"Zoe!" Sawyer bellowed as he followed the determined woman. "Zoe, stop!"
But she didn't listen. Instead her pace quickened as she pulled the door of the conference room open forcefully, using all her strength to slam it shut before Sawyer could reach her.
Linda jumped at the sudden noise, clutching her hand to her chest as her wide eyes followed the furious woman.
She was otherworldly. Fascinating. The secretary couldn't find any other word to describe her.
Her hair was a mess, long, enchantingly black, cascading down her shoulders, curls bouncing in all directions as she dashed across the hall. She was walking so fast. Linda wondered how she could manage to walk that fast in her heels. The woman didn't seem to be struggling at all. She was floating.
And in the eyes of the secretary Zoe was lady gracefulness herself. Sort of comical, considering her line of work.
Her face bare and void of any substance. She had anger and fear as her eyeshadow, frustration had flushed her cheeks, turning into a good blush and determination as her lipstick. Clad in her man's suit jacket which fit her like a dress and black long heels, making her legs seem exceptionally long. She was a masterpiece.
Linda could clearly see why a man like her boss was obsessed with her. She'd be obsessed with her too if she weren't straight. Or maybe she was already obsessed. The woman couldn't help but look at Zoe every time she visited. Zoe was like that. She demanded attention anywhere she was.
Soon after Zoe, Sawyer emerged from the conference room as well, angrier than Linda had ever seen him. And let me tell you, she'd seen this man angry countless of times during the short period of time she'd worked here. The only times he seemed like he wasn't going to bury you alive for approaching him was when Zoe was by his side.
As her boss cursed loudly and pronounced every profanity under the sun. Linda noted he had a very wide vocabulary. She sighed, collecting a few papers.
This won't do. Even though she was young, she was still too old to deal with people like these two. Maybe she should just go ahead and resign?
Being in her boss' presence was putting a real strain to her heart, she was going to be diagnosed with a heart disease pretty soon and not only that but seeing Zoe every day was a big blow to her self-esteem.
"Zoe. Listen to me!"
She ignored him. And somehow, she even managed to reach the elevator before he did, the door closing just as he caught up with her, their eyes meeting briefly before the doors were shut.
Her facade dropped as soon as the secure lift hid her from everyone's view. She sniffed, wiping and rubbing her eyes. Tears weren't coming out but they were there, close to spilling down her cheeks. It was just a fleeting moment. A few seconds maybe? And then those unshed tears evaporated in thin air. Her emotions were gulped down, thrown in a bucket in unknown places inside her mind, to build up with time and ruin he mental health.
The last hour replayed in her head like a broken cassette tape.
Her fists clenched by her sides and her nails digged in her palm. She only glanced down at her hands and the bare, untouched- unscathed spot on her wrists caught her eye.
The sight gave her the sudden urge to see blood. The sick urge to do some damage. She wondered if her nails were long and sharp enough to draw blood?
Only one way to find out.
Absentmindedly, she began to scratch the place over and over and over again while her teeth sank on her bottom lip and chewed mercilessly.
When was the last time she had hurt herself? It felt like it'd been way too long although only a few days had passed.
Why couldn't she have a rest? Why couldn't she be in peace just for a little bit? Everytime she let her guard down, everytime she was happy something happened to throw her out of her paradise and in the cold, harsh reality.
Her siblings were about to be taken away from her. And why? Only because of a f*cking decision that had nothing to do with her.
Why her? Had she talked her grandfather into giving her everything? No. What was her fault in this? How dare her mother accuse her of something she had no part in, deem her unworthy of something that was rightfully hers and even threaten her with her siblings?
The courage of that woman.
The fingers that were raving her skin quickened their pace, the skin of her wrist turned into an angry pink shade as red pearls flowed out of the cuts made by her nails and dried the moment they met air. It wasn't enough blood.
She was like a deprived junkie who was having her fill after a very long time. It felt heavenly.
If only Zoe could do something about it. If only she could get rid of her mother for good. She was tired of her. Tired. Exhausted. Out of patience.
She had tried her best to stay as far away from her mother as she could. She did her best to keep her siblings away from the dirty world she lived in. Made sure her darkness didn't reach them and here she was now.
For someone who loathed Zoe's existence, her mother sought her more than the rich d*ck she was awfully addicted to.
She appeared in front of Zoe all the time. It wasn't enough that Zoe had to see her detestable face everytime in her nightmares, the woman had to appear in reality too.
Why the f*ck couldn't she go and leave them alone? By now Zoe had lost hope. Her mother had turned in a constant repulsive presence in Zoe's life. She was like a leech. And Zoe doubted she was ever going to get rid of her.
