_______________________
Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength.
~Anonynous~
________________________
She doesn't know when she first realized it. The empty feeling inside her. Once she focused on it, it was almost impossible to believe she had never felt it before.
The only thing akin to it was space.
It was a void, pure darkness blocking out the light. Unlike space, there were no stars, no sun. Just the sweeping darkness overtaking her.
It pressed down on her, making it hard to breathe. She didn't feel like she could get any air; she was drowning, suffocating, maybe even—
And yet.
She still woke up each day, went to school, laughed, and lived. She may feel dead inside, but no one knew.
Yes, that's it. No one knew.
Not her best friend who claimed to know her better than she knew herself. Not her parents who raised her, who brought her into this world. Not the babbling sycophants who begged at her feet.
She was utterly alone, even when surrounded by crowds of people.
After her realization, she expected something to change. Maybe her relationships would stop feeling so meaningless, maybe everything would get better.
Nothing did. Nothing changed.
While she may have had her eyes opened, the people around her still kept their rose-tinted worldview. Ignoring the things they didn't want to exist and focusing only on the good.
(If good meant whatever they liked.)
She didn't take notice of him at first. He was just another faceless nobody in the entire sea of them that she passed every day. But then he smiled.
And it sounds so stupid for one simple smile to change her entire life. But it did. He did.
Because in a world where people only smiled at her to keep her happy, to hide their real thoughts, to lie. In that kind of world, well, a genuine smile was more than worth its weight in gold.
She casually asked her friends about him, the one who went through her life unnoticed. She'd have never found him if not for that brief glimpse of his smile.
They looked at her confused, why would she want to know about him?
Nevertheless, they answered her. They told her the stories that floated around about him. They told her what he was like.
It wasn't enough. But the chance she had slipped from in between her fingers, and she didn't even know it.
He had been the air she needed to breathe in the vacuum of space. He had stopped her suffocating, prevented her from drowning, made her really live—
All from afar.
His smile was what she lived for. The secret moments where he thought he was by himself and would let out a loud laugh, unashamed and boisterous. His nose would scrunch up, his eyes would sparkle.
She would've been content living like that, living off his happiness while never feeling her own—
Except that wasn't true. Seeing him happy made her happy. His happiness caused her happiness.
Still. She would've been content (would've been happy) with how she was living, no one besides herself knowing of her love (obsession).
But he left. And he didn't come back. No matter who she asked, no one knew where he went.
The next time she saw him was on a billboard. And by then it was too late.
____________________________________
~o0o~
(6:40)
There were only twenty minutes left before showtime and it definitely looked like it. If I thought the chaos earlier was bad, I didn't know what I was thinking.
This? This is pure pandemonium.
I managed to obtain the information of what the first song would be—Not Today. It wasn't like it was particularly hard to figure out, but I digress.
After recovering from my...conversation...with Hoseok, I had immediately put myself back to work. Not that I knew much of what I was doing, other than whatever it was that people needed.
Surprisingly, as the time dwindled down, fewer and fewer people needed my help. By now, most everything was ready, and all the last minute mishaps had already occurred.
At least I had the time to reflect on my thoughts, I suppose. I haven't really been able to have too much alone time to myself. Sure, when I left the hotel room to grab food could technically count, but I didn't really consider it to be alone time.
While I may be pretty upbeat and happy, I need time without other people around to recuperate. Otherwise, I start to get exhausted.
It's like this story I heard as a kid. Everyone has buckets, and you should fill other people's buckets up with good things and not bad ones. But to do that, you have to take out of your own bucket. And if no one else fills up your bucket, you're left sad and alone.
Empty.
Yeah. It's a pretty bleak story if you think about it.
Moving on!
Ignoring my unintentional pun, I start to look for Hyeon and Areum. Hopefully, if they're not busy, I can talk to them.
~o0o~
As the three youngest members of BTS, Jungkook, Taehyung, and Jimin are usually the most chaotic. Their boundless energy knows no end and you almost feel exhausted just looking at them.
There are exceptions to this, of course.
The crew members knew and accepted this fact. All three of them were serious when they needed to be, and they never did anything harmful to themselves or others.
That doesn't mean they don't play tiny pranks or practical jokes or drive the hairstylists mad when they can't keep themselves still.
That is also why, when the three of them were eerily quiet, they all braced themselves for whatever was coming next.
The reason for their unnatural silence? Akari.
