She went to their bedroom after she had her time washing away a bit of her never ending sadness... surprised to see him soundly asleep on their bed... his face illuminated by a trifle of light coming from the lamp on their bedside table... but then a muffled sigh came from her throat for she remembered he's here because of his parents.
Afraid to wake him up and may drive him to do abusing and filthy things to her just like he used to whenever he spends the night at the mansion, she silently went to their bathroom to slip on her night gown... she stayed inside for a while... looking at her reflection against the mirror once again... forcing a smile to her tired lips but in the end failed to do so.
She went outside and good thing he's still asleep... for tonight she could escape his lustful torture... and again she silently and slowly went to his side... slid under the covers and reached for the lamp to turn it off carefully and wishing he won't wake up with her simple moves... she just want a break even just for tonight...
She sighed in relief as she finally settled herself on her side... she closed her eyes but then she couldn't sleep... things about her conversation with 'his' mom kept on rewinding inside her mind... she stared at the ceiling thinking of the words her mother-in-law told her a while ago.
[Flashback]
"Is he giving you a hard time dear...?"
Maybe she's too stupid for her not to let out what she really feels... maybe she really loves being abused for she can't let out the truth... just a word away... tell her what he really does to you... but she can't... too afraid that it would add more to his problems... add more to his pain... she swallowed the lump on her throat... swallowing the truth to let out another lie.
"No mom... he's not..."
She saw her smiled and it's enough to correct that lie... she doesn't know why... why can't she tell them so that maybe they could finally give her the freedom that she wanted... but no... for maybe the last strand of hope is still alive inside her...
His eyes that she saw earlier... the way he looked at her... she couldn't feel the hate she used to feel... but instead just blank... no... maybe unreadable... and perhaps it's better to see it that way than to feel the loath and disgust in his eyes.
"He's really a loving child... and so responsible... sometimes I feel bad whenever I see him in so much stress because of our business... he shouldn't be taking all of these responsibilities alone... if only his brother's here..."
She heard the sadness in her mother-in-law's voice... she reached for her hand and tried to comfort her... it's true... he has a lot of responsibilities... especially being the only heir of a big company... but then when she heard about his brother... curiosity began to sprung up to her... she never heard that he has a brother... never she did see him on their wedding... is he dead or something...? She thought.
"Uhm... mom... I never heard that he has a brother..."
She weakly said... she then saw a hint of surprise in 'his' mom's face... she covered her mouth with her free hand... and as if she said something she shouldn't have... Rosé can't help but to raise an eyebrow when she felt 'his' mom's hesitation to tell her the things she doesn't know...
Then after a while... her mother-in-law sighed... she put down her hand only to hold both of her hands... she looked at Rosé apologetically before she started speaking.
"We're very sorry if we kept everything to you... you're family also know about our other son but then we decided to just keep it to ourselves since after all it wouldn't cause any troubles or changes once you knew about him..."
Why...? What's wrong... is he really dead...? But why did they need to keep it if it won't cause anything...? She thought... but what 'his' mother told her next made her heart almost stop.
"The truth is... he should have been your husband now... if he didn't left home three years ago maybe he's the one who's with you right now... but then he left... because he couldn't take being told... his father and him always argue back then until one day he just disappeared... Jungkook had always been looking up to his brother... admiring his strong will... and when his brother left... Jungkook felt really depressed about it... and there he started to change... adding up were those responsibilities that supposed to be for his brother..."
She was left in awe... everything was not suppose to happen after all... thinking
that if she married his brother, would her life turn out like this...? Would he be like Jungkook...? But then.... Thinking that his brother doesn't like responsibilities... maybe there wouldn't be a change after all... just like her mother-in-law said.
She truly stole a part of Jungkook's life... another responsibility that he must abide to... another suffering that would slowly ruin his life.
"But I am really happy that our Jungkook got to meet someone like you... if by any chance he hurt or offended you... please just do understand him... maybe he's just tired of everything that has been happening... I know you are just forced in this marriage... but I really like you dear... and I hope that in no time you could adjust in your new life now... me and my husband and especially Jungkook are all just here when you need us... I'm sure that by having you with Jungkook would help him ease his stress..."
His mother then smiled at her... she reached for Rosé's face and caressed it... tucking her loose hair behind her ears... she felt so loved by his parents... as if she's really their child... and that love added to her last hope...
"We're sorry if he is sometimes cold to you or uncomfortable... please just bear with him for a while... I'm sure he's also in the midst of adjusting himself..."
All Rosé could do was to give a weak smile... nodding to every of her words and agreeing to stay by her child's side... attending to his needs as his wife... maybe it's her turn to carry those responsibilities even if it cause her own happiness... and her own freedom.
