• C H A P T E R T W E N T Y - F O U R •
the one with
the roots: new year's pt.1
Ethan was a pacifist.
He always made sure their family was problems-free. It got annoying to the point where Veronica started hiding things from him and claimed the wifi at the Lodge was infinitely better than the one at home to explain why she needed to stay away from there as much as possible. No family was perfect - she was aware of that. They could've had it worse - she was aware of that too. But it wasn't a reason to stick around and be involved in something that would harm no one else but her.
Her parents fighting? Whatever - as long as she was kept out of it.
She didn't even tell him when she found out their mom was cheating on their dad.
Their mother might not have acted on it, but the very frequent late-night phone calls and sneaky conversations she had were enough indication. What annoyed Veronica the most was that she used to secretly talk to him in front of her. With earbuds on she would hum, and Veronica could clearly hear a male voice talking on the other end.
Nothing angered Veronica more than being taken for an idiot.
When she confronted her about it, her mother made sure to reverse the narrative. She blamed Veronica for being so selfish - that her mother trusted her enough to do it in front of her, that she never expected her to react so cruelly.
Veronica had been all too familiar with the guilt-trip card and she openly hadn't bought it. They hadn't fought - she hadn't answered her when she had bashed at her, she hadn't even felt any bit of regret or relief. She had been angry. Plain and simple.
It was a stain on their relationship that none tried to fix. The only fixing they had done was Veronica being forced to apologize because she had known otherwise, she'd turn her life into a living Hell. She had gotten into her room, had said a flat 'sorry', had been met with a curt nod, and that had been all.
Veronica had always wondered if Ethan knew, but the incident became such an irrelevant detail that she no longer cared about.
The car parked by the entrance and they split the fair of the cab. It was the best option to take one seeing as no one was going to drive to the airport. They had been sleeping for the past two hours on the way to Long Island, except for Veronica and Chloe who passed the time watching random episodes of Modern Family on Netflix.
The moment Veronica hopped off the car, she saw her mother standing by the door rushing down the stairs to greet them.
"There you guys are! Come in, come in. You wouldn't believe the day I had!"
They barely stepped out of the car and she already started to complain. "Didn't even take her two seconds," muttered Veronica under her breath and Chloe snorted.
"Oh, Allen! Welcome home, honey!" She wrapped her arms around him and gave him a tight squeeze. "Haven't you missed us?"
Veronica rolled her eyes and hurried inside with her luggage. "Dad!" She called out, looking for a distraction so she wouldn't hear any shit about her mother's agonies.
"Out here, sweetums!" She followed his voice to the kitchen, smiling brightly at him as he engulfed her in a hug.
"How have you been, dad?" She smiled when he kissed her temple, looking down as he threaded the meat on large skewers to grill outside.
"I've missed you."
Veronica and her dad have never been too close. There were moments where they had been affectionate to one another that could have been insignificant but meant a lot to her. It was merely two years ago when Veronica noticed her mother created some sort of barrier between them. None wanted to be on the receiving end of her wrath so they'd gladly back out when the other was being bitten instead of helping each other. It was twisted but it was sad too. They had gotten a little closer recently now that Veronica was starting to understand how to deal with her mom's mood swings.
"I missed you, too," she awkwardly reciprocated. At least they were trying.
"Ronnie, sweetheart!" Veronica barely got to turn before she was swamped by her mother. She felt torn between the overwhelming feelings of pushing her away and melting in her arms - and she remained awfully stiff.
"Hey, mom."
"You look pale! Have you been eating properly?" Veronica offered a tight smile.
"Yea-"
"Oh honey, you've got to hear what happened with me today-" she started to say but was cut off when Wayne let out a loud bark, sprinting over to where Veronica stood, its tail wagging.
"Hey, buddy!" Veronica's entire face brightened at the sight, crouching down to pull it in a hug from the neck as it excitedly turned around and around. "How you doin'!"
"You miss him?" Her mother taunted. "You barely get to see him, you're in college," she accused with a smile.
...that's the point?
"Yes, and that is my fault," Veronica said with a straight face, wanting to say so much more as her irritation grew.
"Well, you barely ask about him." Her mother arched an eyebrow and Veronica plastered a smile.
Because I'd have to talk to you, she desperately wanted to say, but we know how that conversation's gonna go.
