hey you cool person, you should listen to the song you by the 1975, photograph by Ed Sheeran, fallingforyou by the 1975, settle down by the 1975, and one by Ed Sheeran while reading this chapter because it's quite an emotional one :) please vote and comment before anything, I had so much fun writing this chapter so I hope you enjoy it!
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I felt dizzy, I felt confused, I felt my heart ache, I felt upset, I felt so many damn things and I did not know how to control my emotions. Its been about twenty minutes since we left Mark's house and I have so many thoughts in mind. All my mind keeps on replaying is the way Jai's rough hand felt on my cheek and the way my body collided with the ground and the devastated look on Harry's face. It was all too much. It happened too quick, too sudden.
The only thing that was keeping me from going insane was Harry and the way his hand felt on my thigh as we drove back to our apartments. Dry tears stained my cheeks and I was pretty sure I looked like a wreck, but I didn't care in the slightest. The only thing I care about in the moment was if Harry was okay.
"Ari?" Harry said, his voice quiet and softer than usual. I felt his eyes on me but I didn't look at him, I kept my eyes glued to the window because I feared that if I looked at him, I would break down into tears again. "I'm so sorry."
"It's not your fault." I say, my voice shaky and on the verge of breaking down.
"It was my fault actually, I was the one who kissed you." Harry says and I place my hand over his.
"Shut up. I was not talking about that, Harry." I sighed and breathed in deeply, letting the cool air sooth me. "Jai is such an asshole." I wiped at my eyes, feeling the moisture stick to the back of my hands.
"I know." Harry said as he turned into the parking lot of our apartment complex. I don't feel like going home just yet, I feel like driving around the city to get my mind off all of this. "I promise he won't ever do that again, baby. He won't ever lay a hand on you again." Harry promises, leaning forward to press a kiss to my forehead. I nodded and let a few more tears stream down my face. Harry pressed his warm hand against my cheek and rubbed off all the tears staining my cheeks with the pad of his thumb.
"How is your cheek feeling?"
"It doesn't even hurt," I let out a wisp of a laugh but it comes out more of a cough. "It's just..." I try to explain but I choke on my own breath as the tears just constantly stream down my cheeks. I sniffle and wipe the tears on my cheeks, my makeup dragging along with it too.
"Shh... let's go inside." Harry held onto my hand and I took a deep breath to control myself. I simply nodded and unbuckled myself and opened the door to my side.
I held tightly onto Harry's hand as he lead me into the building, my head slumped down so no one can see that I am crying. We pass by a few people in the main lobby and a few people stare at us as we quickly pass by and head into the elevators only to meet a group of teenagers already bundled up into a group in the tight space. Harry wraps an arm around my waist and keeps me pressed against his chest as we squeeze into the elevator with the group of immature high school students. Great.
The obnoxious kids make so much noise which does not relieve the sharp pain in my head and my patience levels are growing thin. Harry can tell I am growing anxious and annoyed so he uses both of his hands to rub over my tense shoulders, slowly relieving some of the stress built up on my shoulders as he uses his thumbs to rub small circles on my muscles. After what feels like hours, the elevator stops and the obnoxious teenagers rush out of the elevator shouting random things along with an endless amount of profanities.
"Finally alone." Harry says as he twirls me around to face him, a wide smile spread across his face.
"I don't think I would have lasted another second with those dumb asses." I say and Harry chuckles.
"You need to relax, baby." His voice is slow and the wicked smirk spreading across his features gives it all away. I feel my heartbeat quicken as his lips land on my neck. His lips linger there for a few more seconds before they trail over my shoulder, a shiver running down my spine. I love how we can go from serious to seductive in a split second, and I know that he is not doing this for the intimacy but to relax me and to cheer me up.
The elevator doors slide open and I pull him off me only to intertwine our fingers as we walk out of the elevator and back to his apartment in silence. This night was insane. I did not expect any of this to happen and if I knew, I wouldn't have went there in the first place. Now as we walk back into Harry's apartment, I feel my heart sink down just a little more and all my emotions crash down onto me again. The small lingering moment of happiness in the elevator was cut short of the realization of everything that happened tonight. There is no way that I will be ever talking to Jai again, I had myself convinced that I had feelings for him for years now but in the end he ended up being a complete dick.
