Crazy Town
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The gang were in the basement again. Everyone was doing their own thing. Fez brought his new girlfriend Caroline over
"No, see, Fez, Bazooka Joe wanted to see time fly... so Mort threw the clock out the window. So time flew. Get it?" Caroline explained a joke to Fez
"Did the clock break?" Fez smiled. not really getting the joke
"I don't know. That's not really the point." Caroline clarified
"It's still a pretty big waste of a clock." Fez said in a disappointed tone
"Okay. Well, I gotta go." Caroline said getting her jacket and getting up, Fez walked her to the door.
- See you later, sweetie." Caroline says giving fez a goodbye kiss, and she walked out the door
"You guys are such a cute couple." Jackie said with a smile
"Yeah, I know. I really like Caroline." Donna agreed as she sat down on the couch
" Me too. She's nice." Lana said as she stood behind Hyde, playing with his hair
"For a psycho." Hyde mumbled, mostly to himself
Hyde, take that back." Fez demanded
Hyde then pretended to blow up a balloon, moving his hand to show it expanding. He put the end of the balloon to his ear and imitated the air hissing out of the balloon, before talking in a high pitched manner, "Psycho!"
"You are a gifted mime." Fez complimented, "But that hurts."
"Hyde, Caroline's not a psycho. You just don't get women." Donna said
"Amen to that" Lana agreed teasing him
"We have emotions." Donna began
" We're ruled by the moon and the tides." Lana added as she sat on the armrest of the couch
"And pretty clothes." Jackie nodded
"Yeah, we should hang out with her, you know, make her feel welcome." Donna suggested as she got a popsicle
"We should" Lana agreed
"Yeah, you can never have too many friends." Hyde nodded, "Sometimes you feel like a nut; sometimes you don't."
"Hey, you guys, you know who was crazy?" Eric giggled, "This camp counselor I once had who used to make everyone do turbo sit-ups. But he'd put a towel over your face, and then when you went to do the sit-up..."
"He'd pull the towel away, and you'd have to put your face in his butt." Donna and Eric said in unison
"Donna, you stole the funny part." Eric whispered
" Eric, we've all heard it like eight times." Lana rolled her eyes, "its not even that funny"
"Okay, I'm sorry. Tell the story again. I'll laugh." Donna cleared her throat
"But it'll be fake though, right?" Eric questioned
"Oh, yeah."
"Okay, guys, I once had this camp counselor..." Eric continued but all of a sudden kelso came running into the basement
"Oh, my God, you guys. The Petersons just got a new dog!"
Everyone stared at him blankly
"Let's go!" Kelso said as he ran out and everyone else stayed in their seats
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The girls invited Caroline to hangout with them in the basement, the boys were helping kitty with a church fundraiser.
"You guys are so much fun to hang out with." Caroline said sweetly
"We really are" Lana joked as she filed her nails down
"So what does Cosmo say about me? I'm a Gemini." Caroline asked Donna who was reading the magazine
"Um... okay, the twins. Two people trapped in one body. So you're like a split personality." Donna explained
"If you ever say that again, I'll kill you!" Caroline suddnely yelled in a threaten tone
"I'm kidding!" Caroline giggled, "You guys, I'm psycho, remember? Whoo-hoo!"
Lana laughed nervously, "Wow, that was...that was really good."
"I almost wet myself." Donna mumbled tossing the magazine on the coffee table and getting up from the couch
"All right. All right. Enough small talk." Jackie said getting up and grabbing Caroline's hands
"So, is Fez, like, an amazing kisser?"
"Jackie, don't make me blush." Caroline said a slight pink tint taking over her cheeks
"No, she's only asking because when he kissed Lana, he did this thing with his tongue." Donna clarified
"Yeah he did like this tonged roll-" Lana tried to explain
"You kissed Fez?" Caroline asked, her mood switching from happy to cold and harsh
"Caroline It was so nothing. He had this stupid crush on me, when he first joined the group. And it only happened once" Lana tried to explained
Shut up!" Caroline shrieked jumping onto her feet with her hands in fists, "If any of you ever touch my boyfriend...I will hunt you down like animals! Understand?"
Lana Jackie were staring at her in shock. Donna began to laugh nervously, Lana and Jackie slowly join her, "You're kidding, right?"
"You're kidding, right!" Caroline mocked Donna
"I'll scratch your big, dumb eyes out! Got it?" She shrieked as she stormed out of the basement in a hurry
"Oh, my God." Lana spoke up
"I know. Her nails are beautiful." Jackie compliment throwing her nail file on the table
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"She was scary." Donna explained to Fez as soon as the boys got back from the church fundraiser
" Really Really scary." Lana nodded, "Okay, Exorcist scary!"
