Kumurap ako nang ilang beses bago mapagdesisyunan na hindi na ako pinaglalaruan ng nakikita ko. He was still smiling at me but I decided to look away. Masyado na kasing matagal. Maybe he's waiting for me to acknowledge him so he should stop smiling now. Baka kasi dumaan ang hinihintay niya at hindi niya mapansin agad.
I won't assume that he's here for me. This place was too wide that I consider meeting him was a coincidence. Isa pa, ano pang habol niya sa akin? What we have before happened for too long that it can be written in an history book. I don't even find ways for him to smile at me when he spotted me. To be honest, he doesn't even need to be friendly at me, but it would also be rude if he's hostile.
Imbes na ituon ang atensyon sa mga hindi makabuluhang bagay, nag-focus na lang ako sa paghihintay ni Theo sa pagsagot sa tawag ko. Seryoso, tulog ba siya? Ilang missed call na ang nagawa ko pero hanggang ngayon ay wala pa rin akong napapala.
I was looking down on the ground while tapping my foot when a pair of shoes appeared in my sight.
Iniangat ko ang ulo ko para tingalain ang may ari ng mga sapatos na iyon.
I already have an idea of who he was, what I wanted to know was why did he approached me when there is no reason for him to do so.
"What can I do for you?" I asked formally, unaffected.
"Hi." Imbes na sagutin ang tanong ko ay iyon ang sinabi niya. He even offered me a wide smile that kept me off guard.
Ewan ko kung bakit pero parang naninibago ako na makitang ganito na ka-friendly at ka-approachable si Alek ngayon. It just seems weird because what I knew well was the past Alek and not this one in front of me right now. Kaya siguro natitigilan ako.
"Bakit?"
"Can you come with me?"
My eyes turned into slits. Why should I do that? And why should I trust to be with him? Kasasabi ko lang na kakaiba na ang lalaking kaharap ko ngayon, how could I be sure that I'm safe with him? Nakapagtataka rin kung bakit niyayaya niya akong samahan siya kung ganito namang kakikita lang namin. It's suspicious.
Nakita niya ang ekspresyon ko kaya napaatras siya ng isang hakbang at natawa. "If you are having second thoughts..." Itinuro niya ang guard na nasa harap ng building. "Remember that the guy knows me and right now, he is watching. So if ever something bad happens to you, God forbids, I'm the one they'll point." Tumango ako. Ibig sabihin ay madalas siya dito. Hindi ko na inisip pa kung ano ang rason.
I found myself getting into his car after minutes of scaling the pros and cons. Baka magpahatid na lang din ako sa kanya pag nagkataon dahil hindi ko makontak iyong isa. Kung makatsamba, kakapalan ko na lang ang mukha ko at magpahatid bilang kabayaran sa pananakit niya sa akin dati para quits na kami. Ganoon lang kasimple ang kabayaran dahil hindi na ganoon kasakit.
He took me to a restaurant which made me so confused. Why did he take me here? If he wants to talk, he could simply say everything he wanted to back in the car. Gusto ko na rin kasing makauwi.
"Why did you take me here?" I asked exactly when the waitron took their leave. I just cannot keep my mouth shut when curiousity is killing me.
"I want us to talk."
"We are already talking," I pointed out
He smiled when he heard me say that. "Us. About us."
"There's no longer us. It's you and I, separately. We have no business with each other anymore."
"Exactly. I want to take us back to before. I want your business to be my business again." I wanted to look underneath those eyes to find out if he's kidding. I don't know if even his sense of humour had also changed.
"That's impossible..." I muttered under my breath. Kung ganoon, bakit nandoon siya sa kumpanyang iyon? He's probably waiting for someone, especially that he's talking to someone over the phone when I spotted him. Parang ang layo rin kung pupunta siya doon dahil engineering ang course niya. He had no business to go there.
Tumaas ang kilay niya sa narinig. "What made you say that?"
"It seems like you are seeing someone by the way you wait outside the building."
"I know you know me as someone who doesn't play girls' hearts. I'm not here if I'm not serious about you."