"We got the luggage, Ronnie, thanks," Ethan sarcastically remarked as he got inside the kitchen. He greeted his dad with a hug and next came the rest as they invaded the kitchen.
"Ronnie, would you help me with these?" Her dad ushered at the appliances as he took two full trays.
"Of course." She rushed to take the grill, lifting it and halting mid-way as a threatening hum coursed through her upper arm. She rolled her eyes and cursed under her breath. She swallowed, angling her head to notice her dad was waiting for her expectantly. "Uhm... I'll take these..." She ushered at the trays, discomfort crawling in her gut. "My arm." She shrugged, hoping it would be enough.
"Oh. Right!" Her dad moved to place the trays down so he could get the heavy appliance, but Allen intervened.
"I got it." He smiled and her dad gratefully patted his shoulder, focusing on Veronica again, who mumbled a small 'thank you'.
"Is it better?"
"It's doing okay. I'm not using it much."
"Honey, how many times do I have to say," her mother lightly interjected in the background. "Don't think about it. It's fine." She waved her hand and smiled like the issue was silly.
I've been here barely two fucking minutes - Get. Off. My. Back.
Veronica's jaw tightened, the snap was right at the tip of her tongue but she held it, partly because it was pointless, and partly because she didn't want to fuss over it.
"That's what I said." Her tone was curt despite the smile she forced, her eyes a little wide and a little cold.
Allen frowned when he caught it, wondering if that had always been the case and he just started to notice.
"Hello!"
Chloe's blood ran cold at the sound of her own mother's high-pitch voice as she stepped inside the house. She turned to glance at Veronica, who came to stand by her side.
"You met your nightmare, now's my turn."
"Your mom's your nightmare?"
"Wait for it."
"Mommy!" Danielle squealed and jumped to wrap her arms and legs around her. Veronica's top lip curled up, a little weirded out and Chloe gave her a knowing, sarcastic smile.
"See."
Chloe put on the fake smile and greeted her with a little less enthusiasm than her sister, who suddenly turned back into a ten-year-old desperate for her mother's attention. She loved her mother, of course she did, but the scenario had always been the same when they'd been out of the house and away for too long: the constant mention of how much their father was an irresponsible asshole.
"I missed you girls so much." She looped her arms to hold them in a tight embrace. Veronica faltered on the side, leaning against the wall as she waited for them to be done.
"Where's dad?" Danielle asked and their mother heaved a dramatic sigh.
"He's not coming..." She trailed, failing to hide the faint hint of bitterness in her tone. Danielle and Chloe exchanged looks, the latter witnessing the former's realization that just because they'd been away for a while, it didn't mean their parents have changed.
"Things are still rough?" Danielle asked, treading lightly. Chloe winced; she shouldn't have asked.
"Well, since I told him I wanted a divorce and he didn't care, I'm going to go ahead and say yes." Their mother snuggled them closer, her fingers threading through their hair as she heaved a sigh.
Danielle's shoulders sagged and Chloe felt a little bad for her. Her little sister tended to put her hopes up that everything would solve itself and had to be met with the disappointing realization that it wasn't the case.
Chloe bit her tongue, giving a small shrug. "More of a reason to get it."
"Hey, aunty!" Veronica shrilled to shut her cousin up as she sensed the annual unresolved argument of divorce or no divorce resurface. "I've missed you. I love your hair! Have you been letting it grow?"
"As a matter of fact, yes!" Her aunt beamed, pulling her into a hug. Chloe was shooting Veronica daggers to which she responded with pointed looks of her own. "Aren't you sweet, honey, I missed you too."
They didn't notice Danielle's suppressed agitation until she leaped for the stairs. Chloe was quick to follow while Veronica led her aunt to her mother, making small talks on the way.
"This is unbelievable," Danielle hissed the moment they got in.
"I know. I know." Chloe nodded, turning to face the door when Veronica pushed it open to get in.
"Why is this still up for debate?" Danielle continued, her anger brewing to the surface. "He doesn't care? Fine. He's an asshole. Get a divorce, anyway. You've spent our entire childhood going through that scenario. And then she brings up she's staying in this marriage for us because a divorce will 'scar' us or something. Why make us feel like we're the reason she's miserable?"