"Fez, you have to break up with her." Jackie warned
"Okay, you two are overreacting. She is a little loony, but she wouldn't hurt you." Fez brushed off the girls warning
"Hey!" Caroline said sweetly as she walked into the basement. She stood behind fez, who was on the couch
Hello, my sweet girlfriend." Fez said with a smile, tilting his head back to look at her, Caroline kissed the top of his head
Jackie and Lana looked at each other, they both knew what they had to do. They both put a hand on Fez's thighs.
Caroline grabbed the girls arms, gripping very tightly and lifting them off of her boyfriends legs.
"We've been over this!" Caroline shouted, the vein on her neck popping out
"Caroline!" Fez exclaimed, getting up from the couch
"Touch Fez and die!" Caroline yelled at the girls
"Stop it! These are my friends!" Fez gesturing to the girls
"Oh, really?" Caroline let go of the girls wrists and steeped towards fez, "
Did they shoplift 30 dollars' worth of indelible ink markers...and write your name on every inch of their room? Every inch! Did they?"
"Um, did you guys do that?" Fez asked, his voice fluttering
"No!" the three girls said in unison
"Well, there you have it..." Fez let out a nervous chuckle, "Um, Caroline...I have to break up with you."
"Why?" Caroline asked, her voice softening, " And don't say it's because I'm crazy. Because I'm not crazy."
"Oh, no. Oh... Oh, no. Of cour... Of course not. It's just, um... It's just, um..." Fez tried to think of an excuse, "Lana and I are in love."
"What?" Caroline shrieked
"Oh, my God." Lana mumbled, she was now scared for her life
"Ewww!" Jackie said scrunching her nose
"Yes, we are in love and freaky for each other." Fez said pulling Lana off of the couch and wrapping and arm around her waist, "Please tell her. Please." Fez begged
Lana didn't know what to say, she wanted to help Fez but she also didn't feel like dying today.
"What if she tries to kill her?" Donna whispered to Jackie
"You're a giant. You can take her." Jackie said as she watched them
"Damn it" Lana mumbled before pulled fez into a passionate kiss. They pulled away and Lana fixed her shirt and brushed her hair out of her face.
"Oh, my God. You're really breaking up with me?" Caroline asked in shock
"Is that okay?" Fez asked
"Fez, I just want to say...
that you will never be as happy as you were with me!" Caroline said, "Ever. And until you realize that, I'll be seeing you. And by "I'll be seeing you," I mean that I'll be watching you. But you won't know it."
"Except you just told them, so he will know it." Jackie added in
"Anyways, this isn't over!" Caroline shrieked, she turned on her heels and stormed out of the basement, slamming the door behind her
Lana turned to the girls, all three of them had scared look on their faces. Fez let out a sigh of relief.
"Whew. Sure am glad that's over." Fez sighed with a smile.
🌸🌸🌸 Fez Dates Lana🌸🌸🌸
The gang minus Donna were sat in the basement. Lana was in Hyde's lap, they weren't going to be hangout together as much because Lana is pretending to be Fez's girlfriend to help him get ride of Caroline. So any time they were together they were basically one person.
Everyone was watching Kelso and Jackie stare into each other's eyes.
"I don't wanna blink, 'cause I'm afraid to miss even a second of your cuteness." Kelso gushed as he stared into Jackie's eyes
"I know. It's torture for me too. " Jackie agreed
Lana turned her attention to Hyde, "If we ever talk like that kill us both" Hyde nodded his head in agreement
"I could tear your eyelids off." Hyde offered to Jackie and Kelso
"Let's go, Michael, to a place where our love is understood." Jackie said getting up and grabbing Kelso's hand
"Oh, hey, while you're there check out the new monkey house." Eric teased
"It never ends with those two. I love you, I love you, I love you..." Fez said blowing a raspberry
"Guys, it won't last. Look, an object in an unnatural state...must return to its natural state." Hyde said, "Thus, Kelso and Jackie will have a fight any day."
"Really?" Fez asked with hope
"It's simple physics." Lana agreed with Hyde
"Hey, you guys, you know what? We should get a pool going." Eric said hoping over the couch to get his notebook, "We'll draw days for five bucks. If they fight on your day, you win the pot."
"Sounds like easy money to me, I'm in" Lana said getting up from Hyde's lap to get a soda.
" Hey guys, "Donna came in through the basement door and took a seat besides Eric on the couch, giving him a quick kiss,
Lana walked back over and stood next to Hyde, who took her soda from her and took a sip.
Fez walked over to the lawn chair and sat down "Lana, I can't thank you enough for agreeing to help me with Caroline."
"Hey, anything for a friend." Lana shrugged, "But if she tries to hurt me, I'm using you as a shield."
