The woman instantly cried seeing the state her youngest son was in. When the news about his scandal broke out, she wasted no time to book a flight to Seoul, even ignoring the protests of her husband. But who knew that something much worse was about to come?
The girl who she had grown to love, and who she already recognized as her daughter is gone. God, she's still in disbelief, and she wasn't the only one. The world grieved, and is still in a state of shock, even though two days have already passed.
Yes, two days, and she wasn't able to check up on Ki-Ryeong because she had to help her dear friends, Lilac's parents. In this entire situation, they are the ones who needed support the most. She still sent her eldest to check up on his brother from time to time, his members would as well, but Kihyun and the boys always end up with dismay and sadness etched on their faces. Now, she can see why.
"Kio, mom's here," she gently muttered as she carefully approached him. The reek of alcohol immediately attacked her senses, causing another set of tears to escape her eyes. There were empty plates on the center table, an untouched cake that is now spoiled, a wilted tiger lily and on the floor beside her son was an unfamiliar hourglass.
Kio looked up, a little disoriented at first. His swollen eyes were evident, he was pale and it just seems like... he's lost.
"Oh no... sweetie," the woman sobbed, pulling her son into her chest. "I am so sorry, mom's here now..."
"Mom," his voice cracked.
"I'm here, honey."
"Li... L-Lilac is..."
"She's going to be fine. She's in a better place now," she whispered as her arms tightened around him.
Ki-Ryeong sobbed, "I can't sleep. I don't want to sleep... because I'm waiting for her. But she won't come back..."
"Honey, she won't be happy seeing you like this."
"I just want to see her for the last time," he begged. "Mom, I miss her... I miss her so much. I haven't apologized to her yet. You see these?," he leaned away, gesturing around the living toom. "She prepared all these for me."
"She had always been good at this things, even though she's a bit clumsy, don't you think?," the matriarch tearfully smiled.
There was a momentary silence before he spoke once again; "Mom."
"Hmm?"
"I want to quit."
She took a deep breath, "Kio—"
Her son looked straight into her eyes, "I don't think I will be the same again, after this."
.°•⏳°.•
Soonho sighed at the sight of his friend, while his companion just emotionlessly entered the apartment and snatched the bottle of soju from Ki-Ryeong, causing the guy to look up.
Kio immediately frowned, confused as to how this unlikely pair would visit him. He then watched as Asher emptied the bottle, and sat down the floor a couple of feet away. Soonho followed suit—adjacent to Ash—so it turns out like they formed a triangle, facing each other.
"She's leaving tomorrow, aren't you going to see her?," Soonho broke the silence.
Kio shook his head no, reaching out for another bottle of soju.
"Are you trying to kill yourself?," the former added, furrowing his eyebrows. "Your mother even visited you here yesterday, and you're still being like this?"
"Let him," Asher coldly replied while uncapping another bottle for himself. "That's exactly what he wants. As if you will see her, you're going to hell," he snickered.
Kio laughed drunkenly, "touché."
"I heard you haven't slept..." Soonho drawled.
The youngest looked at his guests, "have you?" The two remained silent. There, he got his expected response. "I know why you both came here, I may look and sound drunk but the nightmares keep me sober. I can still think straight."
"You just said you haven't slept, how can you have nightmares?," Asher sarcastically asked.
"Aren't we living in one?"
No one bothered to say more and the silence stretched once again. Soonho wasn't able to control himself anymore and reached out for a bottle as well. The trio quietly drank with different thoughts clouding their minds, but the same despair lingering in their hearts. Agony was written all over their faces, all caused by the girl who left them too soon.
"I'm not strong like you two. I can't... let her go. I don't know when will I be able to accept it," Kio whispered, enough for the two to hear.
"The last time we met," Soonho suddenly opened up. "She said I was her soulmate, and we're supposed to stay in each other's lives for a lifetime. I promised I will never leave her," he drank from his bottle. "She's the one who ended up leaving me."
Asher swallowed the lump in his throat and stared ahead. "The last thing I told her was that I'm coming to get her, and she should wait for me," he looked down. "I wasn't able to. I'm always too late."
