MAHIR
What is this all? I've never knew my life is this fucked up, and I spoiled even the sisters life.
Bela loved me and left for Bani's happiness. Bani hid about her pregnancy complications for a reason.
And I have no say in any of the matters?
I wiped my tears and continued reading the journal.
This is the best decision I've taken for you Mahir.
You must be cursing me for taking this decision Mahir,but I have to do it to mend my mistakes. Only I know how I used to cry daily for taking this decision.
I wanted to grow old with you,I wanted to held our baby,I know you were expecting a girl child,but secretly even I was expecting a girl child.
We decided that if we get a girl child,we will name her as 'Mahira'.
My Mahir's Mahira! The love which Mahir gave me, the love which I will be giving you all you're life.
Our Mahira! But I will not be with you to take care of the baby. You will be having Bela with you.
Yes Mahir! It's Bela and it will always be Bela.
You both are made for each other. You are destined to be together. God knows it from the beginning, that's why he is taking me down from your life.
I've known my sister from childhood Mahir,she is so stubborn. But I dint knew she gave up so easily on you.
I thought she is stubborn and will try to get you back, but I was wrong.
She loves me and you more than her stubbornness, that's why she left.
I dint inform anyone of you about my complications,I wanted to inform only Bela.
But,she will put her sanity in risk to save me and will inform you all. So I never wanted to inform anyone of you.
I used to talk to my baby daily,I used to tell the baby about Bela and you. Your friendship,your banters,your stubbornness,her stubbornness, everything.
As they say,at a point the baby listens to what their mother say. I used to tell my baby about you and Bela.
And I'm sure,our baby will bond very well with Bela after my end.
My eyes used to sting with tears whenever I used to write this journal.
The tears of pain that I will not be a part of our baby's life, not being a part of your life,not being a parent to the child I gave birth.
Bela almost sacrificed her life for me, this is a very small thing I'm doing for her.
But Mahir,please don't be angry on Bela for leaving you like this,she had her reasons,it's her point of view.
Even you will be filled with tears when you get to know about her pain.
Sumi aunty also knew about Bela's love after our wedding,she informed Andy uncle about it during her last breath.
Even they knew about Bela's love and sacrifice,but even they were in a helpless situation just like my dad.
Sumi aunty always wished for you and Bela being together,but she was happy even after we got married. But she used to wait for Bela just like you and me.
I started to feel like I've spoiled your life Mahir! Not only yours,but even my own sister's too. I was carrying this guilt since the time I knew about Bela's love.
She will come Mahir. She will come to meet me when I will be on my death bed. And I'm sure,we will have a baby girl.
My only wish was you and Bela getting married. Taking care of our baby. I know you would not agree,but you will agree eventually. You cannot be angry on Bela for so long. I know that.
Or I can say,its my last wish!
She will fill the void in your life Mahir, you already lost your mother and you will soon loose me. Bela is the only one who can comfort you from your pain.
She will become the best mother for our baby.
You both must be feeling incomplete. You lost me and Bela lost you.
She will give the love which I couldn't give you,she will not leave you alone like me. She will not leave our baby like me.
She will become the best mother,your wife, your friend,she will be best in everything.
My Bela will surely come back to see me on my death bed,she will break down,but she has to obey my wish.
You have to obey my wish,you both have to obey my wish for your happiness.
For our baby's happiness!
I'm very sure that we will have a baby girl, and I mentally decided that it will be our Mahira.
I wrote this journal for a reason Mahir! You have to control your anger issues especially when it comes to Bela.
I asked you to read this journal on our baby's first birthday because,by the time you will be married to Bela.
And....you would be in her love Mahir!
I know very well about you,accept it that you loved Bela during our college days.
You may feel guilty that you are cheating on me for feeling for Bela. But that's not the true Mahir.
You don't have to be guilty! You are not cheating on me. You are just getting your love back.
You must have accepted that you love Bela now,I knew about it. But you have to realize that you loved her even in the past.
Think about it and tell it to Bela. It's not me or someone else to know. It's Bela who should know about it.
She deserves to know!
