A shooting pain sprang from his core as he moved, his body ached, stung, pulsed... he groaned, shifting his weight to lie on his back. Blinding rays pierced his eyelids and he squinted his eyes, groaning once more as he tried to block the lights.
He fluttered his eyes open and tried to sit up which he did with much effort. He looked around, trying to figure out where he was.
He remembered asking Lawrence to drop him after a long drive and the helpless driver left after Ali threatened him if he didn't.
He had then walked far to an unknown destination only to collapse due to his weak system.
Now only Al-Aleem knows where he is or for how long he's been there.
He tried to get on his feet which he managed to after much effort, everywhere pained so much but he wasn't ready to deal with that.
He slipped on his slippers which were lying in different locations and checked to see which lane would lead somewhere, anywhere.
He heard voices and footsteps and he turned to the direction only to meet a group of men and cops heading towards him.
They stopped for a moment before they hurried to him, asking if he was alright. The cops just stood there watching.
"Who are you?" Ali asked in a croaky voice not minding to sound nice.
"We saw you here and called the police, are you okay? What happened?" One of the two men answered.
"Where am I? Where is this place?"
"Mahuta."
"I don't... I need to get back home."
"Where do you live?" One of the policemen asked to which Ali ignored, reeling away.
The police stomped to him and seized him by the arm making a pulse of pain shoot up in his abdomen. He groaned and clutched the part, turning with a blazing glare to the policeman.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?!"
"You don't raise your voice at an officer!" The man shot back.
Ali gaped at him and decided to ignore the idiot, he doesn't have time for fools. He furthered ahead, hearing the police ordering him to stop and the others asking him to just let him go.
Ali walked through the bushy path, weakness, pain and thirst making him hate his life. He stopped by a tree, supporting himself with the trunk and checked to see what was pulsing in his abdomen. He saw the stitch there which has been long overdue slowly bleeding.
He hissed, despising his life more. He plodded through the rough path and fortunately, he reached a road. He looked left and right but didn't know how to start getting a ride. He had no money on him and doesn't even know how far he was from home.
He stopped a man that's passing by and asked how far he was and got his answer.
"You can get a tricycle or bus to get you to Zaria, it shouldn't be more than #200." The man added and Ali only nodded, not even thanking.
He could just trek, moreover he won't even get a free ride.
I can do this. He reminded himself.
He walked for a few minutes and just had to look for a place to rest. He found a shade and took a load off on the ground, leaning over the tree.
He took in deep breaths, his throat as arid as a desert.
An old but well-taken-cared-of golf parked in front of him and he waited to see who it was.
It was one of the men that were with the police earlier and he crouched before him, asking if everything was alright.
"Water." Ali croaked and the man quickly got on his feet and came back seconds later from his car with a sachet water.
Ali forgot his insecurities at that moment and gulped down the water in a go. He sighed and threw his head on the tree trunk, relishing the goodness of quenching one's thirst.
"Where do you live? I can take you back." The man offered.
Ali shook his head. "I'm good, I don't live too far away."
"You don't look like you're strong enough to walk under this hot weather_"
"And I told you I don't live too far away, I can walk there." Ali said irritatedly even though he's too weak to raise his voice.
The man okayed and Ali got on his feet, paddling away. The man shook his head and went into his car, zoomed off.
Ali walked too far for him to possibly keep count, stopping to rest at intervals. He kept using sign boards to direct him even though he wasn't even certain he's going the right way and could slowly feel himself emptying away.
The sun was already setting and he found a spot on a rock and sat down to rest.
He watched as cars sped past him and sighed, burying his face in his arms. I hope I don't make it past sunset.
A car pulled up before him again and he looked up only to find the same car, and man.
"Please let me drive you home. My intentions are pure and if you don't believe me, you can use my phone and call your family."
Ali gave the man a long stare before giving him his home address.
"You aren't even going towards Zaria." The man exclaimed.
"I got no cash on me and even if you're gonna abduct me, you ain't getting nothing."
"In shaa Allah I will take you back home without any harm and you don't have to pay me."
Ali got into the car and after about twenty five minutes drive, they reached the estate. Well it wasn't really an estate as only two houses reside there. But it was a vast area of land which was on the outskirts of Zaria, cost a fortune and was properly secured.
He directed the man to park before the checkpoint and he did. Ali alighted, closed the door and crouched so he could talk to him through the window.
"My home's just a few steps away, they'd give you a hard time seeing me like this with you." He informed, referring to the soldiers there.
The man nodded, wondering how and why a wealthy man like him will be lost in a bush like he was.
"I'm Ali." He stretched his hand for a handshake. One thing he rarely does especially with strangers.
"You're a Muslim." The man said, surprised, and accepted the handshake.
"Yeah, I am. I'd like to repay you for your kindness, let me give you my contact."
"No wallahi, I did this for the sake of Allah. Thanks for your offer and may Allah always be with you."
"I insist." Ali insisted.
"My reward is with God, and that's what is better. You should go home now, your family must be worried."
Ali was just about to talk when they heard a loud voice and footsteps coming towards them.
"Hey! What are you doing there?!"
