IDUNA
"No way." James was impressed, "They really asked for you? I mean, you're the best here by far, but - wow, what an honour!" he ran a hand through his hair in amazement, "Carving for the best. You must be thrilled!"
"I am." I said truthfully, somewhat irked by his interruptions, but mostly amused by how excited he was for me. "Now please, stop distracting me. I've never done something so important before. I can't afford to mess this up." I gestured to the piece I was working on.
James' eyes widened in realisation, "So you - I need - of course - I'll er - I'll let you get on with it." he pointed his fingers at me awkwardly before bowing his head slightly as he turned back around.
I grinned at him before continuing to scrape out grooves in the wood, making a neat and intricate pattern on what was slowly beginning to resemble a cabinet door.
Wood carving had always been my escape. Whenever I'd felt particularly low, I had gathered all my tools, found a chunk of wood, and carved away to my heart's content in the porch outside our house. And with what had recently transpired with Agnarr, carving had continued to offer such a distraction.
I was just so angry with him. I was angry with him for changing, I was angry with him for putting me through so much, I was angry with him for everything.
Normally I didn't feel like a bomb about to explode. I was getting on with my life just fine since I'd made the decision to let him go. But every so often, when I didn't have anything else to think about, something or other would remind me of him and my rage would rush to the forefront of my mind.
Seeing him yesterday had been awful. Usually, if Arianna sensed him approaching us, she would go out her way to ensure I didn't see him. She would slam a door shut or drag me the other way before I had to see his face. She didn't want me getting hurt by him again, and she also knew that my depression had manifested itself into anger.
But unfortunately he had surprised us the day before, and she didn't have a chance to do anything. I was still amazed with myself for not bursting into a heated speech of how he had wronged me. Somehow I had managed to walk away before I did anything stupid and started an argument.
However, that wasn't to say that, if presented with the same situation again, I would be able to walk away so calmly.
I just knew that if I ever saw him again, things would not end well for either of us.
All too soon my carving shift was over and I had to leave the store with James.
While Thomas didn't know exactly what was bothering me, he did know there was something on my mind, and he forced me to take shorter shifts until I was back to being myself.
It was sweet of him to not overwork me, but at the same time, he didn't understand that sometimes I actually needed to wipe myself out by doing way to much.
"I'll see you tomorrow Id." James said, giving me his signature salute as we reached the point where we went our separate ways.
I grinned half-heartedly at him, "Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow."
And with a last wave, he ran off like he did everyday.
I continued on my own way home, trying my best to not think about him -
A hand unexpectedly grabbed my wrist and I whirled around, yanking my arm back and preparing to chastise whoever had just touched me. But I stopped when I realised it was none other than Agnarr himself.
After a moment of admiring those eyes, I came back to myself and scowled. Walk away calmly. Walk away calmly.
"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry Iduna, for everything I put you through -"
"I don't want to hear it." I marched on, hoping he wouldn't follow me, but of course he did.
Out the corner of my eye I saw my house, but firmly continued passed it. Agnarr would probably just pine at the door. I needed to shake him off somehow, but I also didn't want to draw any attention to ourselves. I thought the secluded forest would do well to hide what was bound to become an angry argument from other Arendellians.
"I know," Agnarr went on, trying to catch up with me, "but please just listen. While I may not know how I've changed,"
I rolled my eyes. How could he not know? It was blatantly obvious to everyone else! He no longer thought straight in Council meetings and he agreed with the dangerous proposals of the advisors and Royal Guards. What exactly about that was unclear to him?
"I do know that it has affected you and I'm sorry. I really am -"
"Sorry doesn't cut it. How can it? And as for what you've put me through ... you have no idea how hard this has been!"
"Hey, that's not fair Iddy."
"Don't you dare 'Iddy' me!" I raised a finger threateningly, but he pushed it down carelessly.
"Look. I've been back and forth about this too. You started avoiding me and ignoring me, how else was I supposed to react?"
I rolled my eyes again, "For goodness sake Agnarr. Pull yourself together! You're scary when you get angry, what did you expect me to do? Endure your rage? Well I wasn't going to do that. I shouldn't have to."
"No you shouldn't." Agnarr agreed, "But that isn't the point."
"It is too the point. Don't you dare play the victim, Arendelle. If you can't see how you've changed, then fine, stay blind. But don't try making it seem like I'm the bad guy here, because I'm not."
He went to grip my wrist again, but I jerked it out of his reach, a disbelieving frown screwing up my face.
"No you're not." he said, a pathetic and pleading look in his eyes, "I'm not saying you are. All I want to do is talk."
"That's all I wanted to do! But every time I tried you lashed out at me! You pushed me away! Of course I was going to start avoiding you!" I yelled, glad we had made our way into the woody area around the Kingdom. Now I could release my seething anger on him without worrying how everyone else would react.
