<OST: Orbit - Hwasa>
Jieun, taken aback by Byulyi's sudden lack of emotion, looked up at her slowly. "What?"
"Please stop acting like this."
"Acting like what?"
"Didn't you know that this day was gonna come some day or another?" Byulyi choked the words out. It was truly conflicting for her, to say whatever needed to be said to this young lady she had always seen as her younger sister. "You can't tell me you didn't know that this was gonna happen eventually. You had a choice to stop it all. I warned you - I told you that if you knew you were catching feelings for him, you had to leave. You denied it."
"I said I had no clue!" Jieun snapped back. "I denied my feelings not because I wanted to, but because by the time I was aware... it was already too late."
"You know what?" Byulyi grumbled as she grabbed the bowl by Jieun's bedside and reached down to pick up the spoon she had dropped on the ground. "Forget about eating. It's not like you ever listen to what I say, anyway. Do whatever you want - you're the only one who has to face the consequences of your own actions, anyway. I'm not gonna interfere from now."
"Why are you acting like this?" Jieun sounded sad yet bewildered at the same time as she glanced up at Byulyi. "I'm feeling sad now, can't you just be a good friend for one second and comfort me? Can't you see I'm hurting? Why are you like this all of a sudden? Are you on your period or what?"
"Am I on my period?" Byulyi scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Lee Jieun, do you really have the nerve to ask me to be a better friend? Do you really wanna compare who's the better friend now? Because I have plenty of things to say about that."
Jieun stared blankly at Byulyi for a while, before turning away. "Forget it. It's all my fault, I'm sorry. Let's not argue now. I'm really not in the mood for this."
"I have been so patient with you," Byulyi refused to stop. "Since yesterday, I have constantly been nothing but kind to you... but you aren't cooperating."
"Okay, I said I'm sorry-" Jieun sighed, getting exasperated. "Can we not quarrel? Seriously, I'm already all drained from crying non-stop since yesterday."
"See? It's all about you again-" Byulyi swallowed hard, clenching the bowl tightly in her hands. "It's always about you, Lee Jieun. You're hurt, I should comfort you. You're in a bad spot right now, so I should understand when you don't appreciate me. You think you don't deserve to eat, so I should just sit back and watch you destroy yourself. Is that what you're saying? Then what about me? Have you ever thought of my feelings? Do you know that for the past few days, I've been suffering in silence? Do you know that my heart is in pain too? Can't you tell?"
Jieun pursed her lips, reflecting on what Byulyi had just said as she glanced up into her best friend's teary eyes. "You're in pain too...?"
"Yeah, you think you're the only one who can be heartbroken?" Byulyi burst into tears. "I've been holding in my feelings for your sake. I have my own issues too, Lee Jieun... but I tried to put it aside for your sake."
"Well, I couldn't tell, I didn't know-" Jieun protested. "How would I know if you don't tell me anything-"
"How can I tell you if you don't even ask?" Byulyi interrupted, her voice cracking as she yelled. "Lee Jieun, why don't you ask yourself - when even was the last time you asked me how was my day?"
Jieun pursed her lips, unable to speak.
"Do you even know?" Byulyi cried. "Not one single time, ever since you moved out - have you shown an ounce of concern about me. Do you even know that? Not one single time."
Byulyi was right, and Jieun knew she was. It had been difficult for her, indeed, having to juggle to jobs at the same time, handling the stress of what to do about Jungkook, managing the fear of getting caught and so on. And maybe because of that, on every rare occasion that they spoke on the phone, Jieun would be the only one ranting to Byulyi about her life. Come to think of it, she had absolutely no idea what Byulyi had been up to for the past few weeks. How was her writing going? Why did Seokjin move out? So many unanswered questions... all because she didn't make the effort to ask.
"Unnie..." Jieun bit her lower lip. "I-"
But Byulyi was already headed towards the door.
"Sorry, I need some time alone."
-•-•-
"JK, your lunch is back-" Seokjin burst into the apartment later that day. "I really don't have time to cook for you today, so I ordered from a nearby restaurant but asked them not to add oil or salt-"
There was no response.
Seokjin, finally realising that his words were not being heard, turned around and scanned the house. "JK...?"
Click.
The door to Jungkook's room opened and out came Jungkook, looking like an absolute zombie.
"Oh, you're home! I thought..." Seokjin's voice faded away and his smile faded a little as he caught sight of Jungkook's gaunt-looking face. "Have you been crying again?"
Jungkook shook his head as he dragged himself to the table and plopped himself down at the table, looking at the bland food that Seokjin had bought him. Looking at this food, somehow, reminded him of her yet again. How she had convinced him to take start eating food that had a little grease and sodium in them, and made him think that it was complete alright to go easier on himself... She had seemed like such an angel to him, but as it turned out... She was just a devil in disguise after all...
Jungkook pushed the bowl of soup away from him and backed away from the table.