I want to tell you one last thing Mahir!
You loved Bela in the past,but it got diluted by my love!
You will marry her and will fall for her!
You will propose her one day, that day should be special to her!
You both deserve all the love and happiness. Don't think about me Mahir.
I'm just here to bring you both close. That is my part in both your life.
But I too loved you Mahir! I've never loved anyone this much as mush as I loved you.
I love you Mahir.....and I will always love you.
Don't feel guilty for loving Bela, don't feel guilty that you are cheating on me.
Love can happen twice! And there is nothing wrong in that.
You may still not accept that you loved Bela in the past,but I just want to say one thing about it.
When you love two person's,you will definitely end up with the second person.
Reason: You will not choose a second person if you love the first person. If you are not sure about the first person, then you will choose a second person.
I'm the first person and Bela is the second person in your life Mahir.
It's clear! I cannot explain more than this.
Be happy and make her happy. I will miss you and my baby. I will miss all those special moments of our baby.
But our baby should never miss the love of her mother.And only Bela can fulfill our baby's life with a complete family.
I love you so much Mahir,forget the past and move on with your future with the right person.
-Bani Mahir Sehgal
I slumped on the floor with this book in my hands. My life is still a mess.
"Why Bani...why did you do this"?I asked myself sobbing.
"You took such a big decision without asking me,but you showed me the truth of my life",I closed my eyes feeling more guilty now.
I never knew these both sisters sacrificed alot for each other.And me being the reason is killing me.
BELA and BANI!
They both entered my life in a different way and ended up in a different way.
I don't know I should thank God for sending Bela again in my life or should I be angry on him for taking Bani away from me?
Bela came as a friend and ended up being my love,Bani came as my love and ended up going away from me.....but she gave me two precious gifts even while leaving me.
She loved me so much that she thought only about my happiness even after her death.
What should I say?
Do I deserve these sisters love?
Everything happens for a cause,and Bela left for a cause,but Bani too choosed to leave me for a cause.
And it's love!
Sheer love...pure love without any impurities.
I'm an impurity in their life,they parted because of me,I'm the reason both were apart.
An unbreakable bond of the sisters broke because of me....do I deserve any one of them?
Tomorrow is Bani's death anniversary,I should accept that she is no more. I have to tell my feelings to Bela.
She waited enough for me. I can't let her wait more.
Bani is right! I know what to do now.
I have to forget Bani to move on with Bela.I can't get close to Bela until I forget Bani completely...it's difficult to forget Bani,but I have to.
I can't stick on the past for all my life. Bela married me, that means she is my responsibility.I have to give her all the love and happiness as her husband.
She is my wife!
It's sounding so good....my wife Bela Mahir Sehgal!
I closed my eyes to get some sleep,tomorrow we have a pooja to do for Bani.
BELA
I opened my eyes due to the sun rays falling on me.
But I saw Mahir looking at me without blinking.
I sat up with a jerk.
"When did you come here Mahir"?I asked.
"At 5 in the morning",he said still laying on the bed.
"Umm...get freshed,dad and all must be coming for the pooja",I said.
"Hmm ya OK",he said getting up.
He had big dark circles under his eyes,he is looking sleep deprived. I looked at Mahira's side,she was still sleeping.
I took bath and saw Mahir was also neat and clean. But our Mahira was still asleep.
"I will make break fast Mahir,wake up Mahira",I said.
"Is she still angry on me"?he asked.
"No..no she is good Mahir,not angry anymore",I said.
He nodded and I went to kitchen to prepare breakfast. I heard Mahira crying loudly. I rushed to the room to see her.
"What happened Mahira"?I went to her,she was crying loudly struggling in Mahir's arms.
"Baby look,it's me....dadda",Mahir said and Mahira opened her eyes.
"Dadda....mumma...",she said.
"We are here baby,we are here",Mahir cooed her.
She stopped crying and was snuggling into him.
"You go Bela,I will give her bath",Mahir said.
I went and completed cooking,Mahir and Mahira came looking all fresh.
Mahira was drinking milk and we heard door bell ringing.