They had previously talked with Sejin about where Akari should be during their concerts on tour. After the...mishap...at the airport, they had all agreed on Akari being somewhere close to them. Eventually, they settled on her being in a private room with a TV that had a livestream of the concert playing.
So, when they saw Akari running around, helping people, they understandably were shocked and a bit upset.
Shocked because what happened to the plan? You know, the plan they argued about for close to an hour? Oh, someone just threw it out the window? Okay.
(Not okay.)
Upset because their soulmate had just gotten hurt—whose bright idea was it to have someone who was recently concussed moving around so much? She was supposed to take it easy!
Upon seeing her, the maknae line shut down. Exchanging looks that screamed "WTF, was this your idea, what's going on?" with each other. Each of the thoughts running through their minds were different, but they were also similar in some ways.
There was nothing they could do about it now—the concert was going to start soon and they had to focus on that. But after that?
There would be hell to pay.
~o0o~
"Okay, start up the opening VCR!" somebody yells, prompting the people in control of the screens to hit play. They had been playing BTS songs for the crowd while everything got set up.
The opening VCR was around three and a half minutes and was almost like a short film. It had shots of all the boys and served to hype the crowd up even more.
The screaming never faltered even as the VCR came to an end; it only got louder. The excitement was contagious, causing me to fidget with the boundless energy I feel coursing throughout my body.
Suddenly, there's a pit of dread and fear in my stomach. It was sickening—clawing me down and holding me back. It felt like I couldn't even take a step forward. It was all-consuming and demanded all of my attention.
I stood, frozen in place, as someone counted down until the start of the concert.
10
What is this? I've never experienced anything like it before?
9
What do I do? My eyes dart around frantically, scanning my surroundings.
8
There's too many people! They're pressing in, surrounding me. It would be so easy to be swallowed up by them, losing myself in all of it.
7
No! This isn't like me. I was completely fine a second ago. What changed? I've never been afraid of—oh.
6
I've never been afraid of crowds in my life.
5
My eyes trail over to where Yoongi is stood on the stage, his head bowed and appearing completely calm and composed.
4
But, I remember seeing an article that said Yoongi is.
3
There isn't enough time for me to reassure him—he's already on stage. It's physically impossible for me to be there and help him.
2
Except, maybe I don't have to be there physically. If I'm feeling his emotions, then it serves to reason that, more likely than not, he can feel mine, right? I shut my eyes, immersing myself in the flood of emotions and push back against it.
1
Reassurance—you're strong, you've come so far, you can do this.
Comfort—I'll always be there for you, you don't have to worry about being alone, you have me.
Understanding—you're doing so good, you've worked so hard, you're not weak.
Love—you're beautiful and flawed and you're broken with jagged edges but so right, how did I live without you? I don't think I can live without you.
I ball up all my emotions that I've been shoving down, scared of them being too much, too soon and shove them towards the little area that's tugging in the back of my head, in the back of my heart.
The curtain drops and the concert starts as the pounding beats of Not Today echo in the stadium. I worry my lip and wait for a chance to see my boys' faces.
A breathless laugh of relief passes through my lips and I relax. I shouldn't have worried.
Because when Yoongi raises his head, his eyes are burning bright with an inner fire, and he's wearing a confident smirk as he faces down the world.
_________________
"G'day, mate!" Rap Monster greets everyone excitedly, glowing with excitement. The resounding applause makes him bite his lower lip to stop himself from grinning.
"Annyeonghaseyo! We are—" he cuts himself off, joining the other members in saying, "BTS!"
He discreetly checks on Suga; he had looked a bit sick when they got were positioning themselves behind the curtain. He had kept going over his dance moves again and again, determined not to make a single mistake.
Which, in all honesty, was typical Yoongi behavior, so it wasn't that surprising. Sometimes, it could be a bit hard to differentiate between the two sides of yourself.
Wait. Let him explain.
It's not like Yoongi pretends to be someone he's not. But, there's a clear and obvious shift when he gets on or off the stage. BTS, as a whole, experiences this, but none as deeply as Yoongi does.
To put it simply, Min Yoongi is Suga, but Suga is not Min Yoongi. He's a part of him, of course, but he doesn't make up the entirety of him like Yoongi does for Suga.
At least, that's Namjoon's perspective on things. He doesn't really think any of the other members know or realize how different they can sometimes be. But Yoongi is the only one Namjoon would say embraces the change, dedicating himself entirely to his persona.
