A/N: I'm not sure why I wrote this chapter. I was just angry and at first it came out too strong, too hateful like I made Jooheon so mad at Changkyun that he said many hurting things. Once I felt better I tone it down, way down. This is the result. Like always, ignore the errors. Enjoy.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Changkyun was angry, no, scratch that. He was more than angry, he was furious and sick to his stomach every time he was near his mate. He didn't want to talk to him and less be near him. He was that angry.
But he also misses him too. He was angry at that too. The more he spends his time away from Jooheon, the more he misses him. He hated that he loved him so much. He was angry ... but he was more hurt than angry.
The brunette chose to stay in his old room, the one the Clan pack first put him on when he was taken. He moved some of his stuff there and there he remained all day. He didn't do any chores, didn't assist in his self-defense class or anything. He just stayed there in his room playing with his turquoise switch all day long. From dawn to midnight. He was purchasing games around the clock, games that aren't exactly cheap. 50 dollar a game at the eshop and Changkyun purchased the ones he wanted using Jooheon's credit card. Yep... it was more than 100 dollars a day now.
Changkyun obviously didn't care if the alpha got angry. He didn't care. If he did barge in to yell at him then he would shove the friggin Nintendo on his face.
Kihyun and Minhyuk were the only ones that visited him daily. Felix and Jisung on the weekends. It was a Friday afternoon when he was playing ace attorney, the trilogy he loved to play back when he had a DS. He was in the middle of the lost turnabout when he heard a soft knock on his door.
Changkyun didn't need to ask who it was because the honey roast scent filled the air the moment the other stepped in front of his door on the other side. Changkyun frowned when the door opened and changed his sad miserable face to a angry one. The tall head alpha slipped in with a blue folder in hand. Changkyun didn't bother to look at him, but snuck a few glances to see how his honey was doing.
He hated to admit it .. but even if he was hating Jooheon at the moment ... he still cared about him.
Changkyun keen brown eyes noticed how pale his mate looked and the bags under his eyes when he walked to the nearest coffee table in the room to place the blue folder down. He looked tired, sleepless.
Changkyun felt guilty. He knew it was because of him.. but he pushed those thoughts aside to manage to keep up his iron front. He went back to playing ace attorney when Jooheon turned to face him.
Jooheon laid eyes on his mate that was sitting on the middle of his bed with his back against the bed frame playing on his switch, the present Kihyun got him for his birthday in January. He looked at the damn thing knowing it was because of that thing that he had to pay more than 100 bucks to his card.
He was upset about that but he didn't say anything because he didn't want to upset his already upset mate. He didn't want to make matters worse. He just wanted to make up ... but it was hard when Changkyun was doing his best at avoiding him.
Jooheon sighed calmly and straightened up his posture when he began to talk to Changkyun.
"These are the papers you need to sign before we prepare for the weeding."
Changkyun furrowed his brows, still playing "what ceremony?"
Jooheon bit his lip "The one that makes you the official Luna of the Clan pack and be my spouse."
Changkyun then hit pause to look at Jooheon that was already staring at him with a serious gaze. Changkyun didn't agree to a ceremony, at least not yet. Yes, he was expecting the topic to come up but didn't expect the decision to be made for him.
"We never talked about this and you are pushing it on me like this?" Changkyun was doing his best not to yell and the alpha noticed.
"There's not much to talk about Changkyun. We are mates and we already shared many intimate moments together. We accepted the bond and we accepted each other. Is only natural that you become the Luna."
"Can't it wait?"
"Wait for what?" Jooheon was confused now and Changkyun looked horrified "don't you want to be my pack's Luna?"
Changkyun didn't respond. He stayed quiet and got up from the bed to stand in front of Jooheon.
"Becoming Luna also means I become your fiancé. Or your wife, I dunno how this pack works."
Jooheon nodded "Yeah, you become my waifu as well."
Changkyun bit his lip. He didn't want to think about marriage... at least not yet.
"Is there something wrong?" Jooheon asked a bit nervous.
"I didn't think I had to deal with this right now. I thought I would have time! Is too soon! I don't want to become Luna yet and I don't want to think about marriage yet! There are so many things I want to do before I'm tied down!"
Okay... he could've said it better .. but Changkyun is impulsive and almost never thinks things through. He just says what's right on his mind with no disregard how others feels... and this time it had to be Jooheon.
Jooheon didn't know how to feel when he heard Changkyun say all that. He just stood there feeling something clawing at his chest.
"Can we not talk about this now?" Changkyun went back to his bed already forgetting why he was pissed at Jooheon but the alpha caught his arm to pull him back. The conversation was not over and he felt like was being too nice and too soft on his own mate. He was the alpha, the dominant one. He should be in control of his relationship, Not Changkyun.
