For someone who has a hard time sleeping, I slept very well last night. It was one of the best sleeps I've had in awhile. Knowing that it would be my last night sleeping by myself in my own bed, I wanted to cherish it. I took a deep breath and sat up from my bed. Today's the day.
I rubbed my eyes and slowly dangled my feet over my bed, and stood up. I slugged over to my living room and opened my front door to see the package that arrived...my wedding dress. I didn't even want to look at it yet. I got this sick feeling in my stomach whenever I thought about it. Soon I heard my doorbell ring. I marched over to see who it was.
"Surprise!" Gemma stood in the doorway with her arms wide open and a smile plastered across her lips.
"Gemma!" I smiled and gave her a hug.
"What are you doing here?"
"There was no way in hell I was going to let you get ready for your big day all by yourself!"
"Please, come inside." We made our way onto my couch and Gemma squeezed my hand.
"So...I've been dying to know." She looked at me, "who's the man?"
I sighed, "you're not going to believe who it is"
"Just tell me!" Gemma nodded with a grin on her face
"Grant Holden." I rolled my eyes
"No way..." Gemma's eyes widened, "You mean the handsome, rich, powerful government official Grant Holden?"
I nodded, and looked down at my hands.
"my best friend is mated to THE Grant Holden?!Oh my gosh Ev, I'm so jealous! He is sooo dreamy" Gemma gushed.
"Dreamy?" I shook my head, "If anything he's a nightmare. I would give him to you in a heartbeat if I could." Gemma looked at me like I had ten heads. "Ev?" Gemma raised her eyebrow, "are you doubting the system's choice for you?"
"Well...I don't know Gem. It's hard to explain. I just feel like they might have messed up or something" I tucked my hair behind my ear. "I just don't feel he's right for me"
"Don't speak like that!" Gemma held her hands to my lips, shielding the words that were about to come out of my mouth. "Do you want to get yourself arrested?" Gemma yelled.
"hush Gem" I grabbed her hands and took them off my mouth.
"Aren't you happy?" She asked. No. I'm anything but happy. But everyone in Detra has to be happy. If the Government finds you unhappy...they send you to the chamber, and that's something I dreaded.
"Of course" I said, forcing a smile across my lips and touching Gemma's hand.
"Ok Good...now let's get you ready"
Gemma began to do my makeup. She was very good at makeup, and wore it everyday. We are only allowed to wear certain makeup colors though, because Detra Gov doesn't want anyone looking unnatural. I felt the soft tips of the makeup brush glide across my face as she blended in some foundation and blushed my cheeks. She held up dark black mascara and swiped it on my eyelashes. My eyelashes were already pretty long, so the mascara just made them look even longer. She asked me to pucker my lips as she gave me a crimson red lip. She finished off the look by brushing some gold shimmer onto the top of cheekbones and insides of eyelids. I gazed in the mirror at my reflection. I looked as if I aged 5 years...I barely recognized the person looking back at me in the mirror. She was very pretty but...she wasn't me.
After that I carefully stepped into my dress. I slipped the straps over my shoulders and admired it in the mirror. It was a silky white dress with a low v neck that reached to about halfway down my chest. It fit tightly around my slim waist and gradually got looser towards the end, where it flowed into a long silk that trailed behind me. Lace flowers embedded into the dress cinched my waist and cascaded down the ends, and shimmered down the sides. It was beautiful. I've never put anything so elegant on my body before...so why do I still feel the same. I should feel beautiful wearing this gorgeous dress and makeup...but I just feel ashamed. I'm not dressed up for myself...I'm dressed up for him.
"Wow Ev" Gemma said eyeing me from the feet up "you look...you look so beautiful"
"Thanks Gem...but I can barely walk in these shoes." I finished the look with high white heels that lace up my legs. I've never put on heels before...I've also never realized how difficult they are to walk in. I tried to stand up and stumbled over myself, I fell in Gemma's arms, as we laughed. It was nice having a laugh with Gemma...even finding a tiny bit of happiness over tripping in my heels made me feel better. I could see Gemma looked at me...I could always count on her to make me feel happy. Gemma and I knew each other for as long as I could remember, we were even put in the same Job segment and went to nursing school together. I love her to death but she just doesn't understand how I feel. She's living the perfect life, with the perfect mate and perfect job, like she's supposed to. She's happy, and doesn't think twice about any of Detras rules. How come I'm not living the perfect life like I'm supposed to, why do I think so different?
"Thanks Gem" I gave her a hug as she smiled at me.
"We should get going"
"Right" I sighed. This is it.
my heart raced as we arrived at the place where my wedding was going to be held. It was outside under a canopy with flowers cascading down the sides. It was nice. Hundreds of seats filled the area. I don't know that many people. I guess Grant does.