"That goes both ways missy." Fez warned
"So, while you're with Fez, looks like I'll be living the single life." Hyde joked with a smirk
"Oh, yeah. Just don't have too much fun without me" Lana joked, giving Hyde a kiss, " Oh, but now you won't get to take me to see The Turning Point."
"The ballerina movie?" Hyde questioned, "Yeah I wasn't going to see that anyways"
"Don't worry Lana as your new boyfriend I'll take you to see your movie" Fez offered
"Thanks Fezzie" Lana smiled, "I think I can get used to this arrangement".
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"So, our first date." Fez said excitedly rubbing his hands together smiling at Lana, "I guess we're officially a couple now."
Lana shook her head with a smile at her goofy friend ,
"A couple of knuckleheads, huh?" Fez laughed, "oh, I make me laugh."
Lana laughed before seeing Caroline walk into the hub, "Oh! There she is." She whispered and Fez slipped a quarter into the stereo.
They started dancing to the music as Caroline watched them with a dirty look on her face.
Fez spun Lana to the counter, where they ordered a milkshake with two straws . Caroline was at their table just staring at them.
They were sat at a booth on the same side, Caroline was one table over still listening to them. "Fez I'm having an amazing night" Lana said so Caroline heard.
"Lana this is the best data I've ever been on" Fez said before leaning in to kiss Lana. Caroline huffed and stormed out of the hub.
They pulled away after they heard the door slam shut and they high fived each other,
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Lana was trying to watch tv and Jackie and Kelso making out on the basement couch. Eric was counting the stack of cash from the pool.
Hyde walked through the door and whispered to Eric, "Hey, how goes the pool?"
"Great. I sold 15 spots. I got today. You got tomorrow." Eric said handing over the paper with the dates on it
Jackie and Kelso stopped mauling each other to listen to the conversation
"What? That bites. They're never gonna last until then." Hyde complained
"Who won't last until what?" Kelso asked
"What?" Hyde asked
" Huh?" Kelso asked in response
"Huh?"
"What?"
"Oh. Oh. I, uh...I smashed a couple of toes. We're waiting to see how long before the nails fall off." Hyde lied
"I wanna play!" Kelso sat up with excitement
"Uh, Michael, you're a little busy right now." Jackie said patting his chest to get his attention back on her
"But, Jackie, those toenails could fall off at any minute." Kelso informed
"Hey! Me!" Jackie pouted
"I'm sorry, puddin'." Kelso said giving her a kiss, "All right. Now I feel like pudding."
"Hey! Me too! Let's go." Jackie said getting up off the couch and dragging Kelso up the stairs
"Well, I believe this is mine. Thank you all for playing." Eric said grabbing the cash from Hyde
"That wasn't a fight." Lana said turning her head to face Eric
"Okay, we'll let Fez decide. Fez, fight or no?" Eric nodded over to Fez, who was playing with a mirror
"Sorry, Eric. I have to say no. The pool goes on." Fez said
"But, Fez, I..." Eric began to protest,
"It goes on." Fez held his hand up to silence Eric and then took a
"Ah, what the hell? Now I want pudding." Hyde groans
"Me too" Lana realized
"Let's roll." Hyde said as he help Lana from her chair and they went upstairs. They got to the kitchen, Jackie and Kelso already left.
Hyde was getting the pudding from the cabinet and Lana sat on the counter, "Hey you don't miss me do ya?" she asked
"not really, I mean we still see each other in the basement all the time" Hyde shrugged
"Yeah but we having had any time for just us you know, since i've been busy being Fez's girlfriend" Lana asked handing a spoon to Hyde
"Oh. Well, I'm having fun. Oh, but what about you? Pretending to be Fez's girlfriend has to be kind of a drag. Right?" Hyde asked as he ate some of his pudding
"No! Fez is great. Last night he took me to play putt-putt. And tonight he's taking me on a hayride." Lana said excitedly, " Fez is so charming. You know, I can see why Caroline's stalking him. His like a dream boyfriend"
Hyde cleared his throat, "I didn't know you wanted to go on that hayride thing...I would have taken you"
Lana shook her head, "No its fine you would have hated it. Plus we're both having fun right?" Lana asked eating more of her pudding
"Right" Hyde mumbled as Fez came upstairs with Lana's coat in hand.
"Ready to go get some food Lana?" Fez asked handing her her coat.
"Yeah" Lana said as she slipped on her jacket, "Bye Hyde maybe I'll see you later"
"Oh okay bye" Hyde said before leaning in for a kiss. Lana didn't noticed and turned her head, her ponytail hitting Hyde in the face as Fez wrapped his arm around Lana and they walked out.