At least, not as long as that loathsome man supported her. It was all because of him. Her mother found the courage to do everything she wanted to Zoe without worrying about consequences because she had his support. And that man only helped her mother to make Zoe's life harder. It was like a game to him. He loved it when Zoe struggled.
She was a little mouse thrown in a maze with her limbs tied up while snakes littered around in every corner, taunting her for their amusement.
The taste of blood on her mouth snapped her out of her thoughts and her movements stopped. She glanced at her work once more.
Skin flushed. Puffy. Achy. Drops of blood flowing down her wrist like tears.
Ah! She was a professional. She had made herself bleed with her nails only.
It wasn't enough. It ached. God, it ached alright but not enough to numb the pain she was feeling inside. A pain that wasn't physical. A pain she could do nothing about. Nothing except tear herself into pieces and hope her body was going to be louder than her brain.
The doors of the elevator opened and Zoe looked up. She dropped her hands by her sides. She didn't bother to wipe her bloody hand. If anything she let it display proudly to everyone working on the first floor of this building. Everyone here knew her. They knew who she was. She was aware of what all these people thought of her. None were good things.
The side of her lips curled up, and she licked the traces of blood off her bottom lip.
There had been rumors going around these workers about her being crazy. Was today the day she was going to show them whether what was said about her was true or not?
It must be boring working behind a desk all day for a grumpy, austere man like Sawyer. She could spice their day up a little bit.
She took a step forward and held her head high. Her sad face disappearing into her b*tch one. It had been a while since she had to switch face masks like a professional actor.
Drops after drops, blood dripped down her hand and she didn't care. She hoped it coated the white floors. Plain white was boring.
The cleaner lady thought differently. She frowned when Zoe passed next to her as she was washing the floor.
"Excuse me, miss. You're-" her words were caught on her throat when Zoe turned around and the cleaning lady noticed it was actual blood that had dirtied her floor.
"Are you okay, miss?" A man approached, glancing at her wrist and her. "There's a first aid kit here. You should come and-"
Zoe recognized the man. She didn't know his name but she recognized him. Her eyes narrowed as he approached her.
She was deaf towards his voiced concerns. Instead her brain played all the things he'd said about her with his coworkers. This same man had also visited her shoots quite often with a few of his buddies, justifying his offensive visits as a day of work.
He wasn't worried. Humans were selfish beings. This man approached her only because he hoped to get a chance and bang her.
Who didn't want to have a go at Blythe?
This piece of garbage didn't even consider her as a normal human being. To him and everyone here, she was below them. She was trash.
Up until today, Zoe had professionally ignored all of their murmurs. She had ignored the whispers, the crude words they'd said about her, the mocking laughs, the lust-filled stares which made her skin crawl in disgust. She had quietly been their shooting board, allowing them to throw arrows of words at her whenever they pleased.
Did they think she was stupud, oblivious or had no backbone just because she chose to be the bigger person and remain silent?
"No, thank you." Zoe was quick to reply.
But people weren't quick enough to process the word "no" nowadays. Maybe, no didn't mean no anymore and Zoe didn't know that.
The courageous man gripped her hand and tagged only to have Zoe withdraw her hand.
"You should go with him, dear." The cleaning lady sided with the man.
Invisible smoke was coming out of her ears as her body shook in fury.
Maybe she couldn't strangle her mother to death like she wanted to. Maybe she couldn't use her collection of beautiful knives and newly found human cutting skills on all the people who were to blame for her craziness but she could crush smaller bugs without a problem.
This man was one of the smaller bugs.
"I don't want to." She stated flatly and she looked quite drunk. As if she was in another planet right now, not quiet paying attention to any of them.
"But-"
"I like it." Zoe interrupted him, lifting her hand up and inspecting the red lines and the blood seeping out of them. She was quite amazed with herself. Who knew you could cause this much damage with your nails only? "Red suits me. Prettier than any bracelet out there, don't you think? It'd have looked better if I used a knife but this gotta do."
"You did that?" The lady gasped horrified and even took a step back when Zoe smiled, flashing her teeth.
Everyone within hearing shot began to murmur.
"I've got others too under my jacket. You want to see them? I know you love to see me naked." Zoe addressed the man, taking a step closer to him.
Dazed, the man was rooted in place from shock. It gave Zoe time to wrap her pretty hand around his neck. She felt his pulse quicken under her fingertip. She wasn't sure if it was because this man was a masochistic bastard or he was afraid.
