His hands are strong and steady, cornering me towards the sink. I rest my back against it, taking slow breathes, while his fingers caressing the side of my thighs, lifting my/his shirt along the way.
''Are you going to tell me?'' He whispers, just above my lips, the faint smell of coffee tingling between us.
Biting on my bottom lip, I look away, trying to find a way out of this, although it's seems impossible, considering the fact my senses and my thoughts are full of him. His voice, his sent, his body...everything screams Jackson, making it even harder for me to think clearly.
A gentle hand cups my jaw, bringing our eyes in the same line of sight and I swallow thickly. His thumb swipes across my lips, stroking my cheek tenderly.
''No?'' He asks again suggestively, and I shake my head in response.
''Okay then.'' The words come out as a form of surrender, but knowing Jackson this is highly unlikely.
Taking a step back, he huffs annoyed, just before he grabs my thighs hoisting me up the counter. Our bodies mold together like one and he leaves no space between us, locking my legs around his waist.
''I guess I have to get it out of you then.''
*
You know the feeling when your stomach turns into knots? Your hands are sweaty and shaking, pulses increasing to the point you can hear your own heartbeat inside you head?
Well I always been familiar with it. Almost too familiar.
That feeling was hunting me inside the class, during a movie, on a coffee break, even inside the shower.
It was practically my body putting me on a danger mode, without real danger around me. And what scared me the most was, how I couldn't control myself. My breathing, my thoughts, my whole fuckin existence.
That's the exact feeling I had when Jackson trapped me between his arms. Only with a big difference.
I wasn't afraid.
My heart was racing, but my mind was calm, my hands were cold but not sweaty, my body was tingling, not trembling... I was anxious.
In a good way.
And the fact itself shocked me to the core.
''Last chance.'' He whispered, circling my waist under the shirt. ''Who made you like this last night? Huh? Who hurt you?''
The tone of his voice brings a shiver down my spine but does nothing to calm down the butterfly war inside my stomach.
What the hell is wrong with me?
''M'kay.'' The final word drops from his lips right above mine and I open my mouth almost instantly to catch it.
''Nope. Bad girls don't deserve a reward.'' He says and my thighs clench involuntarily around him.
The action doesn't go unnoticed and a light smirk breaks through his face.
''You like that? Being called a bad girl...Do you like been treated like one too?''
I've no answer for his dirty remarks. The only evidence of how I really feel, is the fabric of his tee between my fists and the tightness of my legs circling him.
''No, I don't think you are ready for that kind of treatment.'' He whispers to my ear, hands massasing my sides.
There is a moment of silence, when nothing but our heavy breathing can be heard and the next minute, I grab his jaw bringing our lips together.
The coffee taste invades my mouth overpowering my senses and we both moan at the sensation.
Our tongues collide in time, hands tugging on each other, until his tight grip on my hair is too much for me to handle and I need to break our connection to take a breath.
''Fuck.''
The curse word leaves my mouth and he slaps my thigh, making me gasp.
''No cursing.'' He says, grasping my neck in a firm hold, enough to show off his dominance, but not to hurt me.
I stay quiet watching him carefully, while he moves forward catching my bottom lip between his teeth. ''Tell me.'' Jackson demands.
The lack of response seems to make him frustrated, because the next moment he pushes me backwards, hand still gripping on my neck.
His face stares at me for a while, until a sinister smile takes over his features and he tugs at my shirt, revealing a pair of Calvin Klein boxers.
His pair of Calvin Klein boxers to be more precisely.
''What do we have here.'' He mumbles amused.
My body reacts trying to stand up, but he squeezes my neck, giving me a warning.
''Don't move baby.''
I stay there, laying on my back, eyes locked with the ceiling, while Jackson take his time striping me from my underwear.
''You know they say, there is nothing sexier than a girl wearing her boyfriend's shirt.''
My heart skips a beat at the sound of the ''boyfriend'' title.