Mahir went and opened it,welcoming our family along with Vish and Vyom.
"Daaduu..",Mahira beemed looking at my dad and Andy uncle.
"How is my Mahira doing",Andy uncle said taking her in his arms.
"Is everything ready for the pooja"?my dad asked.
"Yes uncle everything is ready",Mahir replied.
I was shocked when I saw all the things needed for the pooja lying in our little temple.
I thought I will go and get after eating,but Mahir already brought all this?
He is behaving differently, one day he says he don't want to attend and one day he is all ready for it.
"Oh babhi ji what are you thinking"?Yuvi said coming in front of me.
"Hmm..nothing Yuvi",I replied looking at Mahir.
"OK the priest must be on his way,Bela get Bani's picture from the room",Andy uncle said.
I was about to go,but Mahir walked past me to get it.
I was fidgeting with my fingers,Vish came and hugged me telling that everything will be alright.
Mahir cleaned the frame and placed it on the floor. Soon the pooja started,Mahir was performing with tears in his eyes.
My eyes were threatening to pour,my dad was already shedding tears.
Mahira was sitting on Vyom,she crawled towards Mahir pulling his kurta from back,Mahir looked at her and made her sit on his lap.
I started sobbing looking at that view,Mahira don't even know that she is her mother,but she was just being pulled towards her.
Mahir was blinking constantly to hide his tears, and Mahira had no idea what was happening,she was clapping her hands sitting on his lap.
I was sobbing looking at that site,Vish was consoling me,Vyom and Yuvi were consoling my dad and Andy uncle.
I'm missing Bani di a lot,it's killing me from inside. I'm feeling guilty now.
I'm feeling guilty that I left Bani di and went away. I couldn't spend time with her.
I will regret this forever in my life.I just hope Mahira should not know all this.
She may hate me,di and Mahir also,for hiding the truth from her.
I don't want to loose Mahira like that,I can't live without her.
"Bela control yourself,Mahir will feel bad, don't cry",Vish said rubbing my back.
Mahira felt asleep in Mahir's lap and Yuvi took her to her room.
We completed the pooja and Mahir dint speak a word after that.
"Mahir tomorrow we have to peirce Mahira's ears,you remember right"?Andy uncle asked.
"Yes dad...but it will pain for her,she is just one year old",Mahir said.
"Oh Mr.Sehgal..do you think only you have a daughter in this whole world"?Vyom asked making us all laugh.
"But it's a ritual Mahir, and don't worry she will be in your arms while having that",my dad said.
"It's OK Mr.Sehgal, your daughter will be fine",Vish said.
We all had lunch, and Mahira should also eat. She is still sleeping.
"Acha baby see this is mumma's bite",I said trying to feed Mahira.
She was not at all eating today,she was running all around the house.
"Mahira slow down",Mahir said while taking her in his arms.
She was struggling to get out of his hold.
"Arey Mahira..why are you troubling your parents today",Vish said looking at her.
Vish,Vyom and Yuvi were trying their best to make her eat along with us.
Finally they all caught her and I shoved last bite into her mouth. She gulped making faces.
"I know you mumma",she said clinging onto Yuvi.
I felt hurt when she told that. She said she hates me. My eyes started spilling.
Everyone looked at me with concern.
I don't know,I was feeling hurt very badly.
"Arey see Mahira,mumma is crying",Vish said and Mahira looked at me.
I wiped my tears and looked at her.
"Mumma..Maiia iz sollyyy",Mahira said climbing on me.
"I know you too",I said turning my face away.
She held my face and pecked my lips saying
"Mumma Maiiaa lobeesss youuu".
I smiled and kissed her back.
"And mumma always loves you",I said.
Everyone left, and I was working on my system. Mahir and Mahira were playing in balcony.
Today Mahira said that she hates me,she was just joking. But I felt a sting in my heart when she said that.
I couldn't take it,I can't take it.
It's been a year since I'm staying with her, now I can't imagine my life without her.
"Bela you are crying"?Mahir asked coming inside.
"No..no.. I'm not crying, just something got into my eye",I said rubbing my eyes.