"Would you also like to see the knives I used to make those? They're so pretty and sharp." She whispered in his ear, the grip on his neck tightening as her nails digged in his flesh. God, this felt good. "I can give you one like mine too while you f*ck me from behind like the b*tch I am." She repeated his words. "I'll even let you f*ck my ass since my p*ssy surely won't be tight enough from being used too much. It won't satisfy you."
The man forcibly shoved her behind, hissing, eyes wide and wild. "You crazy b*tch."
He touched his neck which now supported red lines. Had the man let Zoe clutch his neck a few seconds longer, she was sure there would've been little drops of blood out. Still, blood or no blood she was satisfied.
"What is it? You don't want to f*ck me anymore after seeing a little bit of blood?" She taunted.
The man noticed the small crowd gathered around them and his body stiffened as the judgmental stares Zoe was used to were turned on him.
"You're crazy! Who's letting w*ores like you walk around freely on our headquarters?" He spat once more, emphasizing her lovely nickname.
It was as if he was trying to remind everyone here who and what she was. She was a creature beneath all of them.
Zoe only laughed. She was so numb she couldn't tell if his words hurt her or not. Maybe, she'd suffer the invisible damage done to her mental health later. Now, she felt nothing.
"Oh, come on. You have such a pretty neck, sweetheart. It's such a shame to leave it bare. How about we make a deal?" Zoe clapped her hands together, sounding excited. "I'll let you and your friends f*ck me if you let me cut you. That way you don't have to come up with a plan to catch me. You won't spend money on drugs either. I'm coming willingly. It's a win win."
"He planned to drug her?" A female worker sputtered in shock to her friend as the crowd once again began to gossip.
It didn't go unnoticed by Zoe how none of them seemed worried of her or viewed her as the potential victim. They only saw the man as someone who could drug other women.
Why would they worry about her? She was a porn actress, wasn't she? Her life revolved around sex. She was used to sex. She loved sex.
Another d*ck in her hole wasn't going to make any difference drugged or not. Consented or not.
The funny thing was that she could have every person in this building fired if she wanted to. The creature they thought of as filthy, as a s*ut could easily make sure these people never saw a good day for the rest of their lives. She could do so much damage to them. All it would take would just be her word.
"Do you seriously believe what she's saying? She's lost her mind. The b*tch has slit her wrists for god's sake! She clearly has a few loose screws."
Again, everyone's eyes were on her. Zoe rolled her eyes. She'd have said something back but the sight of a very angry Sawyer strolling her way, shut her up.
"We'll see each other again." Zoe smiled at the man as she glanced at the ring on his finger not so subtly. "I still have to meet your wife and ask her what positions you prefer."
His flushed, angry face was the last thing she saw before she resumed her walk right out of this dreadful building filled with despicable human beings without looking back.
Just when she stepped out, someone gripped her wrist and made her turn around to face them.
"Let me go!" Zoe hissed at her man.
Sawyer's only response was to pull her closer to him. "Oh, no. Not this time. I'm not letting you escape again. We're going to get back in there and talk."
"I don't want to!" She retorted like a child.
"Don't make me repeat myself, angel!"
"I'm not going in there with you right now." Zoe hissed. "I need time to think."
"Time to think about what? Are you seriously mad at me for giving that f*cker a warning?"
"A warning!" Zoe repeated in disbelief. "A warning! That wasn't just a warning. You broke his f*cking finger and threatened him! He's going to sue you. Why did you do that?"
"He touched you!" Sawyer said through gritted teeth, leaving Zoe speechless. "Not only that but he threatened you. You think I'll only stand by and watch?"
She wasn't used to this. Having people fight for her, care about her, protect her. She wasn't sure how to react.
"He's going to be after you too now.." Zoe whispered, looking down on the ground.
Didn't Sawyer understand what he's done? He's just put himself in Zoe's mess. Why couldn't he understand that she didn't want him or her siblings involved? This was her problem.
"I don't care." Sawyer replied flatly.
His lack of self worry angered her and she was about to snap herself out of his hold when she noticed the red dots on his hand. The same hand he'd touched that filthy man with.
His whole body was shaking and he was breathing hard, the veins on his arm strained, the skin of his hand irritated, scratched and picked on way worse than hers. Itchy, raised welts dotting his hand.
Her temporary fury had blinded her to the pain evident in his eyes. This man felt real physical pain when others touched him.
She was awe-struck. She was aware of his condition but since she'd made it her life mission to avoid him before, she never had the chance to witness his phobia taking a toll on him.
He looked pale and nauseous, his heartbeat unusually fast. And he was breathing hard.
Zoe could only see so much with her eyes. Simple eyesight couldn't tell her that the man in front of her was fighting with anything within him to keep himself calm and not having a f*cking panic attack or faint here and now when his angel was about to leave.