Kio chuckled, catching the pair's attention. "She once told me she's going to consider marrying me in three years, but I ruined it all," he messed up his hair, forcefully laughing. "Among the three of us, I lose." He picked up the hourglass beside him, and stared at it like it was the most precious thing he possessed.
"You both can still go on with your lives, thinking that she left with the thought of you as two of the people who had always been there for her. But I— she-she took her last breath probably thinking that I don't love her anymore. I fucked up, big time."
He then clicked a button on the foot of the hourglass. A faint sound of vibration from its small speaker instantly followed, indicating that it was on. He turned it upside down and in just a second, a familiar singing voice filled the room.
"Is that..." Soonho sobbed.
They were silent the whole song, just letting her voice give their cold hearts a shed of warmth. The past days felt like their source of light was stolen from them, leaving them in complete darkness. Living won't ever feel the same again without Lilac.
"At this point, I can do anything just to see her again and tell her that I never stopped loving her. It's okay if she's not going to forgive me, she can even hate me, I just want her to know," Kio uttered.
Asher stared at the hourglass, silently crying. "Is that it? You're going to live like this because of your regrets? Because like you said, you lost," his eyes averted to the youngest. "You promised you will redeem yourself, but with you just wallowing here and constantly wishing for something that's never going to happen, it will lead you nowhere."
"What's the point? She's not here anymore."
"You just proved that you're still hoping for a chance to be with her after the stunt you pulled. All this time, I thought you're going to do it for yourself."
Kio stiffened, "But how can I..."
"She's gone and you have to live with it. You think after this, your mistakes are forever going to be forgotten? No Ki-Ryeong, you still have to face them. Clean up your mess like you said so." Ash bitterly smiled, "she's not here anymore but she still saved your ass from a nasty scandal which, in the first place, was your betrayal to her."
"Asher," Soonho called out, trying to stop the guy, and glancing at Kio who's now in a daze.
"Don't pity him or he will stay this way. He needs a reality check sometimes. He wants to see Lilac for the last time? He's really going to show himself in front of her like this?"
Soonho turned back to Kio, "you may be suffering more than us, and it may be harder for you, but we are grieving too. You can take as much time as you want but make sure you'll still try to keep going after this."
The two stood up, gazed at Ki-Ryeong for the last time, before leaving.
•.°⏳•°.
The fourth day was when the public ceremony will be held. It is the day Lilac's parents are going to bring her back to Thailand. The couple chose not to be selfish, they knew how many people loved their daughter. Even the government of the country knew how big of a deal the foreign idol's death was.
That day, the route from the funeral hall to the airport was barricaded and opened exclusively for the fans. Before the family board the private plane, there will also be a short ceremony at the tarmac of the airport, with seperate areas for fans and the media—both local and international. This day is a big deal for most, but not everyone.
As expected, Kio's scandal began resurfacing again especially when no one have seen him for the last four days. RAVN and K4RMA's once-hidden friendship shocked everyone the first two days after the news broke out. Photos of the boys accompanying the girls in the hospital were published by the media. It was further proven when they also stayed in the funeral hall, and helped Lilac's family and the three girls, along with Gun, Minhwan, Soonho and Enzo—the friend group wherein Kio was supposed to be a part of.
But the boy was never there, and it started worrying some fans. They started getting mad at the boys' company, thinking that the management was prohibiting him to attend the funeral because of the scandal—which was yet to be taken care of. The grieving fans of course, were pissed off.
How can these insensitive people worry about their idol amidst all that is happening? They should at least respect Lilac! This. This is the reality of the industry everyone's going crazy about—chaotic and toxic.
And it didn't stop there... because the boy they have been looking for, finally showed up.
That winter morning was gloomy, and it even started pouring. Everyone had umbrellas above their heads as they mourned. The ceremony just ended when a figure started walking towards the decorated altar, suited up but completely soaked, holding a fresh piece of tiger lily and nothing else.
The world stilled as they watch the boy stop right in front of her framed photo, put the flower in the vacant space left on the wooden table, and slowly made a full bow. He stayed there for a few of minutes, under the rain, shoulders shaking as he sobbed, his voice reaching only the ones in the front row—people who were also acquainted with him.
"I'm sorry. I love you. Please, please... don't leave me."