Later that evening, Soana enjoyed a platter of rice with the group when she noticed Aang distancing himself. She sighed, grabbing her platter and standing to go to the airbender to keep him company.
"Hey," She spoke softly and took a seat next to him.
"Hey." He frowned.
Soana saw the emotion he held and felt sympathetic.
"I know how you feel, Aang. I really do."
He raised at brow.
"Were you forced to kill a person?"
"Well, no," She shook her head. "I'm just saying I understand you. You don't want to kill the Fire Lord, but the people you love and care for want you to. I know you have to do what's best for the world, and I'll admit, it does suck with the pressure and all."
Aang sighed.
"I'm not a murderer. I was always told by the monks that all life was sacred, even of the smallest spider fly."
Soana nodded.
"And I agree with you."
"I just don't want to kill the Fire Lord." He mumbled.
"When I was about your age, I was a master healer. I was the first of my class to master the subbending of water, except for the other which was bloodbending."
Aang looked at Soana in fear.
"I've had an encounter with a bloodbender. She could only do it during a full moon."
Soana huffed a breath.
"I was made to learn by my healing teacher who could bloodbend without the help of a full moon. It was dangerous, but by the age of fifteen, I had mastered it. I only used bloodbending at most twice when it was for defense, but I've only done it once out of spite. The first time was when my old boyfriend got into a fight with a seal lion.
The second time I bloodbended was when I made enemies with a girl who I went to healing classes with. She wanted to steal my boyfriend at the time, so I got revenge. The most I can say is, I've had a dark past with bloodbending, and I've hated doing it ever since. The third time was on the assassin Zuko had sent. I tried to bloodbend him to save Katara, but I ended up getting caught in his sights."
Aang gave Soana a lighthearted smile for mentioning the fact that she saved Katara.
The princess sighed.
"Look, what I'm trying to say is even though you don't like to kill living things, sometimes they do some good if you would just do it."
"Yeah, but hating to bloodbend and hating to murder is two completely different things, Soana. My problem is I'm taking someone's life permanently, and I'm to blame for it."
She sighed.
"I'm sorry. I'm just trying to help you, Aang."
"No one can help me." He bowed his head.
Soana didn't speak anymore. Instead, she placed a hand on Aang's shoulder and pushed herself from the step she sat on then walked back to the group with her rice platter.
"I have a surprise for everyone!" Katara said, excited, with a long scroll in her hands.
"I knew it! You did have a secret thing with Haru!" Toph smiles.
The waterbender frowned.
"Uh, no. I was looking for cooking pots in the attic when I found this." She unrolled the scroll to reveal a portrait of a Fire Nation baby, smiling adorably.
"Look at baby Zuko! Isn't he cute? Look, Soana! How could you ever be mad at that face?" Katara gushed.
Soana rolled her eyes, taking a seat in front of Zuko. All except the prince laughed then they diminished when he spoke, clearly perturbed.
Soana turned and saw his face.
"Oh, lighten up. She's just teasing."
He looked at Soana and said loud enough for everyone to hear.
"That's not me. It's my father."
Everyone frowned.
Suki spoke.
"But he looks so sweet and innocent."
Zuko narrowed his eyes.
"Well, that sweet little kid grew up to be a monster. And the worst father in the history of fathers."
Aang spoke to add in his opinion.
"But he's still a human being."
Everyone turned including Zuko.
"You're going to defend him?"
"No, I agree with you. Fire Lord Ozai is a horrible person, and the world would probably be better off without him, but there's gotta be another way."
"Like what?" Zuko sneered.
"I don't know. Maybe we can make some big pots of glue and then I could use gluebending to stick his arms and legs together so he can't bend anymore."
Zuko breathed, making a fake smile appear.
"Yeah, then you can show him his baby pictures and all those happy memories will make him good again."
Aang's face perked up as everyone giggled except for Soana.
"Do you really think that would work?" Aang asked, hopeful.
"No!" Zuko shouted abruptly.
Aang released a heavy sigh and began to pace around the training area in worry.
"This goes against everything I learned from the monks. I can't just go around wiping out people I don't like."
Gato chuckled.
"Of course you can. You're the Avatar. If it's in the name of keeping balance, I'm pretty sure the universe will forgive you."
Aang's body began to shake violently until he turned with a scrunched face.
"This isn't a joke, Gato! None of you understand the position I'm in!"
Katara widened her eyes.
"Aang, we do understand. It's just,"
"Just what, Katara? What!"
"We're trying time help!"
"When you figure out a way for me to beat the Fire Lord without taking his life, I'd love to hear it!"
The airbender, stressed, exited the training area as Katara was determined to calm him, however, Soana knew that if she kept talking to him then things would only get worse.