Chloe nodded. "I wish she could just see that divorce is the solution. It's been the solution years ago." It would've saved us a great deal of pain.
Their father was a misogynist, cheating scumbag. He had the emotional maturity of a child and had stopped bothering hiding his affairs for years now - they had a theory he'd do it on purpose just to rile their mother. Even she wasn't any better. They loved her but she had to constantly remind them of her vulnerability and inability to function without her kids by her side, even if it meant putting them in the middle of an abusive marriage.
"You're adults now. What's stopping her?" Veronica cut in as she jumped on the edge of her bed, crossing her legs.
At the question, something in Chloe clicked. She was her mother. She'd been stuck with a scumbag too, unable to see just how toxic their relationship had been. And still, after leaving him, she still felt something was awfully wrong, out of place, different.
Was that what was stopping their mom? Scared of change?
Chloe huffed and sat on the mattress to lean on the headboard. "It's exhausting. I can't remember how I used to deal with this on a daily basis."
"You'd lock yourself up," Danielle answered as she climbed to sit next to her, laying back on the giant teddy bear in the middle of the bed.
Chloe had dealt with their parents' problems and looked after them for so long, she got to the point where enough was enough. She stayed to look after her mother because she was afraid she wouldn't know how to take care of herself, but then it dawned on her that she was a child, not a parent. After that, the what would I do without you? was used to manipulate Danielle who had fallen prey to their mind games.
"I told you not to get involved."
It took resilience and bravery from Chloe's part that Danielle was too afraid to use. Danielle huffed and covered her face with her forearm. Chloe looped her arm around her shoulder and pulled her close.
Silence settled as each was lost in their own thoughts and Veronica stood, moving to lean on the windowsill, angling her head to look outside at the shore. Her eyes followed Ethan as he threw the ball out in the sand for Wayne to follow and it sprinted after it with a spike of energy. She smiled, her eyes landing on Allen who stood aside and laughed when Wayne splattered water across Ethan's entire front.
"You think Theo and Carl are coming this year?" Danielle asked about their cousins in the background, Chloe grunting at the thought. "Ugh, I don't want to deal with uncle Marvin's groping this year."
Wayne jumped at Ethan in full force, pushing him into the water. Ethan's dramatic screeching could be heard through the window, and Veronica snorted. Allen shook his head as he howled with laughter, unbothered to offer a hand while Ethan struggled to stand only to be pushed back down, submerged in salty water and sand.
Unconsciously, Allen turned and looked up at Veronica's bedroom window. His eyes were squinting under the sun and the glass was reflective he couldn't see a thing. But Veronica's blood ran cold, and her body instantly jolted at the idea of him catching her watching him, twisting around to glue her back against the wall.
She bit down her bottom lip until she tasted blood, counting to ten before she peered back out to see he was looking at his shoes now, absently tracing a pattern in the sand. She placed a hand to her heart to calm her racing pulse and cursed herself for being such a creep.
"What are you doing?" Chloe questioned from right behind her and Veronica leaped, feeling suddenly queasy. "Why are you so jumpy?" Before she could let her answer, she leaned in to see what Veronica had been looking at so intently. Her eyebrows reached the ceiling and a wicked small smile danced on her lips.
"Shut up." Veronica rolled her eyes.
"There's no easier way to settle this." Chloe crossed her arms against her chest and shrugged like it was no big deal. "Veronica, do you love him, yes or no?" She sharply addressed.
"Wha-" Veronica flushed, her lips curling up in revulsion as she felt heat bloom across her entire body. "What kind of question is that!"
"A yes or no question."
"No! I mean-I don't know!" Veronica whined like what Chloe asked was absurd. Danielle blinked at the encounter unfolding, holding back a laugh. Chloe caged Veronica by holding both her shoulders and planting her to firmly face her.
"How can you not know!"
Veronica started dramatically wailing as she shook her head forcefully. Danielle burst out a laugh while Chloe was fuming, wanting her to be serious. "Stop being a baby, Veronica!"
"I don't want to deal with this!" She screeched, frantically running towards the bed and crashing face down.
"You have got to be fucking kidding," Chloe muttered in irritation, grinding her teeth. "I'm curious to get to the root of your issues."
"Get to yours first," Veronica bit back, sharply turning to face her.