Ali sighed and shook his head. "Thank you, jazakallahu khair."
"Amin." The middle aged man smiled warmly and Ali moved away from the car while he drove off.
Ali then turned around to face the man who was already in step with them and the frown on his face loosened.
"Sir!" He saluted and Ali motioned for him to come closer, supported himself on the guy's shoulder and they moved towards the booth.
The other soldiers saluted as he moved closer and he sat on the plastic chair they cleared for him. One of them immediately placed a call to his home and he requested for water which was quickly brought to him.
He gulped down half the bottle in a breath then stopped to relax.
Damn it's already sunset and he's still alive.
In three minutes, Lawrence was there and immediately drove him home.
* * *
She's in the kitchen after praying maghrib frying yam which was to be her first meal of the day when she heard sounds from the sitting room. She paid good attention and the shuffles seized after a faint thud.
After turning off the stove, she lumbered towards the lounge only to stop by the dining table when she saw a figure sprawled on the sofa with its back to her.
Different emotions coursed through her as she trudged towards him.
He didn't come home yesterday, when she called Umar he said he's fine, she didn't have much energy to argue though she had every feeling he didn't mean his words. She's planning on going to his house tomorrow actually.
He turned his head over his shoulders to look at her when she neared him.
He grunted and twisted his face, rolling his head on the headrest.
Seems he wasn't expecting to see her.
But who else was he expecting to see?
Holding the sides of the couch, he pushed himself up to his feet and stumbled towards her with a dismal face.
He held her arm and pushed her so she's backed on the couch.
"Why are you here?" He gruffed.
"Ali_"
"What do you want?" He demanded, squeezing her arm. "Why can't you just go away? I don't want you here, I don't need you to pity me. You can leave, go to your mama and papa, give me some space. What do you want me to do to make you go away? Kill myself?!"
"No." She cut him away, shaking her head as drops of tears filled her eyes.
She hated seeing Ali like this. She'll forever choose the arrogant Ali to this vulnerable one. He looked shabbier than yesterday, his eyes dark and hollow and skin dirty, stubble shaggy and clothes the same as yesterday's. What is he doing to himself?!
"Then what do you want? Money? Name your price. A hundred million? Two? A billion? Name it. You want this house? All the houses? You can have it. I'll give you all the cars, all my accessories, I'll give you everything that I own. Just go away and let me be. Please_" He clenched his teeth and held his flank, breathing hard.
"You're not well Ali, we need to take you to the hospital."
He ignored her and slid to the ground, leaned over the back of the couch.
"What's happening to you?" She knelt before him, cupping his cheek.
"Go away!" He ordered, pushing her weakly. He grunted when the pain shot up again and squeezed his abdomen.
Amira hurried to the kitchen and got her phone.
Umar had called.
Just as she's about calling back, he called again.
"Ya Umar," She just noticed she's been weeping.
"Amira what's wrong? Is Ali home?"
"Yes, he's here and he's still sick." She hurried back to Ali.
"Damn! Get Lawrence, Imam, anyone, take him to the hospital, I'll meet you there."
"Okay." She sniveled and made to go out but Ali held her gown.
"Where do you think you're going?"
"I'm taking you to a hospital."
"Don't fucking think about it." He let her go.
"Ali_"
"I'm fine! I'm not going to no hospital." He groaned and squeezed his flank.
"What's that?" Umar sought from the line. She hadn't ended the call.
"He's refusing to go to a hospital!"
He hissed. "Stay with him please, I'll get the doctor home. Call me when the slightest thing goes wrong."
"Okay."
And he hung up.
"Ali," She held his cheeks and lifted his face. "What can I do?"
"Go away." He snorted and pushed her.
"Why're you doing this to yourself?!"
"Leave me alone."
She fell on her butt besides him, crying.
The more he groaned and squeezed his shirt in pain, the more tears spilled from her eyes.
And then his breath began seizing.
"Ali," She inched closer as he tried taking in air through his mouth, his eyes turning redder.
"Ali what's wrong? What's happening?" She held his hand, the other on his jaw.
She couldn't tell what she's feeling then, fear? Panic? Anxiety? Or all?
"Get me... get me a knife." He heaved and she froze up.
It took some time for her to register what he said. "Knife?"
He scowled, in pain and frustration. "Yes. It doesn't have two names does it?" He heaved a breath. "Go get it already!"
"Knife?" She pondered. "What're you using a knife for?"
He groaned and sucked in slews of air as he attempted getting on his feet. Unfortunately, he collapsed back on the floor, now utterly out of breath as he wheezed agonizingly.
"Ali," She fell beside him, shaking his cheeks. "Ali please don't do this. Don't do this to me please."
A thought hit her and she bolted up to her feet and dashed to the kitchen.
She climbed on the counter and brought out the first aid kit from the upper cabinet hoping she wasn't mistaken. She'd seen it once when she's looking for some pain relievers for Ali.
She wasn't asthmatic and she'd wondered what an inhaler would be doing in the first aid kit. She cast the matter off but now she thinks she knows why.
It could be his right?