"Stop avoiding me! We are going to talk about this wether you like it or not. We are mates now Changkyun and by law we have to get married to each other!" Jooheon wasn't going to let Changkyun slip away and get his way again. He needed him to understand that he was the head alpha and he has big responsibilities in his pack that he can't do all alone. Jooheon needs his Luna and Changkyun can't help him unless he becomes the Luna officially by marriage.
"I don't want to get married right now!" Changkyun struggled to break free from Jooheon's iron grip. The alpha was holding him tight, his arm was hurting and he felt like his circulation was going to be cut off sooner than later "let go of my arm Jooheon."
Jooheon shook his head, his eyes glowing crimson red with anger. Changkyun didn't know what to say, once an alpha has red eyes they are impossible to deal with. He was growing scared because Jooheon leaned closer and his hand gripped tighter. Changkyun let out a whimper when Jooheon squeezed tighter.
"I have done everything to please you! Everything I could think of and still you are not pleased? What do I have to do for you to accept me completely? What do I have to do for you not to hesitate to marry me?!"
"Jooheon! Please calm down!"
Changkyun's lips trembled but Jooheon heard him and let him go but not without giving his mate a glare that froze Changkyun's spine. The omega could see his alpha was truly angry, and very hurt. He was too blame for rejecting the wedding.
"I love you, and I promised to protect you always. We are mates. We are supposed to be together but you always running away, you always get mad at me and hold on to that anger to get away from me! All I do is love you and protect you and all you do is hurt me!"
The omega stared at Jooheon with widened eyes. His heart thumping his chest like it was going to burst out.
He was completely speechless.
Deep down he knew Jooheon spoke the truth.
He loves Jooheon, that is true but he also can't deny that he likes to run away every chance he gets. Other mates forgive and forget, but Changkyun liked to hold on to the damage and use it as an excuse to get away from his clingy mate.
The thought that he was hurting Jooheon never crossed his mind.
Changkyun was selfish.
Always thinking about himself instead of his mate.
Always putting his feelings and desires first than his mates.
He wants to be in control, but he is not supposed to be in control.
Changkyun held himself together in front of his mate. His anger, Danny, all forgotten.
"I don't want to be a Luna... it just doesn't suit me." Changkyun bit his lower lip "I was hoping to become something else."
The Luna have big responsibilities in the pack, responsibilities that Changkyun just didn't like. Luna shared tasks with the head alpha that is in charge of a growing community of werewolves. Is a huge job and he just didn't want it. Before Danny's letter Changkyun was actually thinking about talking to Jooheon about it .. but never got the chance.
"What is it that you want to be then? What's more important than looking after your own kind? Your pack? Your own family?"
Changkyun bit his lip.
"I wanted to become a baker...." he said this in such a small voice. He even felt embarrassed for saying it...
Jooheon seemed to calmed himself down. His eyes went back to normal but he was still a tad bit mad.
"Kyun, I love that you have dreams and that you want to chase them, but I can't believe you rather choose a dream over your own people." Jooheon chuckled sadly rubbing a hand through his dark hair in frustration "I need you. I really, really need you." He said this looking at his mate in the eyes "I can't deal with everything myself. Is too much. I was counting on you to work at my side. I want to make this a safe place for everyone and to do that I need your help."
"But what about what I want?"
He had the job back when he lived in the human territory and he loved every second of it. It made him happy. Why can't jooheon understand he wants to choose a different path?
"So you want me to give up my dream?"
"I'm saying you can be my Luna, help me and do whatever you want on your spare time."
"Can I please just think about this?"
"Changkyun," Jooheon hated the thought that his own mate had to even think about it. Changkyun is supposed to be sure about this "Do you love me? Or you are so angry at me that you hate me now?"
Changkyun remembered why he was angry and just sighed at his mate.
"I don't feel like talking anymore. You made it pretty clear what you want. You want me to give up my dreams so that I can be your assistant. Point received. I can't have a life. Now go." Again he said things without thinking and regretted his words once they left his mouth. Jooheon frowned once again and turned his gaze away.
Jooheon didn't say anything else. He took his leave. He opened the door and there was Minhyuk about to knock on the door. Jooheon slipped passed him with a glare that made Minhyuk weak on the knees. He looked so terrifying. Minhyuk hoped the head alpha didn't think he was eavesdropping because he just arrived!
Minhyuk's legs wobbled, he had to hold on to the door frame so that he wouldn't fall. He dragged himself inside and dropped himself on the omegas bed so that he could ask the latest.
"What happened in here?" He asked almost breathless "it feels so dark and heavy in here."