I met up with my mother and some of her friends. Her and her friend had tears thier their eyes and kept reassuring me how beautiful I looked and how proud they were of me. This whole thing was sicking. These random ladies coming up to me saying how proud they are of me. I didn't do anything. This wasn't my choice, there's nothing to be proud of.
The service was about to begin. My heart dropped to my stomach as I peered out into the isle and saw hundreds of people sitting patiently, waiting to see my face. How many people does he know? I felt sick in my stomach. Soon, I saw Grant standing under the canopy. He had that disgusting sky look on his face. The "I'm getting what I want" look. I sighed and squeezed tightly to my dad's arm.
"Are you ready sweetheart?" No. No I'm not ready. I'm not ready to be given away to that monster. I'm not ready to live my whole life unhappy as everyone around me is filled with joy.
"yes."
The music started to play and my dad escorted me down the isle. With every step my laced up heel took, the closer I got to being united to him. He looked at me...undressing me with his eyes, then looked over at his friends sitting in the front row. He gave them a look like, "l can't wait to bang her tonight" they gave him a thumbs up and he grinned. Men are Disgusting.
I trailed though the isle has hundreds of eyes studied my every step. I nervously clicked my heel onto the canopy and my dad let go of my arm. I took a deep breath as I placed my hand into Grants'...he looked at me with his cold, vile stare. His hands were warm...like he couldn't wait to put them on top of mine, and I could tell that a thousand thoughts of what he was going to do to me raced through his head.
"Friends and family..." the priest began.
The entire service I just stood there, trapped in my own thoughts. I was trying to figure out some way I can escape this...but it was already too late. I'm standing, saying "I do", about to be wed...there's no way out. But I can't live with this monster of a man. He doesn't even see me as a person, he talks to me like I'm his little pet...I won't let him get what he wants. I can't pretend I'm ok with this for the rest of my life. I can't just sit there and watch as my every move, every thought, every feeling, is being controlled. I'm not going to deal with this fucked up government system any longer. I can't. I just can't handle it.
"Now" the priest continued as I refocused my attention, " does anyone object?"
The room was completely silent. "Say now or forever hold your peace..."My heart began to jump out of my chest. I looked into Grant's eyes...his cold unbearable eyes. I took a deep breath and suddenly the words slipped out of my mouth...
"I..." everyone's eyes turned to me. "I object." I said boldly.
The whole room gasped and started gossiping as I took my hands off of Grants and pulled away from him. He looked at me angrily, and clenched his jaw. The whole room stared at me as if I just committed a crime. Wait...did I commit a crime? Grant grabbed my wrists tightly and pulled my hands violently towards him.
"Now listen here you little bitch. You don't have a choice." He clenched his fingers into my hand tightly
"please your hurting me-"
"-How could you do this to me" he screamed as he dug his nails into my hands so tightly they began to bleed. He picked his hand and struck it across my cheek, as I stumbled to the floor of the altar. My hands dug into the cold ground as I peered up, my cheeks flushed and red, and looked out into the crowd as everyone sat silently looking at me. My parents, Gemma...just staring. This man just hit me, he hit me, and nobody's doing anything to help me? I'm still the problem? Tears rolled down my cheeks as he scolded at me.
"Get up you whore, were gonna finish this now." I looked up at him with a sickening stare.
"Father..." he took a deep breath. "finish the service now" He ordered. "Get the fuck of the ground!"
I sat there and wondered what I could do. Then it hit me. I picked myself of the ground and I did the only thing I thought I could do. Run.
I jolted up from the ground and bolted into the woods, as the eyes of everyone in the wedding trailed behind me. I picked up my feet, one by one, and ran the hardest I ever could. I ran...not knowing where to go or what to do. I just wanted to get away from this mess. I needed to get out of Detra.
"Get her!" I heard Grant yell.
I looked back and saw police sirens trailing behind me. My heels brushed against the course forest floor, and I stumbled over a log, falling straight on the ground. Stupid shoes. I ripped the lace heels from my feet and kept running. I heard the sirens getting closer and closer. My adrenaline was so high, I did even think about the blood dripping down my hands from Grants grip.
I ran for what felt like hours but in reality was just minutes. My long white dress brushed against the forest ground, becoming torn and distressed. leaves crunched under my bare feet, and it felt as if I were trailing on shards of glass. I wasn't really sure where I was. But it didn't matter. I just keep running. My cheek was burning from when Grant slapped me, my wrists were dripping with blood, my feet were aching, and my vision began to become blurred. I could feel my heart in my whole body and hear every thump of my pulse in my head. I was so tired. But I kept running and running.
Suddenly, the sirens ceased. I stopped running to catch my breath and I looked down at my hands and feet. They were both dripping with blood and my head began to spin. My vision began to blur and the forest around me started to morph into a dark blob as I felt my breath begin to shorten. I grasped my head and fell onto the forest ground. Suddenly it all went black.