Though he is very sure he wanted to keep this kind of 'relationship'—if it could even be called as that—with Lilac, he's still hell-bent on seeing her. But he doesn't plan on doing anything to remove the current animosity between them. He even decided to make better use of it and keep acting like he hates her. He can't have a repeat of everything that happened back in his world.
With that decision in mind, he started seriously analyzing the situation, the silence of the apartment greatly helping. This is the reason why he chose to be alone for a few days; he got so many things to do, to confirm and to investigate about. He doesn't want to risk having the members feel suspicious after they suddenly barge into his room back at Haneul's.
He hated studying all his damn life, but now he just found himself with a pen in hand, and a notebook on the table in front of him. It was the same notebook containing his self-written songs, and he was glad seeing it in the same state when he found it earlier.
Though a couple of his compositions are missing—songs he wrote with Lilac in mind—but it's not something to worry about. He can just rewrite those all over again and this time, he will actually release them whatever it takes.
SIMILARITIES – DIFFERENCES
He wrote on the upper left and right parts of the blank page.
Career (VN Entertainment)
He then added under similarities. Everything about his job and his management stayed the same. From his members to their whole team, their comebacks, schedules, the brands they promote, their future plans, Chief Kang and that asshole COO Lee, and every other thing connected to the company and RAVN. They're all the same.
Family
Based on the photos on his shelf and Yohan asking about this brother earlier, his family is the same as well—something he is very thankful for. More things followed;
Car, Apartment, Other Investments
He made sure to check the documents in one of his drawers inside his room, and the properties he bought were all still his. Lastly, he wrote;
Gun, Soonho, Enzo and Minhwan, and other friends and acquaintances (except the ones I met through Li)
His hand slid sideways as he sighed, adding the first items under differences;
Reputation: Playboy
Hates Lilac (never thought of dating her and never friends with her).
That moment, he was reminded of some of Elius Spencer's words
Think of it this way, parallel universes were made by regrets—what if's as per se. They were made of the possibilities; what if he chose this path instead? What if she said yes that day? What if... she didn't die?
The past weeks, I know you've been regretting one thing, Ahn Ki-Ryeong. You're regretting introducing yourself to Lilac that day, four years ago.
In this world, the thing he regretted the most back in his original one was made into reality. What if he didn't meet Lilac? This world is the answer.
The parallel Kio didn't meet her four years ago that's why he didn't get the chance to know the real Lilac. He kept on believing how the world sees her, how the world stereotyped her and made her appear to be. Those misconceptions lead him into hating her.
He remembered how arrogant he was before meeting Lilac. RAVN's career was on its peak that time and it had been difficult for him not to brag about the fame and success, especially with how they started. Li entered his life and kept him in check. She had always been honest with him, and she made sure to tell him hurtful but honest criticisms no one but the members dared to.
But in this world, that didn't happen and perhaps, that was the reason he became worse. There was no Lilac in his life so he stayed single and eventually, became a playboy. Everything changed just because of that one 'what if,' and the rest naturally followed. Just like how she didn't die here because in the first place, she didn't know him.
'Scandal,' he wrote next and absentmindedly stared at the written word.
He knew what he did will still haunt him. Even though the universe has been altered, he was still the same Kio who cheated, and who did all those intimate things with another woman while in a committed relationship. It seems like despite his reputation, parallel Ki-Ryeong was still much wiser than him.
He can't help but glance at his arm. Though it wasn't her who did the tattoos, the permanent marks still bring unwanted memories in his mind. What a waste, I'll just have to wear long-sleeved shirts from now on.
He shut the notebook close and wetted his lips, contemplating what to do next.
"Lilac," he muttered under his breath before picking up his phone and opening the Twitter app once again. He typed in the account which gives updates about Li's schedule and immediately found it. He began scrolling through its profile.
LILAC UPDATES @lilacofficialnews Lilac will be flying to Thailand tomorrow morning and will stay there for a few days. It is not work-related. She will be having a vacation with her family and relatives after such a hectic schedule the past months.
He put his phone down again and stood up. What can he do now? Should he just wait till she comes back? He paced around the room, and stopped as he caught sight of one of the bags he brought from Haneul's. Inside was one of his favorite cameras.
.°•⏳°.•
"Why are you even awake at this hour?," Asher's amused voice filled the car.
Kio's grip on the steering wheel tightened. It's been a while since this brother of his talked to him in a fair mood. He should start getting used to the fact that he didn't commit that mistake in this world, but he should also not take this redo of things for granted. It is only past five in the morning—too early—but he had to get going now or he might miss Lilac.
"Or you didn't sleep at all?," Ash added when he failed to answer for a long while.
"I did. I just had to do something today." Yes, he really did sleep... for an hour or two.
"Work out?"
He was about to agree and lie, when the sports car behind him suddenly revved and overtook his Benz.
"You're outside?," the guy on the other line instantly suspected. "Did Manager Chen know?"
He sighed, "I just have to buy something, it won't take long."
Asher went silent for a moment before he heard him scoff. "You're gonna meet up with one of your girls?"
"What? No! Of course not," Kio replied exasperatedly.
"Or are you actually coming home from a one-night stand?"
"Asher, fuck's sake, no," he pointedly uttered as he started getting annoyed. Damn, why do you have to be a playboy, parallel Ki-Ryeong?
The older guy chuckled, "fine, it's not. Chill out, you used to be okay with this type of jokes. What's with you?"
"I just got bored of it..." There, does that line sound like a playboy who just had a self reflection?
