~ 🐱 ~
(Play the music please, enjoy😄)
I hope he won't think in that way. "Jungkook, Baby!" I cried and ran to him. I hug him and cried on his chest but I was startled when he harshly pushed me, making me fall on the ground.
I winched when I felt my ankle twisted a bit and my elbow met the floor.
To what he did made me cry. I looked at him crying. He was looking at me with his dark eyes, it was full of anger. He surveyed my body first before looking at Sehun who's only wearing a boxers.
His jaw move aggressively as his eyes turns into a bloodshot.
"Did he taste good, Lisa?" I was shocked when he questioned me that. "You left me yesterday just to be with him, huh?!"
"No! What the heck!"
"Then what?!" He shouted that made looked down. "You keep saying that I cheated on you when you actually doing the same thing!" He shouted that made my eyes widen in shocked.
"You don't know what happened! I am the victim here, Jungkook! That bastard!" I pointed Sehun. "That bastard raped me! He harassed me and force me to make out with him! He drugged me while I am having my mental breakdown. You know that I can't do that to you!" I shouted back, defending myself.
"And you want me to believe to that fucking excuse of yours? How could I know if you're telling the truth or not? As far as I know he's your ex boyfriend. Of course you're slut and desperate you'll agree to have sex with him to gain some popularity and money with you! I didn't know that you're this whore, Lisa." He chuckled like he said something funny. I can't talk because I felt his words crashing my heart into piece.
"Am I not enough, Lisa? I am more popular and rich to that jerk but why did you still chose him? Why did you fool me?" He scoffed. "I should have trusted what your Grandfather have said to me in the first place. I shouldn't have defended you if I know you are user. Fuck, you made me disgusted. You let yourself to whore around just to gain some money and popularity."
"Stop, Jungkook. You're hurting me..." I covered my mouth to stopped myself from sobbing.
"You're hurt? Really? Then good for you." He chuckled. "You deserve it desperate whore."
I look at him, he was breathing heavily. "How many times do I have to tell you that I am a victim here! I didn't want any of this to happened! Because of you I was zoning out, because of you I am out of myself. I had my breakdown in front of a lot people! Wanting to die because of the problems that kept coming to me." I stared at him.
"You know that My Khun Pa cut all of my connections to My Family! I am learning to chase my useless dream! I am working part time job so I can earn for myself, to live and feed myself. So how could you say that I wanted to have sex with others just to get some money and popularity when I am working hard for myself? I tried to be strong, I tried to looked happy, I tried to look energetic when the truth is I'm so tired of everything."
"I love you so much that I still accept and forgive you when I know you are already cheating on me. How stupid right? But what can I do? My heart still chose you, wanting to be loved by the person I loved the most." I cried out that I cannot even breathe properly.
"Do you think I care? No, I don't care about your fucking opinion. You want to know the truth?" He asked that made me look up to him.
"The truth is I don't really love you." He chuckled again making me feel like I just died, no my heart died. This is too much, I don't think I can handle it anymore.
"Yeah, I used you as my entertainment in Thailand. I used you as my own happiness there so I won't get bored. Do you think Idol and Fan relationship does really work? Then stupid you. Those kind of relationship are not meant to be, Lisa. Because Fans only wants their Idols popularity. They used them to to get rich, they use them to become popular, they use them to be happy for themselves. And that was you, Lisa. You used us, you fooled us. How funny that we used and fake our loves for each other." He looked away.
Yeah, my instinct were right. He didn't love me at all, he just used me for his own happiness. And here I am, I let myself to get fooled by him and putting all the blame on me like all of the mistakes came from me.
I smiled bitterly as I dried my tears out. I tried to stand up even though it hurts because of my sprained ankle. But that doesn't stop me to stood up straight and faced him.
"You know what let me tell you a story." I look away when tears started to form on my eyes again. "A story of a girl who have been drugged by his ex boyfriend. She woke up to see that they are both half naked, the girl became mad because she felt guilty of doing something that she didn't want to. Her ex tried to raped her again for the second time, she kept praying and praying on her head that someone would come to save her from being harassed. And her prayers became true, someone did enter the room. She smiled when she saw it was her beloved boyfriend, she cried out of happiness because finally she can escape hell. But guess what her beloved boyfriend pushed him not knowing that the girl is still weak because of her foot." That made Jungkook look down on my feet.
"She thought that her boyfriend would heal her. But guess what again, her boyfriend slowly torn her apart. He hurt her not just physically but also mentally. The girl loves her boyfriend so much but it turns out that her boyfriend doesn't love her. She expected so much from his boyfriend because it was her strength, comfort and peace. Yet her strength, comfort and peace accused her loved for him. He said that the girl only used her to gained popularity and money. But you know what hurts her the most? Is being called a whore, desperate and slut by the person she cherished the most. She didn't know that loving someone would actually make you whore." I chuckled, drying my tears again but they won't fucking stop!
"Lisa..." Jungkook tried to reach for my hand.
"Are you happy now, Jungkook? You make ashamed of me like what My Grandfather always do. Do you feel better now when you already torn me apart? Thank you for making me realize how useless I am, that I don't deserve to be love. I guess this is my fate, being alone. I'm tired, I just want to rest. I'm tired of everything..."
"I don't wanna see you again--"
"Yeah, don't worry. You won't see me again, Jungkook. I won't bother you anymore since I looked like some beggar begging for your love. Fuck, I look so stupid." I cut him off before I chuckled bitterly.
"Please break up with me." I said bravely looking directly in his eyes.
Why can I see pain in his eyes? Or is it just my illusion because I cried to much? "Do we... R-really have to?" He asked, looking away.
"Why? You can't do it? Fine, then. Let's break up. You're right, this shitty relationship won't work for us. But you know what..." I bit my lower lip.
"I still love you..."
"I don't care." Jungkook coldly said.
"Yeah, right. You don't care since you don't really love me. But please remember my love for your were always real, I never faked my love for others. Especially on you Jeon Jungkook. Please do me a favor can you?" I asked, I waited for him to talked yet he didn't. "Take care of yourself, Baby. Please don't skipped meals, be healthy not just for your fans but also for your family and friends. I don't want you to get sick because I love you so much that I am willing to take all of your hardship just to make your life better. You already pushed me away, So I promise you that you won't find me where you left me. Thank you for everything, even in a short time of us being together, you still made me happy and made me feel how to be loved by someone even though your love for me wasn't real. I'm proud of you, Baby. Saranghaeyo..." I tiptoed to cupped his cheeks and give him a one last soft kiss. As our lips brushed to each other my tears started streaming down to my cheeks again.
After that I took my clothes on the floor before running inside the bathroom to wear my clothes. I also took my bag before I hurriedly left the room, slowly passing by to the man I loved the most.
You have no idea how worthless you made me feel, Jungkook.
~ Anndeukie