A/N: I was too lazy to edit and proofread. I'll do it next chapter tho. I promise.
Monday - November 11, 2019 🌺
Huening Kai woke up around 4am so he could finish his homework and then email his teachers and the school. He excused himself, saying he was sick and unwell just like Jaehyun said. After getting his work, he went back to sleep, way too tired to start yet. While he was asleep, Jaehyun got ready for work, being as quiet as he could and making sure to check on Huening Kai before he left. He looked at the boy who was sleeping peacefully and he had to urge to maybe kiss him goodbye or leave a note saying sorry for what happened last night. He shook those thoughts out of his head and then frowned, he was still mad that he had been lied to like that. Especially from the person he probably trusted the most. Jaehyun sighed and closed the door to leave. He walked downstairs, grabbed his key and off he was to work. After a couple hours, Huening Kai woke up to his alarm and immediately got up. He had a busy day. School work, chores, dinner, and he had to practice his part for the duet with Soobin. They were supposed to be working on it themselves which is why it wasn't a problem he wasn't with Soobin, but he did miss him already. Huening Kai washed up in the bathroom and then went to the kitchen to have some cereal for breakfast. It was very quiet and dull in the house now. But some peace was somewhat nice to Huening Kai. After breakfast, Huening Kai put away his dishes and went back to his room to start on school work. It was just like homeschool so it wouldn't be hard. Just finish the assignment on your own, submit it and move on to the next. Luckily for Kai, he was able to finish all his work after 4 hours. He put all his supplies away and then pulled out the lyric sheet for his duet with Soobin. He cleared his throat before practicing the same way he would if he was in Soobin's room. He took his time, balanced his pitch and made sure to pronounce the words as correct as possible.
Seems like we’ve been here before
Your eyes are seeing straight right through my core
It’s kinda strange, but I like it
Ain’t no reason tryna’ fight it, yeah
Might be Déjà vu
First time we met, but I remembered you
We were creepin’ in the night time
Maybe in another lifetime
Don’t tell me you don’t feel what I feel right now
Whoo, it’s written all over you
Don’t tell me you don’t feel what I feel somehow
Oooh, I keep findin’ my way back to you
You can go anywhere babe, wherever you want
Because I know we’re written in the stars
You can go any which way, don’t matter how far
Because I know we’re written in the stars
Huening Kai sighed softly and put the paper aside. He started to doubt even trying anymore. If anything, Jaehyun was not gonna let him go to the festival, let alone go do some duet with Soobin. He fell back into his bed and stared at the ceiling. Jaehyun had never been as controlling as now. He had done it before but that was when he was younger and it wasn't as extreme. Then again, a lot of things were different then. After a few minutes of moping around, Huening Kai got up and decided to go start on his chores. Wash the dishes, sweep, organize, dust off, and wipe down most of the surfaces. Almost everyday he did this, so it would go by pretty fast and it does help get his mind of Jaehyun and his mental health issues and worries.
Time Skipppp
Huening Kai chopped up his vegetables, swinging his hips side to side as he listened to Ariana Grande's album, thank you next. (stan the queen of pop y'all) He threw them into the pan of meat, kimchi, and seasonings. He started to mix just a little bit before he added some rice. After adding the rice, he put the sauce in and mixed it thoroughly. He hummed to his music while cooking, being in a pretty good mood actually. After using the stove for what felt like hours, he turned it off and went through the cabinets for some bowls. Immediately after carefully pulling them out, Huening Kai heard the front door open. In came Jaehyun, looking exhausted from work. He threw his bag on the floor and stumbled towards the dining table.
"Hi Hyung, how was work?". Huening Kai greeted.
"Horrible......". Jaehyun answered in a quiet and bitter voice. Huening Kai glanced back at his Hyung with a sympathetic smile and quicky grabbed some chopsticks for their food. He sat next to Jaehyun and handed him his dinner with a smile.
"Have some dinner Hyung. You've had a long day". He said. Jaehyun sighed and nodded, still looking down with a blank expression. The two ate in silence which wasn't really unusual. But Huening Kai felt like he needed to talk to Jaehyun if he seemed this upset. Before Jaehyun walked off to his room, Huening Kai grabbed onto his wrist to pull him into a hug. The younger hugged the offer tightly, trying to offer his comfort but the older wouldn't respond back. "Hyung......what's going on? Why are you upset?". The younger asked.
"It's nothing".
"But it is. I can tell it's really hurting you".
"It's not....".
Huening Kai sighed and pulled away to face Jaehyun. "Please let me comfort you. I don't want to see you sad okay? You can do anything but cry and mope around. If you need to hurt me, throw things, break things, then go ahead. I would rather see you like that then sad. Because as much as it hurts from the way you treat me, it hurts more when I see you like this. So please tell me what wrong".
