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After another day of class and fighting arguments with Ezra, I finally had time to do what I wanted which meant spending time with Jade in her bedroom. Normally we always used to hang out in my room, but there was something about this tiny space that made me feel more free than I had ever been. Another benefit was that my father had no clue where to find me. Actually no one did.
Jade decided to learn me how to paint in her free time, but we figured out soon enough that painting wasn't my talent. I was horrible to be honest but I loved spending time with my best friend, we could gossip about everything that was going on, including our own feelings. Well ... most of them.
After Jade explained her past to me we became closer and I could understand her reaction to certain things better. We agreed that Ezra was a jerk, but we couldn't blame his descent for that. Jade was the living prove.
'I think Levi finally notices me', Jade says dreamy when she draws another sketch for a painting. 'I believe that', I reply, thinking back of last night.
'He asked me to join him and other soldiers to the village, we need new stock. First I thought he asked me for help but he told me that he loved my company', she explains, her cheeks turning a little red as usual.
'I am really happy for you', is all I can say when I lay down my brush to get a look of my canvas. My painting was a bigger mess than my feelings.
'Is something wrong, Rosa?' Jade turns to look at me like she has been doing all morning. But I ignore it. Nothing is wrong I only have to find myself again.
'Is this is about Levi...' She asks unsure. I turn immediately to her, my eyes widening a little. 'No, no definitely not. I am happy for you, really', I assure her. And I am honestly happy for her. 'Good', she mumbles unconvinced.
'I'm only confused. My sister and I aren't really talking and everyone expects from me to do something great and that isn't up to me', I sigh, laying down on her bed. She joins me after a few seconds, our shoulders touching each other.
'Maybe you should talk to Valentina, explain how you feel'.
'You think she will listen?' I ask with my thoughts far away.
'You are sisters, she should listen to you. Even if she doesn't, you at least tried', she remarks. It makes sense, but it can't fix all my problems. I can't explain the feelings I have, they don't have anything to do with her. I need to find a way to be myself again and try to hide in the shadows. There is my place.
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The next day I make the hideous decision to look for my sister and try to talk to her. After all, Jade is right. Valentina is my sister and all I can do is try to support her. But she isn't the easiest person to talk to, not at all if it is about the Selection.
I softly knock on the door of her bedroom, waiting until someone would open. But no one does. I knock again, louder this time and hear footsteps immediately behind the door, showing Olivia's irritated face once she opens it.
'You', she says surprised before I walk past her, ignoring the face she gives me. On her balcony, my sister sits in a comfortable chair, reading intensively through some books.
'She is busy', Olivia calls from behind me, but I ignore her again and open the double doors towards the balcony, Valentina looking up in surprise.
'Can we talk?' I ask quickly before she can say anything. Val closes her book and nods that I can sit down on the chair next to hers. I've never been on this balcony before, but she does have a great view. On the field beneath us, the soldiers are practising their fighting skills again, others are doing exercises. I stare at them for a while, not knowing what I'm doing here. Instead I take a look at the books on the table, all history books. A vague smile appears on my face and Val notices it too, changing her position uncomfortably.
'I thought you didn't need these', I say, taking one of them. 'I figured that it wouldn't hurt to study a little', she admits soft, her eyes staring in the distance.
'Are you feeling good, Val?' Her gaze looks blurry, as if she hasn't slept in days.
'Yes. I didn't expect a Selection would be this exhausting, that is all'. I keep looking at her for another second until the soldiers in the distance start yelling in excitement. I'm not sure what for, but they seem happy.
'Silly', Val mumbles, shaking her head a little. 'How are the candidates?' I ask after a while. She turns her head to me in an instant, looking at me suspicious. 'I thought you would like to talk about this', I add when she doesn't change her look.
'Are you really interested?' She asks, closing her eyes a little. 'For as far as I know you don't have to ask me, I'm sure that the famous princess of Ethura knows everything she has to know'. I don't miss the irritation in her voice, she makes her point clear.
'Val, I don't know how many times I have to tell you this but I don't want your throne. I don't want these interviews, I only want my privacy back. We are sisters this isn't how things should go', my voice is harder than I wanted it too but luckily I see the look in her eyes soften for the first time in a while.
