The time away from the house almost seemed like a blur. It seemed like it was all a dream or distant memory and we just left the hotel this morning.
If it was all a dream, it would mean I wasn't pregnant.
The word has been spinning around in my head since I've found out and it's taking everything in me to act like it isn't bothering me.
I'm pregnant with Dashawn's baby.
I am going to be a mother..
Dash hasn't said much about the entire thing and I can't tell if it's because he knows I'm feeling a bit stressed about it or if he didn't even know how to process it himself.
We've been through a lot and thinking about everything we've been through before and during our relationship has been everyone else's fault but our own and we've handled them.
Our relationship was solid.
A baby would be a cake walk compared to the crazy things we've dealt with and we can completely handle it...together.
Dash and I were about 5 minutes away from the house and I was already dreading being back and tempted to tell him to just drive past and keep going.
I rested a hand on his leg and gave it a tight squeeze. "So.. we agree we aren't going to tell anyone we're expecting right?"
"Tell anyone what?" Dash questions with a raised brow.
"That we're expecting."
He purses his lips together and taps at the steering wheel. "Yeah, we don't have to tell anyone you're pregnant."
"I just feel like with Ebony giving birth and KJ opening night for the club , I don't want to take away anyone's spot light, you know?"
Dash took hold of my hand that was on his lip and intertwined our fingers.
"You're fine ma, We can tell them whenever you ready but I better not fucking catch your ass drinking , around any smoke and you have the list of the right shit you need to eat."
"Whatever you say daddy." I couldn't help but giggle. Loving when he raised his voice at me and loving it even more he seemed to care so much about the baby.
About his baby.
"Daddy." Dash repeated. "That's exactly how that baby got in you in the first place."
"If you call him daddy!" I sang as I began to move my body in my seat. "I know he getting in the panties ! Go -"
As I was about to continue singing, I was interrupted by Pop Smoke.
I huffed as I was blocked from singing and Dash laughed obviously satisfied with himself.
As we pulled up back to the house. My mom was in the front yard kneeled down in the grass while Aunt Toya stood over her holding a few pots.
"The love birds are back!" Aunt Toya shouted as we exited the car.
"Did you guys enjoy it ?" Mom held out her hand for Aunt Toya to help her to her feet. "You know I suggested the hotel, I knew it had to be the best for my ooujie baby."
"Boujie? I'm not boujie."
"Says the girl who can't wear fake jewelry." Aunt Toya chimes in.
"That's cause my skin has a reaction to it and bubbles up !"
"Even your skin boujie baby damn." Dash adds causing Aunt Toya and mom to laugh.
"Aye!"
The front door swung open and KJ came storming out.
"Where y'all been at?" He walked out with Ebony on his tail and Brianna stepping out holding the baby Kairo.
"You two really left me here with Bri, KJ and a baby? You two are selfish motherfuckers." Ebony rushed over and gave us a playful shove. "I haven't gotten any sleep, Kairo was a perfect angel... Brianna on the other hand ? She's the reason I look like I got punched in the face."
"What?" Brianna says lowly as she rocked the baby. "I get fussy at night."
The seven of us stood out on the lawn for awhile talking and laughing. Almost instantly making me regret my prior thought.
Yes, my family and friends were a pain in my fucking ass and probably the reason why I have more gray hair than I should have for my age but I love them.
It felt kind of awkward sitting around them and not telling them I was pregnant.
I knew for a fact aunt Toya would absolutely lose her shit if she knew and Brianna would probably be upset she's being stamped out by another baby.
"Y'all ready for tonight?" KJ questions as we settled back in to the house.
"What's tonight?" I asked with a raised brow.
"Opening up the club a little early.. we got mad people on Twitter trying to come through and I got everything covered. Someone for the door and someone for the back." KJ nodded while he rubbed his hands together almost giving me hints of Stevie-J vibes.
"The back ? Why would you need someone at the back?"
KJ shuffles and turned his attention to Kairo who was now sleeping on Dash's chest as he sat back on the couch. "That-"
"That nothing, what the fuck is there someone at the back for?"
"To move product... look! I know I said I wanted to phase that out but we need a little something helping to keep us a float until the club takes off and our music careers' "
I bit at my lip, I had a lot to say but I didn't want to waste my energy or stress myself out.
Keeping in mind what Dash said before we left, everyone in this house is grown and can look out for themselves.