Like, he had the kit even before she came to the house and he isn't living with anyone else and an inhaler isn't a basic thing to add to a home first aid kit is it?
Well she prayed it was his, but is Ali asthmatic?
Wether he is or not, he's having difficulty breathing and it's worth a try.
Ya Allah please make it work.
She grabbed the canister and went back to him.
He's still on the floor, wringing in pain as he tried to catch his breath.
"Ali here_"
He hit the inhaler away and turned over to lay prone.
"Ali please don't be stubborn. You're dying fi sabilillah."
She got back the inhaler and through his weak attempts to push her away, she forced it into his mouth and spritzed it twice.
His breath levelled a little.
"I said you bring a knife. Not that rubbish!" He spat.
"You should say a thank you! You're dying."
"Get lost." He shoved her aside and crawled to the armchair, leaned over it.
Just then did she notice the blood stain on his shirt and was quick to have a look.
The stitch wasn't only bleeding but also pussing.
"This... it is infected Ali." She gasped, another tear slipping off her eyes.
"Get away from me!" He shoved her away from him.
She was confused on what to do before deciding to call Umar.
"Is something wrong?"
"He's breathless earlier, and I used the inhaler in the first aid kit and he's a little okay but... he has an infected stitch and he's insisting on getting a knife."
"Knife?"
"Yeah."
He spoke to someone for a while. "Don't let him get close to anything hazardous, I'm on my way with the doctor. We'll be there in twelve minutes max."
"Alright." She ended the call and went closer to Ali. "What can I get you?"
"Just go away."
"Other than that."
"Really, what can I do to make you go away? Forever."
"Be good to yourself."
He grunted and looked away from her face, his breathing still jagged.
She sat down close to him, watching as he sucked breaths after breaths. They sat like that for long minutes before he squinted his shut eyes, applying force on his abdomen.
She held his palm which was lying on the floor, gave it a gentle squeeze.
"Get me water." He snatched his palm away.
She got the water in a minute and gave it to him.
The liquid barely touched his lips when he pushed her hand away, sucking a breath.
"Ali," She cupped his cheek.
"Argh!" He twisted his face and jerked tormentingly.
She quickly dropped the cup and held his hands, trying to keep him in place.
"Get me a knife!" He ordered, voice hoarse.
"No."
"Fuck!" He gritted and grovelled on the rug, writhing.
"Don't 'fuck' Ali, pray."
"Fuck!"
"Oh my Allah, this guy's insane."
She struggled with him for a while and his grunts were increasing, and so was his aggressiveness.
But she wouldn't let him have his way, she wasn't taking any chances of letting him get a knife.
What dying man wants a knife lillah?
She heard a car's engine zoom up to the porch when Ali was becoming unbearable and she hoped it's Umar.
Alhamdulillah. She sighed when she heard their salaams.
He, Khalil and the doctor.
"Ali," The doctor squatted besides him, he backed on the armchair.
"Good," He grunted through gritted teeth, short of breath. "Take... take this thing out of me. Take it out."
"Okay, it's good. I will, now you have to calm down, and _"
"I mean you take it out... Argh! Now."
"You know that's impossible _"
"Then get me a knife."
"You're not getting a knife."
"Fuck!" He twisted, straightened himself on the couch.
"We need to get you to a hospital."
"I ain't going to no fucking hospital. Take it out now or I do." He gave the man a solemn look.
"You're not in_"
"Shit! It hurts."
"I know. You can't have a surgery like this."
"I don't need a freaking surgery! I want it out!"
"How?" Dahir asked incredulously.
"Really?" He scowled cynically. "Aren't you a medic?"
"And now the medic is telling you you can't_"
"Then fucking do it!"
"Not when you're like this."
"Argh," He squirmed on the floor, squeezing the rug beneath him and his hand on his flank.
The doctor got his bag and opened it for a pain reliever while Ali snatched the scissors there.
"No!" Umar jumped at him and seized it before he dug it into his stomach.
"The hell you're doing!" He and Khalil yelled in unison, eyes wide as saucers.
Amira slipped to the floor, clashing a palm on her lips. Why's this happening?!
"You need to stop this rubbish!" The doctor rebuked.
"You won't understand." Ali heaved a breath. "It's painful! It's fucking painful!"
"And that's why we need to get you to the hospital."
"I don't want to go to the hospital! Just take the organ out of me." He gritted.
"That's not happening."
"Why don't you understand?!"
"Then have the dialysis."
"No."
"Then go for a transplant_"
"Never."
"Then how do you want me to take it out without replacing it?"
"It doesn't need to be replaced."
"Then you're effing dying."
"Isn't it the perfect thing? Kill me. Just end this torture please."
"Ali, you need to rest." He got the tranquilizer and syringe.
"You're not... don't put that in me." Ali shook his head, inching away.
"You need to calm down Ali."
"No." He caught his hand, let out a grunt. "You know what it does."
"We'll take care of it when you're better."
"No. Please no."
"I'm sorry, it's the only option now."
"You shouldn't do this." He begged.
"Farouq," The doctor nodded at he and Khalil and they knew what to do.