Only a second passed and his Asher's laughter resounded from the car's speakers.
I guess not.
"You? Getting bored of whoring around? We've been telling you to stop for years but you didn't listen, so we just gave up. And now, you're telling me you just got bored of it, out of nowhere? Kio, come on, no need to make excuses for this secret trip of yours. I won't tell anyone."
How much of a playboy was he? Fuck.
"I don't care, just stick to your words and don't tell anyone."
Ash scoffed, "you're really being weird. So this is why Yohan told me to call you. He said I should check up on you 'cause you've been acting really weird since yesterday."
"I was not feeling well yesterday but I'm fine now."
"Then you should've just stayed with us so we could take care of you."
Kio bit his lip, feeling overwhelmed. How he missed this—his Asher being worried about him.
"I'll be fine."
"Okay, you're old enough to take care of yourself. Whatever it is that you're going to do today, stay safe and don't do anything stupid."
"Yes, daddy."
The other groaned, "not that again, you disgusting piece of shit."
He burst into fits of laughter as Ash hurriedly hang up. He checked his direct conversations with the guy last night, and saw something which also made him laugh really hard. Turns out, parallel Kio also loves annoying the parallel Asher by sending him links of KiSher fanfictions—their very own bromance ship.
Some things never change.
He arrived at Incheon Airport and drove straight towards the VIP parking. A security officer immediately gestured for him to stop and went to his side.
Kio pulled down his mask, removed his sunglasses and bucket hat before rolling the window down.
The officer did a double take as his eyes gradually widened. "S-Sir— "
"I'm here to oick up a relative, that's why my company didn't get to call beforehand."
The man frantically nodded, "t-that's alright Sir, I'll call someone to escort—"
"No need, I'll be careful. Just please, let's keep this between us. I don't want to put my uncle in danger."
"Of course Sir, please be rest-assured. I just have to ask for your ID, for protocols."
"No problem."
Once everything was sorted out, he easily entered the basement and parked on the farthest corner. He checked himself in the rearview mirror as he wore the mask, sunglasses and hat again. He knew this type of get up will make him look more suspicious so instead of wearing his usual all-black get up, he wore a mustard yellow hoodie today—a gift from his Hei-won—with light gray sweatpants and a pair of simple white Stan Smiths—also just a gift.
No one will ever think Ahn Ki-Ryeong will be in Incheon Airport alone at this time of the day, wearing such bright-colored clothes and a type of shoes he doesn't usually wear—he's certain of that.
He began setting up his camera, connecting two lenses in it and praying that it could pass up as one owned by a fansite. Those Master-nims own huge, telescope-looking cameras so he's sure the one he's using now is nothing compared to theirs. But he's new so maybe this would suffice?
Yes, this is his so-called diabolic plan; to pretend as a new Lilac fansite.
Borderline idiotic and risky as hell, he knew, but at this point he can do just about anything to see Lilac in person and in a slightly close range—without her recognizing him. And this is the only way he came up with.
"New?," the man beside him asked.
He made it to where the fansites are permitted to stay without any issues. With the thought of his disguise being quite a success, his nerves calmed down a bit.
"Yeah," he replied, turning to the man. The latter is only wearing a mask, unlike him.
Fortunately, he's not the only one with his current get-up. He saw a female fansite who's also hiding almost the entirety of her face.
"You look young," the man observed. Kio guessed he's about four to five years older than him, but he's still a bit taller. "Good thing Lilac is getting more schedules these past months. I heard she got a gig in China," the Master-nim excitedly mumbled. "I might fly as well once she's there, or I'll just buy photos from Chinese fansites."
China? This never happened back in his original world, though he remembers the amount of Chinese fanboys Li had. Of course, the girl's company will take advantage of her fame again, it's what they do best.
"The black hair suits her, don't you think?" He then heard two female fansites in front of him talking. "Her blonde hair was still my favorite but this black one is such a surprise."
"Yeah, I love this jet-black look, she'll make it trend again."
Before the other one could reply, a black artist van suddenly stopped across the road and everyone hurriedly held their cameras up.
Kio stilled for a few seconds before he felt a tap on his shoulder.
"Get ready kid," the man beside him faintly chuckled.
He was brought back to reality and quickly raised his camera as well. He swallowed hard as his heart thumped fast and hard inside his chest. His labored breaths made his hands shake, and if he doesn't calm himself down, his photos would probably end up blurry.
A familiar female manager rounded the van and in no time, a petite but quite tall figure followed. The onslaught of camera flashes blinded him at first, but his eyes quickly adjusted and he slowly saw her clearer.
She is wearing a matching dark gray sweatshirt and sweatpants, a pair of white sneakers, cute round specs and a beige bucket hat on top of her head. She looked very casual and comfortable, not forgetting to wave and smile at everyone.
He froze, and forgot the act he was trying to pull off.
Lilac is in front of him—smiling, waving, walking, alive and breathing. It is impossible to stop the tears from sliding down his cheeks. He felt grateful his sunglasses are big enough to conceal it.
Baby, I'm here. I came here for you. I won't let anyone hurt you again. I'll protect you no matter what. You won't ever cry again. I'll make it up to you.
He swallowed, carefully leveled his camera with his face, and whispered the words he never imagined he will be able to say again;
"Smile for me, my love."
He didn't dare to breathe as he took photos of her. Once she crossed the road, all the other fansites quickly followed except him. He remained on his spot and watched from afar.
This is enough. From now on, he will love her just this much—with boundaries yet unconditionally.