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"Hyde, I cannot thank you enough for lending me your girlfriend. It feels so good to be in a normal, healthy relationship." Fez smiled as he sat in the lawn chair across from Hyde and Eric
"Fez, it's a fake, pretend relationship." Hyde remained him
"You say tomato, I say tomato." Fez said saying Tomato the same way twice
"Fez, "to-mah-to." Eric corrected
"What?"
"You say "to-mah-to." Eric repeated
"Why would I say "to-mah-to"? That's not even a word, dummy." Fez shook his head
"All I know is, if I was married to a woman like Lana...it would be heavens. Oh, the high jinks we would get into." Fez said dreamily
"Oh, Lana" Fez shook his head smiling, "Well, I'm off to romance our lady."
"Oh...Hey, Fez, Lana hasn't been...I don't know, like, mentioning me or anything?" Hyde asked curiously
"No." Fez simply said before shutting the door
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"Okay. No one answered the phone at Hyde's house or mine, where could he be?" Lana asked Fez as she took her seat next to him at the movie theater.
"Lana, when we're in public, you are with me. Hyde is dead to you." Fez said drinking his soda. Lana crossed her arms in annoyance. She wanted to enjoy her time with fez but she couldn't stop thinking about Hyde
"Excuse me. Pardon me. Move it!" Caroline shouted as she pushed past people to get to the seat behind Lana and Fez
"Oh, boy. Here comes trouble," Fez spoke up nervously," Caroline! I was just offering my girlfriend Lana a sip from my straw. We don't care about germs, because she has had her tongue in my mouth."
"You know what I think? I think this is all an act. I don't think you're really dating." Caroline guessed correctly
"Oh, yeah? Well... Well, maybe...maybe this will convince you." Fez said before making out with Lana, she wasn't even trying to kiss back, "Come on, Lana. Put some leg into it."
"Fez stop it" Lana said pushing him off of her.
"If you were really together, you'd have at least gotten to second base by now." Caroline said
You know, when you are right, you are right." Fez shrugged, going in to grab her boob
"All right, all right. Enough!" Lana smacked his hand away Caroline, Fez doesn't like you."
"Is that true, Fez?" Caroline softly asked fez
"Yes." Fez sighed, scared that she was going to hurt him
"Wow. I guess we really are over. Okay! Enjoy your movie!" Caroline said surprisingly happy. She was walking past people to leave, when she stepped on someone's foot
"Ow."
"Sorry, Hey, Hyde!" Caroline said, she looked him over, "Lookin' good. Call me."
"Hyde, what are you doing here?"
"Are you kidding me? it's the Turning Point" Hyde gestured to the large screen, "I wouldn't have missed this"
Lana smiled at him, she excused herself from Fez and sat next to Hyde.
"What?" Hyde asked scrunching up his face
"You miss me." Lana grinned
"No I didn't" Hyde lied, as he grabbed her hand and looked at the screen
"you missed me." Lana teased, turning his head with her free hand to give him a small kiss
"I really did." Hyde admitted kiss her again
"Excuse me," Fez said which made people around them shush them, "Our date is not over. Now, good day, sir."
"But, Fez..." Hyde tired to say
"I said good day." Fez repeated himself and sat down and looked at the screen
Hyde looked at Lana, she simply shrugged, "He is my date for tonight, you can have me after"
Hyde sighed and kissed Lana one more time before getting up and letting them finish their date.
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Lana and Hyde were hanging out in her room. Not doing anything to special, just sitting on the bed with some music playing in the background. Hyde put on a Rolling Stones record and was listening to like with his eyes closed.
Lana was reading some random girly magazine she had in her room. She quickly got bored of reading about how to apply make up and what clothes looked better on her figure.
She looked over to Hyde, he had his glasses off with a small content smile resting on his lips. She loved it when the two of them were alone, which had been in a while now, he was sweet and thoughtful.
Lana got off of the bed slowly trying to not disturb him. Hyde figured she was getting another magazine and didn't open his eyes. Lana grabbed her camera from her desk. She put the strap over her head and took off the lens cap.
She start to take pictures of him, at first from far enough away but she wanted some of just his face. She got on the bed straddling his lap, and start taking more pictures.
Hyde opened his eyes, "What are you doing?" he asked with a laugh
"Just taking pictures of my totally hot boyfriend" Lana giggled taking more pictures.
Hyde blocked her camera with his hands. They started to play wrestle, being careful around the camera. Hyde grabbed her hands and pinned them to her sides so she couldn't move them.
Lana smiled softly, hair frizzy, no make up on. Just happy and carefree, Hyde smiled and leaned in to kiss her. He cupped her face, pulled her into him. They were softly lazy kisses, but were full of tenderness.
"I missed this" Hyde mumbled, kissing Lana again. Lana smiled softly, "I missed you"