Chapter 12
I woke up to a searing pain in my back and groaned from the intensity of it. I turned my head enjoying the feel of the soft material I was resting on as it brushed against my face but I was afraid to open my eyes lest the pain became greater. When I felt something moving against my skin I opened them.
The first thing I saw was a familiar mirror, shattered and propped haphazardly against an equally familiar grey wall. On the ground just below it lay glass fragments, some small and almost unnoticeable and some huge and jagged. I was in Carson’s room I realized, which could only mean that whatever was moving against the raw skin of my back was being manipulated by him.
“Carson.” I said his name softly. The movement stopped for half a second then it started again. He didn’t answer and my heart fell. He was obviously still upset with me for disobeying him.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have disobeyed you…I- I’ll-“
“Just stop Laken,” his voice sounded hoarse like mine usually did after I had had a good cry, but of course that was impossible. Carson never cried. Ever.
“I’m the one who should be sorry, look what I did to you.” his voice broke on the last word and I turned my head slowly to look around at him. He was still dabbing the cloth against my aching flesh and he didn’t look away to meet my eyes. I frowned, something wasn’t right here. Despite the pain I was feeling and the utter exhaustion, I could tell something wasn’t right with him.
This was not the same Carson I’d gone to the movies with just last night. That Carson had been full of smiles and warmth and excitement. This Carson just looked…lost. Totally dejected, as if society had turned its back on him and he was left all alone in the world. It scared me, this look. I would have preferred him angry, eyes blazing rather than looking like this. It took awhile for me to understand his mood, when I did it was certainly an eye opener;
He felt guilty for what he did! I wouldn’t have believed it if I wasn’t here to see him for myself. He felt guilty for punishing me! The thought alone, made me feel bad myself.
“Carson, it’s ok, I don’t blame you you know… what I did was wrong and I deserved to be punished for it...so you can stop feeling guilty over it.” I said, resting my head against the pillow once more.
“Guilty? I fucking loathe myself right now! and you did nothing to deserve that kind of punishment. Nothing.” His voice was harsh as he said this.
I raised my head to look him at him again, this time his eyes came up to meet mine. “I don’t care what you did Carson.” I said tiredly.
“Laken you don’t-” he interrupted.
“No! I don’t care what you did to me, it doesn’t matter, I don’t blame you for it, you could do anything you wanted to me and I wouldn’t care because I…I love you…I love you and I just don’t care.”
There I’d said it. I finally told him how I felt after years of staring and longing and heartache. It was time he knew. I’d already been through the worst; this seemed like a piece of cake in comparison and I had a hard time believing it could get much worse.
As the pain got to be too much for me and the exhaustion began to take over, I lowered my head once more, but not before I’d seen the look of shock on his face, then the gentleness enter his eyes.
I heard him move then I shivered when I felt his lips on my flesh. He gave me a small peck, right there on my back amidst the torn flesh and dried blood. Nothing could have warmed my heart more. I didn’t even need a reply from him. Whether or not he loved me didn’t matter because I had enough love in me for the both of us.
I sighed, contented, then closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep. I didn’t see when Carson moved to stoop in front of me beside the bed, I didn’t feel it when he brushed the hair out of my face, nor when he kissed my forehead. I didn’t know when his eyes filled with tears he dared not shed and as I slept I didn’t hear it when he whispered the words that would have had my heart racing a million miles a second…
I love you too Laken.
-----------------------------
Who knew getting whipped could drain so much of your energy. I’d woken up four times already and each time my eyes opened, Carson was there, putting salve on my cuts, or handing me water, or helping me sit up so I could drink the soup he had prepared. If my back wasn’t so sore I’d be jumping for joy at the attention I was getting from him. He was so sweet and gentle.
We didn’t mention the trial again for which I was grateful, he’d just sat by me and we talked. Well it was mostly me talking, he was pretty silent most of the time which had me guessing he still wasn’t over what had happened but I’d get him out of this mood son enough, I just had to show him that it didn’t bother me and that I was fine.