"Alright." I said simply with a shrug. "Do you."
"Psstt...." Bri whispered as her head popped in from the kitchen. "Psstt!! KJ it isn't alright .... don't do you ! I fucking repeat do. Not. Do. You."
"No really..." I smiled. "It's fine."
"It isn't fine." Brianna chimed in.
"It's your club.. your business."
"It isn't your club at all, we all know that ." Bri added again. "You a dumb bitch if you think it's okay."
"You have one time..."
I trailed off before making eye contact with Dash.
"Relax baby.." he mouthed.
I nodded and slumped back in to the couch.
"I'm glad we talked this out... that was easy ." KJ clasped his hands together before standing up.
"You get dumber every day don't you?" Brianna shakes her head and walks back off in to the kitchen .
"Yo D, You want to ride with me down there to make sure everyone good? Dancers there right now and I think they getting the bar set ."
Dash nodded handing baby Kairo off to Ebony who was balancing between sleep and being awake.
She really did look bad, tired.
"Aht!" I stood up and scooped the baby out of Ebony's hands and gave him to KJ. "Ebony and I will go check while you and Dash watch Kairo and Brianna."
"Fuck you!" Bri shouted
"What ? No I got it" he shuffles a bit trying to hand Kairo back. Ignoring him, I took the keys off the table and Ebony by the hand dragging her outside.
"Get a handle on your girl." KJ says.
"Don't do that."
It was all I could hear Dash say before the door closed behind us.
As quickly as I was placed in nothing but complete relaxation , I was back in the mix of everyone else's life and it seemed like it was something that I just did to myself.
As we drove Ebony had her head rested against the window with her eyes partially closed and her hand rubbing small circles on her stomach.
"Pregnant again?" I questioned jokingly.
"Ha ha... never a fucking gain am I having a baby at least not with KJ." Ebony stopped herself as if she had more to say about my brother. "No offense."
"Yeah.... I'm guessing he isn't really stepping up to the daddy plate?" I looked over at her quickly before directing my attention back to the road.
"No... he's trying." She sighs. "He truly is but Kairo just does not like him."
"Almost like he knows his daddy aint shit." I couldn't help but laugh at my comment.
"That was probably the most Brianna thing you've ever said." Ebony laughed before continuing. "He just doesn't want anyone else but his mommy and that's fine but mommy needs sleep... it's only been a few days and I don't think I can do this."
"You can do this baby." I rested a hand on her thigh and gave it a tight squeeze. "You just got to get him on a sleeping schedule... babies should be taking about three naps a day ? And when he's sleeping that's when you eat, sleep or fuck pick your poison but trust me you can do this."
"On top of that ! Ever since Kairo was born that's all KJ wants to do I mean it's just session after session car sex, sex in the kitchen, sex in the garage and sex on the lawn, sex-"
"Bitch are you reading a Dr. Seuss book? That is enough just ew!" I stopped the truck right out front of the club. "I get it.. just express how you feel more to him okay ? I dunno." I took a moment to take in my surroundings about to step out the car until something in the side mirror caught my attention.
A familiar truck was heading in the other direction.
I got a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach but my attention again was completely turned away from it when a loud knock at the window and a few excited 'hello's' distracted me.
"Hi!"
It was Abigail.
Ebony rolled the window down and greeted the excited girl with a faint smile. "Hey girl.. you look great."
I nodded in agreement. She was wearing a trench coat but her makeup was done up nicely and her hair was even curled.
She had put in a lot of work for her first night of work.
"You really do look amazing." I chimed in.
"It means the world coming front of ladies especially you Kimani." Abigail winked at us. "I can't wait for tonight ! I'm excited !" She jumped around a bit before heading back in to the club.
"Look who's warming up to Abi."
"Warming up ? Definitely not... I'm just trying to do the whole keep my enemies close thing." I nodded in confirmation to myself. "I wasn't doing the best job before you know the petty gets the best of me."
"I'm confused... girl, are you feeling some type of way because she's Dash's ex?"
"Feeing some type of way ? No. Never that." I popped open the driver side door and hopped out before continuing. "As crazy as this is going to sound and I know anyone is capable of cheating but I truly don't believe he'd do that."
Ebony closed her door beside her and made her way to my side. "I didn't say anything about cheating... seems like something bothering you."