Ali tried to get away but he's held fix, Umar enveloped him in a hug and through his 'please don't's', whispered calming words into his ear as the needle pierced through his forearm. As the liquid seeped into his veins, sedating his cells, he sucked a wheezy breath and slipped into oblivion.
Amira gasped as she saw him fall lax unto Umar who steadied his unconscious body. Her questions were only increasing by the moment, she needed answers, desperately.
From the background of her zinging thoughts, she could here them talking about hospital and immediate treatment, she jerked back to reality when she felt a tap on her arm.
"Are you okay?" Khalil asked, brows furrowed in worry.
She nodded, unable to find her voice.
"Maybe you should go spend the night with Abeedah,"
She shook her head, moving her eyes around the room, Ali and the doctor were gone and Umar was careening towards the stairs from the foyer.
"Are you sure you'll be okay? Or will you come with us to the hospital?"
She shook her head again.
He deliberated before going away.
Her mind was still in a haze when Umar came back from Ali's room with a set of clothes and talked with Khalil then approached her.
"Amira."
She pulled her eyes up to his.
"You shouldn't be alone like this." He shook his head.
She didn't respond.
"C'mon, I'll drop you at my place."
Now she responded, shook her head.
"Are you sure? You don't look too well."
She shook her head.
He sighed and went to his feet, left with Khalil.
She lay her head slowly on the soft cushion, vague thoughts of her husband dancing through her brain.
The most fearsome and possible thought being,
What if I wake up to his death news?
And she couldn't sleep a wink, neither could she move an inch.
* * *
The next morning hardly could she gather the strength to get up to pray after hearing the adhaan, she trudged up to her room and made wudu', said her subh salah and at the last sujood, wept, wept and prayed earnestly for her sick husband.
After the tasleem, all she knew was she had to go see her husband.
She took a hasty shower, donned one of her light sleeveless gowns and complimented with the knee-length hijab she prayed with.
Grabbing her purse, she ran back to the sitting room for her phone and dialed Umar.
"Ya Umar, good morning." She said, out of breath.
"Morning Amira, is something wrong?"
"No no no, everything's cool. Is Ali okay?"
"Umm, yeah. He is. He's still asleep though."
She felt relief wash through her as she mumbled the tahmeed. "Ok, uh, are you still in the hospital?"
"Yeah, we're both here."
"Ok, do you need something?"
"Umm," There's hushed voices before he added a 'no'.
"Alright then, I'm on my way." She fired out and got her car keys from Mallam Nasiru.
* * *
"It's okay, I'll just stay with him."
Both men looked at her ridiculously.
"You taking care of him or he taking care of you? You've lost at least a thousand pounds this coupla days." Khalil jeered with quirked brows.
Amira rolled her eyes. "Really? I'm a girl y'know, we call it slimming to fashion. And men, can't quite say."
They both chuckled.
"And we have wives who push food into our stomachs and drag us to bed. You really need that too."
"Uh-huh, I do that to him a lot of times. Let's say it's in the genes. You don't have to worry, I'll do just fine. Trust me."
Umar sighed. "I know you're one heck of a stubborn lady but do give us a call if you need anything."
"Of course, start by getting me some cupcakes on your way back. Hello, on your way back."
He laughed. "Aye, ma'am."
They left for their homes to get ready for work and she got her phone, opened a summary PDF of her next paper and sat beside her husband who's still sleeping, laced their fingers together.
She got consumed in getting what she's reading, all those formulae and structures making her dizzy but she wasn't giving up.
Ali blinked his eyes open when he came around and felt fingers between his just as he's about moving them.
He's feeling weak to the pit of him, all his muscles stiff and mind blocked. He slowly turned his head to view the person besides him and saw her, eyes pinned to the screen of her phone and lips pursed in concentration.
In spite of himself, he wanted to tease her about it, whatsoever she's doing that snatched away all her attention.
But then, he got tranced in her beauty, so out of character for him.
Her bright honey skin, her eyes which were concealed by her glasses, too bad, he thought, soft arch brows, then the nose, slightly hooked at the tip, and the lips... nah, let's not go into them.
He never thought in a hundred years that he'd find a girl like her, scratch that, be given a gem like her, so hard and soft, so stormy and calm, she could be anything at anytime, you could never expect with her, she's full of surprises. At times pleasant, and other times, not quite.
But she's good, too good for a filthy soul like his, he can't keep her, but he wants to. And he's scared, scared of investing in her and then she leaves. Scared of getting used to her and then she gets fed up of him.
Point is, she already is.
I'm fed up. I'm fed up with having to see your spiteful face every day. To having to bear with your choleric attitude and your insults, and your assaults, and your inhumanity and every fucking thing about you. I just hate you...
Her words rang in his head and he couldn't help but cringe.
Busted!
She tore her eyes from her phone to him and a little smile broke her lips when their eyes met.
"Hey," She dropped her phone and gave him her full attention. "How're you feeling?"
Ali couldn't reply, his throat was too sore to emit a sound.
"Lemme get the doctor." And she was up before he could refuse.
The doctor came in and checked if he could breathe without the oxygen, but his breathing became shorter the moment the mask was taken off and the doctor put it back.
