I was standing next to Marshall at the bar, waiting for him to get our drinks as I looked over the club.
First I could see my usual entourage of people in our area, my manager Audrey, my stylist Emma, my make-up artist Jess and a few other people that normally join me for concerts and tours.
My mother also usually attended but after she complained about Marshall being disrespectful and embarrassing her in front of all of Nashville, she refused to attend if he was, then she tried to make me force him to go home so she could attend.
As you can see, she didn't win that battle.
So for the first time in my life, I'm at an after-party without the burden of my mother whispering things in my ear about looking undesirable.
Instead, I had satan himself accompanying and entertaining me, in the form of Marshall Mathers whispering in my ear, telling me dirty jokes and making fun if the industry people around us.
And I enjoyed every minute of it.
He had a different view of fame and being a celebrity... He hated it.
Since he sobered up he no longer saw the world of fame through rose-colored glasses, he realized that if he kept trying to please everyone, it would kill him.
I admired him for that.
To learn your true self-worth and learn to say no to everything.
I hope that one day I get to experience that-
"Harley Quinn" I hear Marshall's voice as I zone back in turning to look at him, he was handing me a red bull.
He then slung his arm over my shoulder and led me back over to the area where my entourage was.
"You two are the cutest, I can't believe how you kept it hidden so long" Emma smiled "Must have been super difficult to hide it?"
"We do make a hot couple if I do say so myself" Marshall shrugged, "Not really, I was on a break from touring and shit so it was kinda easier to fly back and forth between us"
Marshall then pulling me in for a hungry kiss, slipping his tongue into my mouth, I could taste the sweet taste of Red Bull.
"Well, we definitely see a change since you guys have been public and you're living together, a positive change, also I see less Annalise... Which is great" Jess said with a kind smile "The PDA is also refreshing, all Harley's ex's seemed so fake and forced, you two are just.. like fluid"
Marshall chuckled and sat down and pulled me onto his lap, I could feel his breath on the back of my neck which made my hairs stand up and my skin prickle, his hand rested on my thigh where he started to circle his fingers on the fabric of my skirt, sending zaps of electricity through my body.
My mind turned int absolute mush, I couldn't even focus on what Jess and Emma were saying to me anymore, I got lost in being so close to his hard body, feeling his muscles through the fabric of his t-shirt against my bare back.
And his scent was very distracting.
It didn't help that I haven't had sex for a year, not that it bothered me before, with the recovery and all, which was helpful because they tell you to avoid sexual activity for the time, but suddenly it was like my sex drive decided to rear her thirsty head again.
Now of all times.
------
"There's Dolly" I whisper yelled to Marshall.
He looked in the direction of my gesture and looked back at me confused brow knitting"What you telling me for?"
"She's my idol" I rolled my eyes "She's country music's Run DMC"
"Got you, well what you still sittin' here for? Go"
I smiled at him and got up, walking over to Dolly timed perfectly, the current person talking to her has moved on.
"Dolly? Hi, My name's Harleen Aldridge, I'm a huge fan" I said as she turned her attention to me giving me a wide smile.
"Oh Darlin' I know who you are don't you worry, it's an honor to finally meet you too, you did an amazing covering Jolene, I saw that eye candy of yours, congratulations on that catch of a man" She said with a wink.
I look toward Marshall who was in a very animated conversation with someone.
"Oh yes, he is indeed"
"I hear a lot of things Darlin', about almost everyone, but just do what you want and enjoy that man, no matter what the world thinks, you hear? You've been in country music long enough to have that right to be happy"
I thought for a moment.
She made absolute sense, somehow I was still focused on everyone around me, and what the label wanted.
It was time I got more adventurous before I got too old.
I had wasted so much time and energy pleasing people that it caused my unhappiness and resulted in becoming an alcoholic just to deal with the stress, it started because I had no control of my own life.
But even now I'm sober and still don't have control.
The biggest obstacle was my mother, once I learned how to deal with her, everything else would follow.
Someone had come to get Dolly, so she apologized and politely excused herself and I headed back to Marshall.
I stood looking around the room, realizing how much more pleasant my life had been up until this morning when my mother managed to get me alone.
I could do this, it would take time but so was sure I could somehow get control of my life again.
A hand on my waist brushing my exposed skin bought me out of my thoughts, looking up I see Marshall looking at me as he continued to talk.
"You all good?"
I swear on the sweet baby Jesus himself, if Marshall kept touching me, I was going to self combust.
I nodded at him "Was just thinkin'"
He went to say something when we were interrupted by the photographer asking if we would have our picture taken because of the event.
I looked at Audrey and she nodded.
"Sure, why not" I said smiling at the cameraman, who then continued to ask us to pose.
When suddenly Marshall's lips were on mine again, unlike his last kisses this one felt hot fiery, passionate and demanding.
That's when I knew I was absolutely slowly slipping into a state of sexually deprived delirium, I want to pull myself away before I lose myself completely, but I can't seem to stop myself.
When he pulled back, we no longer had an audience and the photographer had moved on.
"Harley..." he whispered, face still inches from mine, voice husky, prolonging each letter as if to savor them, staring at me with that dangerously charming smirk.
My heart fluttering at his voice as I'm brought back to reality.
I think I'm about to have a relapse, and it wasn't going to be the whiskey.