I raised a brow at her, realizing it did seem like something that was bothering me and bottling inside since nobody had brought it up. "Anyways child, come on." I shooed off the conversation as we entered the club.
I've only been gone for a few days and it seemed like KJ had gotten a lot done. Club ALLURE actually looked like a club you'd see on TV.
The girls were practicing there dancing and even a few people were around the bar talking and wiping down the counter and stools.
"Wow... he actually did something." I crossed my arms over my chest absolutely shocked.
"Don't tell him I told you but he said he wanted to show you he could do it himself but I think he wanted to make you proud."
My bottom lip jutted out as I fought off the urge to go, 'Aww.' I can truly say I'm surprised he pulled this off himself, I am proud but I'm a bit upset he had shifted the drug selling business into the club.
"Girls!" Abigail strutted over two drinks in hand. "Complimentary to our second lady and boss in charge."
Ebony quickly took the drink and threw it back. I could see her tongue quickly lick the inside of the glass as a way to get every drop.
"Oh, no I can't drink that" I held the shot glass in my hand giving the drink a small sniff.
It smelled delicious
"Why not? I didn't do anything to your drink." Abigail smiled. "I'm trying to be friends here."
"Look, it-" I racked my mind for a quick subject change. "Who's car was that ... that was pulling away when we were pulling up?"
Abigail looked surprised, "I have no idea... I just stepped outside to answer a call from my mom."
"Give me that." Ebony snatched the drink from my hand and downed it quickly. "I'm going to go get another." Ebony began swaying her hips to the music the dancers were practicing to as she walked over to the bar.
"Hey.. I hope there isn't any bad blood between us again... I just want to be friends." Abigail leaned in close to speak. "I can't shake the idea that this is about Dash and I."
"Dash and you ? Don't say that sentence again... it don't go that way anymore baby girl." I laughed and leaned down to make eye contact with her.
"You know I heard a bit about you."
"What did you hear?" I asked
"Nothing but good things... independent, strong-willed and other words to describe a strong black woman."
"Who'd you hear it from?"
"Your parents." She answered quickly.
"Parents ?" I stood back, still keeping eye contact with her. "When did you meet my father?"
"That was a slip up... you know I'm so used to saying parents and not parent.. it doesn't roll off the tongue well." She laughs loudly and directed her attention towards the other dancers. "I should get back."
The music was too loud but I could hear her mumbling something that I couldn't make out. I know I've been playing this nice game but I'm not playing it stupid.
I just have to figure out exactly what's going on and Whispers warning was enough to have me on high alert not just with Abigail but everyone was a culprit.
A few hours had passed , I'm not exactly sure what KJ was coming to the club to check but after a little walk through and prying Ebony off the pole a couple times we headed back home to get ready.
"I'm telling you, she's up to something." I said while I slipped on a pair of jeans.
"Damn baby..." Dash replied while he was sprawled across the bed with his phone in hand. "That's crazy."
"Really? You aren't even engaging in conversation."
"Baby... I understand your suspicions with that girl but I thought our little get away and .. our news would bring your mind off that shit."
"So you're annoyed is what you're saying ?" I questioned.
"I mean...." he looked over at me and chuckle before standing up and wrapping his arms around my waist. "Baby you're not El Chapo... people aren't constantly at your neck , okay?"
I sighed, looking up at him with furrowed brows.
"What can I do to make you feel better?" He asks. "You want a foot rub ? Back rub?"
I scoffed. "Cold."
"Want me to.... bend you on your hands and knees and eat it from the back?"
"Warner..."
"Do you want me to hit it from the back?"
"Warmer..."
"You want to sit on my face?"
"Hot..." I smiled as he finished listing off things that just generally sounded like fun.
Dash leaned down and kissed my forehead. "I got you when we come hom- back here... cause this isn't our home."
"It isn't?"
"Nope." He turned me around, facing me towards my closet. "Now hurry your ass up."
Once we were dressed , we met everyone else down stairs and we were ready to head out.
Kairo was staying with mom and Aunt Toya since they couldn't get enough of the little guy.
I stepped in to the kitchen away from the small group of people, I wanted something to drink.
As I searched the fridge for what I wanted to drink I felt a hand rested on my back.
I straightened out quickly and turned but was surprised to see Aunt Toya standing behind me.