"Are you alright?" Harry asked, worry clear in his voice as he stood in between my legs as I sat on a stool in his kitchen as he made us some tea to get our minds off everything. His hands rested on my thighs while mine remained on his.
"I guess I am still a little shocked about everything that happened." I said, my voice coming out strange from all of the yelling I did tonight.
"Me too." Harry slid a mug full of warm tea over to me and I immediately took it into my shaky hands and gulped down half of it to ease the pain that my dry throat was giving me. "I was not expecting that at all." I set the mug down and realized that the mug he was drinking from was the same exact mug I gave him for Christmas.
"Me too." Harry set down the mug and stared down at his hands in mine. "I'm so sorry, Ari. Things were not supposed to go like this tonight."
"Stop apologizing, none of it was your fault." I said, hoping to ease some of the pain that was caused from tonight.
"Yes it was, if I never kissed you then none of this would've happened." Harry sighs, raking a hand through his already, messy hair. "It's all my fault, if I never talked to you again since the day we met, you would be in a happy relationship with Jai and you both would be happily in love and shit."
"Don't you see that you are the best thing that ever happened to me, Harry?" I wiped the tears already spilling from my eyes and take deep breaths. I don't know why I am crying again, but it seems as if everything makes me so emotional. "Don't you see that I rather be in a relationship with you rather than Jai?"
"You're only saying that because of what happened." Harry rolled his eyes as he finished off his cup of tea and set the mug into the empty sink before rinsing it with water.
"Stop, Harry." I stood from the stool and pushed it aside only to storm out of the kitchen.
"What did I do!" He shouts. I hear him following me as I walk into the living room and plop down on the couch.
"Stop putting yourself down because regardless of what just happened, I will always want you, only you! I don't want Jai, I don't want Daniel, I don't want some other hot guy, I want you, Harry and only you!" I sighed, and sniffled. "Why can't you just see that you are incredible just the way you are?"
"It's not that easy." Harry mutters, standing above me.
I stand to my feet and walk several of steps towards him till we are mere inches away from each other. "I want to show you how incredible you really are, I just want you to realize that you are a better person than you give yourself credit for." I said, leaning into him till our lips were mere centimeters away from each other. "Even if it takes the rest of my life."
"Do you really mean that, Ariana?" Harry whispers, his eyes already glossy.
"With all my heart, Harry." I lean further into him until our foreheads were pressed together and our noses were touching.
"You looked so beautiful tonight," A small smile pulls at Harry's lips and I feel my cheeks heat up a bit. "You're beautiful regardless but you looked real nice tonight."
"And so did you," I compliment him and he chuckles before completely wrapping his arms around the small of my back to pull me to his chest.
"But really," Harry flattens out my hair with his hand as he rest his chin on the top of my head, our arms tangled with each other's bodies. "I promise that asshole will never lay a hand on you again."
I feel my stomach tighten and my heart flutter as he gently presses his warm lips to my forehead before pressing our foreheads together again. "Just as long as I am with you, I know I am safe."
"You are."
A grin pulled at my lips as I let out a blissful gasp of a laugh, unable to respond as he leaned down to press his lips to mine for one more delicate kiss. At this moment I felt all of the horrors from Mark's house and the thought of Jai, crumbling down and leaving my mind as all I focused on was Harry and the way his lips formed so perfectly around mine. No one has ever made me feel this way before, even though I constantly fight it, although I have never experienced it, although I fight it and almost every night I have an inner-battle with myself that I don't feel it; there was no doubt in my mind that I was absolutely in love with him.
Harry's POV.
Surely this was a dream.
Surely this woman standing in front of me was not real.
This moment, and her, are just way too beautiful to be real. I could feel my heart hammering against my ribs, I could feel the heat spread throughout my whole body, I could feel the sizzling warmth in my veins that consumed me in flames, tearing through my limbs and igniting my heart. My mind whirled in one thousand directions but only focused on one topic: Ariana.