That's not even mentioning Agust D.
What Namjoon means is that sometimes small parts of Min Yoongi will show up—Suga's nervousness for example. Suga usually has a quiet but strong confidence, knowing each and every move, every line with a bone-deep certainty.
It isn't normal to see Min Yoongi slip through Suga's cracks. So, he can't help but wonder why?
______________
Am I Wrong, Silver Spoon, and Dope pass by in the blink of an eye. One minute the flashing red lights of Am I Wrong are just starting up, and the next, Jungkook is making a heart for the ending pose of Dope. After that, they all quickly leave the stage and another VCR starts up.
My boys are drenched in sweat and panting, but they've never looked as beautiful as they did right now.
With joy clear on their faces and smiles that lit up the room, it's obvious to any one who looks at them for even a second that this isn't just a job for them—it's a love.
Slipping around some people, I grab a couple towels for them; they already have water bottles, so I don't have to worry about them being dehydrated. Armed with seven towels, I make my way back to where they're sprawled out over the seats and couches—except, that is, for Jungkook.
Jungkook had immediately changed into his outfit for his solo, a glittery black jacket with a regular white shirt, keeping the black pants he was already wearing on.
"You've got this, Jungkook-ah!" Taehyung cheers as he glomps Jungkook from behind, taking him by surprise. He stumbles forward, thrown off by the sudden weight, before catching himself (and Taehyung).
"Hyung, get off of my back," Jungkook demands, a playful glint in his eyes. Taehyung just grins and shakes his head. He opens his mouth to say something but is interrupted by someone calling for Jungkook.
He takes a deep breath and walks over to the stage. Before he walks out, he turns back and searches the room, his gaze touching everyone for a second then moving on.
It feels like hours (though I know it's mere seconds) before he comes to me, eyes seeking out mine and searching for something within them.
I mentally cringe at how I must look—running around for hours does not lend itself to a nice and neat appearance. Pushing through my uncomfortableness, I crack a gentle smile and mouth the words "good luck" and turn to finish making my way to the other members.
Because my back was turned, I missed out on the delicate blush that slowly crept over Jungkook's cheeks, coloring them a pretty pink.
I don't get to see the corners of his lips lifting up in a barely-there smile as he goes out to find his place on stage.
(But someone else does.)
I try my best to keep a blank face as I quickly hand out the towels. They thank me as I move to go take a seat a good distance away from them. Jin stops me before I can.
"Are you new here?" It's an innocent question, no malicious intent hidden behind it. But his eyes are the windows to his soul and I can see the laughter bubbling up inside their depths.
"Yeah, I don't think I've seen you around before," Jimin joins Jin's little game, curiously taking a step towards me. "It's nice to meet you! I'm Jimin—what's your name?"
'You already know my name, Jimin. You're not funny. You do not have the jams.'
Resisting the urge to facepalm, I introduce myself politely. "My name is Akari. It's nice to meet you as well." There. I can leave now. Because try as I might to ignore it, the feeling of curious (and jealous) eyes on me is too strong.
"Akari? That's a beautiful name," Taehyung piped up, including himself in the conversation. "I'm Taehyung!" he cheerfully exclaims.
I awkwardly laugh, rubbing the back of my neck. "Yeah, I kinda already know your guys' names. You know, you being in a world-famous band and all that jazz?"
Did I really just say "all that jazz"? I can already feel the judgmental eyes staring at me. What is wrong with me today?
"So, I don't need to introduce myself?" Jin pouts, slumping over dramatically. "That's a shame—I had a great joke I was going to use." He's facing forward, so he doesn't notice the grateful looks Namjoon and Yoongi exchange behind his back.
"Jimin-ssi!" a loud voice calls out, making Jimin's face fall a bit.
"That's me. Hopefully, I'll see you later, Akari!" he tosses the words over his shoulders as he jogs over to the person who called his name. They're holding up what I'm assuming is his next outfit—a silver-patterned jacket with a silver tank top.
I weakly wave at him, my attention focusing on the screen where Jungkook is coming to the end of Begin. The emotion on his face is breathtaking and I lose sight of anything else for a second before being broken out of my thoughts by a concerned Namjoon.