Tumikhim ako sa narinig. Nakakagulat pa rin ang paraan niya ng pakikipag-usap. It's like he's playing words on his mouth.
"Why are you there then?"
"My mother, the CEO, owns that accounting firm. I heard they are planning to hire you so I took the opportunity para kitain ka."
Natigilan ako sa narinig na impormasyon sa kanya. I didn't know that one of my boss owns the service company. Ni hindi man lang pumasok sa isipan ko na magkaparehas ang apelyido nilang dalawa. I could not blame myself for that matter though, masyadong malawak ang lugar na ito... Paano ako sigurado na lahat ng magkaka-apelyido ay blood related?
What I'm feeling right now is guilt. I just realized that I barely really know anything about him. Aside from his likes and dislikes and basic info, wala na.
I don't even know his family members, except Alesya, of course.
Natigilan ako sandali nang may mapagtanto at tinaliman ang tingin sa kanya. "So, that's the reason why you are too confident to point any employees inside the building. Kasi kakampi mo sila. Pag may mangyari man sa akin na masama, pagtatakpan ka."
He laughed because of that. I'm not even joking. "Hindi ka pa rin nagbabago."
We continue to talk. Mostly, tinatanong tanong niya ako kung anong nangyayari sa buhay ko but all the time ay tungkol na sa kanya ang kinukuwento niya. I don't really mind. Whenever he tells a story in his life kept me entertained. Parang nakakahabol ako sa mga nangyari sa kanya dati.
When our orders arrived, he stopped the conversation and we just concentrated in the food. I know that he still wants to talk to me but is considerate. Alam niyang ayaw kong nagugulo ang pagkain ko. That's good because I am deeply famished.
May mga bagay pa rin talaga na hindi nagbabago at isa na doon ang hindi paggulo sa akin ni Alek kada kumakain dahil iyon ang pinakaayaw ko.
After that, he paid the bill and ushered me outside. Siya na rin ang nagbukas ng pinto ng kanyang sasakyan. Ngayon ko lang napansin na siya na pala ang nagmamaneho ng sarili niyang sasakyan. I haven't noticed it earlier because I'm overwhelmed to see him in flesh. It made me wonder where the hell was Kuya Lito now. I do hope he was still serving the Obregon family or if not, he was still working for someone else or start a business. Nakakaawa kung wala siyang trabaho dahil sobrang hirap ng buhay.
Naging tahimik lang kami sa byahe. Maybe because he ran out of topics while we were still inside the restaurant.
When the red light beamed, he stopped and instantly turned his gaze on me. "Sol, I hope pag-isipan mo ng mabuti ang pinag-usapan natin kanina. Umaasa akong binigyan mo ako ng chance."
I looked down and played with my hands. I still don't know what to answer and it's making me uncomfortable. We just met but he already talked about that. I admit that I'm in favor of getting back with him but I don't know if it's the right time. Isn't it too quick?
Naramdaman niya ang pagkailang ko kaya tumawa siya para mawala ang tensyon. "You don't need to rush things. But please, if you're gonna bring good news, tell it to me on Monday morning. I want it to be my mood booster. And if it's bad news, would you test your patience and tell it to me on Friday? I don't want to enter class with a hangover."
Natawa ako bigla sa sinabi niya. Naalala kong nag-aaral pa rin siya hanggang ngayon. Sila Tori kasi at Markian, naunang grumaduate dahil trimester ang acad year nila.
I'll take note of that.
I waved my hand when he dropped me off in front of the building of his family's company. Tumango siya bago nakangiting umalis.
I was busy watching the car be gone out of my line of vision when my phone rang from my bag. Agad ko iyong kinuha at napapikit ng mariin ng makita kong si Theo iyon.
"Fuck..." I silently cussed.
Agad ko iyong sinagot at luminga-luminga sa paligid. Maybe he's already here.
"Saan ka?" I asked.
"Nandito."
"Nandito rin ako."
"Saan nga?" I rolled my eyes. How can that help?
Narinig ko ang pagtawa niya sa kabilang linya. "Sa may gilid. Bandang right."
"Okay. I'll be there." I quickly ended the call.