He fixed a drip in him to help regain some energy and then left quietly.
"You must be hungry, right?" She sat besides him.
He gave her a faint nod.
"He said you shouldn't be fed something heavy or spicy, maybe fruits, fish, he refused beans, I don't know, you don't even eat beans do you?"
He shook his head, once.
"Okay, just stay here, there's a fruit stall just outside. I'll go get you some. Don't move an inch." She raised an index warningly.
If he's in any state to move, the oxygen and drip on him would have been out ages ago. But God knows what this people put in him, he can't lift a single muscle.
She left the room with her purse and he closed his eyes, his mind wandering, drifting to his mother..., his waiting mother.
* * *
"I'm going home."
"What home? You haven't recovered yet."
Ali pushed one leg off the bed and Khalil held him as he tried bringing down the other.
Ali grimaced, turned to him with a weak glare. "What more?"
"You're still on medication." The doctor stated firmly.
"What medication?" He grumbled. "Haven't you had the dialysis? Not only once I'm sure."
"Thrice."
"Then what more?" He dragged the last word tiredly, taking in subsequent breaths to level his breathing.
"Your system isn't completely detoxified."
"After three freaking dialysis?" He scowled, growing inpatient.
"You overdosed_"
"I didn't."
The doctor's face twisted. "You took in at least twenty alprazolam tablets and_"
"I didn't know." He said in a clipped tone, glaring at the doctor.
"You didn't what?"
"I'm going home." He snatched himself from Khalil but he pulled him back.
"You know you aren't. Not until you're perfectly okay and tell us the reason why you did what you did." Khalil dictated.
"There's nothing to tell, I'm going home."
"Ali, you need rest, and get enough treatment before you get back on your feet."
"You really think I can't now?"
"It's not safe now."
"Tomorrow's Monday, I need to be at work."
"Work?!" Both men shouted.
"You aren't fit to walk a metre and you're talking of work?" Khalil flouted.
"Don't worry about work, you're reported sick." The doctor informed.
"I'm not sick." He renounced.
"You are, Aliyu Hamza." The doctor was getting irritated. "You almost killed yourself, people in your shoes take a whole month to completely recover, do you think doing what you are is gonna lessen that period?"
"It's my fucking life! And I do what I wanna do. You have no freaking right to stop or tell me what to do!"
"Of course we don't, but maybe when your father learns about your continuous suicide attempts, he can tell you how to go about it." Umar frowned.
"Are you blackmailing me?" Ali sneered, peering straight at him.
"Call it whatsoever."
"Okay. Do as you please." He wiggled out of Khalil's hold and attempted standing up.
Amira stepped forward and knelt before him, he sat still as her palms sat on his knees.
"Ali, I know I have no right to ask or tell you anything for that matter but please, think about Goggo, you're all she has to call her own. If nothing, stay alive and strong for her. Please, get better, for your grandma."
Ali squeezed his eyes and gritted his teeth, swallowed the lump that clogged in his throat. Why does she always have to come in?
And Mama,
He hung his head in shame, guilt, how could he think of doing this to her? How could he forget her? His precious Mama.
But he doesn't want this, this life, he's tired, fed up.
I'm sorry Mama, I can't do this.
He pushed her hands away and swallowed back the tears stinging behind his eyes.
"I'm going home." He croaked and Amira lowered her head in defeat.
If bringing up Goggo wouldn't make him change his mind, nothing will.
Maybe she's a little bit wrong...
The men took turns trying to make him reason and just as it's about becoming heated, it completely blew up.
Amira only saw a whoosh of a figure accompanied by a strong woody cologne and the next thing was a smash then a groan.
She gasped and her palms flew to her chest.
"You wanna die huh?" He gave him another strike before Ali could even comprehend what hit him.
"Stop." Ali grumbled.
"How many times have we told you that?" He punched him again and sat him back before he fell.
"Stop, please stop." Amira begged but he wasn't giving her any notice.
"You enjoy this don't you?" He punched him again, not minding that he's already bleeding and on the edge of unconsciousness and sat him back down.
He held his shoulders and Ali's head drooped before him, lolling.
"Suicide, death, you love the sound of it don't you? Making everyone panicked, wasting your life, breathing the scent of Azra'il, ain't that what you live for? Then I'm granting you your wish. I'll kill you today." Now when he punched him, he let him fall from the bed.
"Ali!" Amira jumped in front of him while he tried to lift himself up, spitting blood on the white tiles.
She's amazed that all the men only watched, arms crossed at the scene. Nobody attempted to stop him.
"Salis!" The men all yelled.
Before she could comprehend anything, a black whirl landed a thrash on her husband's back.
Ali groaned and thrashed back to the floor.
"Ali," Her eyes bugged out and hands reached for him.
Salis swirled the belt in his fist and landed it across his back again.
"Stop, please stop." She cried.
She knew firsthand how painful it was to get whipped, and she would wish that only for her enemy, and Ali, no. Especially not in this state of his.
He's about landing another when she yelled at him.
"Are you insane?!"