I felt my heart stop as I just simply stared down at her. The way her cheeks had a slight glow to them, the way a deep dimple carved into her cheek as she smiled even though she was still obviously upset, the way her brown eyes always seemed to have a slight gleam to them, the way her lips formed a perfect heart shape, had me in complete awe. The steady pounding of my heart against my ribs seemed to pull me into a trance as I held her gaze, too mesmerized by how beautiful she was to even move.
"You're so beautiful, Ari." I said, the awe in my voice stealing the volume in my voice. How could I not be in awe? She is breathtaking. And its not just about her looks, its just everything about her that makes her so damn special. Once you meet a person you feel like you barely even know them, but as soon as you start talking it seems like a switch has just flicked. Soon enough, you find yourself attached to that one person and you relate everything you see and do, to that person because they hold such a special place in your heart. Everything they do just puts you in awe because you're so attached to that one person, everything they do is so damn beautiful to you and you don't know what that beautiful passionate ache in your chest and heart is, but you know you have fallen hard for them even if they do not feel the same way. Never once, in my entire life, has it felt like to be with her.
She lazily smiled before she tightened her arms around my waist, drawing me back down to her. A shock was sent through my body as our lips connected once again. The warm feeling of having her so close to me made all the air knock out of my lungs and be replaced my a new feeling. A feeling that I had been desperately needing for years filled my lungs, my shoulders slumped down and relaxed as I felt it. Something. It was like I had some sort of gravitational pull that drew me towards her more and more- the closer I got, the more impossible it was to get away.
When my lips separated from hers, it felt far too soon. I felt like we needed to be closer, like the feeling of being close to her slowly filled the emptiness in my chest and I couldn't get enough of it. I ducked towards her and reconnected our lips only to send another shock throughout my whole body. I couldn't get enough of her. Everything she did, every small touch and glare she gave me sent a shock through me and I could not believe how captivated by her I really was. I felt like I was addicted to her. I felt like she was the only constant in my life, and I knew that she really was. And as cliché as it sounds, she is the only woman who makes me feel complete. She's the only woman who fills the void in my heart and the emptiness I feel inside, she makes me feel whole.
Our lips moved slowly, as usual. But this time it seemed even better, it felt like all of my worries and fears had just completely dissolved and the only thing I focused on was everything we felt for each other and simply her. Her small hands remained on my chest as my feet lead us down the hall and into my bedroom, our lips never disconnecting. My hands roamed around the wall for the light switch and finally, my fingers flickered on the lights and we continued to walk until my legs hit my bed. We fell back onto the soft mattress, her body falling on top of mine as my back laid firmly against the blankets. My hands remained on her hips as our lips moved ever so slowly around one another, it was all so sweet and full of passion.
There was nothing that could ruin this moment, and even if this room was burning, nothing could ruin what I feel at this moment and so on. My lower lip was trapped between her lips, a small moan escaping my lips as she repeated the action a bit harsher this time. Although this kiss was slow, I couldn't deny the sparks flying through my body as her lips worked and formed so perfectly around mine.
Somehow, her fingers slip beneath the thin white material of my shirt as she tries to remove it but it doesn't move as she realizes that there are buttons. I felt my heart pound heavily against my ribs as the kiss was no longer slow, it was still passionate but I could tell that this kiss was now filled with need for one another to be closer to one another other than just our lips.
Her lips on mine distracted me as she somehow managed to successfully unbutton the shirt and slide it down my arms and throw it onto the floor along with her black heels. She disconnected her lips from mine only to stare at my now bare chest, a small grin plays on her now swollen lips as she stares at the ink on my chest before ducking her head down to attach her lips to my neck. She slowly kissed down the expanse of my neck and my shoulder and dipped lower to kiss along the swallows of my chest as my fingers tangled into her hair to bring her back up to my lips. Our lips moved in sync momentarily before I dipped my tongue into her mouth as her lips parted.
Without any hesitation, we separated our lips from each other's and laid down in complete silence. The only noise to be heard was our uneasy breathing and a vibrating I felt in between Ariana and I. She lazily rolled off my body and laid beside me, our feet dangling off the bed. She pulled out her phone from her cropped shirt, bra looking thing, and took a quick glance at the lit up screen before denying the call and tossing it onto the bed.