While he was doing an an applausable work with controlling his brain, his body didn't cooperate. It was firing up. Red horns honked inside warning a catastrophe in the making. His skin was begging to turn unbelievable itchy and his whole arm ached. Pain. Pain everywhere. He was actually having aand allergy reaction just because he touched someone.
How f*cking pathetic.
But it didn't matter. He wasn't going to let go until Zoe stayed with him. When he saw her run, angry and scared, he freaked out. He's never been more scared in his entire life. Like a little child, he thought she was leaving him. If he let her go now, she wasn't going to come back.
There's no way he'd let that happen. Now that she was with him, he was going to hold onto her for dear life. They'd be separated only when he was six feet under.
Guilt like she had never felt before knocked Zoe out of breath. How could she forget? How could she not notice he was in pain?
This man had touched another human being other than her willingly today when he couldn't stand contact. He'd done it for her.
She could now pick on the struggle it was taking him to control himself, to not go somewhere alone and calm himself down.
Zoe wasn't sure what happened to him when he was thrown to the edge. She cut herself. What about him? What did he do? Miles had told her it was bad. Only that. He hadn't elaborated but by the look on Miles' face when Zoe asked, she was sure it indeed was bad.
Miles knew everything about him. Miles had been there for him. Not her. Not her. Where the f*ck was she when he needed her?
And still he chose to follow her even when his body and brain were screaming for him to disappear. To be alone, away from any sort of human contact.
She was at fault. She knew things would change for the worst when she accepted to be with him and yet she was selfish enough to have him.
She was putting him in danger.
Zoe would be dammed if Sawyer turned into another Mr. Harris. She wasn't losing him too.
"I didn't ask you to stand up for me. I can handle everything on my own. Stay out of it!" She thundered.
She wasn't furious he had protected her. She was scared of what was going to happen now.
Sawyer blinked at her, taken aback by her hostile tone. He even let go of her hand, giving her the chance to break free and walk away without another word.
But she should've known better.
This man was the only one she couldn't run away from.
A loud gasp of shock left her lips when she was thrown over broad shoulders. Without another word, Sawyer turned back towards the building- this time taking a more private route away from privy eyes.
"Put me down right now, Sawyer!" She threw a tantrum, trashing around struggling to escape his tight hold, banging her fists on his back but nothing worked.
The same effective ignorance she'd used on him was used on her.
She found herself back in their office and Sawyer didn't put her down until his office doors were locked.
He wasn't risking having her run away again.
"So, you're going to leave like a coward again?"
"Excuse me?" Zoe glowered.
Unlike her, Sawyer seemed collected but his eyes betrayed his calm exterior. He was royally pissed.
"You heard me. You're going to allow them order you around like this? Why the f*ck don't you fight back? Why don't you do something?"
"It's not that easy, alright?!" Zoe shouted as a reaction to his own raised tone. "You think I don't want to do something? You think I haven't tried? What can someone like me possibly do, Sawyer? Huh? Tell me!"
Somehow, during their exchanged shoutings they had gotten closer without noticing, their chests almost touching, faces like magnets drawn to each other.
"I don't know, Zoe. Do something! Anything! Is this how you're going to live the rest of your life?"
"Yes! Yes, it is!" She yelled. "I'll live however the f*ck I want."
"Really?" Sawyer laughed mockingly, pointing at the dried blood on her wrist."Look how well this sort of life is working for you."
Before Zoe could up with a comeback, Sawyer took another step ahead, closing the little between them. Her heart jumped at their close proximity and her p*ssy was appreciating his otherworldly, stupid handsome face with steady pulses.
"For how long do you think you can stand this? Do you think you're invisible? What will happen when it gets worse? When you won't be able to take it anymore? What will you do?"
Silence was the answer to his question. She knew what she'd do but she was too ashamed to voice it out loud.
"Will you kill yourself then, Zoe?" His next question was quieter but it held so much rage, he might as well have shouted the words.
Zoe flinched, breaking eye contact.
"There's no other way out for me." She whispered back, quiet, defeated, void of hope. She was so sure whatever she did wouldn't be enough to free herself of the hell she was thrown in.
And most importantly, she had her siblings to think of. She would be foolishly naive if she thought that man would leave her alone even if she managed to get away. She could put her siblings in danger. She could put Sawyer, Miles, Ice and Iris in danger.
Just like she'd done with Mr. Harris.
She refrained herself from breaking into loud sobs I'm front of Sawyer. Sucking in a deep breath, she took steps back putting some distance between her and Sawyer.
Today was the first day she had admitted it. Admitted that she was the one to blame for everything that had happened to her dear Mr. Harris.
