I run out of the water with my surfboard under my arm and make my way towards my stuff. Once I reach my beach blanket, I set my board down, unzip my wetsuit and practically collapse on the blanket.
This has become a tradition of mine in the last few years. I wake up at 5am, head down to the beach and surf until sunrise. I don't think I'll ever get over living so close to the beach, especially a California beach. It's so grounding to be able to go to the beach whenever you want, stare out at the ocean and realize how insignificant your problems are in comparison to how big the world is. Just another spec on a planet with billions of specs.
The waves today were insane so by the time I'm finished, I'm exhausted and let myself rest on the blanket for a few minutes before heading back to my house. I like to use this time to reflect on myself and my life. I feel like life moves so fast. It's nice to wake up early and get some alone time with myself and the world.
I'm starting feel like I'm at a weird point in my life where I'm going to need to make some decisions soon. Life has been pretty good for a while now and that's definitely not a bad thing, but when life feels so easy for a few years, there's bound to be a shakeup soon. I'm a little unsure of where it's going to come from though. Everything in my life seems so stable.
I know. Who would have ever thought that I, Johanna Spencer, would be saying that her life is easy and stable? After everything I've gone through in my life, never in a million years did I think that I would say those words. Yet here I am. Amazing job, amazing boyfriend, stable income, living in my dream location. Unproblematic and uncomplicated.
Don't get it twisted though. It wasn't always like this. As you know, I've had a lot of ups and downs and it wasn't until a few years ago that things started being okay. I'm simply very fortunate it stayed that way. Looking back on everything that happened before, at the person I was, it's all very different from the way things are now.
But I feel like that's a story for another time.
I merely wanted to point out that I'm happy right now and that's when things tend to go wrong. I'm hoping that this time they won't, but I just have a feeling they will.
Once I feel like I've caught my breath, I strip off my wetsuit, throw on a big t-shirt, collect all my stuff and head towards my car. Another thing I like about my life is my car. I saved up for so many years to buy this car, it has actually been a dream of mine for forever. It's a Ford baby blue Bronco, which is the ideal beach car. It's perfect because I can ride down the beach with my top and windows down and feel the wind in my hair.
After situating my surfboard on my car, I hop in and head back to my house. It's only a ten minute walk to the beach, but I like to take every opportunity possible to use this car. I got extremely lucky with this house. It was actually my grandmother's house, she bought it way back in the seventies when it was significantly cheaper and held onto it until she passed away four years ago. She left it to me in her will and I've been living in it ever since I graduated from UC San Diego three years ago. It's a quaint little house, but the property is huge and I plan on expanding the house when I'm older. When I pull into my driveway, I check the time -- 6:45am -- which means my boyfriend should be up. I collect my stuff and make my way inside, stopping in the kitchen to start the coffee machine, knowing that he will be needing it as soon as he gets up.
I make my way into the bedroom and see him still asleep and can't help but smile, even though I see it every morning. He's sprawled out all over the bed, his hair a brown ruffled up mess and his mouth is open. He's actually the cutest person.
I hop into bed and crawl right up next to him, kissing him first on the forehead and then on the cheek until he opens his eyes. "What? That's it?" He asks in his raspy morning voice, a smile brightening his face.
"You have morning breath, babe," I say with a smile, moving my head back.
"Yeah, well you smell like salt, babe," He responds wittily, slowly looking more awake.
I roll my eyes. "I always smell like salt."
He wraps his hands around my waist and pulls me on top of him in such a swift move that I feel like I'm floating for a second since he does it so effortlessly. "You know you're a crazy person for waking up at 5am to go surfing in the middle of February," He says, before bringing his lips to mine, moving one of his hands to rest on the back of my head. I melt into his kiss, like I do every time he kisses me, and can't help but smile. "What are you smiling about?" He asks, pulling away.
"The fact that it's almost 7am and you slept through your alarm," I say with a smile, motioning towards the clock on his nightstand. His eyes widen and he throws me off of him.
"Shit," He curses, getting up. "I'm gonna be late for my shift."
I watch him stumble around the room, trying to find his scrubs and failing miserably. "Connor, sweetie. Your scrubs are on the chair and I already made coffee so go brush your teeth and get out of here."
He looks at me gratefully and runs into the bathroom to brush his teeth with his scrubs in hand. He's in his last year of medical school and they are doing internal medicine rotations to get more hands-on experience. His sleep schedule is a bit of a mess so I've been having to help him out a little with it, but he'll get the hang of it soon. He's usually really organized and put together so I have faith in him.
I met Connor during my sophomore year and his junior year of UCSD. He came over to my table at a coffee shop and said he thought I was beautiful and he wanted to help with my bio homework. I know, right? So cliche and kind of eye-roll worthy, but he's hot enough to pull it off. I was very hesitant at that point, given that it was ten months after everything went down and that for sure wasn't easy for me to get over.