''But I intend to disagree. You know why?'' he asks, kissing my belly button.
''No.'' I whisper flustered.
''Because what's the point of wearing a stupid shirt, when you can have her wearing your scent?'' He says, sucking on my thigh.
''And you my love.'' A kiss on the inside of my knee.
''Right now.'' Another one higher.
''Smell like...'' His breath caressing my lips.
''Jackson's.''
*
For the next fifteen minutes I'm in a state of pure euphoria. My whole body tingles, like swimming in a pop rock candy sea. Hundreds of fireworks explode in my head, the pleasure being too much, making me cry in a pure bliss.
His palm rests on top of my stomach keeping me down, while he continues his slow torture over my body, licking and sucking all the right places that have me panting for air.
When the moment finally comes to an end, my legs stay locked around Jackson's head, thighs shaking and body trembling underneath him. His lips make not attempt to detach from my lower half and I feel like crying all over again from how sensitive this feels.
''I could go on forever.'' He mumbles between my legs making me whine. ''Would you like that?''
The question is clearly rhetorical, considering what a mess I am right now and for some reason, his playfulness brings sudden tears in my eyes.
Not aware of my discomfort, Jackson preps with light kisses my thighs, stopping upon my heat once again. ''Can you do one more baby?''
There is no response from my side, just sniffling sounds trying to suppress my cries. But no matter how hard I try my body betrays me.
Jackson's face appears in front of me, blocking the view of the ceiling, making me turn the other way, not wanting him to see me like this.
''Hey, what's going on?''
His voice is full of concern, trying to catch a glance of my face and the sound of it, makes me break down in tears.
My reaction seems to trigger him, because a few seconds later, he tugs my shirt down, bringing my body in an upward position, hugging me.
''I'm sorry. I'm sorry baby.'' He whispers, remorsefully and the fact that he thinks it's his fault, makes me cry even harder.
Tears, stream down my cheeks making me almost choke from how torturing this is and I know it's going to crush me all over again.
Jackson seems to understand what's happening. Holding me against his chest like a child, a hand under my thighs and the other one on my back, he moves us towards the living room.
Whispering sweet nothing to me, he set us down the sofa, with me on his lap, caressing the back of my head tenderly.
''It's okay. It's okay babe. I'm here. I'm right here. You are safe.''
The gentle tone of his words does nothing to stop my painful sobs and for a moment, pain is the only think I can feel. Not only emotionally, but physically too.
Touching my neck, I can sense my lungs closing, like a vise cutting off my air. The panic rises inside of me slowly, a snake creeping around its' prey, ready to eat me alive.
But he doesn't let it.
A hand finds its' way towards my heart, pressing softly against it and Jackson's smooth voice calls for me.
''Look at me.''
My eyes drawn almost instantly at him and he smiles watching my face closely.
''I'm right here okay?''
Taking my other hand, he puts it carefully over his own heart, letting me feel the steady heartbeat underneath.
''I won't leave you.'' He clarifies stirctly, as if he knows how much pain the thought can cost me.
My tears come into a momentarily halt, letting me study his features carefully, before I whisper uncertain.
"Promise?"
Two chocolate irises find mine, holding our gaze enough to reassure me and then his lips claim my own, bringing the air back to my lungs.
"I swear."
*
His soft hand rests on top of my leg during the ride home. There is a comfortable silence between us, making me almost dread the moment I'll have to get out of the car.
I can feel Jackson stealing some side glances towards me, but I keep it cool, looking outside the window. I'm sure he is still worried about my mental break down earlier, even though he pretends the opposite.
The constant squeezing on my knee kind of gives it off, as much as the fact that he insisted on buying me my favorite coffee and a dozen of donuts.
A dozen.
Allow me to say, it was pretty damn cute, but a little too much for me. It took me at least half an hour to persuade him, I was full just by having two of them, until he finally agreed I eat the rest of them later.