'Please Val', I ask again. She turns her head to the double doors behind us nodding to Olivia, who I had no idea still stood there, that she could go. With a lot of effort she did, closing the doors behind her, leaving us alone on the balcony.
'You want to know which of them I like the most?' Val says a little happier. I nod a little, not sure if I really want to. She takes a look at the field of the soldiers, thinking of her answer when I realise Cameron is on that field. I sink down in my seat a little, hoping the pain would go quickly.
'I'm not sure yet. I mean, I've only known them for a few weeks', she reminds me with a vague smile on her face. 'But they make you happy?' I ask curious.
'They are all different, they all have positive and negative sides. Take Theodore for example, he is artistic and lovely but I'm not sure he'll ever be a good King. He is too soft-hearted in my eyes'.
'I didn't have a chance to meet him properly', I say instinctively. 'Really?', she asks confused. 'What about Cameron and Ezra? Please tell me you at least try to be welcoming, Rosa'.
'I met Ezra, we had a few discussions in our class of history', I say which makes her smile a little. 'And Cameron doesn't talk that much', I add.
'Well, Ezra and I are definitely on the same wavelength. We both want to be leaders and we aren't afraid. But Cameron, he is special', she sighs almost noiseless. I stare in front of me at the books on the table, not wanting to hear about this any longer. I am selfish, my feelings shouldn't even be a part of this conversation.
'He is?' I ask with effort. She nods immediately, only making my expectations clear. 'When he described himself as a hopeless-romantical, well... he didn't lie', she notices with an honest smile appearing on her face.
'I'm happy for you. I'm serious', I say, not wanting the details of whatever that meant. 'Thank you', she whispers. After that we stare at duels between the soldiers, Levi almost winning every time. He was born to be first knight and now he could finally live his dream.
'I thought it was smart to invite the Royalty to my gala ball', Valentina interrupts the silence. 'But please, next time, give me also a moment to come up with an idea'.
'You could've said anything you wanted, they would listen to you', I remark but she shakes her head immediately. 'That is not true, you have no idea how hard it is to convince our father's advisers. You seem to have it easy', she explains. I look over to her, seeing pain in her eyes when she tells me this.
'I don't have it easy', I disagree. 'I didn't mean that, I only think that you are born for this and I still have so much to learn'. I open my mouth in confusion when she tells me this, not understanding where this honesty comes from.
'I talked to father, he is right, you have our mother's leader skills. The citizens see that too.It's like I have to work even harder to get that throne', she sighs.
'You don't have to fight for the throne. It's yours, honestly', I guarantee her.
'I still have to prove myself. Who would've thought it was against you', she says, laughing a little. I laugh with her, not sure how I feel about this situation.
'Promise me one thing, Rosa', she lays her hand on my arm.
'Of course'.
'Don't do something stupid. I know you love to fight, that you want to be a warrior, but in a few months this is over. Nothing will change', she assures me. I don't answer, feeling that everything will change once the Selection is over and Ethura gets a new Royalty member.
'I made sure there aren't any cameras in the Rose Garden', she says when I keep quiet. I look at her immediately, not quite sure if she tells me what I want to hear.
'If you are careful, you can hunt sometimes', she explains. 'Thank you', I lean over to hug her which wasn't what she expected at all. I could feel it by the way she softly laid her arms around my waist.
We talk more about the dates she had with the candidates after that, luckily sparing me from the details of Cameron. Only an hour later, I stand up and walk into her room again, Olivia nowhere to be seen.
'Father invited the Royalty of Parisha and Tugoa, and the Royalty of Syrilia of course', Val explains when I walk over to her door.
'That is great', I answer, feeling happy that one part of my plan was going the way I wanted it. I don't trust their Queen, she has to prove her innocence. If our Dragon would go mad that night it would be clear that she is the woman in my vision. Before I open the door, I remember something else, something Val and I hadn't talked about. I turn around again, carefully searching for my words, not wanting to hurt her.
'Val?' She turns to me, her face still softer than I'm used to.
'Why did you wear that Coronation dress?' I ask softly. She looks down at her hands, still not angry as I expected.
'I guess I wanted to prove people I could be like our mother. Don't be afraid, I understand why you were angry about it', she whispers. I nod and with one last look I open her door to walk into the corridor, back to my own room.