Jaehyun looked in Huening Kai's eyes for a few seconds before breaking down in tears. He hugged Huening Kai tightly and started to rant on.
"Why am I so worthless no matter what I do!? Whether I'm a good person or not, I can't do anything wrong or anything that matters! I fucking hate myself and everything! I hate my job! I hate my friends! I hate my coworkers and my boss! I hate my life! As much as I hate myself! I don't deserve anything from you Kai! You know that! So why don't you just let me go!? Let me die! I can do it right now!".
"Jaehyun Hyung! No! I won't let you kill yourself! No matter how much people or yourself hates you! Because I don't hate you! I still love you despite who you are okay!? Don't you think that's enough for you?".
"It's too much for me Kai..... you're more than what I deserve. You're exactly everything I can't have. Everything I shouldn't have because of what I do to you and everyone around me....". Jaehyun clutched onto Huening Kai's shirt, sobbing uncontrollably. Huening Kai just let him. He always did. He let him do what needed and what he wanted. He just wished that sometimes, it would enough to keep him happy. Because they'd be sharing a sweet and sad moment before suddenly going through the pain again. It went in a pattern over and over. First he was sad, then he was insecure, then he got quiet before getting angry, controlling, abusive, and he'd be sorry for it and be all nice, but then just repeat everything again. Huening Kai couldn't help but love his Hyung. He would rather fight with him and get hurt by him then have to leave him to fend for himself. And it hurt. So much.
Tuesday - November 12, 2019 🌺
"Hyung Stop! You need to stop!".
"Shut up Kai!".
"Jaehyun Hyung!".
"Just go to your damn room Kai!!".
Sounds of glass shattering, things being thrown, broken, Jaehyun's screaming, and Huening Kai's protests filled the house. Jaehyun wouldn't stop letting his anger and grief get the best of him. He was going crazy and Huening Kai was trying to stop him but it was no use. Jaehyun kept pushing him away and then going back to his tantrum.
"Hyung! Put the stuff down and let us talk this out! Please!". Huening Kai begged.
Jaehyun screamed manically before throwing a plate across the room. He suddenly felt Huening Kai hug him from behind to try and restrain him. He resisted as much as he could and pushed the younger off of him. "LEAVE ME ALONE! I DON'T WANT YOU HERE!".
"I DONT CARE! I WANT TO BE HERE FOR YOU!".
"WELL THEN THAT SUCKS SINCE IM LEAVING ANYWAY!". Jaehyun was quick to look through the drawers for something sharp, most preferably a knife to use. Huening Kai immediately knew what that meant and stopped Jaehyun before he stabbed himself.
"PUT THE KNIFE DOWN! YOU'RE NOT KILLING YOURSELF!". Huening Kai used all his strength to grab onto the knife handle and keep it away from Jaehyun.
"Stop stopping me!".
"Stop stopping me from stopping you!".
"No!".
"Then I won't stop either!". After a few seconds, Huening Kai managed to grab the knife out of Jaehyun's hands and put it above the cabinets. (Cuz he's really tall) Jaehyun growled and attempted to just grab another knife but Huening Kai dragged him out of the kitchen to the living room. He hugged him tightly so he couldn't get away.
"Let me go! Now! That's a demand from Hyung!". Jaehyun yelled, unable to fight the younger's grip.
"No jaehyun Hyung! I can't let you hurt yourself like that! I can't!". Huening Kai replied. Jaehyun growled louder this time before looking around to find a way to get out. He saw a bottle of Tylenol on the table and reached over to grab it. It caught the younger off guard but he slapped the pills out of his hand before he could take any. "STOP IT!".
"WHY ARE YOU BEING LIKE THIS!? JUST LET IT HAPPEN! ITS FOR THE BEST!".
"NO ITS NOT! I DON'T CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU OR EOMMA SAID! IM NOT GONNA LET YOU KILL YOURSELF! ILL STOP YOU EVERY SINGLE TIME!".
"BUT I DONT WANT YOU TO!".
"WELL TOO BAD THEN!". Huening Kai breathed heavily, unable to argue with Jaehyun anymore. His hug on Jaehyun loosened and he just leaned forward to lay on the older. Jaehyun surprisingly did not try to get up or continue what happened before. He just sighed and let a few tears fall down his cheeks. Huening Kai wiped them away gently before speaking with a soft voice. "Just cry and let it out Hyung. It's alright".
Jaehyun started to cry softly after the younger said that. It went on for hours. Huening Kai hugged him tightly, saying what he could to calm down Jaehyun or make him feel better. But it was never enough.