As if.
My stomach was still a mess from all the crying and I had to practically force myself to eat them just for him. The smile on his face when he saw me taking another one from the box, was enough for me to swallow my nauseousness and grin back. Although, it made it quite clear, I wasn't going to have anything else for the rest of the day.
''We're here.''
The hoarse tone of Jackson's voice, brought me back from my thoughts and soon, I found myself in front of my house.
''Thanks.'' I mumble reluctant. Not quite sure what to say, after the eventful day we spent together.
''That's alright.''
There is a pause following his words and I hesitantly put my hand on the door handle, ready to go, but he beats me to it.
''What are you doing tomorrow?''
''Hmm...when you say tomorrow?''
''Afternoon.''
''Oh.'' Biting on my lip hard, I look away awkwardly. ''I have to be somewhere.''
''That's sad. I wanted to take you out.''
My head shots up immediately and I feel my heart skipping several beats. ''Where?''
''Now.. I don't think I can tell you. It would ruined my surprise.''
Pouting, I turn to face him, legs touching lightly his own. ''But I want to know...''
''Then come.''
Staring at my hands, I start playing with my fingers, searching for the right words. ''I want to. It's just...I can't cancel my appointment.''
''Appointment?'' He asks raising an eyebrow.
''Yeah.''
He doesn't respond to it making glance towards his side, but I don't see anything unusual. He seems pretty content.
''Are you mad?'' I say, guilty.
''Of course not.''
''You are not going to ask what type of appointment this is?''
''You can tell me yourself if you want to. I'm not going to push you.''
His answer calms my nerves and I smile at him. Jackson has been nothing but patient with me and I know, i'm not the easiest to handle. The fact itself, only intensefies my need to tell him the truth. So, putting aside my uncertainity and fears, I open my mouth hesitantly, before I say loud and clear.
''I see a psychologist, three times a month.''
My Joker's eyes brighten for a moment, as if he was waiting for me to say this, until a light smile takes over his feautures.
''Okay.'' He says, chucking a piece of hair out of my face.
''I-I promise I'm not crazy or...''
''I know babe. Don't worry about it.''
The easyness of his words lift a huge weight out of my shoulders and I realize how scared I was of what he is going to think.
''Can I come and get you when you're done?''
''You want to?'' I ask, not being able to hold the smile that creeps on my face.
''Of course. I'll take whatever chance to be with you.'' He says, caressing my cheek with the back of his hand.
''Just text me the time and adress.''
Nodding, I close my eyes enjoying that moment of proximity between us, before I kiss his hand tenderely.
Jackson's grin widens and he cups my head, letting his lips linger on my forehead.
''Go now.'' He whispers.
Moving away, I open the door ready to step away, but he stops me once again.
''Your donuts.''
Grabbing the box, I take my bag of clothes with the other hand, giving him one last look, before I move towards my house.
Silence greets me as soon as I get inside and has nothing to do, with the comfortable one I was sharing with Jackson, a few minutes ago. My mood wavers for a second, but I decide to not let it destroy the sweet aftertaste of my day with him.
Walking inside the kitchen, I find my mom in front of the window, her back facing me. She seems lost in her own thoughts and I clear my throat to make my presence noticed.
''Hey.'' I say happily. ''I brought donuts!''
She doesn't say anything, still looking outside the window and I frown in concern. ''I got your favorite. Chocolate chips.''
No response.
''Mum.'' I whisper.
In the next couple of seconds, a series of events take place.
My mother turns around, staring at me with a cold look on her face. Walking towards me, she throws the box of donuts on the floor and kicks it, while I stay petrified in my place.
And then the most absurd think happens.
Her hand collides with my cheek in a loud and hurtful slap.
***
Hi beautiful people!
It's been 17 days. I know...Writer's block sucks.
But hey!
I'm back and ready for more.
Hope you like it ❤
P.S. Thanks for being so patient with me. 🙏