[End of flashback]
Still staring at the ceiling... she thought that those tears earlier were just to wash out the selfishness and sadness that she feels... even it's not enough to wash all the agony she feels in her marriage... at least it lessened the pain.
Thinking that if she's married to his brother, would she be crying outside earlier...? Would she be wishing that she should never exist...? And would she feel every torment that Jeon Jungkook has been giving to her life...? Maybe she still would...
She shifted her position... now facing his back... she watched how his side heaved up and down as he breathes... he shouldn't be the one on her side by now... he should be with the one he loves right now... and maybe he should be happy having his freedom by now...
"I'm sorry..."
Her weak voice reverberated to the silence of the night... not really waiting for a reply but just to let out what she really feels... how could she be selfish thinking that she's the only one hurting... maybe she's a fool to apologize to someone who made her life miserable... but thinking that he too had that life made her feel sorry for him.
She sighed once again... she somehow wanted to reach for him... tell him that she now understands him... but she can't... that she would be the last person he would want a pity from...
She shifted one again and now facing the open window... their backs facing each other... as she watched how the wind blew the curtains... revealing the stars that she once wished to be with and be one of... and finally a weak smile crept to her lips... thinking that she couldn't be one of them yet...
She still needs to be with him... just like as she promised his mom... she would stay by his side... no matter how painful it would be... for maybe her life is suppose to be locked with him together with the pain that comes with it.
--
'I'm Sorry...'
It kept on rewinding in his mind... last night he was all awake when she went inside their bedroom... maybe he did wait for her... for an hour she was outside, crying her eyes out and he can't do anything about it... he knew how she silently sneaked inside their room... heard every sighs she made... thinking that maybe he'll wake up and abuse her once again.
But he can't... he doesn't know why... as if it's something new to him... why he can't open his eyes and tell her that he's been waiting for her...? Why he can't abuse her fragile body just like he used to so that all of his frustrations would be finally released...? He doesn't know... everything is truly a mess now for him.
And those words... why did she suddenly said those words...? He felt himself almost turn to her and ask her... her sweet voice... that is now ringing inside his head... why did she suddenly said those words... wouldn't he be the one who should said those words...? But why did she say it...?
"Oppa... are you okay...?"
Tzuyu snaked her arm around his which made him snapped from his deep thoughts... throughout the morning he couldn't face Rosé... he just remained silent even on the entire ride...Rosé was surprised by his silence and even he too was surprise by himself... it's just that he's deep in his own thoughts.
"Yes I am... come on... let's eat... you shouldn't skip meals since you just recovered..."
He smiled down to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulder as they made their way towards the cafeteria... everyone knows about their relationship....
Everyone also knows about his marriage but it doesn't keep him from being affectionate towards his lover... for at least he could do what he wants even just in this campus...
"Oppa... I heard that you got into a fight yesterday... what happened...? Are you hurt...?"
She sounded so worried that made his heart melt once again... he really loves it whenever she cares for him... how could his dad told him those things about her...? But then when he remembered the incident yesterday... the reason why he got into a fight, something different pinched his inside once again...
"Uhmm... that was nothing... just a little misunderstanding and I was not hurt so don't worry..."
He pinched her cheek which earned him a giggle from her... they got their food and went outside to meet with their other friends... upon reaching their table... he then caught something or someone familiar sitting under a tree...
"Uhmmm... where's Taehyung oppa...?"
Tzuyu asked the group as they reached their bench... They sat but still Jungkook's eyes kept glued on the girl having her lunch alone under the tree... until someone familiar once again slowly approached her...
"I don't know... he said we could just go eat first... maybe he has something to do..."
One of their friends said... and by that Jungkook knew what that 'something' Taehyung has to do... the two were far from their bench but still he managed to see what they were doing... he doesn't know why he can't just look away...
Until he realized that he's been watching them for a while... he saw how his friend stood in front of his wife... how she looked up with a confused face but then slowly smiled when she knew who it was... he saw how his friend said something to her which made her nod and her smile grew big... and realized that maybe his friend was asking if he could join her...
He saw how his friend watch her as she eats... something in his eyes that he can't read for it's a little far... but definitely it was different from all of his other gazes... he saw how she started to talk... maybe offering her food to him... and saw his friend took a piece and again another smile came from her...
That made him into thinking... did she ever smiled to him like that...? The same pinch inside his chest began to bother him once again... he lowered his face staring down to his untouched food... something's wrong with him... that he can't make himself have his appetite back...
He turned towards them once again... totally ignored everyone even his food... even the pain inside his chest grew... he just couldn't take his eyes off of them... watch them as they smile at each other... and would steal glances at each other...
'Am I jealous...?'
He thought... for the fact that seeing his wife having some moment with another man... he shook away the thoughts... and pushing inside his head that he's not liking what he's seeing because she's happy... and she doesn't deserve that sweet smile on her face... but then... thinking that way just made his heart ache more...
