We went inside to Rian's it was busy with people rushing to and from. Ryleigh had managed to pry Harrison away from Jack. Jack was pulled away from me to go be with some crew members. Lisa and Alex were somehow still connected at the hip. My parents were at this party or rather the event I should say. I looked around at everyone and was a little perplexed but how Jack had managed to put this all together without it getting back to me. I wondered how Rian's house still knowing my way around the house like the back of my hand. I quickly found the kitchen where there were all kinds of alcohol sitting out along with a little variety of sodas. I grabbed a soda can, popping it open, and began to drink from the can. I saw a pair of eyes from across the room and I knew them all too well. I momentarily forgot how to breathe as Zack came up to me. Zack must have noticed that something was off as he placed the back of his hand on my forehead and then snapped his fingers in front of my face.
"Earth to Logan," Zack said as I shook my head to look at his Hazel eyes.
"Hi Zack," I mumbled and stuck the cold soda can back up to my lips.
"You good? It's like you just saw a ghost,"
"I am fine thanks, Zack," by the time I answered him I watched the other person begin to leave the main room.
They were heading toward the back of the house. I was headed in the same direction as Zack had walked off probably to find Ryleigh or go tell Jack that he thought something was up. I quickly walked through the slightly crowded rooms saying a small 'excuse me'. I pushed through the ground though and I grabbed the person's arm. I felt him turn around and I knew just by looking at his face who I was looking at. I dropped my can of sodas on the ground and took a few steps back.
"Logan-I-"
"Oh my god," I breathed out.
A few people had begun to watch our encounter but it was nothing too bad yet. We stood there still as could be. I wanted to scream at him so hard. I wanted to hurt him in the way he had hurt but I just stood there like a statue. I watched as he looked at his watch than a clock on the wall and began to head out the back door. I quickly followed him closing the door behind us.
"What the hell?" I screamed as he walked through the grass and toward the fence and began to climb over it.
"What do you mean what the hell?" He said and it was like we back to being the people we used to be.
"I don't know. I must fucking really be losing my god damn mind," I said and ran my fingers through my hair.
I began to panicking thinking I was really insane. I felt him slip his hand through the fence and with a delicate touch squeeze my hand. He looked at me before letting my fingers slip back through his and then taking his hand away from the fence and running through the area behind Rian's house. I couldn't help but worry about him being out there but I couldn't endanger others by chasing after him. I made the decision to hop over the fence and follow him.
The sticks make cracking noises under my feet as I followed after him. He didn't bother to run this time like he was trying to escape something. He walked calmly like he knew where he was going. Did he know where he was going? I followed as he kept looking up at the sky making it knowing I was there.
"Where are we going?" I said as he turned around and shook his head at me.
"You should have never followed me. You're not supposed to know," He whispered and took ahold of my shoulders turning me around. I couldn't help but be mesmerized still by his green eyes.
"Please Logan go back. Please go back to your perfect life and family," He whispered, and with that, before I knew it he disappeared into the night.
I felt my phone begin to buzz in my back pocket. I pulled it out seeing it was Jack who was calling. I ignored the call and looked out into the woods in front of me and couldn't help but feel this massive part of my head telling me to go. But this part of my heart telling me to head back. I followed my heart and began to walk back to the party taking the long way back around the house. I let myself back in as Ryleigh stood on the opposite side of the door holding Harrison looking ready to leave.
"Hey, where were you? We were just getting ready to head out and look for you. Well, I was going to go and put Harrison down. Jack said we could babysit him tonight that you guys needed alone time." Ryleigh said with a slight giggle.
I didn't know how to form a coherent sentence to Ryleigh so I just nodded. I went straight through the now smaller crowd of people. I found the person who I was looking for standing beside his wife and with his friends. I didn't bother going to Jack with this issue I went straight to Alex. I grabbed his left arm tugging at it.
"I-uh. Oh hey, Logan! did you need something?" Alex said looking at me.
"There you are! I was going to ask if you if it was okay to let Zack and Ryleigh practice their parenting on Harrison for a few nights. I went ahead and told them it was okay," Jack said and I just focused my stare at Alex.
I felt like my tongue had been stolen from me after seeing him. He looked the same way he did all those months ago. I looked at Alex as he began to notice I wasn't okay. Jack was a little intoxicated and couldn't really process me completely. Rian noticed it too while Zack disbanded from the group to go be with Ryleigh. They were probably getting ready to leave which was fine.
"Logan?" Rian asked as I whipped around in fear.
I heard my name about seventy more times from different directions as I put my hands to my ears. I couldn't do it. I went outside and sat on the chair looking up at the stairs. Alex came out and sat beside me.
"What's up Logan and don't go to shutting me out," Alex spoke but I didn't think I couldn't trust him.
I knew he would think I was insane if I told him. I couldn't tell anyone who I saw tonight. They all would want to lock me up permanently. I couldn't do it. I began to feel the tears begin to trickle down my face. There was this small part of that wanted to trust Alex more than anyone in the world.
"I saw someone tonight. Someone who-I can't tell you. I am so sorry Alex," I sobbed as I moved to put my head into his chest.
"no, no, sh, you're okay," Alex whispered into my head while rubbing my back.
"I want to go home with Jack. I think I just need to sleep this off. I am sorry. I just-" Rian came out onto the step as Alex understood that I wanted him to get Jack because I was ready to leave.
"Does it have something to do with Zack telling everyone earlier you were sick?" Rian asked and I thought for a moment before nodding my head.
"Someone said something happened not too long ago maybe an hour or two right when you disappeared. Did someone hurt you?" Rian asked me while I shook my head.
Yes, he hurt me. He hurt me in more ways than one, but lying to me is what hurt me the most. He would never know the things he did to me. I loved him at that moment. I knew when I saw him today I wasn't in love with him not anymore. But, those memories that I thought I buried with him were still there to be lived.
"Logan?" Rian asked squatting in front of me to look into my eyes filled with fear.
I looked Rian's back fence knowing he was out there. I couldn't do anything but keep my mouth shut which was not hard for me. I looked at the back fence then at Rian. I put my hand off his face as he closed his eyes and placed a hand on my back. Rian was always that big brother everyone needed sometimes. Where Ryleigh was my best friend and could read me like a book. Alex was my person in we understood each other the same way. Rian was just my big brother and he wanted to always get to the root of a problem so we could fix it there and not wait until it was to a breaking point. He had admitted he was afraid one day I'd leave again and be untouchable.
"Logan I can only help you if you tell me," Rian said as I looked at the door.
"You'll think I am insane," I said looking at my hands as I drew my hand away from his face.
"I will never think you are insane Logan. Yeah, I thought you were multiple times before this but I don't think you are legally crazy."
"I saw him today," I said softly enough to barely be heard.
"Saw who?" Jack said sliding up beside me as Rian looked at me knowing I was going to shut down again.
I didn't though I took a steady breath and looked at Alex and my dad who stood side by side.
"I saw Tobias and he jumped the fence running back into the back. He told me I had to come back and continue living this perfect life. I should have run after him and brought him back but he was standing there and he looked just like he did before. I feel insane. I know it's not real it can't be real I know he is dead," I rambled while Dad physically paled and Alex putting a hand to his face rubbing it.