Changkyun sat on his bed holding his switch on his hands when he thought back at what happened. He doesn't know what to make of it. He said many things he didn't mean to say, and he was selfish again and ugh.
Why was it so hard to be in relationship?
"Minhyuk?"
"Yeah?"
"Are omegas allowed to go after their dream jobs?"
The beta laid on his back and had on a thoughtful look "well yeah, some go to college and study more. Others opened stores here in the community. Small dreams but obtainable."
"Then why can't I go after mine?" the omega asked exasperated "I don't want the job of a Luna. I want to be a baker. Make goodies that make people happy."
"I know. I would totally love that, for you to have your own bakery here and all ... but you are the head alphas mate Kyunnie, you will have responsibilities and it's the job of the mate of the leader to help him."
"But i don't like the job ..." the younger pouted feeling warm tears burning his sockets.
"I know. I can't actually picture you doing the job to be honest. But, you have to understand that Jooheon is the leader of a pack full of werewolves, full of families. Some families come to us with nothing and we have to provide them safety and shelter. They are counting on us to keep them safe from rogues and human poachers. Is a big job Changkyun, and Joo can't do it alone."
"Well now that you say that ... you are right." the brunette bit his lip feeling bad.
"Is a huge responsibility and he can barely do it on his own. Hyunwoo and Wonho help him as much as they can but they have their own responsibilities too."
"I know ... I know ... I also know that they can't always be there ... they have mates to look after too."
He understood that Jooheon's job was much bigger and much more important, yes he now understands.
"I'm sorry kid, but that's the life you are destined to have when you were chosen as Joo's mate. If you had another mate, then yeah, you could chase your dreams more openly."
"I feel like a jerk now." Changkyun tossed his switch "Jooheon is a great leader and is always doing his best for the pack. He does need help."
"Yeah. You are like a princess of a small kingdom, and like a princess you have to care about your people too."
"Do I really have to kill my own dreams?"
"Not necessarily. Maybe later in the future you can open up your own bakery! Never give up on that Kyunnie. Now The focus on this conversation is to give Joo the benefit of the doubt. That you understand him and that you stick to his side. That's all he wants from you. To be there for him."
"Okay. Okay .. but... I can't promise to be perfect Luna. I'm not good with dealing with people and organizing stuff."
"You don't have to be perfect." Minhyuk offered him a reassuring smile "plus, you will have me and Kihyun helping you out, always."
Changkyun returned the smile feeling better that he has good friends to count on.
"What about marriage? ... is scary ... I don't want people to make such a big deal out of it either. I don't want something big or public." Changkyun cringed at the tuxes, the suits and the big puffy dress. Back at his old pack, everyone liked to marry like the humans do and changkyun just hated the weddings.
"It can be small and prívate. Hell it can just be the two of you, the witness and the one marrying you.... tho I hope I can be a witness too.."
Changkyun smiled "I know."
Changkyun thought back at everything that happened again and just sighed "I was very insensitive. It was like I didn't care what he wanted or needed. Ohh god .. I pretty much acted like I didn't want to marry him. He must have been hurt."
"You can make things better Kyun."
"I'm still mad at him .. for what he did and he thinks I really hate him now. I do admit I'm still pissed... but I still love him."
"Can you apologize to him?"
"I have to."
"Then go."
🐾🐾🐾
Changkyun
It just started to rain when Minhyuk left my room to go meet his mate for dinner. I was still sitting on my bed feeling like the worst person in the world. I was mean, selfish and insensitive towards someone I deeply love.
Jooheon is not a bad person.
Everything he said is true.
What he said about me is also true. I don't know what exactly is wrong with me, but I always manage to make his life ten times harder than before. I feel bad, I really do.
Things were going so well, then the letter happened and I snapped. I ruined things just when they were starting to get good again.
I can't keep hurting Jooheon.
I read the documents over that were the terms and it pretty much an orientation about what a Luna haves to do as the second helping hand in the pack next to the leader. I had to sign if I agreed with the terms and I did sign my name as cute as possible ... but the handwriting looked rather weird and clumsy.
I wanted to fix the relationship quick and start over so I wore a warm hoodie that I kept hidden in my old room. It was one of Jooheon's favorite hoodies. I kept it so that I could cuddle it at night. It smelled just like Jooheon and it made it easier for me to fall asleep.
I left my room and began to search for the big angry/hurt alpha. Many were surprised to see me outside the room I confined myself in but didn't say anything. I didn't need to ask anyone where the alpha was because I could smell him, he was close by. Just outside.
When I left the pack house I spotted him walking down the road with Gunhee. I chased after them and called out to Jooheon that didn't turn around when I called him. He had his AirPods on. Stupid damn things. Gunhee did turn around, he heard me, bless him. He stopped and saw me run towards them all breathless. A small smile tugged his lips when he saw me.