"Ooooh-" Danielle cut herself off when Chloe shot her a glare, rolling her lips inside her mouth.
"And if you'd like to know, probably sixty percent of my issues are from my darling mother, who restrained me by constantly thinking she was doing me good by 'shielding' me from the world instead of letting me learn from my own mistakes. "
"Let me guess..." Danielle trailed. "Is it the 'I know better' scenario?"
"Yes. She doesn't know what's good for me as well as I do, even if I might not know shit." Veronica huffed.
Danielle sighed and dropped back on the pillows. "Sometimes I do think she knows best and let her tell me what to do so I wouldn't make mistakes... Most of the time she's right but-"
"Who says?" Veronica snapped, straightening her posture. "Says who? Says her. She tries so hard to convince me, and your mom tries so hard to convince you, she knows best when all I see is flaws and flaws. The way she deals with things with so much venom and emotions just put me off. One time, when I was sixteen, I was grounded after I told Caleb I loved him and was forced not to talk to him for not reciprocating. Grounded. And for what? Because girls shouldn't let guys know how they feel because they'll take advantage of it."
"She's sort of right though, guys do take advantage," Chloe told her and it triggered a nerve in Veronica's body.
"So what? Not everyone is an ass. That's the point. She grained in me the idea that everyone is horrible, that everyone is greedy, that I wouldn't know better than her. I have this pessimistic side of my brain that I know was forced on me. Don't you see how bad I suck at relationships? Because that nagging feeling that someone is going to take advantage of my feelings is constantly there and it's so fucking annoying and I just want to get rid of it. Not just that. All those insecurities and low self-esteem and worthlessness..."
Veronica was still angry.
Years of constant neglect and control had made her an emotional mess. She had never talked about it openly, about how she knew for a fact her mother was a narcissist, about how she sought therapy a few years back so she could get to the roots of her fear of intimacy. She had this constant thought that people had it worse, that she had the perfect life compared to many, but it also could be better. It was no excuse and she didn't deserve the treatment she got. No one did.
"I see your point; I do," Danielle started gently and Chloe noticed the pattern: her sister would rightfully go against her mother but feel guilty enough to go back to square one. She needed a wake-up call, but she was going to need time. "But you're being spared tons of heartbreaks..."
"Being heartbroken is much better than being scared. I'm not spared the pain. Heartbreak teaches you so many things, but what does fear teach you? Absolutely nothing."
Everyone was spread around the living room, putting up decoration around to bring life to the space. Veronica had been standing on a ladder, focusing on tying the 2020 gold balloons against the wall while Allen helped her from below before her dad came around to ask Ethan a question about Sanford. Already, she knew what was coming.
"Don't you guys have an espresso machine?"
Their parents, especially their dad, were notorious for asking from Ethan to get them a bunch of free appliances he was able to get from the company, iPhone chargers being at the top of the list. They had a drawer full of them and all they had to do now was open a business and sell them with a hundred percent profit.
"What, you need me to get you one...?" Ethan's sarcasm was shadowed by his dry tone.
"Surely you can get Veronica a position as a barista there."
"David!" Her mother warned, and Ethan snorted.
Veronica deadpanned; she was used to their constant jokes about still not finding a job. She didn't even graduate yet, and they couldn't stop harassing her.
"And what, work my way to the top?" She wryly countered.
Allen furrowed his brows, looking up at her.
"Ah, c'mon, she knows I'm joking." Her dad laughed.
"I'm not going to allow you talking to her this way," her mother stated, glaring at her husband.
The hypocrisy, Veronica wanted to say, I've heard you say things that are a hundred times worse.
"Imagine that, she'd be serving Ethan coffee," Chloe teased, earning a threatening smile from Veronica that only meant she was going to regret this later.
"Very funny." She rolled her eyes, reaching for another piece of duct tape from Allen. She caught his questioning gaze.
"You didn't tell them?" His voice was low. She gave him a warning look to drop it, but Chloe's ears prickled.
"Tell us what?"
Her mother looked at Veronica with furrowed brows, dropping the bag full of hats and horns to give her full attention. Veronica's heart swelled in sudden panic, her gut twisting in a tight notch as she stared at them, all waiting expectantly, eyes moving between her and Allen. Danielle tried to think of an exit for her, but everyone was suddenly interested that it seemed impossible to deviate their attention.