Nakita ko naman agad ang model ng kotse na sinakyan ko kanina pero dahil unfamiliar at hindi ko memorized ang plate number, I needed to make sure that the one inside is Theo. After all, the car model was too common and I can clearly see a similiar one several steps ahead.
I knocked on the window where the driver seat was located and it immediately rolled down. Ibinungad no'n si Theo na nakangiti pero parang pagod na pagod na.
Agad akong umikot para makapasok sa loob. "Sorry. Naghintay ka ba nang matagal? Nakalimutan kita." Before I received the call, marami na siyang pinadala sa akin na mga messages na nagtatanong kung saan ako.
"Sige lang. Sorry rin. Natagalan."
Nakalimutan ko ang inis ko kanina nang biglang sumulpot si Alek kaya walang kaso na sa akin ang paghintay kanina.
"Nakatulog ka?" Tanong ko nang isuot ko na ang seatbelt.
Agad siyang umiling. "No. May problema lang."
"What is it?" My curiousity hits me.
"A fellow law student barges inside the café. Hinahanap ako, nangungulit."
Tumitig ako nang matagal. "Babae?"
Nahihiya siyang tumango.
"It's no surprise. You're charismatic, in case you don't know."
Pinanood ko kung paano niya ipatong ang siko niya sa may pane ng bintana at ipinuwesto sa pagitan ng ilong at labi ang hintuturo habang ang apat na daliri ay nasa ilalim ng labi.
Nagkibit balikat na lang ako.
Sounds can be heard inside of the car but it's not a song, unfortunately. It's a voice recording of someone that's speaking about law. Just hearing it make my head wreck. Iyong tipong walang pag-dadalawang isip mong hahablutin ang telepono para itapon sa open window.
I was really amazed with the law students' intellect. Iyong tipong mapapatunganga ka lang kada kaharap mo sila. Ibang case naman si Theo at Asher dahil kada kaharap mo sila ay normal naman silang kausap.
"Hey, I'm gonna ask you a question," sabi ko na lang para ma-distract dahil mahahati na yata ang ulo ko habang nakikinig sa sinasabi ng lalaki sa phone. Ayaw ko man pakinggan at intindihin ang sinasabi ng lalaki pero hindi ko mapigilan ang utak ko. Sadly, my brain cells can only understand half of it.
"Fire away," he answered with his eyes not leaving the road.
"Say, if I patch things up with my ex, will it be okay?"
Sandali siyang natahimik pero naging pasensyoso ako. I know that he's intelligent and quick to put things two into two. By now, his mind was digesting the information that I probably met my ex boyfriend.
Thinking about it, the Philippines may have a large landmass size but hello, we're overpopulated. It's not impossible to bump into someone you haven't met for a while.
"Sa tingin ko, okay lang na makipagbalikan ka... Hindi naman ako ang masasaktan kung sakali," he answered nonchalantly. Sa sobrang inis ko ay nasuntok ko siya sa braso at tuluyan nang natawa. Natawa na rin siya.
"But in a more serious note, if wala ka namang masamang nagagawa o nasasagasaang iba, what's stopping you from doing things you like?" He seriously said making me smile. Sa mga ganitong bagay talaga, bukod kay Tori ay siya lang ang pinakamatinong kausap.
What's with their genes, really?
I nodded in approval. Tama naman siya. It's time to throw off all my uncertainties away. At bakit ako matatakot? Knowing myself, I'm not someone who's going to waste time just because I'm afraid.
Time is platinum.
Besides, I think this is a sign. There's no way we will have meet when we no longer have connection to one another. What if destiny was the one who's playing things between us now?
Paano kung ipinapahiwatig na ng tadhana na puwede na ulit? Na wala nang panggulo? Tapos na ako sa pag-aaral, siya naman ay nasa huling taon na niya. Siya na rin ang lumalapit sa akin. Wala naman na sigurong rason na maibibigay sa akin si Alek kung sakali.
I finally made up my mind and fished for the phone. As I know myself as a woman with little patience, I called him with the number he gave me. Why should I wait for Monday to arrive when I can call him today?