He stopped dead for a minute and she went on her feet, seized the belt from him and flung it across the room.
"If you weren't so big, I'd have used it on you too." And she didn't wait to see the floored expression on his face as she went back to her husband.
He's still trying to get up and she helped him, held his swollen cheek gently. "Don't worry, I'm taking you home."
"Is she drunk?" Salis asked with a scowl, earning a daring look from Amira.
"Maybe you should get that belt and try using it again to find out."
She got up and got her phone from the chair she's seated on earlier, searched for Mallam Nasiru's contact and placed a call to him, squatted back before Ali and used her hijab to wipe the blood on his face.
"Come with Lawrence to the hospital now." She disconnected after his okay Hajiya.
"Moving him won't be favourable." Umar said.
"Neither was beating the crap out of him." She spared him a glance.
Salis stooped before her. "You're taking him nowhere."
She turned with a glare his way. "So Mr goatee, you might be forgetting you left Bahira in Abuja."
He cocked a brow at her. "Well Mrs Goggles, I'm not forgetting. I said he's going nowhere, and he isn't."
She cocked a brow too. "Let's see you walk your talk."
"He's right Mrs Hamza,"
"You should really keep quiet doctor, for my sanity." She glanced at him and turned back to Ali, tried to help him up to the bed but Salis held his arm, making Ali groan faintly.
Amira darted her frigid eyes to him. "You really wanna know if I'm drunk don't you?"
"He isn't moving from here."
"And I said he is. Let him go."
He squinted his eyes, daring her to do what she's thinking and she caught his wrist, dug her fingers into his skin.
Maybe he wasn't expecting her to hold him, maybe that or her nails in his flesh, he snatched his hand away from her.
"I don't need alcohol to be drunk, and believe me you won't wanna see me drunk. Nobody tells me what to do with my husband, I'm taking him home with me and getting him another doctor. Tell me otherwise."
"You..." He frowned, being at a loss of words.
Umar stepped forward and squatted before her. "Amira,"
"I'm not leaving him here." She cut him off.
"And I'm not asking you to. Just let Dahir attend to him, at home, since that's what you want. But getting him another doctor won't be helping matters, Dahir has been his physician for long, he knows him best."
She looked at Ali's palpitating body, his eyes barely open and sighed. "Okay."
"This girl." Salis lifted a side of his upper lip.
"Let it go Salis." Umar shushed him.
* * *
Amira said a salaam and entered his room, placed the tray of ginger tea and bread on the bedside drawer.
"I prepared dinner, do have something to eat."
Khalil chuckled. "After what happened earlier, I think I'll pass."
She frowned at him. "What happened earlier?"
"Was this how he got married to her?" Salis turned to Khalil.
"She's a full package I tell you."
"Then really, if you've always been this fiery, how comes Ali had a chance to maltreat you? What sort of liver has he?"
She folded her arms on her torso. "You shouldn't care. And mind you, I'm gonna sue you for attempted murder."
They all chuckled and she frowned at what was so funny.
"Please Mrs Hamza," The doctor zipped his medical bag. "I would love a good meal before driving home."
"Yeah doc, taste it first. She might attempt murdering me too you see." Salis teased gaining an eye roll from Amira.
"Y'all should help yourselves, the meal's on the table. My husband needs to eat too." She turned around and sat besides a mute Ali who's only moving his eyes around.
"Gosh, I fear this woman." Salis muttered and hid behind Khalil as they walked out of the room.
"The doctor said he needs optimum rest. His medications should be given accordingly and meals should be light." Umar listed.
"Okay, he isn't getting any more beating right?"
He smiled. "Let's say he needed that, and he didn't get enough. If he gives you a hard time, just give me a call."
She nodded and he left too.
"Prove to them that you've gotten enough okay?" She held his hand in hers. "You don't look cute with a swollen cheek and black eye, and all those wounds... nah, I prefer you faultless. You look better. Now get up, let's eat something. Then you'll have a nice warm bath and then sleep."
She helped him sit up, straightened the pillows so he'd rest his back.
"The tea's still hot." She spooned it in the teaspoon and led it to his lips.
He turned his face away.
"What?"
He stretched his hand and held the cup, shakily lifted it up.
"How stubborn can you get?" She helped him hold the cup so the tea won't spill.
He had a coupla sips and she kept it back.
"Bread?"
He shook his head.
"Fruit salad?"
Shake.
"You'll just have the tea?"
He huffed and said slowly, "You shouldn't be doing this."
Her expression fell at his statement.
"You'll get tired, very soon. So just leave already, I can nurse myself." He said laboriously.
"Ali,"
"Go away. Go read for your exams."
She stared down at the cup in her hand, sighed. "Have your tea and bath, I'll be back later with your pills and the salad."
She kept the cup on the nightstand and left.
Back in her room, she sat on her bed, her mind racing the erstwhile events.
Ali... suicide... renal failure... drugs... overdose.
What did Umar say?
...continuous suicide attempts.
Continuous...
So this isn't even the only time, he does it always.
And the drug the doctor called earlier...
What's the name again?
Gosh, she didn't hold it.