“I bet my mom’s really worried.” I said to him when he entered the room with a glass of water in hand.
“I assured her you were ok and would be staying here with me for a few days. She thinks it’s part of your punishment.” He explained.
“I get to stay with you?” I asked excitement shining in my eyes. He couldn’t help but smile.
“This is great! What are we gonna do? Maybe we could go out again!” I said. And if I wasn’t on his bed, too sore to move I’d be bouncing around in excitement.
He raised an eyebrow; “We won’t be going anywhere, you’re going to lie in that bed and watch TV or read or whatever until you’re not wincing every time you move.” He said handing me the glass of water and the pain pills.
I pouted up at him, giving him the puppy dog eyes. He chuckled and tousled my hair. I loved when he was in this mood. I quickly swallowed down the pills with the water and placed the glass on the table beside the bed.
“Come sit beside me.” I said when he went to sit in the chair. He conceded and plopped down beside me grabbing up the remote control.
“Hey I’m the injured one, shouldn’t I get the remote?!” I said then reached over, only wincing slightly to grab it from his hand. He evaded me, laughing at my efforts.
“You’ll be asleep in like a second, so there’s no point.” He said with a chuckle then kissed my pouty lips.
“No I won’t I’m not even tired anymore!” I said, adjusting myself carefully to lie flat on my stomach with my head in his lap. He straightened his legs so I could see the TV and began running his fingers through my curls. In an instant I was out like a light.
When I woke again it was night. Carson was stretched out beside me fumbling with his leather arm band. He seemed deep in thought because when I cleared my throat he didn’t budge until I did it a second time.
“Oh you’re awake.” He said giving me a sad smile.
I thought he’d been over this! Why couldn’t he just forgive himself and move on like I’d done? I know it was all still fresh in his mind, being that it had only happened this morning but jeez.
I was about to berate him on it when he spoke
“You never told me why you went back into the woods.” He still fumbled with the arm band, not looking at me.
I don’t know why but something told me it would be best not to mention the wolf. Call it sixth sense or whatever but a bad feeling came over me when I thought of telling him.
I thought briefly about lying but if this morning had taught me anything it was that doing the wrong thing only got you in bad situations.
“Just saw a wolf and it seemed friendly so I followed it.” I said trying to downplay the whole thing.
Carson just looked at me.
“So you’re telling me... you disobeyed my orders and got yourself punished all because you wanted to play with some wild wolf?” he asked. Not angry just a bit frustrated.
“Well…when you put it like that it does sound a bit silly…” I joked.
“I just can’t understand you...how are you in such a good mood after what you went through?” he was having a hard time understanding.
“Because I’ve already accepted it. It’s in the past now, the worst is over I’ve already put it behind me and you should too.” I said to him.
He stared into my eyes for a few minutes, silent, as if assessing my words. I held his gaze, then smiled when he said;
“When did you get so wise?” and I knew everything was going to be alright, he’d get over it and we would be able to get on with our lives.
“Been this way since birth, it’s not my fault you’re unobservant.” I joked.
It was times like this that I had to wonder why I’d ever been afraid to talk to him or why I’d even feared him. He was so gentle. What was there to fear? Spending so much time with him had shown me his true colors.
He might appear tough and mean on the outside, but on the inside he was the sweetest person you could find. Protective, fair, caring and dependable. He was perfect, the only thing he wasn’t was mine and right now that was the only thing that scared me.
…………..
“Wha’d you mean it’s stupid? It’s one of the best romance movies out there!” I tried to convince him.
It was Friday morning, three days after the trial drama and we were lounging on his bed, eating ice cream. We’d just finished watching a movie on DVD when he’d told me he thought the movie was a waste of time.
“Did you see those werewolves? Ha! It was crap, the storyline was shit and the whole damn movie was just shit” he said.