We haven't had much time to speak as of lately beside the occasional text here and there.
"Why are you so damn jumpy?" She asks. "I'm sorry I scared you... I just haven't had a moment with my girl in awhile."
That was a good question, I had no idea why I was so jumpy and certainly had no reason to be jumpy while in the comfort of my own home.
"I'm sorry ... I just been stressed lately."
She scanned me with her eyes quickly. It was something she did often when it was just her and I. I'm not exactly sure why she did it but it always made me laugh.
"What are you looking for?"
"Just wanted to make sure you were okay." She looked back towards the kitchen where everyone was still occupied in conversation. "You got something going ? We barely have talked since.. well you know , I been out the house with my man."
I rolled my eyes at her mention of her relationship. It was great to see her with someone who made her so happy.
"Everything is fine." I pulled her in to a tight hug.
I missed this.
Her arms were one of the places I could always call home and it always felt safe.
We stood there for a moment in silence, her tight embrace never wavered.
"I'm pregnant." I whispered in her ear.
"What?!" She said loudly enough to gain the attention of everyone in the living room.
"What's wrong?" KJ asked.
"Y'all good ?" Dash questioned.
"Yes!" Aunt Toya answered quickly letting me go. "I was just telling Kimani about how I got my tampon string stuck and I had -"
"As I was saying !" KJ directed his and everyone else's attention back to their conversation but I could see Dash was still eyeing us.
"When did you find out ? Did you get all your supplements ? We need to get you checked to make sure the baby is developing okay.." Aunt Toya began rambling off lowly. "I'll make you an appointment for as soon as possible, are you feeling stressed ? Let me touch your stomach and pray." She reached out and rested her hand on my stomach.
"Aunty, We recently found out, don't have any supplements and I would greatly appreciate that appointment but also if you kept this between us." I slid her hand off my stomach. "I will definitely take the prayer but later."
She pouted , looking rather confused but nodded. "Don't worry my mom to be! Your secret is safe with me."
Aunt Toya questioned me a bit longer before I had to pry myself away to leave with the group.
Tonight was the big night. KJ was excited , Ebony was sleepy, Dash was indifferent and Brianna was hungry.
I was spaced out.
My mind flashing between my pregnancy , that dream and my father.
I could say the club was the last thing on my mind even though as the silence of the car faded and was replaced by the loud music erupting from the club building as well as the crowd of people outside.
KJ turned the corner parking towards the back of the club wanting to use the back entrance to enter without any issue.
"To be honest, I was not expecting this many people to show." Brianna stated as she hoped out the car. Having to speak rather loud because of the music. "It's all thanks to my Twitter work though."
I looked over the tweet she sent out hours ago and rolled my eyes.
"I know you hate being called the kingpins sister and it's honestly cute seeing how angry you get also payback for leaving me for days." She shoved her phone back in to her pocket.
"It won't be cute if I kick your teeth down your throat." I grumbled understand it was just a joke but something about it made my skin crawl.
KJ quickly regained the center of attention as he excitedly led Ebony and Brianna in to the back of the building and as I tried to follow suit.
I was pulled away from the door.
"We got to talk." Dash's grasp on my hand was light as he pulled me back down the few steps.
"Now? In the dark ? Are you after a quickie?"
He sucked at his teeth and chuckled. "Nah, I just need you to promise to be on your best behavior... "
"I promis-...." his shoulder fell in relief. "-ed other people I'd be on my worst behavior."
"Kimani..."
"When am I not ?" I asked, truly confused on what he was getting at.
"No drinking."
"Obviously."
"Don't take no drinks for anyone either."
"That sort of fits in to the no drinking category don't you think?" I laughed but I could see in his face he wasn't joking and he was extremely serious.
"I'm not playing around... this means a lot to me." Dash tucked his hand underneath my chin , tiling my head up so our eyes met. "I'm not going to be by your side the whole night , I just want the two of you safe."
"You don't have to remind me.. I know, no alcohol, no sushi, no cold cuts, no drugs and all that.... I know the drill Dashawn."
He looked at me for a moment before leaning down and pecking my lips.
"One other thing..."
"What ?" I asked getting a bit testy siting outside in the cool air. "Worried about your baby mama in there but not out here in the cold?"
"It'll be quick... someone reached out to me about getting signed to a label."