I knew who it was, but I didn't want to mention it. I didn't want to break this moment and what we possibly have right now. I didn't want her to break down into tears again, it's always the tears that killed me. Reluctantly, I pressed a lingering kiss to her jaw before climbed off the bed and walked towards my dresser. I pulled out one of my white shirts and shorts and tossed them to Ariana who was already standing and getting undressed.
I wiggled out of my jeans and shoes and climbed back into the bed, only leaving me in my boxer briefs. Ariana hurried and switched off the light and dressed into the clothes I gave her before climbing into bed with me. I switch the television on and flip through the channels as Ariana makes herself comfortable beside me. My arm drapes over her shoulders, cradling her small body as she rest her head on my chest and rest one arm around my stomach.
I didn't really pay much attention to the television though, the only thing I could think about what everything that happened tonight. I wanted to mention something about it but I didn't want to push Ariana too far and make her upset, let alone make her cry again.
"Harry?" Ariana hummed, lightly tracing the ferns on the lower part of my stomach with her delicate fingers.
"Mhmm?"
"Thank you."
"For what?" I asked, my face twisting in confusion even though she cannot see me from the position we are in now.
"Everything." She kisses my bare chest, sending a shock throughout my whole body. "What's wrong?" She asked after I stayed quiet for a little too long.
"I was just surprised how you reacted to everything tonight," I admitted.
"Me too."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, I would have freaked out if you weren't there to help me, Harry. You're the only person who kept me sane at that moment."
"Aren't you upset with me or something?" I asked. I had a feeling that she would be upset with me for kinda beating up Jai like that.
"Of course not. Why would you think that?"
"Because I hit Jai really hard, I think I broke his nose or something." I scratched the back of my neck and bit on my lip.
"He deserved it." Ariana said. "I am proud of you, though, you did well with the whole situation." She praises me further and she tilts her head up to look at me, a wide smile spread across both of our faces.
"I think I threw some real good punches in there, don't you think?" I joke and she sarcastically laughs.
"Ha-ha. But yes, you did punch him really heard I even heard the impact of your knuckles smashing against his face!" She laughs, thinking back to what happened not even an hour ago. "I didn't know you were that strong, though."
"Don't underestimate me, Grande." I flexed my bicep and she hysterically laughs.
"You're so lame!" She giggles before shifting her whole body to face mine. "That's hot though." She teased, biting on her bottom lip.
"You think my strength is hot?" I stupidly ask and she smiles a bit wider.
"Very." She licked her lips and leaned forwards to press another sweet kiss to my lips before laying back beside me.
"Ari?"
"Yeah?"
"So.." I nervously bite on my lip and take a while before asking the question that I have been wanting to know for a while. "Is Jai out of the picture, now?"
"W-what?" She stuttered, sitting up straight to look at me. "Um, I don't know. I think so."
"But he hit you!" I am quick to respond and she rolls her eyes.
"I know that, but do you seriously think that I am never going to talk to him again? Once I am ready to, we need to meet up somewhere to discuss all of this." She mostly tells herself. "Alone of course."
I nod and bite on my lip, fearing what might happen next. The selfish part of me never wants her to be near Jai again, but I know she has to talk to him before anything can happen between us. She lets out a deep breath and rubs her small hands over her face and rubs her eyes with the back of her heads, her makeup smearing on the back of her hands as she rest them back on her lap.
Although she was not speaking at the moment, I could sense that she will still not over the whole incident. She was still upset and it was killing me. She bit harshly on her lip to hold back the tears and I just felt like pulling her into my arms and tell her it was going to be alright, but my body stayed still. It seemed as if my mind was not connected to any part of by body right now. Although my mind was screaming to reach out to her and comfort her, I couldn't bring myself to it.
I watched her as she hid beneath the white blankets and without another word, she scoot to the edge of the bed to create as much space between us as possible. I felt my heart ache a bit in my chest as I realized what I did wrong. Every time I am upset, she always finds a way to cheer me up but now since it is vise-versa, I did not do a single thing to help her.