She placed her platter aside and stood up to place her hand on Katara's shoulder.
"Let him go." Katara looked back to Soana.
"He needs to sort it out by himself."
She released her hand on Katara's shoulder and looked back to the group who stared back at her.
"I think it's best if all of us went to bed. We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow, and we need as much rest as possible if we're helping Aang fight the Fire Lord is just three days."
•
After the princess had announced for everyone to get rest, the group did as they were told, however, the princess' body and mind didn't want to rest. Instead, her thoughts were elsewhere. Not only was her mind racing with the thoughts of the battle that was to come between Aang and the Fire Lord, but she grew restless over the possibility of anything happening to her or Zuko. Although their relationship was rocky, she still loved him wholeheartedly as a person.
The moon was at its highest peak in the sky that night, meaning that it also shone brightly, making it easier for Soana to see even in the most dark and gloomy places in the house.
After what felt like an eternity of staring at the dusty curtains that were strung over the bed, she flipped the red blanket from her body and went to a small trunk that sat next to the bed. After opening it, she noticed a red robe so she grabbed it and figured it would suffice for a short walk outside. She secured the string around her waist and opened the door to peer out her room. Looking left to right, she walked out to the dark hallway and followed the light that led her to the open area near the front of the house. She made sure she was careful and quiet when she opened then closed the door as she made her way through the brisk night air.
The princess quietly made her way to a ledge where she stood carefully and look out towards the water that gentle rocked. She swore that moment had been the only time she had seen water so calm as they smothered the black sandy shores of Ember Island.
Pleased with the sight, Soana sighed happily until she heard a stick crack behind her. In a moment of panic, Soana whirled herself around as she bended icicles on her fingers and sent them in the direction of the cracked stick.
As she flung them towards a patch f dark woods, a flame shot out which melted the icicles to water instantly. Behind the shot of fire, she saw a face that was half scarred with long jet black hair.
She sighed irritably and announced to the apparent firebender:
"Zuko, why're you awake? And following me?"
Coming out of the patch of forest, the Fire Nation prince stumbled over branches and dried leaves until he reached Soana near the ledge.
"I'm awake because like you, I can't sleep." He quickly kicked a twig that had snagged onto his pant leg. "I'm following you because you're wearing my mother's robe. I thought you were her."
The princess rolled her eyes and faced the ocean again.
"Sorry, I was only borrowing it for the walk."
"Don't be sorry. It's not like she's coming back to take it off you."
She stared at the waves again as Zuko successfully kicked off the twig and went to her side with his hands in his pockets.
"Are you nervous?" He asked her.
"Who isn't?" She asked, earnestly. "Nearly everyone is on edge about the day Sozin's Comet arrives."
"Yeah," He frowned. "I'm restless with the thought of my father dominating the world, but that's not the only thing that's sending me on edge."
He glanced at Soana. "The thought of losing you is driving me insane. What if you get wounded or worse? Katara's spirit water won't be able to fix that."
She looked at him and sneered. "Do you think I'm not worried about you or anyone else? I'm scared to death, Zuko. I really am. I'm scared of losing our Avatar, and our friends."
Zuko bowed his head.
"And I'm afraid of losing you." She admitted.
He looked at her, softly smiling.
She gulped. "I know I haven't been the world's best wife, but I care for you, truly. And I don't want to see you or anyone else get hurt."
Zuko took a satisfying breath and thought out loud. "Can I propose something for us?"
She nodded weakly.
"I want us to set aside our differences. I know I've messed up in these past few months, and I feel very ashamed about it. Not only to you, but my uncle as well. Right now, I want to put everything behind us and just try to push through our problems together as a couple. I understand you need space sometimes, but too much space between us eventually leads to the worse outcomes of any marriage. What I'm trying to propose is I want you to be with me if we fight, and if something does happen to one of us then I want to die knowing that we weren't angry with each other."
"Zuko," Her face fell. "I was never angry with you. I was just disappointed."
"I understand, Soana." He nodded.
She paused and let her heart rate flutter slightly.
"I accept what you're proposing, Zuko, but just know I was never furious with you. I was upset, yes, however, I do still care for you. And no matter what you do or what you say, I will always be happy for you. Even if our fate awaits for one of us in just a few days."
Zuko continued to stare at her until she turned and practically tackled him in a rough embrace. She nearly knocked the breath from his lungs, but he didn't mind since this was the first time in weeks since he's held the princess.
Soana grinned as she felt tears of joy welding against her waterline. She tucked her face in the crook of Zuko's neck as he began to pet her waist with his palms and close his eyes, grateful for the feeling of his love's embrace.