"Miss Akari? Are you okay?" Glancing over at him, I see that his eyebrows are furrowed in worry. Yoongi, who had been leaning back against the couch with his eyes closed, cracks one of them open. Taehyung purses his lips and Jin crosses his arms unhappily. Hoseok is resting on a seat by himself, trying to relax.
Before any of them could say anything that would make it way too obvious that we weren't strangers, I throw out the first excuse I can think of.
"I'm just a bit hungry. I haven't eaten in a while." Which, technically, isn't a lie. The last time I ate was at the hotel around 1:00. Even then, it was only some cookies and a small sandwich.
Speaking of cookies, I actually think I still have some (wrapped in napkins) in my pockets! Yes! As soon as I'm by myself, I'll eat them.
While I'm lost in thoughts of cookies, Namjoon, who had been sitting on a couch next to Yoongi, somehow crossed the distance between me and him in the span of a few seconds.
"Are you feeling dizzy or confused? Do you feel like you're about to faint? I think you should take a seat." Namjoon's arm carefully wraps around my shoulder as he leads me to his spot and sits me down.
Um. Okay.
After making sure I'm fine, he moves back over to Taehyung and Jin and starts talking rapidly in Korean. Watching them talk is only amusing for so long, so I turn back to the TV that is showing the stage. The stage where Jimin is currently dancing...with...a blindfold on?
Yup. That's a blindfold. On Jimin. While he's dancing.
Fuck.
I think I need a drink of water. My eyes are so focused on the screen that I don't notice Yoongi's quiet laughter or Jungkook joining the conversation between Namjoon, Jin, and Taehyung.
I could only focus on the startling change between how I usually see Jimin and the Jimin on the screen. To me, Jimin had always been cute and bright. His smile is absolutely adorable and innocent. He is innocent.
The Jimin on the screen is most definitely not innocent. His face is serious, no playfulness anywhere to be seen. His eyes seem to draw me in more the longer I stare at them, almost daring me to do something about it. Almost like a challenge.
And I know it's super silly, but it feels like he's staring directly at me. Akari Bennett. Not the crowd or anyone else.
Me.
Of course, all my calm that I had painstakingly pieced back together after the blindfold was torn to pieces when the motherfucking chandelier dropped down from the ceiling!
Because the blindfold wasn't enough, they just had to go and add a chandelier on top of it?!?!
Pulling the wrapped cookies out of my pocket, I set them gently on my lap and start to unwrap them. I had only grabbed three white chocolate macadamia nut cookies. Mostly because this one lady was giving me suspicious looks while I was wrapping them, so I had decided to cut my losses and leave.
I bite into one as the final note of Lie rings out and the music fades out, leaving Jimin on his knees. Finally paying attention to my surroundings, I realize Yoongi had left to go get changed. I guess he was singing after the VCR finished up then.
And when had Jungkook gotten here? And what were they talking about? Because the way they're looking is making me a bit suspicious.
I'm also conveniently going to ignore the fact that Jimin just walked into the room. Nope, not dealing with that right now. Instead I focus back on the screen that is now showing Yoongi, a piano, and...is that a string quartet?
It totally is.
A cold can of Coca-Cola and a Cadbury Dairy Milk chocolate bar are pressed into my hands by Jungkook. As I tighten my grip around the items, I notice how much he has to bend down.
His height causes him to tower above me even when I'm standing up, so it's more obvious when I'm sitting down. Being 5'4 isn't bad; it's average. Even with it being the national average, I find myself ending up as one of the taller people in whatever I'm usually doing.
Not anymore. Not with BTS. Even Jimin and Yoongi tower over me!
Disregarding my issues with height, why did Jungkook just give me food? Not that I'm complaining, but it feels like it came out of nowhere.
Maybe they were just worried about how long it's been since I ate? Aww.
It's not like I need people to take care of me—I know how to survive. But I won't deny the fact that it's nice to have people that care about me and want to make sure I'm eating well.
And...
...it's nice to have people to care for too.
_____________________________
~o0o~
Sally on Soulmates and Success
It was on her wedding night when her second Mark appeared. It coiled around her waist like a particularly poisonous snake. Her husband lay by her side, snoring gently, unaware of the turmoil and confusion his wife was facing.
She could feel the sharp bite of pain that always accompanied a Mark—she knew the feeling after all. It was just sharp enough to jolt her out of her sleep.
Blearily rubbing her eyes, the first thing her eyes saw was her new wedding ring, resting innocently on her finger, shining in the moonlight.