The selfish part of me switches off the television and lays back into the bed before swinging an arm over her waist to pull her towards me. She scoots further away from me when I manage to pull her to my chest and a deep sigh escapes my lips, my chest falling as all the air leaves my lungs. With a slight sting of rejection and reject in my chest, I cover our bodies with the heavy blankets and shut my eyes.
After what feels like hours of watching the ceiling fan rotate and rotate, a slight movement from Ariana makes me freeze and my breath caught in my throat momentarily. I feel her scoot closer to me and her warm lips press against the bare skin of my chest, sending a shock throughout my whole body. I feel my shoulders relax as she rest her head on my chest and lightly traces the dark ink on my chest as my arm snakes around her shoulders.
"Harry..." she started drawing a deep breath and letting out a shaky sigh as she continued. "You have no idea how afraid I was when Jai started hitting you. It felt as if my whole world was crumbling down and it felt like my heart was ripping apart into bits and pieces. It was horrible to watch you get hurt like that." Her fingers lightly traced over the now sensitive skin on my stomach, an odd shade of purplish black making its way to the surface of my skin. I winced as she applied a bit more pressure to the area and her hand immediately jerked away as she felt my body tense up. She quietly apologized and pressed her warm lips to the bruised area of the moth covering my abdominal area. "You don't know how terrible it felt to see you get hurt by somebody I used to trust so much." Her voice cracked in the middle of the sentence.
Her words were laced with dangerous emotion, and I could sense she was close to letting herself slip into the fear I saw written on her face when Jai first walked into the room.
"Hey, shh..." I whispered, drawing her closer so that our chest touched as I wrapped my arms around her back. My hand gently smoothed down the back of her head as she let tears stream down her face as I kept her into this beautiful, yet emotional, embrace. Tonight was far by the most vulnerable I've never seen her, and it was tearing my heart into two.
There weren't enough words to describe the pain I felt when I saw her breaking in front of me. It had been so clear that she was trying to hold onto her strength as she tried to breath through the pain. It had been so clear that she was not alright and was visibly shaken despite her determination to remain strong. I hope she knew that whenever she was at her most vulnerable, weakest moments, I am here by her feet to pick up her up again like she has done to me so many times.
"How is your cheek feeling?" I pressed my hand to the side of her face as she backed away.
"It doesn't hurt anymore." She admitted and I felt a weight being lifted off my shoulders.
"Good." I said and for what felt like another hour, we remained silent. Sometimes, silence was the best kind of communication possible. Silence just gives you the time to think and think, most importantly, enjoy the person beside you.
"You deserve so much better than this world, Harry." Ariana said out of nowhere. Which I really did not mind because everything she said brung a familiar kind of warmth to my heart.
"Don't say that, I'm no deserving than anyone else, alright?" I said, my tone coming out harsher than I intended it to.
"I just wish you would see how beautiful and incredible you really are."
She was wrong, though. If I was half the man she thought I was, I was extremely sorry.
"I wish I could be the man you think I am, Ariana." I said and wrapped my arms a bit tighter around her as she laid beside me.
"You are though, so much better actually." She yawned and tried to keep her eyes open but failed when her eyes completely shut closed. Her breathing was steady as she slowly drifted off into sleep in my arms, only leaving me and my thoughts.
I wasn't sure when it happened, but I could feel the burning in the pit of my chest. She'd done something to me, somehow managed to melt the cold ice surrounding my heart and somehow managed to reel herself into my heart. The more I resisted, the more I fallen for her. I was broken, beautifully broken, but yet so whole at once.
There was something undeniable between us, it was so strong that no part of my resistance could have denied it. As much as I fought it, resisted it, tried to ignore it, there was no denying...
Ariana has captured my heart, and I was completely, irreversibly in love with her.
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well shit
I am a puddle of tears this chapter just hit me right in the feels im so emotional
they are now officially in love my heart hurts so much guys i love this so much
please vote and comment because I am pretty sure you all enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it 💘 love you all and I hope your week is going well xx