'Please... take this pain away...'
He thought once again... and as if his wish was heard... something warm touched his hand... holding it tight and brought him back to the world... he glanced down and saw Tzuyu's hand holding his as she ate and talked with their other friends... totally oblivious of him having a lost moment.
He was thankful for the distraction... the pain inside him finally subsided as he gazed his lover's face... a smile crept on his lips.
Surely his heart only beats for her... but then after a while the smile slowly vanished... but how come it almost killed him when he saw Rosé... and how come it feels like he ran millions of miles just because his heart thump endlessly when he saw her smile... the smile that wasn't meant for him.
'Is this my punishment for all the pain I caused you..?'
He thought as he stole one last glance towards the two who were now both staring afar... talking while leaning against the big trunk of their found sanctuary.
--
"Taehyung-sshi... Doesn't your friends looking for you...?"
Rosé finished her food and now having a rest for they still have some time before the class starts... she didn't saw Jennie since she doesn't know her room during the morning class... at first she thought she would be spending her lunch alone again... but good thing Taehyung came to her and joined her once again.
"They could manage without me..."
He said... now she doesn't find him that weird anymore... for maybe that's really the way he is used to act... during class, he would just stay quiet then just leave when the class dismissed... then suddenly popping out of nowhere and then ask to join her.
"Ah...."
She just nodded... and silence consumed them once again... she would steal glances to him... but still he would stay looking afar... she pouted for she really wants to know him more but maybe he doesn't feel same way back to her.
"Is it really your habit to steal glances on someone...?"
Her eyes widen after she just did steal a glance on him... her face heated and blushed... he then turned to her waiting for an answer... raising a brow which made her blush more.
"Ha-ha... no... and I am not glancing at you..."
She quickly looked away but she could still feel that he's still staring at her "Yes you were..."
"Ha-ha... no I am not Taehyung-sshi..."
"Yes you were..."
"I said I am not..."
Then silence... she slowly glanced back to him only to find him still staring at her. "See... you really do steal glances at me..."
And with that she completely turned to him and pouted... he just shrugged and then leaned on the tree once again... resting his arms behind his head as he closed his eyes... just like the other day.... She remembered how handsome he is when he sleeps.
"So you also like watching me sleeping...?"
He said while his eyes closed... and again she blushed but then can't help not to smile at him... she leaned back to the tree and just preferred to watch the people... afraid that she would skip the class and be left by him again if she decided to sleep.
How she wished that this little happiness... and temporarily freedom would last long...
"I wish I could be the only man in your eyes..." "Huh...?"
She glanced to him only to see him sleeping... she wondered if she really heard him or did someone really spoke those words... she looked around the tree but didn't find someone... she shivered when she thought of another reason but shook away the thoughts... it's too early for ghosts to wander around...
Odd... for she always hears someone whenever she's under this tree... and giggled to her own silliness when she thought that maybe the tree was the one who spoke those words.... Never did she know that the man beside her stole a smile as he watched her scantly figuring out her confusion.
--
She was in all smile when she reached their car... her day was really great... with Taehyung's weird but funny moves up to Jennie's warm company... she couldn't ask for more of this day...
"Lady... you seem so happy... did something happen...?"
Mr. Lee bowed to her as she reached their car... "Oh Mr. Lee... I really had a great day..."
She smiled once again... he opened the door for her... and once she saw 'him' sitting on the other side... her big smile slowly vanished... she knows he doesn't want to see her in happiness... it disgusts him... so to help him not to start his bad mood... she decided to hide her happiness.
She slowly sat down and quickly looked outside the window... and just like earlier this morning... the ride was in full silence... she wondered why is he acting like this... but better to be this way than to hear his hurtful words...
They arrived at the mansion in no time...the maids welcomed them and a hint of happiness could be felt in them for maybe because they arrived peacefully not like the last two days...
"Lady... your brother-in-law is inside..."
One of the maids said to her... and upon hearing it... her lips curved into a wide smile... she quickly went inside leaving Jungkook at the car.... He raised a brow wondering who that brother-in-law is...
"Who is it..?"
He asked one of the maids once he got out of the car. "Young master... it's Mr. Kim Mingyu"
He nodded and made his way inside... he knows Mingyu is her late sister's husband... the heir of the Kim's group of companies... but what is he doing here...? Paying a visit on his wife..?
And once he reached the living room... he saw how his wife hugged Mingyu and he hugged her back... and something inside him began to bother him that it wasn't a simple hug...
He just watched them as they released each other... and the way Mingyu looked at his wife... and the way he smiles to her... there's something different in it once again... he just felt himself clenching his fist... his wife with another man once again... and this time inside their very house...