But Connor, being the sweetest human being to walk this earth, was perfectly fine taking everything slow and here we are six and a half years later. We're living together now, he's 26 and I'm 25, so marriage should be something on my mind, but my trust issues really like to fuck with me. But forget that, I'm keeping up the positive thoughts. I'm happy right now. I love him to death, I love my job to death, I love San Diego death. I'm seriously in the best place right now.
Connor stumbles out of the bathroom, looking a little more put together than before. His hair is spiked back a bit and he's made it into his scrubs, so that's a start. "You look hot," I say from the bed, leaning my face into my hand perched up by my elbow.
He's grabbing all of his stuff, but he looks up and winks at me. "Don't I always? Bye baby," He says before running out the door, only to come running back in five seconds later.
"Forget something?" I ask.
He comes over to the bed and kisses me. "I don't think I tell you enough how much I love you. You're the best," He says to me before giving me one last kiss and heading out.
"I love you more," I tell him.
"Not possible," He calls out far away as I fall back on the bed with a smile. Seven years together and he still gives me butterflies.
* * *
After showering and getting dressed, I get into my car and head towards UC San Diego. I obviously did my bachelor's there, but their Institute of Oceanography is so great that I did my master's there as well. I just finished it last year and during my time there, I worked with an amazing professor and researcher, Carlos Garcia, and he invited me to work with him on his marine mammal research that he's doing. I started working with him back in September and it's been so amazing to work with him ever since. It's only the two of us and another guy he hired, Matt, who is also my age.
Carlos is a very well known researcher in marine biology but specifically in the field of marine mammals, and to be one of the two people he hired to work on this research is really insane. I'm also considering getting my doctorate in a year or two which I can do through him as well. I've been so fortunate to get this opportunity with him and we've built such a close relationship ever since.
I stop at a coffee shop on the way to the research lab because Carlos is a grumpy fifty year old when he doesn't have his coffee in the morning, and I'm too nice not to get it for him. When I arrive, a convenient fifteen minutes from my house, I park my car and head into the lab. As I make my way towards the lab, countless people stop in the hall to talk to me or greet me and it's honestly one of the best feelings to be well-respected in your field of work.
"Carlos! Coffee!" I call out as I walk through the door. He appears from his office as I sling my bag over my desk.
"My savior as always," He says, the hint of his Spanish accent peeking through. He came to the U.S. from Spain as a kid and has assimilated pretty fully, but a tiny hint of his accent still remains. "How were the waves this morning?" He asks, taking the coffee from my hands and already getting to work.
"They were actually crazy this morning. I was out of breath by the end of it," I tell him as I look through some of the papers I packed in my bag this morning. "Hey, did you see the dolphin brain complex study that came out on Tuesday by the biologists of DolyCo?"
He looks up, his eyes bright with excitement. "Yes! I was meaning to talk to you about that actually!" He exclaims, rushing over to his office to grab a paper from the fax machine and then coming right back over to me. "Marilyn Brady is going to a marine biology conference in New York next week and I reached out to her and she said that if we could find a spot at the conference, she would speak to us about the study. And I just so happened to find a spot."
I widen my eyes. "Hold on, Marilyn Brady is in the states?" Marilyn Brady is the founder of DolyCo which is a marine biologist organization based in Australia focused on marine mammal genetics. She hasn't left Australia in years and doesn't often do any interviews or work with any other marine biologists. The research we are doing is on dolphin genetics and getting the opportunity to speak to her about the study she just released would be so helpful. "You have to fly out!"
He smiles. "Well, you have to fly out," He says, handing me the paper. "I already have the ticket booked under your name. Echar una mano. You're helping me out."
"Wait, what?" I ask in shock. "Carlos, this is your life. How could you not go?"
He readjusts his rectangle framed glasses and rubs his scruff. "I want you to get out there, chica. New York is fun and you have been in San Diego for the past seven years. Plus, I know you can probably sweet talk her better than me," He says, giving me an elbow to the side.
I'm speechless at first. I've never even been to New York, and it seems worlds away from the life I'm living. I feel nerves bubble up in my stomach at the thousand things that could go wrong whether it be me messing up the one chance to talk to Marilyn or getting lost in the city, or even leaving Connor when he's clearly so stressed out and needs a support system.
"Carlos, you know how much I appreciate everything you have done for me. You're like a father to me, but I don't think I can accept. Maybe Matt is better suited-"
"No! Don't say anything right now," He interjects. "Think on it. Talk to Connor. Let me know tomorrow. Okay?"
I sigh. "Okay."
And then I get that feeling in my gut that something is about to change.
* * * * *
first chap eek so excited to share this book with u all and continue jo's story :)
han