“You’re such a cynic.” I mumbled rolling my eyes at him, “Maybe if you’d read the book you wouldn’t be saying that.” I continued, scooping up some ice cream and sticking it in my mouth.
“I just wasted two hours of my life watching the thing Laken, there’s no way in hell imma sit down and read the thing.” He said with a laugh, then frowned when he went to scoop up some ice cream from his bowl and noticed it was empty. He looked over at me, eyeing my dish.
“Oh no you don’t, nobody told you to eat so fast, this is mine.” I teased, then shifted the bowl away from him with a mocking grin.
“Oh really? It’s like that huh?” he grinned and I watched as he stretched over to his bedside table and opened it, extricating a large bag of sour skittles.
I loved sour skittles! It was my all time favorite candy and he knew it.
My eyes narrowed as I glared at him. He tore open the bag and threw out a few into his palm. When he stretched his hand out as if offering me some I grinned and moved to take them from him only to have him quickly draw it away.
“hmm…who was it who said he wasn’t sharing his ice cream with me again?” an evil looking grin spread across his face and I rolled my eyes.
“Fine...here.” I said handing him my bowl.
“You’re too easy.” he said taking it from me and handing me the bag of skittles in return. I tuned him out and delved into the bag, lost in my world of sweet sour goodness.
…………
“You talk to your mom?”
“Yeah, she was crying again.” I shook my head, “She thinks you’re not treating me right.” I said with a shrug.
“Maybe-“ he began but I cut him off.
“No, like I said, I’m not ready to go back yet, I just wanna stay here with you for a while.”
I could see him smiling from where he crouched on the floor scooping up what was left of his mirror. After a week and a half, he was just getting around to cleaning up the mess he’d made on the day of my trial. It still amazed me that he’d actually smashed the mirror with his fist. That had to hurt.
“You’re gonna have to go back eventually you know, I can’t keep you from your family.” he was saying.
“They can visit and I’ll visit them.” I pleaded.
“As much as I’d love having you live here with me Laken, it just wouldn’t be right, they’re your parents, they need you just as much as you need them.” He said, trying to be all wise again.
I knew he was right though, plus the pack would get suspicious, me living with the Alpha and all. I had to go back. I had to admit though, the past week and a half had been great,waking up next to Carson every morning had been the highlight of my days.
We’d spent so much time together, I don’t think there was one thing I didn’t know about him and not for the first time I found myself thinking I would never regret being punished that day because look where it got me, got us?
I got up from the chair and went over to his closet mirror, twisting so I could see my back; it was still sore but not as bad as the first few days had been. The cuts hadn’t healed yet and I had to take care in how I moved less I jerked it the wrong way and stunted the healing process.
When it eventually healed it would leave four angry looking scars. If I hadn’t fainted that day it would have been ten and I shivered at the thought then turned to see Carson looking at me, his eyes sad, but when he noticed I’d caught him staring he put on a bright smile and turned to empty the scoop. He wasn’t fooling me though. I knew he still felt guilty but at least he seemed to be trying to put it behind him.
“Thought maybe we could leave the house today, go out for pizza or something.” He suggested and I brightened considerably.
“Finally!”
“And maybe you can call your friend Lyla, ask her to come along.” he said again.
I beamed. I hadn’t seen Lyla in what felt like ages! And maybe I could get her to bring Matt too. It could be like a double date!
I grabbed my phone off the bed and dialed her number.
AUTHOR'S NOTES
AND HERE IS CHAPTER 12! WHEW FINALLY! NOW I CAN GO READ SOMEONE ELSE'S STORY..
ShOuT oUtS: To Enderhowl, my nocturnal twitter buddy and to NobodyButSomebody, who I don't think likes my Carson very much :). Thanks alot guys!! <3
ENJOY AND LEMME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK.
MY TWITTER: @TwinZ_Double
-DoUbLe.A
-unedited.