"What is it?" Seokjin asked, sounding concerned. "Is the food not to your liking? Shall I go buy something else for you? What do you wanna eat? No matter how far it is, I'll go get it for you-"
"Hyung."
"You want some porridge? Or-" Seokjin stopped short as he finally heard Jungkook. "Hm?"
Jungkook pursed his lips, the emotions on his face unreadable. Then he finally glanced up at Seokjin. "I'm gonna work really, really hard from now."
Seokjin stared at Jungkook for a few seconds, as if he didn't hear him properly, or rather, couldn't completely fathom what he was saying. "Huh?"
"I'm gonna work super hard from now," Jungkook repeated, looking down at his hands that rested on his lap. "I'm done with crying - it's way too exhausting. From now... I'm just going to pour all my energy into working hard and growing my career."
Seokjin hesitated for a while before patting Jungkook on the back gently. "Good decision, Jungkook-ah. Maybe that will take your mind off the unhappy things. I support your decision."
"Can you arrange more work for me?" Jungkook said softly. "I don't care what it is - be it CF shoots, dramas, variety show appearances, radio shows - whatever they offer... I'll take it."
Now that worried Seokjin.
"Hey, slow down-" Seokjin said with his eyebrows furrowed. "There's no need to overwork yourself. You've barely been getting any sleep these days, and now that she's gone, it's likely that you won't be able to get much sleep from now-"
"I can manage, hyung," Jungkook said as he glanced up at Seokjin. "I can manage, so don't worry. Just do as you're told - Yang sajang-nim will be happy about it, anyway."
"Jungkook-ah-"
"I don't really have an appetite right now so I'll eat this later," Jungkook said quietly, gesturing at the food as he rose to his feet. "Thanks for the effort, hyung."
Seokjin watched on helplessly as Jungkook dragged himself back towards his room.
"Oh, one more thing-" Jungkook stopped in his tracks abruptly, turning around to face Seokjin once more. "I need you to do me one more favour, hyung."
"What is it?"
"There's a box of books she left behind, I left it by the door," Jungkook said almost emotionlessly. "Do me a favour and send that box back to her, will you?"
"Hm?" Seokjin recalled the box of books he had brought in yesterday. "Ah... okay, sure."
"There are some snacks of hers I forgot about as well-" Jungkook swallowed hard, motioning towards the cupboard in the kitchen. "Help me clear that out and send it back to her, will you?"
Seokjin nodded slowly.
"Thanks, hyung."
Then Jungkook turned around mechanically, headed towards his room and closed the door swiftly behind him with a small click. And for once, Seokjin thought that crying it all out might be better than bottling it all in.
-•-•-
"Where are you?"
"Turn around."
"I still don't see you."
"Look to your 10 o'clock-"
Yoongi turned to his left a little and finally spotted Jennie waving at him from a distance, with her phone pressed to her ear. And though Yoongi really wasn't in the mood, he forced a smile and waved back as he walked towards her.
"Yoongi-oppa."
"Did you wait long?"
"Not really-" Jennie said with an excited smile. "Just... around five minutes."
"Ah."
Silence fell over the two, as Jennie watched Yoongi expectantly, as if waiting for him to carry on. But he didn't.
"Do you have anything you wanna tell me?"
"Hm?" Yoongi pursed his lips. "Oh..."
"So..." Jennie hesitated a little, before finally popping the question that had been on her mind all this while. "How did your interview go?"
Yoongi remained silent, and that freaked Jennie out.
"Ya, why are you even hesitating...?" Jennie's eyes widened in surprise as she grabbed Yoongi by the arm. "Don't tell me... you didn't get the spot?"
Yoongi pursed his lips as he gestured at the restaurant right in front of them. "Let's go inside and talk."
Jennie's jaws dropped. "You're not denying it..."
Yoongi bit his lower lip and lowered his head a little. "I bombed the interview..."
"But it shouldn't be this way!" Jennie pouted as she reached into her bag, whipping out her phone at once. "I told Jimin-oppa to make sure that everything went smoothly..."
"Jennie-ya."
"Let me give Mino-oppa a call real quick-"
"Jennie-ya-" Yoongi had to grab Jennie by her shoulders, shaking her a little, before she finally stopped what she was doing and looked up at him. "Listen."
Jennie blinked a few times in surprise, finding it difficult to meet Yoongi's eyes.
"It's my own fault," Yoongi said quietly. "The other interviewees were really good at talking - much, much better than I was. Their qualifications too... they were younger, yet had much more experience than I did."
"B-But-" Jennie stammered. "But Mino-oppa-"
"He was there, in the interview." Yoongi nodded slowly as he let go of Jennie's shoulders and took a step back. "He was really nice throughout, and I'm glad that even though he's your friend, he wasn't biased towards me simply because of that. I liked that he was being fair, and genuinely picked the people that would benefit the company most. If I had gotten a place instead of the other two of them, I wouldn't be happy. Instead, I'd feel like I didn't deserve it."