Is that the drug he's addicted to? But it doesn't sound like a hard drug, more of a prescription drug.
Do people get addicted to prescribed medications?
She got her phone to look that up.
After moving from website to website, her bitter truth was affirmed.
But she felt more anxious than relieved.
These are just her suppositions, what if he is addicted to illicit drugs?
Ya Allah!
A knock came soaring through her thoughts and she almost let fall her phone at the immediacy.
She quickly put on her hijab and went to the sitting room, opened the door to meet Khalil.
"Ya Khalil."
"What's up?"
"Ah, nothing. Just have something in my eye." She ran the pad of her index on her lower lashes.
He exhaled some air. "We umm, wanna talk to you. If you're free."
"Hope nothing's wrong."
"Nah, everything's fine."
"Okay."
He led the way while she followed behind him to the sitting room, wondering why they'd call her.
"Mrs Goggles," Salis sat down on an armchair, motioned for her to sit too.
"What's wrong?"
"Just sit and let's hear it."
She moved her eyes to Khalil and Umar but none met her gaze, she sat.
"Uh," Umar ran the tip of his tongue over his lower lip. "Amira let me start by uh, I don't know whether to appreciate first or apologise. Well... Amira you've been a very good wife, I must commend, we all know your marriage to Ali wasn't done in the most fortunate circumstances and we agree it wasn't easy for both of you but frankly, it's harder for you.
"You're the woman, you left behind your family, your home, you came down here with nobody to call your own to live with a man you're literally forced to wed and although we and our wives tried to make you feel at home, you won't be quite at ease if your husband didn't accept you as his.
"Let's get it Ali's stubborn, very stubborn, it's virtually impossible to get him to change his mind. And we all tried our possible best not to let things get out of control between you two but as fate would have it, it still went south. We know it was infuriating and humiliating, not just to you but to each and every one of us but it's still more scarring to you. Do accept our sincere apologies for letting you experience all that alone and for not taking action."
Amira travelled her eyes from Umar to Khalil, then at Salis.
"Why?" She asked. "Why are you doing this and why now?"
Salis puffed. "Goggles we understand Ali's your husband and Islam says to conceal your brother's fault so Allah will conceal yours on the day of reckoning, but, you shouldn't endure and keep shut of domestic violence. I mean you're one fiery lady, or do you keep that side of you away from your husband? Yes, you did the right thing, any normal person would big up to you but Ali isn't a normal person. I'm his best friend, I've known him for almost twenty years, his thinking pattern is different. He learns things the hard way and that's why he believes everyone else learns the hard way.
"The thing is, you kept the reality of your life with him from everyone, if you didn't want to tell Umar or Khalil, you should have told your family. Or Goggo or Mummy H, aren't you close to them all? Yusuf? Farida? At least tell someone who would or get it across to someone who would pull his ear and rebuke him, and tell him what he's doing is wrong and bad.
"And that even after Farida finding out from somewhere else, you're still backing him up, you won't stand up to him and you don't want someone else to. That's not how things are done. Not with Ali. If you're afraid he'd hurt you, bring someone else in. Farouq, Khalil, they know how to approach and keep him in check. They didn't take an action so it won't be like they're trespassing. Since you weren't doing anything about it, why would they?
"And I'm not saying this like giving you fault or something, as I've mentioned earlier, a normal person will praise you to the skies, we are, for your endurance and bravery, for still coming back together with him even though he's the least person you'd wanna see, but Ali's too fucked up to appreciate that. Maybe when he's in a better phase in his life but certainly not this. As you can see we're all trying to see he even lives, just to live and he's making it harder for himself and us as time goes by.
"And I know he's giving you a hard time also, of all times he had to do this when you're undertaking a crucial exams. And we big up to you for still squeezing through your tight schedule and taking care of an idiot like him, as much as I hate saying this, it's true. He doesn't deserve it, not from someone he'd castigated countlessly. So on behalf of him we wanna thank you, earnestly, for being here for him, for taking care of him, for being an exemplary woman. Thanks a lot."
She moved her eyeballs around to wave off the tears that's blurring her vision but a lone one still fell off, she sniffed, ran her index on her cheek to wipe it off.
She sighed. "Nobody's perfect you see, neither am I. I don't see why you should be doing this, what's done is done. It's all in the past. He's apologised also, and I can vouch for him that he's trying, he's trying to be better, to get better. And I don't know what's happening right now. Why it's all happening but, Ali was good in his own way. We were fine before all this came along. I agree, he's messed up, but he knows he is, and he needs to be better, we can all help him be right?"
"That's the very reason why we're all here Amira. We know you never expected all of this, Ali's health condition... we've kept it away from everyone, his parents inclusive. And we would have kept it away from you too if you weren't persistent much so... can we count on you to keep this highly confidential? Like not even your closest person on earth should know a detail about anything that happened."
"Why are you keeping it a secret?"
Salis shared glances with the other men and Khalil spoke.
"It's a pretty long story Amira, Ali's health is highly complicated and his father, Goggo, they all know about it. It's been so for years. Though they know nothing about... the recent 'developments' and we wouldn't want them to get more worried or start blaming themselves for it. That's why we're doing our best, our very best without anyone knowing to keep him going."