If it wasn't for her Mr. Harris would've been here today. He'd have had a family, a happy life. If only he hadn't met her.
The only thing he did was stay busy her side and try to protect her. He did nothing wrong.
She was a murderer. She had his blood on her hands. The blood of a man she thought of as a father. She was never going to forgive herself. The images of his lifeless body pooled in blood were going to haunt her till she died.
He was dead just because he had stayed with her. Because he tried to help her.
Her remaining family wasn't going to have the same fate. She wouldn't allow it.
"There is." Sawyer muttered. "You're just being a coward."
Zoe chuckled. Sawyer had grown up into a mature, fine man alright. But his inability to sugarcoat things hadn't disappeared.
"You're right. I am a coward. If wanting to give up from my life makes me a coward then I am one."
Sawyer ran his hand through his hair in frustration, pacing back and forth.
"That's not happening! I'll f*cking die before I allow you to give up from your life so easily."
"You think I wanted to be like this?"
"You think I wanted all of this to happen to me?" She talked to no one.
You think I wanted all this sick attention? You think I wanted to work here?
You think I wanted to be someone's playtoy?
You think I wanted to grow up to be a f*cked up mess who's not good for anyone?
You think I wanted to be born?
You think I wanted you to give birth to me?
Zoe laughed at the reminder of each time her mother had told her she should have never given birth to her.
Did she think those words would possibly hurt her?
Even Zoe herself didn't want to be born. She hated her mother for the sole reason that she gave birth to Zoe. She shouldn't have. Zoe was her biggest mistake.
Why? Why? Why did she have to be born? Why did she have to be the woman she is? Why did those people have to be obsessed with her?
Why couldn't she have been a simple girl with a simple life whose only worries were her exam results?
Why couldn't she have a normal family? Why couldn't she have been Me. Harris real daughter? Why couldn't
Her man. God, tears wanted to come out of her eyes at the sight of him. This man who stubbornly stayed with her. This magnificent man whose world evolved around her.
His only purpose in life was to make her happy.
And Zoe? What could she offer him? She couldn't make him happy. How could a mess like her who had lost the will to live make someone happy?
Why couldn't he see that? Why couldn't he see that she wasn't worth any of the pain and suffering he'd gone through because of her?
"Why are you so...you?" She asked him defeated.
Things had gotten out of control. It was driving her crazy. She hated when unfortunate event with uncontrollable bad consequences happened and what went... in this room was just that.
What was going to happen now? Steve wasn't going to stay quiet.
Zoe knew this would've happened if she got to close to Sawyer. She knew he was going to get hurt in the end.
And not only that but Sawyer was working in the middle of wolves. That too because of her. The only reason this man was working here was because of her.
"I want you to quit your job."
Her unexpected request made the man stop on his tracks and stare at her in disbelief.
"Not happening." He stubbornly refused.
"If you don't quit your job, I'll leave you."
Her statement was an atomic bomb landing on both of them. The words tasted vile on her tongue and as soon as she said it, she wanted to take it back. But she didn't. If she needed to play dirty to get her man as far away from this sick place as she could then she would.
"What did you say?" Sawyer smiled at her tightly in irritation, the side of his brow twitching.
She had pissed him off again.
Now his whole magnificent body wasn't shaking from his phobia. His hands twitched by his sides to reach her and the air grew thick with tension. The atmosphere changed so fast.
"You heard me!" Zoe tilted up her chin defiantly. "Quit or I'll leave you."
"Take it back!" Sawyer demanded.
Zoe's pulse escelerates in anticipation and her core tightened. Goosebumps erupted. Filthy, sweet fantasies flashed in her head.
"And if I don't?"
The side kt Sawyer's lips twitched. "I'll have to make you, it seems."
He walked up to her and she stepped back until her back was pressed against his desk and she had nowhere to go.
Their anger was mixed with their desire, the pent up frustration waiting to be released.
"You just like to be punished, don't you?" Sawyer shook his head in fake disappointment.
Zoe places her palms flat on the desk, leaning back as he wrapped his hand around her pretty neck.
Small, sadistic smiles appeared on both of their faces for what was to come.
"Do your worst!"
[AUTHOR'S NOTE.]
I tried so hard to study these days but this update kept popping up in my head all the time I couldn't do a dann thing. In the shower, in my bed at 3 freaking am. Each time I saw a Tumblr post or a movie. So I just went ahead and uploaded it to finally get some rest.
This was kinda intense but the ones to come are going to be even more intense. Get your wipes ready. We're in for a big ride.
I feel like I could've written this better but I kinda have no time to edit it right now (bc yk exams) however I hope y'all like this rough draft! Share your thoughts.