Wednesday - November 13, 2019 🌺
Huening Kai sat on his bed, staring at his computer screen that displayed most of his finished school work. After a few minutes, his phone started blowing up with texts and missed calls. He sighed and opened his phone to see Taehyun had contacted him quite a lot. His texts saying he was worried, asking what was wrong and if things were okay, why he was ignoring him and why he hadn't gone to school or talked to anyone. Huening Kai just threw his phone on his desk, he couldn't answer and he knew Taehyun was probably freaking out now. He never not told him what was going on. After Huening Kai finished the movie, he shut his computer off and then sat by his window, gazing outside. He was lost in his thoughts now. After a few minutes, something caught his eye. He saw Taehyun walking towards his house and he almost fell back in the shock. He started to hyperventilate. Jaehyun wasn't here to shoo him off and he didn't want to make it seem like he was avoiding Taehyun, even though he technically was. While he was looking out his window, Taehyun looked straight at him and called out his name. Huening Kai gasped and backed away from the window to hide. Then the doorbell started to ring over and over. He slowly opened his window and could hear Taehyun now. He knocked aggressively, sounding upset and concerned.
"Huening Kai! Open this damn door! What is going on!? Don't you understand I'm worried!? Why aren't you answering your phone!?..............Hyuka! I know you're in there! I saw you! So please open the door and talk to me!". Silence was all that was heard now. Huening Kai felt so guilty when he heard Taehyun's soft but sad sigh. He peeked through the window and saw Taehyun leaving. Huening Kai sighed in relief and slowly fell down onto the floor, resting against the wall. He sighed loudly and hugged his knees while staring off into space, feeling bad about Taehyun.
______________________________________
(Time Skip to middle of night)
Huening Kai tip toed out of his room, clutching onto his blanket as he walked towards Jaehyun's room. He slowly opened the door and closed it quietly. He didn't want to scare his Hyung. He saw Jaehyun laying there, curled up into a ball. When he saw his face, he sighed. Jaehyun had probably got done crying from nightmare. He looked so numb and tired. Huening Kai carefully sat next to Jaehyun and put the blanket over him. Huening Kai smiled and brought Jaehyun onto his lap. He caressed the older's head softly and spoke softly, even though he knew the older wouldn't answer or even move. "You should go to sleep Hyung. It's very late and we both have to get up early tomorrow". The older just nodded. The younger sighed softly and then leaned back against his pillow. "I'll sing something alright?". He asked, looking down at the older who didn't do anything.
Marshmello & Halsey - Be Kind - Stripped
(it's much softer since it's a lullaby to Jaehyun)
Wanna believe, wanna believe
That you don't have a bad bone in your body
But the bruises on your ego make you go wild, wild, wild, yeah
Wanna believe, wanna believe
That even when you're stone cold, you're sorry
Tell me why you gotta be so out of your mind, yeah
I know you're chokin' on your fears
Already told you I'm right here
I will stay by your side every night
I don't know why you hide from the one
And close your eyes to the one
Mess up and lie to the one that you love
When you know you can cry to the one
Always confide in the one
You can be kind to the one that you love
Ah
I know you need, I know you need
The upper hand even when we aren't fighting
'Cause in the past, you had to prepare every time, yeah
Don't wanna leave, don't wanna leave
But if you're gonna fight then do it for me
I know you're built to love, but broken now, so just try, yeah
I know you're chokin' on your fears
Already told you, I'm right here
I will stay by your side every night
I don't know why you hide from the one
And close your eyes to the one
Mess up and lie to the one that you love
When you know you can cry to the one
Always confide in the one
You can be kind to the one that you love
Ah
I know it's hard for you, but it's not fair
Going sick in the head tryna get you there
And I know it's hard for you, but it's not fair
It's not fair
I don't know why you hide from the one
And close your eyes to the one
Mess up and lie to the one that you love
When you know you can cry to the one
Always confide in the one
You can be kind to the one that you love
..................
When you know you can cry to the one
Always confide in the one
You can be kind to the one that you love
And soon, both Jaehyun and Huening Kai fell asleep peacefully.
A/N: ik ik. This one is short and sad and very unexpected but like I'm trying here. It's probably a bit disappointing and not interesting so I'm sorry lol. I'm basically working my butt of to write a bunch of chapters because I missed out so much before. So yeah, that's that. Uhhh I don't have much to say besides that. Because I'm bored tho, I'mma ask y'all a question. Very random and probably weird but y'all know I'm weird and nosy.
If you stan Ariana, what's your favorite song from her and why?
If not, then what's your favorite song and why?
Alright done. Bye. Love you.