Jennie pouted. "Oppa..."
"I'm already thankful enough for this opportunity," Yoongi said as he gave Jennie a small smile. "Without you, I would never have had a second chance with KBS... and this opportunity to have an interview with SBS... All of this is thanks to you, and I'm so grateful. But at the same time, I also feel sorry... because I feel like, my lack of skills and experience have been wasting the chances you've made for me."
"Don't say that..." Jennie frowned as she slowly slipped her phone back into her bag and took a step towards Yoongi. "You're doing just fine. The seven years you spent away may truly be a disadvantage for you... but I'm sure you can overcome that - no, we can overcome that, together. We just haven't tried long enough yet or perhaps, we've been looking in the wrong direction all this while. Come on, let's discuss that over dinner. You must be hungry, aren't you?"
"I'm fine."
At that precise moment, Yoongi's stomach let out the loudest growling noises, and Jennie burst into laughter.
"What was that?"
Yoongi finally let out a small chuckle as well, as he ruffled his hair. "I guess I must be hungry without even realising it."
"Come on then-" Jennie secured her mask over her face, before grabbing onto Yoongi's hand and tugging him towards the restaurant. "Today's my treat."
Yoongi followed behind her into the restaurant, already feeling ten times better than before.
-•-
Knock. Knock.
Seokjin stood in front of Jieun's apartment, carrying a box in his arms. Contrary to his calm outer appearance, his heart was banging against his ribcage like crazy as he waited for someone to come to the door. It had just been yesterday that he had moved out of this place... and yet, it already felt like an eternity ago. It felt unfamiliar.
Knock. Knock.
Seokjin's feelings in that moment were hard to describe. His heart had done a little backflip when Jungkook had told him to deliver Jieun's stuff back to her house. On one hand, he dreaded seeing Byulyi again because of how awkward it would probably be. On the other hand, however, he liked that he had an excuse to see her. He was running an errand for Jungkook and she happened to be there, so what?
As he stood in front of the door, his mixed feelings were no different. On one hand, he wished that the person who came to the door was Byulyi. On the other hand, he was a coward and thought that perhaps... it'd be better if it wasn't her.
Click.
Seokjin stood up straight, clearing his throat as he heard the door click open. And before he even had any time to prepare, he was standing face to face with the girl he had grown fond of over the past few weeks. And in that moment, Seokjin realised how very wrong he was to think that his feelings for her could be summed up as just a tiny little crush that'd soon be over as soon as it had begun.
Because in that moment, staring at those brown round eyes on her tiny, pale face, Seokjin finally knew.
"Hi," Seokjin managed to utter.
Byulyi didn't speak. She just stood at the door, her arms crossed, spending a moment to take in exactly what she was seeing. Seokjin just stared back, not knowing what to do... or what to say. But the silence was getting so uncomfortable that Seokjin knew he had to at least say something.
"Um... sorry for dropping by without any notice," Seokjin began, his heart thumping harder and faster than ever as he held up the box towards Byulyi. "I just came to drop by some leftover things Jieun-ie left at our JK's house."
Byulyi hesitated, briefly meeting Seokjin's eyes for a split second. But she looked away almost just as immediately, and took the box from his hands without saying a single word. Seokjin kept glancing at her nervously, waiting for her to say something. But as Byulyi put down the box in the corner of the house and prepared to close the door on him, it was clear that she hadn't planned on saying anything more to him.
"Wait-" Seokjin hurriedly blurted out, afraid that he'd miss his chance. "Hold on."
Byulyi stopped what she was doing at once, but didn't bother to even look up at him.
"Um-" Seokjin racked his brains for something to say. "Ah- in the box, there are Jieun's books and also... some snacks she had bought while she was still staying there."
There was some hesitation, then-
"Okay."
Seokjin raised his eyebrows, surprised by Byulyi's first words that night. Her voice sounded hoarse, as if she had been crying for a really long time... or as if she was falling sick soon.
"You..." Seokjin paused as he scanned her briefly from head to toe. "You... okay? You sound a little-"
Byulyi interrupted his sentence abruptly, clearly refusing to talk about herself to him. "Anything else?"
"Huh?" Seokjin raised his eyebrows, completely startled. "Oh, um- no, not really. Well, um, is Lee Jieun alright...?"
"No," Byulyi muttered coldly, matter-of-factly. "Is there anything else?"
"Um..." Seokjin scratched the back of his neck, nervous beyond words. "I... well..."
"If there's nothing, goodnight."
"Wait-" Seokjin quickly held the door open with one hand before Byulyi could close it on him. "Moon Byulyi, wait."
Byulyi looked up at him slowly.
But Seokjin didn't actually know what to say. I'm sorry...? Thank you...? Were those even appropriate, anyway...?
Byulyi just stared at him blankly. "What is it?"
"Oh, um-" Seokjin finally let go of the door, backing away awkwardly. "May I speak to Jieun for a bit?"