His hands rose to his hair in frustration, "I don't want to argue with you. I came here to apologise."
I turned on him, my eyes flashing dangerously, "Well apologise then, so you can be on your way." I thrust a hand back the way we had come.
"Iduna, truly I am sorry. Please talk to me again. I -"
"GO!" I screamed, not bearing to hear anymore, shaking my hands around my ears and turning away from him, "I don't care what else you have to say. Just get out of my sight." I felt a lump forming in my throat but forced it down indignantly. I couldn't let Agnarr see my tears.
"But -"
I flapped a hand in his direction, warning him to stop talking, and prepared to storm into the trees in my last, albeit futile, attempt at shaking him off, but:
"I'm engaged."
I froze. My brain went numb and I wasn't sure how I was supposed to feel. Betrayed? Angry? Upset? Happy?
For a moment all I could do was stutter on the spot, emotions flying across my mind so fast I couldn't grasp any of them. All I could make out in my heart was an overwhelming sense of loss.
Then, I whirled around furiously and spread my arms wide, "Congratulations? What do you want me to say Agnarr?"
He didn't look at me, and his broken body language told me he was giving up this fight. A strange feeling of rage and disappointment swelled inside me.
"I don't know." his voice trembled slightly.
I took a step towards him, my heart beating fast, "How am I supposed to feel?"
He shook his head, "I don't know."
"Do you really think that I'm going to feel sorry for you? That I'll suddenly forgive you for everything you've done?"
"No." his voice was so small and fragile that I almost did feel sorry for him.
But instead I took another step closer to him and cried, "Then what is it Agnarr? What do you want?" I threw my arms up to the heavens and glared at him.
But when he unexpectedly closed the space between us and raised his hand which just hovered beside my face as if he'd forgotten himself and was now restraining, I softened and held my breath expectantly.
"In truth? You."
My mouth opened to retort, but then I realised what he had said and didn't know what to do.
In the end I shattered and fell into him, thrashing my arms and feet against him in defeat, confused and angry tears streaming down my face. "But you said you're engaged!" I shouted, trying to knock him back to sense with my curled fists, my nails digging into my flesh so hard that I felt warm specks of blood on my skin
"I don't care Iduna. I don't care." he said, catching one of my wrists before it slammed into his chest for the hundredth time and brushing his other hand across my cheek soothingly.
My breathing hitched at his touch and more tears pricked the corners of my eyes, but Agnarr brushed them away gently with his thumbs.
"I don't care." he repeated, before kissing me.
I struggled a few moments more, but the King was strong. I ended up raising a hand to slap him again, but even that protest died as I lost myself in this, allowing myself this moment of vulnerability. I was suddenly transported to a simpler time when everything was perfect and certainly not the mess they were now.
For a brief moment I felt complete again.
I almost rejected him pulling back, but when he did, I realised the mistake I had just made and shook my head in shock.
I took a step back from his grasp and said, surprisingly calmly, "I should go."
"Wait, Iduna, please." his hand reached for mine and he laced our fingers together in the way that made my heart flutter, his eyes desperately searching my face. "The advisors arranged it all behind my back. I don't want to marry her. Renata is a nice girl but it's just cruel to condemn her to a loveless marriage. It's unfair. I can call the whole thing off even if it sacrifices the Alliance we have with Ebiza -"
"Oh no, you can't risk all that for me!" I interrupted him, alarmed by his words - the Alliance was way to important to sacrifice like that! "You need to do what's right for Arendelle. And you'll be happy with Renata. I'm just a distraction, a temptation. I should go before I put anything in jeopardy." I attempted to pull away before I did something else that I'd regret, but he pulled me back to him.
We were so close that I could feel his breath tickle my cheeks and I flushed, hot and angry and lost. Why was he doing this to me?
"I know what's at stake Iduna. But I can't loose you again." his voice cracked but he went on, "I love you. And I made the mistake of letting you go once, I won't make it again."
My eyes misted up at his sincerity. But a tug at my heart told me it couldn't last, who was to say he wouldn't relapse into his altered self? I couldn't let myself believe he was back to normal. After all, it's what had gotten me this far.
"I'm afraid you don't have a choice, Your Majesty."
The thick, deep and accented voice cut through our intensity like a blade and I felt shivers down my spine at its coldness.
Agnarr turned quickly, his pupils dilating with fear, and I slowly turned my head too.
A man was standing before us; he was short and round, but clearly very strong and powerful, and I stepped back in fright.
Agnarr moved slightly in front of me out of sheer impulse and a natural sense of protection, but when he spoke he sounded surprised and vulnerable, "King Rufeal!"