She swallowed, wiping her hands off her jeans. Normally, she'd be happy to prove her parents wrong, drop the bomb when they least expected it. But this case was different because it was Allen who got her the job for reasons they both couldn't explain to them.
"Well..." She climbed down the ladder, smiling tightly. "I was going to wait for the ball to drop," she joked, recovering, "but anyway, I did get a job at Sanford and no, not as a barista."
"What?" Her mother was the first to react. "That's wonderful!"
"Oh my God, Ronnie," Chloe shrilled. "Congratulations!"
"When did that happen?" Ethan's eyes narrowed as he warily studied Allen. The latter briefly locked eyes with him before looking away, remaining impassive. It was true he asked for his help, but that was barely two days ago and Veronica was now saying she got the job.
"Does it matter?" Their dad waved his hand dismissively, throwing his arm around Veronica, looping her in a tight side hug.
"A few weeks ago, Allen referred me, and I got an interview."
"You were interviewing and didn't tell us?" Veronica and Allen both sensed Ethan's doubt.
"Yeah, what's the pay like?" Her dad asked, earning a glare from her mom.
If only you knew, Veronica wanted to say.
"This is fantastic! Good thing all your uncles are coming this year to celebrate the wonderful news..." Her mother kept talking, but Veronica's hearing blurred, eyes growing wide and jaw hanging in shock.
"What?" She choked out.
"...Now Ronnie, I expect you to be on your best behavior," her mother added, glaring at both men when she noticed their exchange of suggestive glances. Veronica straightened.
"Me?" She arched an eyebrow. "I should be on my best behavior?"
"Oh... wow." Chloe was loving this. Nothing enticed her more than family drama, even if it came at the cost of her cousin's humiliation. She hated her uncles just as much, but there was no denying their infuriating presence created a source of entertainment.
"Now come on, let's get back to it!" Her mother dismissed the topic so they could finish decorating and Veronica looked away to hide her eye roll.
"You've got to be kidding me," she muttered under her breath, reminding herself to keep her cool as Allen stood right next to her. He wanted to block them out, but it was proving to be an impossible task.
"What? They mean well, you know that," her mom defended.
Just like you mean well? Veronica scoffed internally.
"Do we have to invite them?"
Ethan snorted at this one.
She tutted, "Veronica..."
"I'm serious. It's either that or I'm not staying. I'm not gonna handle their crap."
"Language." Her mother frowned, and Veronica's jaw tightened, her heart speeding at the thought of tonight. They had to come the year Allen came back from France. It felt like they planned it - some sort of satanic ritual they thrived on to make everyone's life an embarrassment.
"Don't worry, honey." Her dad ruffled her hair. "I'll have your back."
Her shoulders sagged and she leaned in to pull him in a side hug. "Thanks, dad."
"He's just doing it for the fifty bucks-oh!" Ethan jumped off one leg when Veronica kicked him in the shin, rolling her eyes.
"What fifty bucks?" Their dad frowned.
"I still have the contract," Ethan wheezed.
"Are their kids coming too?" Danielle frowned and her own mother answered with an 'of course!'
The girls gagged, instinctively closing the gaps between each other and forming a circle; their mutual disdain for their cousins being an enough pull.
"God no..." Danielle whimpered, resisting the urge to cry. They all hated them, to the point where they'd much rather hear their parents fighting than have to deal with the childish behavior of thirty-something-year-olds.
"If I hear any more of their high and mighty opinion about medications and hospitals and placebo effect, I might just as well drown them in the ocean." Chloe was actually plotting it, she just needed them to push Veronica's buttons enough to get her help with the execution.
"Right?" Veronica scoffed. "If tweedle dee and tweedle dum come at me with any more ridiculous arguments that Batman is a hero, I don't think I'll be able to handle it."
Chloe blinked in confusion. "I thought you liked batman?"
"I do."
Chloe's features relaxed into its neutral state and she shook her head, moving back to distribute the confetti balloons. Danielle went back to add more fringe curtains while Veronica climbed back up the ladder, doing her best to ignore Allen.
She might as well send everyone instructions to wear black tonight because she sure as hell was going to plan her own funeral.