"You know the more I try to wrap my head around this situation, the harder it is for me to comprehend it."
"Amira we can't feed you with everything at once, and Ali shouldn't have disclosed it to you the way he did some days back. All you need to know for now is that he did try to take his life and he's a CKD patient. And for that he needs all the care and attention he can possibly get, we want to count on you to keep a close eye on him and to also keep this a secret." Umar trained his hopeful eyes on her.
Amira sucked in a breath and puffed out. "I don't hate Ali so much as to forsake him in such a crucial time like this and this will remain between us and us alone."
Umar smiled a grateful smile. "Thank you Amira and you'll get your answers with time, I promise."
"I owe you a big one goggles, thanks a lot." Salis appreciated.
"I owe you some cupcakes."
Amira laughed at Khalil.
* * *
She said her tasleem, ending the isha prayer. She thus said some adhkars before folding the sajjadah.
She took off her hijab and put on a cap then went down to make Ali a cup of tea before heading to his room.
The last time she went in was before maghrib after Umar and Khalil left. He's sleeping.
She salaamed and entered the sitting room which was unusually warm, they must have turned off the aircon, she thought as she made for his room.
A gasp broke through her lips as she quickly kept the cup with her on his work desk and dashed to him.
"What's wrong? How did you get down?" She asked in a breath, raising his drooped head as he panted for breath.
"Ali? What happened? Why're you on the floor?"
He heaved a breath and held her wrist, breathed again before pulling her hand off his jaw. He dropped his head again and taking consecutive breaths, looked everywhere but her.
She sighed. "Where were you trying to go to? Or what do you need? You're weak for God's sake, why don't you get that? Why won't you just save yourself all these pain and focus on getting better so you could go about how you wish to?"
He completely ignored her and applied pressure on his right arm that's lying on the mattress, supported himself with the left and attempted getting up only to fall back down, going more breathless.
Amira rolled her eyes. "Come," She held his arm but he shook it off.
"Leave." He grumbled, trying to catch his breath.
"Ali _"
"I don't need help. I don't need you. Leave." He stared at her with a weak glare.
She closed her eyes, not wanting to let his words get to her and shoved it off.
"You need rest Ali. The doctor told you that. I _"
"I despise the sight of you. I despise having you here. Just go away will you? Or should I kill you myself?"
"Stop talking like this, please."
"Then leave me alone Amira. Go away!"
"Ali_"
"Let me be with him." Salis' voice cut through their conversation.
They both reared their eyes to him, Ali looked down with a frown.
"Go prepare for your exams, I'll spend the night with him."
Amira turned to Ali then to him again.
"You aren't hitting him right?"
"In shaa Allah."
"No, I'll stay with him then."
"Okay, no violence. I'll just talk, civilian type."
"Promise."
"I don't keep promises, but I won't kill him."
She turned to Ali again and his head was still downward. "I entrust him to you."
"Of course." He stepped into the room while she silently left.
Salis waited to hear the living room door click close before going down in front of Ali.
"The only reason I'm not hitting you is because of that girl." He clamped his shoulder and shook him roughly, making him lift his face.
"That girl wants you to get better. She's trying to help you get better. Why don't you finally accept that you love that girl and make her yours? For life."
"I don't bloody love nobody."
"Really now? Khalil and Farouq told me everything. Really? Working out together? Going shopping? Visiting you at the office? Sleeping on her lap? Ali, you've already trespassed your limits with each other. I don't even get this, you? Sticking to rules? Getting divorced after... when did that all begin? Now you break all those freaking rules and if you haven't, show that girl that she's going nowhere. She's staying with you. Till the day either of you dies. Accept that girl and love her, and let her love you, at least, you'll get a reason to wanna live. When you have a family who look up to you, who wait for your return, who rely on you, you'd wanna stay and see them happy, and be happy."
Ali's quiet for a while, before looking up at him, stared deep into his eyes. "No. I don't need it."
And a blow sent him landing on the floor.
"That's for Goggles."
Ali grunted as he tried to sit up. Salis waited for him to do so before sending him back with another punch.
"And that's for being an asshole."
Ali still sat back up, limp and drooling.
Salis watched him scornfully for long moments before hissing. "Why are you doing this to yourself?"
Ali raised his worn-out eyes to stare at his best friend. After some seconds, he spat. "Fuck you."
Salis bit on his lips, staring at the idiot before him. He sighed and stood up, got a bottle of water from the carton. He uncapped it, took a gulp and emptied the rest on Ali.
Ali closed his eyes and hung his head as Salis did as he wished. He wished he could pounce on him but he could only wish.
Salis then threw the empty bottle on Ali's head and dusted his palms. "Go change into something else and go to bed, if you can't, sleep there." And with that he stepped out of the room, not sparing Ali another glance.
Ali was so angry he felt suffocated. "Fuck you Salis! Fuck you." And as he shut his eyes, the tears freely gushed out. Fuck!
* * *
Sincere apologies for not replying to your comments and messages, I'll try to do that in shaa Allah.
Xoxo❣