with the other passengers and made her way to the beach so she could swim and sunbake for a while before her tour met up later in the afternoon. The beach looked like a postcard, with sand so white it hurt her eyes, and the glittering sea in shades of aqua and turquoise. Winter settled herself and packages on the sand then pulled off the t-shirt and shorts she wore to reveal her black bikini. After lying in the sun she sauntered to the edge of the water and dove in. The water felt like silk on her body yet was pleasant enough to cool her down. She emerged from the ocean, dripping water and wringing out her hair. As she was walking back to where she had left her stuff on the sand she heard a familiar voice using her nickname....only one person in her life called her Winnie...it must be Dan!.Startled she turned around to face the voice, her heart beating rapidly and her breathing became shallow. She swallowed, not trusting herself to speak. "Dan, hi, what are you doing here?" she stuttered, feeling awkward in her near-nudity. "I couldn't keep away from you Winnie, no matter how hard I have tried. I know your husband isn't here with you now and I know you have booked onto the tour to see the Botanical Gardens and thought I'd try to find you to ask if you would forgive my behaviour from the other night and if you wanted to come with me instead, I can give you a much more detailed tour", his eyes glittered cheekily.
"I don't know what to say Dan, and I haven't got a husband, I don't know what you are talking about. I have moved on with my life after you just vanished, I don't even know if we can even be friends! I need to have time to think about running into you again..." Winter stepped back, trying to put physical distance between them, even though she felt an invisible thread winding around her and drawing her closer to him. Her attraction to him was still strong, like an addict recovering from an addiction.
"I understand Win, it's been a long time, but I think we can still be friends. Anyway you can't go anywhere dressed, or undressed like that! I'll give you a chance to get dressed then you will be joining me for a tour of the hinterland you'll never forget!"
"But Dan, I don't think it would be a good idea if we spend time alone together! We hardly know each other anymore!" Winter knew this was untrue, Dan had her heart and soul already, he would always know exactly who she was and what she liked or disliked, as she would for him. Just because a lover was out of your life, it didn't mean that you stopped loving them or knowing them. She still bought Dan's favourite toothpaste every time she shopped even though other brands were cheaper or just as good. It was like losing a body part, although the limb was missing, the stump still felt the same sensations.
"Exactly my point Win, I think we need to make up for lost time, and if we can end up as friends that would be great". He reached out and held her wrist, trying to draw her closer to him. She shivered at the passion and apology that reflected in the gold and brown flecks in his eyes. She didn't pull her wrist away because it felt so good to feel the warmth of his strong, lean fingers wrapped around her wrist, but she hoped he couldn't feel her erratic pulse, revealing her true feelings.
"No Dan, I can't do this, I can't do this to myself, I need to forget about you and all that stuff from my past, I need to have a fresh start." Winter's eyes turned cloudy, like a summer storm about to erupt, but Dan knew her emotions and wasn't prepared to give her up so easily this time.
"I think we have to deal with our past mistakes too so we can move on, all I'm asking is that we spend the afternoon together for old times' sake, and if you decide then that you truly hate me, I will stay out of your life forever. Do we have a deal?" His voice was husky and she detected a hint of desperation so reluctantly she nodded, "Ok, just the afternoon, but give me ten minutes to get ready and then I'll meet you on the esplanade." It ended up taking Winter longer than ten minutes as she hadn't brought along a towel to dry herself off and it was hard to pull on clothes with skin still damp, and her breathing constricted and her ears buzzing. She had to calm down! Why had she agreed to this idea of spending an entire afternoon with him? She couldn't even breathe properly thinking about him being so close to her! Just as she had made her peace with her past and not needing to find love, Dan had unleashed all her pent up emotions again!
Juggling her packages, and trying to still walk elegantly, Winter strolled up to Dan who was now wearing aviator sunglasses and leaning against the brick wall. She would have to use this afternoon's excursion as a test that she was truly over him. "Ready?" He asked, taking the packages from her and carrying them easily as she walked next to him. "I have the car waiting here for us, I hope you have your camera, there is so much beautiful scenery in the hinterland". Winter nodded eagerly and got in beside him in the car. Most of the journey was spent with neither of them speaking and frequent stops so Winter could get out and photograph the stunning views of sea and sky then of forests and hidden waterfalls. They slipped easily into their usual camaraderie, even though Winter was trying so hard to keep distance between them. Maybe there was no harm in being friends again after all the time they had been together in the past and then Winter would be able to keep her promise to herself not to get involved or fall in love again. Animosity was a waste of energy. Smiling to herself, she glanced over at Dan, his expression still inscrutable under his sunglasses. He caught her watching him and grinned back at her, "Knew you couldn't help yourself, you can't go on hating me forever! We made a good team once, if you remember."
"I remember, but I think we can make a better team as friends" she replied, hoping he couldn't see through her lie. She was trying hard to play along with his notion of only being friends, and she was struggling to keep her emotions under control, to be cool with how things stood. But in reality she realised how much more she wanted, how she wanted him back in life now as the lover he had been and the husband she wanted.
Dan sighed, he was hoping to have convinced her that they could pick up from where they left off, but it seemed she wanted to keep things between them platonic. He sighed again, maybe he would have to play along with her for now until he could come up with another plan to woo her back into his life in a more permanent way. Either that or he could raise the bar higher and with a lot of romantic scenery, a little more charm and a nudge from old cupid, maybe they could have a chance to get back together they way they had been before.....