"What?!" I jumped in excitement. "That's fucking amazing ! KJ is going to be so hype!"
"No, that's the thing. The person only wants to sign me, they aren't interested in KJ."
The air between us got extremely awkward. For the first time in our relationship , I had no idea what to possibly say.
"I just wanted to get the shit off my chest... I'm not going to take it." Dash gave me a reassuring nod.
"This is a big opportunity though, KJ would understand." I thought about it for a moment.
He wouldn't understand and the look Dash had given me said he knew the same thing.
"KJ is my bro, he wouldn't do that to me... and I wouldn't do it to him". Dash jogged up the few steps and held the door open for me. "Thanks for listening and letting me get that shit off me."
I nodded and walked up in to the building. The loud music could be heard from the back room we were now in.
"I'll see you a little later beautiful." Dash dismissed himself, leaving me alone in the rather cozy room.
The back room was equipped with a few things that made it look like a break room at a regular business office like a few places to sit, TV, microwave and a fridge.
A door with KEEP OUT in large red font caught my eye, considering KJ still planned on selling I can only assume it was the room he kept it in.
I shrugged my shoulders, I was a bit disappointed he didn't want to go on the straight and narrow like he talked about but he's grown and can handle himself.
Leaving the back room and entering the hustle and bustle of the club I was greeted by Megan thee stallion blaring through the stereo, smell of alcohol and people dancing.
It was too crowded to locate anyone I came with so I decided to push my way through to the bar.
I could at least sit and sip at a glass of water.
"What can I get you Kimani?" The bartender questioned. "Want one of our specials?"
"I'll actually just take a water bottle, if you have one" I shouted back.
As he nodded and turned away to acquire my water , I further inspected the sea of people.
I could see a couple of the dancers moving about and others were up on the poles around the club.
The entire club was packed, I'm surprised the opening night is actually going this well but one thing I do know is anytime KJ has his mind set to something it's always a Big Bang.... sometimes a good bang or a bad one.
This was a good one though , the laughter, the music, the smiling faces and dancing.
"Your water bottle!"
"Thank you!" I called out taking the bottle and making sure to hear the click as I opened it and took a few swigs.
"It's nice to see you not glaring daggers at people."
I turned to see Ashleigh. I haven't seen her since the night of Ebony's game night.
"What are you doing here?" I asked with a raised brow. "and why are you so comfortable approaching me?"
Ashleigh stepped back and her hand flung to her chest. "Still an asshole I see." She laughed and plopped down in the seat next to me.
It was odd, our relationship hadn't gotten any better but the air felt different between the two of us, like we no longer hated eachother but we weren't friends.
"To answer you, KJ invited me and my boyfriend and before you say any smart remarks... yes, he's MY man."
I couldn't help but laugh , I really had a comment in my back pocket I was ready to fling out on the table.
"Where is this man?" I asked.
"He's ...." she scanned the crowd. "He was behind me... Oh! There he is ! Dancing ? Or fist pumping ? He swears he's from the jersey shore."
I looked in the direction of her finger and noticed the short little white man dancing as if he was punching someone overhead.
"Where's your man?" She asks.
"I'm guessing getting ready to go up there and sing? Or rap ? I'm not too sure on how this is going to work." I shrugged slightly as I've only had my say in the clubs appearance , if I had anymore say the drugs wouldn't be moving around this place.
"Oh? Yeah... the singing and rap duo." Ashleigh nodded.
"Let's not act like you weren't in his studio back at the house gobbling up his corny ass rap lyrics." She looked at me shocked again and laughed with me.
"I really see you don't miss any jabs."
As the two of us continued to chat it up for a oddly long time for the two of us.
Abigail approached.
She rested her head on my shoulder, interjecting in our conversation.
"Hello ladies." She says with a bright smile.
She smelled like Axe body spray and weed.
A very unpleasant combination if you ask me.
"Are the two of you enjoying the night?"
I nodded and Ashleigh's face turned up in disgust as she looked at Abigail.... ignoring her.
Before anything else could be said, the music in the club lowered and a bit of shuffling caused everyone to turn their attention to the large stage where KJ and Dash now stood.
There was no introduction, of course everyone knew who was on stage.
How could you not ?
The two of them did their thing and the crowd completely ate it up. I thought it was going to be an awkward combination at a club like this with Dash singing and KJ rapping but the two of them made it work.
