"All the clouds in me are raining."
"I can't marry you, "Taehyung says his voice low which was barely audible.
My brain stutters for a moment and my eyes take in more light than I expected, every part of me goes on pause while my thoughts catch up. After a wash of cold, I can't even believe my ears.
Dread owns me, pushing against me like an invisible gale, attempting to reverse my steps back to my bed. Dread has my stomach locked up tight, nothing getting in or out. Dread sets my face like rigor mortis, my teeth locked tight together. But unless it can turn back time, drag the sun from the sky.
"What?"My voice cracks."I want to cancel our wedding. I can't marry you."He says, his eyes glimmering with watery tears. I can't sink in that information in my brain. It is so sudden and unexpected. I feel as if the whole world is about to crumble. I step up from my seat as I was feeling like to scream at him.
"What do you mean by canceling the wedding? Our wedding is tomorrow. You can't do this to me." I said as the sadness flowed through my veins and deadened my mind. It was as if a black mist had settled upon me and refused to shift, and no matter how bright the day was I would feel no sun and hear no bird song just like I did earlier. For the world was lost to me.
"I just figured that I'm not ready to marry you yet."He said with tear-filled eyes and voice choked in emotion. All my mind was saying, No.No, this can't be. Maybe I'm in a nightmare. I will wake up in a few minutes. But it is not convincing. It is too real to be a nightmare. Oh!How much I wish this to be a nightmare!
"Why?"I asked him as I can't hold my tears anymore. People around us started to look at us, judging us. But at this moment, I don't care what they are thinking. Now, I could only think about why? Why he have to cancel our wedding?
Tears started to stream down my rosy cheeks and my vision becomes a blur. He doesn't answer.
His eyes shifted to the side again and became glazed with a glossy layer of tears. As he blinked, they dripped from his eyelids and slid down his cheeks. He bit his lip tightly in an attempt to hide any sound that wanted to escape from his mouth.
He doesn't answer why he's doing that. He just cries. That was the breaking point of my patience. At that moment, I was blinded by a five-course serving of rage that tasted bitter.
Anger boiled deep in my system, as hot as lava. It churned within, hungry for destruction, and I know it's too much for me to handle. The pressure of this raging sea of anger would force me to say things I do not mean. I know I have to get out of here before I erupt in my furious state. I know that this feeling will pass, but while it hasn't, I'm well aware I could really hurt people. So I escape. I run.
I run out of there as I started to drown on my tears. But I tried my best to hold it in as I was in public.
As I reached my home, the tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down my face. I feel the muscles of my chin tremble like a small child as I fall in my knees and I look toward the window as if the light could soothe me. There is static in my head once more, the side effect of this constant fear, constant stress I live with. I hear my own sounds, like a distressed child, raw from the inside.
My mom comes rushing towards me as she holds me in her embrace. It was more than crying, it was the kind of desolate sobbing that comes from me drained of all hope. I sank to my knees on the cold floor. My tears mingled soaking my mom's clothes and my gasping wails echoed around the room. The pain that flowed from me was as palpable as the frigid fall wind.
She pats my back in a soothing manner in order to calm me. I lose track of time as I let out sorrow by crying in my mom's embrace. After some time as I could feel my eyes burn from crying, as tears don't come out of my eyes. But my heart still aches because of the sudden news.
He could've told me that earlier. Why he has to do that today? My mom pulls me out from her embrace to face her. Her tip of the nose was red as well as her eyes. She cried as well, not knowing why I was crying. She knows how we loved each other.
"He can't marry me, "I said as my brain started to believe the fact. But it hurts. It hurts so much. My mom widens her eyes in shock as she couldn't believe me, just like I did earlier. Actually, it's too unexpected.
I stood up on my feet as I rushed to my room, slamming the door. As soon as I entered my room my phone buzzes. I took out my phone to notice another message from that unknown.
"How does it feel now?"