A warm feeling spread throughout her—this was proof. Proof of how far they've come. From the "Why is your cookie blue?" that adorned her left wrist to the "Why wouldn't it be, soulmate?" that ran down his right arm.
She was so much more than a 24-year old single mother who had just gotten out of an abusive relationship. Raising a toddler while trying to write her own book was stressful and seemed almost impossible.
Almost.
Even though it was extremely difficult, she figured it out and started to succeed. At first, it was the small things. Having enough time to make a good breakfast for her and Percy. Getting a decent night's rest.
Before she knew it, she had somehow managed to clear up enough space in her schedule to attend a writing seminar she had signed up for but had never thought she would actually get to go to.
For the first time since having Percy and dumping Gabe, she had free time, and she was determined not to let it go to waste.
After asking her neighbor's daughter to babysit for the night (she was more than happy to once she mentioned payment), Sally made sure everything was good and that she would be contacted if anything went wrong.
Nothing did end up going wrong. But everything did end up going right. She walked in chewing on a blue cookie—Percy had insisted on her making some before she left—and looked around for a free seat.
The only seat that was open was next to a guy with salt and pepper hair who had his nose buried in a book. Taking another bite of her cookie, she quietly slipped into the free seat, catching his attention.
The man looked up for a moment, went back to his book, and did a double-take.
"Why is your cookie blue?"
____________________________________
A/N: *whistles while looking off to the side innocently* So, what's up guys?
I am sorry for the three week wait—hopefully the longer chapter makes up for it a bit? Most of my chapters are around 3k but this baby is a whopping 4k (which is super impressive for me because I only had 900 words at the beginning of the day). I don't know exactly why today seemed to be the day when all my creative juices were flowing, but it worked out, I guess?
Let's dive in to the chapter! At the beginning, we have a mysterious P. O. V. that, honestly, has some psycho vibes. She's obviously obsessed with someone, but who? And who is she? A new character or someone we already know? After that, we see Akari finally catching a break from running around and focus on the maknae line for a bit. If you think they're too angry, please consider a) she's their soulmate AND their bond is new; this is a very fragile time for their bonding and both Akari and the boys will be a bit overprotective of one another—once the bond settles and strengthens, they should calm down. And b) Akari literally kinda got assaulted and has a concussion. Of course, they're kinda mad that she has to now work in a high-stress environment which is hard to deal with when you're completely fine and don't have a concussion. Sejin better watch out—the maknae line is coming.
Speaking of bond...emotion-sharing? Between Yoongi and Akari? Hmm, I wonder why? I know Yoongi said recently that he's not scared when he performs in front of ARMY because he knows they love him, but I needed a reason for him to kinda be panicking before the concert. Yes, I think I sound like a jerk too.
Moving on! We have a look at Min Yoongi, Suga, and Agust D! I think they're all different and that there's a clear distinction between each one but I know it may have been a bit confusing to read, so I'm sorry if it didn't make sense to anyone!
We get some cute Jungkookness but then some more stalker/psycho vibes are thrown in! Though we don't know if they're a stalker/psycho yet—they could just be an innocent bystander who saw Jungkook's loving smile/upturn of lips directed towards Akari.
There's not as much focus on Begin, mostly because there was already some JK interaction but it is an absolutely amazing song and I love it!
Lie, umm, what else did you want me to do? Blindfold + chandelier = Akari losing her mind. *You may have noticed Akari doesn't usually curse unless she is like emotional—angry, happy, in general any strong emotion. There's a reason for that. Maybe. 😉
First Love is always able to get me to cry—you can feel the raw emotion and childhood memories in the melody. We also have overprotective!Jin, Namjoon, Taehyung, and Jungkook. Hearing that Akari hasn't eaten for almost 7 hours, even after running around helping everyone out? No.
Some insight on Sally's past and how she met her soulmate. If you haven't read PJO, that's where Sally, Percy, Annabeth, and some others are from. I'm not crossovering with PJO in the sense of powers and gods and such. I will be using the characters and their personalities though, so quick disclaimer—I don't own PJO, Rick Riordan does.
I think I covered just about everything. I should be able to get the next chapter out pretty quickly but no promises. Please let me know what you thought of the chapter!
I really hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Please vote and comment! If I made any mistakes, please let me know! This was typed up pretty fast, so I probably made some mistakes. I love you all! Until next time, my fireflies! 💜💜💜
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