"Mumma....don cyyy",Mahira said getting on me.
"No baby, I'm not crying",I said.
"Mumma Maiia mum mum",she said.
"OK play with dadda,I will get food for you",I said going to kitchen and Mahir was stealing glances at me.
Mahira ate and slept early as she was tired of playing too much today.
"Bela I need to talk to you",Mahir said sitting beside me.
"Yes Mahir, you don't need to ask",I said.
"Why did you cry in the afternoon when Mahira told she hates you? You know right she was just joking",he said.
"Mahir...I...was just scared to loose her,I couldn't take it when she said like that",I started crying.
"Bela don't cry,she just said for fun",Mahir said consoling me.
"She will hate me when she gets to know that I'm not her mother,she will hate me for marrying you",I said sniffing.
"Belaa",Mahir hugged me and I hugged him back.
"Mahira will never get to know about this, and today will be the last day she seeing Bani's picture. She dint knew what was going today",Mahir said.
"But di is her mother Mahir, some or the other day she will get to know that I'm her step mother...",he stopped me putting his finger on my lips.
"Don't talk like that Bela,you are not her step mother. You are her mother and no one can change that.I will never let Mahira know about Bani.I don't want Mahira to see Bani as her mother,I can't answer her about it if she ask's,I don't want to",he said.
I nodded sobbing in his chest.
"You will always be her mother and my wife",he said.
I looked at him with lots of love and sadness.
"Now no one can change this truth Bela,you are Mahira's mother.Bani is gone, you came like an angel in our life's Bela,I can't loose you now",he said.
I hugged him again and sobbed.
"Today I felt like we were putting Mahira in the dark when she was crawling towards Bani di's picture.I'm attached to Mahira Mahir...I can't stay without her anymore",I sobbed.
"You don't have to stay away from her Bela,she is your daughter",he said cupping my face.
"You are the best mother I've seen after my mother Bela",Mahir said rubbing my cheeks.
He joined our foreheads,pressing us against each other.
"You are a best daughter,best sister, best friend, best mother and a best wife Bela",he said kissing my forehead.
I opened my eyes and looked at him,his eyes were also teary.
He came close to me touching our noses,but he was not taking the next step.
I was waiting for him to kiss me, I'm used to it,I want him to kiss me.
But he is not kissing me,I could feel his breath on my face. Why is he not going forward?
He smashed his lips on me suddenly, and I kissed him back with same passion.
I was waiting for this,to feel his touch, feel his lips.
He was sucking on my lower lip and I was sucking on his upper lip. Our lips were moving synchronously and his hands were holding my face intact.
He pulled back after feeling breathless and was resting his forehead against mine.
I pulled him back to me smashing my lips on his,he was surprised at my bold move. His kiss turned hungry now,he was fighting for dominance and he is dominant.
I gasped when he pinched my waist,he shoved his tounge inside me tasting each and every corner.
I pulled out feeling breathless.I was panting for air.
"You just...you just awakened the beast inside me Bela",he said clutching me tightly and breathing heavily.
"Did I"?I asked breathing heavily.
"You have no idea about it Bela... don't tease me",he said.
"I'm.. I'm not teasing... I'm I'm sorry ",I said coming out of his grip.
Shit! What did I do? I initiated the kiss for the first time?
"Don't be sorry for claiming what is your's Bela.... I'm your's now",he said hugging me.
I closed my eyes feeling embarrassed and I drifted to sleep in his embrace.
_____________
Hey guys! How are u all?I'm good though,but my Mahir is getting on bitchy mode😂😂,he wants votes and most important,comments.
He is asking for it!
He is dying for it!
😂😂😂😂😂😂
He read many other books and told me that,
"some writers are writing beautiful stories, they give short updates,but votes and comments are too high...you give long updates and still 1/3 votes😂😂😂.Are you disappointing your readers..that they are not voting"?
Am I disappointing you guys anywhere? Tell me guys....we have to prove to our Mahir. He is kinda mocking me on my writing skills now🙄🙄. Let's prove him, what say?
Stay safe,
Vote, comment and share