"Hey! Someone finally left that old stuffy room! Glad to see you are still alive."
"Yeah..." I tried to return the smile but felt it drop immediately when I saw Jooheon look at me with sad eyes.
Gunhee figured out what I was after and proceeded to make a lame excuse to leave us alone "uh! I got a text, my cat just jumped off the window .. see you guys later!!"
I saw him rushed away and then I turned to see Jooheon take off this AirPods. He just dragged himself to a nearby old oak swinging bench. I followed him but preferred to stand.
I was nervous so I said the first thing that came to mind "I'm sorry."
That's good! I mentally gave myself a pat on the back.
I needed to apologize for being angry at him for the letter and for being insensitive.
"I'm sorry for being angry at you and for snapping at you like I did. It was uncalled for and it wasn't fair. Is true that I'm selfish ... I know that ... I'm so focused in doing what I want that I never sit and ask about what you want and I understand you are the head alpha and I understand that you have so many stuff to do and that is my job as your mate to help you. I know that. I understand all that." I choked out as best as I could and I was surprised to see how focused Jooheon was when he was listening to me. I got more nervous "Jooheon... I will help you ... as best as I can ... I'm not perfect so I will do my best. I will give up my dreams if that makes you happy. I love you and I want to make you happy."
I stared at Jooheon who was staring right back.
I fidgeted with my fingers wondering if I'm doing okay ... "uh, am I making sense?"
Jooheon chucked lightly "Yeah, you are making sense."
I gave him a small smile when I reached for my back pocket to pull out the document he brought over for me to sign. I unfolded it and hand it over to Jooheon "I signed it."
Jooheon's eyes widened when he saw my clumsy signature "you will become my Luna?" He asked like a small child that just received the best present in the world.
I smiled with a nod "Yes..."
Jooheon's smile brightens up more when he reached out for my right hand "you do realize you also said yes to marriage?"
"Yeah. I know."
He held my right hand and pulled me towards his lap so that he could hug me. It was a tight embrace but a lovely one.
"Thank you." He smiled against my chest "but like I said, you can bake your goodies when you are free. You don't have to give up your dream. I don't want that."
"Thanks Joo."
"I do have you keep my future wifey happy."
"Oh, talking about that... I have some conditions!" I blurted out and he quickly looked at me laughing "I want our wedding or ceremony or whatever to be small. Private ... just us ... and Minhyuk squealing on one side and kihyun crying on the other and the one marrying us."
"Sure. I'm not a big fan of crowds either."
He smiled and I smiled.
Jooheon hugged me once more but this time it was longer.
"You are not mad anymore?" he asked when he pressed his lips against my cheeks. I know what he meant, and I just felt like I should just let it go. As hard as it was, I rather let my mate protect me.
I shook my head "No. I won't get mad like this again ... I promise."
"Please don't ... I can't sleep another night alone. I miss you too much."
I smiled and I got an idea. I pulled out a post it I grabbed from my room and wrote a promise on it.
"Let's promise each other something and whenever you feel like we are slipping ... you can remind me of this promise and I promise we will deal with whatever peacefully and without drama."
Jooheon watched me write quietly on the red post it:
'We promise to always love each other, even when we hate each other. To love and support each other through everything. No secrets. No running away. Always and forever together as mates.'
"I signed it! Now you sign! You can add more if you want."
"I think you got everything down. I will frame this when I'm done." Jooheon smiled at the post it.
I laughed and watched him eagerly sign the post it with his name.
His signature was flawless.
"There! Our vows are right here!"
"You are right." I stared at the red post it and smiled at it, secretly hoping that our relationship gets better from now on.
Jooheon smiled watching me holding our post it and pressed his arms tighter around my waist. It felt nice, I missed it. I turned my head to look at him "can I moved back in?"
"I will go get your stuff right now."
🐾🐾🐾
"You really framed it?" I asked Jooheon that just came into the room with our post laying comfortably in a fancy gray frame.
"I told you I would. Now I will hang this above our beds like Derek and Meredith from that series you watch nonstop and repeat all over..." Jooheon glared at me at the last words and I smiled sheepesly.
"Can't help it. I really love Meredith's adventure with doctor McDreamy. "
"Well is because of them that we have a post it of our own."
"Yeah." I watched Joo hang it up above the bed. He then dropped his body on top of mine and I ran my fingers through his dark silly hair that I missed so much.
"Let's forget about the letter," I told him "I don't ever want us to fight like that again."
Jooheon agreed "I just want to protect you from anything and anyone."
"I know hun. Thanks."
"I love you."
"I love you too."
To be continued:
A/N: I'm not sure if this chapter made sense.
^^ take care.