It sounded dope.
After the two of them worked their way off the stage, they were swarmed by a few people while the music continued.
Thankfully in the time that they were on stage Abigail had made her way in to the crowd of people and Ebony, Brianna and Jasmine made their way to me at the bar.
"Look who it is." Brianna shouted over the music at Ashleigh.
"Hey Ashleigh." Ebony greeted her with a smile before waving down the bartender.
That's one thing I've noticed about Ebony. She truly had a forgiving heart and I could tell by her smile there was no hate or urging behind her greeting to Ashleigh and Ashleigh returned the smiling.
Brianna on the other hand ...
"I want a rematch in Uno ... you will draw them fucking cards."
"You still on that ? You got the memory of a elephant or you're just petty as fuck." Ashleigh laughed and earned a chuckle from Jasmine.
"You making me girl laugh ? What type time you on?" Brianna couldn't help but chuckle either .
I watched as the group mingled amongst eachother and took my chance to gain Ashleigh's attention and just hers.
"What was that look?" I asked
"What look?"
"The one you gave Abigail?"
Ashleigh rolled her eyes and leaned forward. "I know.. on the streets i don't have the best reputation but her ? She's a well known snake." Ashleigh looked around as if she was trying to spot Abigail. "I know rumors aren't based in facts all the time but something about her, I don't like."
I nodded. I knew everything wasn't based in facts especially coming from Ashleigh of all people but again, Abigail had seemed to make herself the main character for awhile.
Changing the subject , not wanting to dwell on her for too long. The night continued fine.
I danced a bit with Dash, well he held me and swayed because he didn't know if dancing would hurt the baby.
I drank a few mixed juices but not before Dash took a few sips to check if they had alcohol in them.
KJ even brought me up on stage and introduced me as his sister and the reason for the opening night going so well.
Our night wrapped up around 3am.
The club was still booming with people but for the most part our group was ready to go.
Ebony, Brianna, Dash and I were in the back room while KJ was basking in the glory before he made his way back to us.
Ebony was slumped over the table, way too many drinks and although I have no major knowledge on the matter. Her actions I've seen so far seemed to be pointing in the direction of postpartum depression but that was just an assumption.
"Baby?" KJ shook at her shoulder. "Come on." He picked her up bridal style and Brianna popped open the back door for him to carry her out.
The three of them left out the back room leaving Dash and I in the back room alone.
"How you feeling baby?" Dash asks as he stand up and brings himself to the back of my seat and helping me pull it out.
"Can I ask a question... something that's been on my mind." I looked up at Dash and he nodded. "What do you mean when you say our own shit?"
He bit at his lip before he started talking. "You know what I mean mamas... our own cars, our own crib just a place we call ours and if this shit goes well maybe we can get that before the baby comes." He held his hand out to help me up.
I nodded at him and couldn't help but smile. I loved that he was thinking about the future with us and now our baby.
"You got to stop." I giggle. "Save all this caring for when I'm big you know ? Don't want you sick of helping me once it's really time to do it."
"I'll never get sick of helping you." He smiles, leaning down and nuzzling his head in to my neck. He reaches down and rests a hand on my stomach. "I can't wait to see your ass waddling around."
"I can't wait to see how much bigger my ass gets." I dance a little bit, pressing my ass back against him.
He grumbles slightly. "Yeah, the last thing I need is your ass getting bigger....dudes stare enough... shit even Brianna stares."
"You think I like bitches staring at you ? The fine man that can sing ? Thank God you can't dance I'd be in trouble."
"I can't dance?" He turns me around to face him as he does a quick cure but awkward dance move. "Who can't dance?"
"You !"
We shared a quick laugh until it slowly died down and we were in silence.
We exited out the back door , where the truck was.
As we approached, Ebony was in the back seat asleep while KJ and Brianna were in the front.
Dash and I climbed in to the back seat on either side of Ebony.
Once inside , she sat up and rested her head on my shoulder. Her lips close enough to tickle my neck if she spoke while her feet were kicked up on Dash's lap.
KJ turned on the music and pulled off from the club.
As we drove Ebony shuffled a bit and began whispering something j couldn't make out but one thing I did catch was.
"I hate being a mom.."
A/N: okay I hope you enjoyed the chapter and I also hope you can forgive me for taking too long to update ! I am definitely going to try to be better !