Hamesha Wala Pyaar – Chapter 20
“Shehnaaz ab tu zidd kar rahi hai” he snapped.
“Maine tujhe ek baar bola na, ki main nahi jaunga. Toh bass fir, mujhe aur convince mat kar” he said pushing her hand away which she had placed on his arm.
Why couldn’t she understand something for once? Why did she always defy him?
He furiously stomped down to the porch and lit a cigarette.
Shehnaaz held her head in her hands with exasperation. But she was determined to shake him out of this sorry state once and for all. Sidharth had shut him out for a long time, raising huge heckles around him to keep intruders away, but she had broken those heckles one by one and discovered what a gem of a person he was.
And now she wanted the whole world to see him for the person he was.
But there was definitely a lot of work that was going to go down before she can achieve what she had set her heart on.
She let out a sigh and went to him.
Soon as she came and stood near him, he crushed his half cigarette and started to leave from there, but held on to his arm stopping him.
“Sidharth sun toh meri baat”she pleaded.
His nostrils flared and he looked at her angrily.
“Sidhaaaarrrth…. kitna gussa karega abhi? her voice was laced with agony she felt for his condition.
She knew he was fighting a battle within, and she wanted him to win this one.
For himself.
But Sidharth still chose to cling on to his fears. He couldn’t understand why she was nagging him for the same thing over and over again.
His anger took over any rationale and he shouted at her “tujhe ek baar bolke kuch samajh kyu nahi aata? Bohot Mother Teresa banne ka shaunk hai na tujhe? toh bann.. but mujhe isse bahar rakh samjhi?” his hold on her arms was so hard it made her wince with pain, as his grip tightened around her flesh.
Shehnaaz had seen him this angry for the first time. His eyes were blazing and red with anger. His face was shaking as he spoke to her.
“harr baat pe zid mat kar, bacchi dikhti hai, but hai nahi tu. Stay out of this” he shouted again finally letting go of her arms with a push.
Her heart thrashed against her chest seeing him like this. Her eyes brimmed with tears.
Even Rashmi heard the commotion and came out of the kitchen to see what it was all about. Looking at her Sidharth stomped to his room and shut the door to his room with a loud thud.
Just like he had shut the whole world thinking he was protecting himself. But from what? It was all beyond her.
Shehnaaz tried to calm herself down. She was scared, more because she didn’t want this to disrupt their new found love.
Shehnaaz went up to her room and changed into her nightwear all the while thinking what she could do to ease his hurt.
Suddenly her eyes fell on the side table. There were a couple of pics, one with her dada dadi, one with her mom n dad. All happy faces.
She missed her family a lot.
But beside her family pics was a small glass box which had her dadi’s mala made of glass beads. She had taken it from her as a memory of her Dadi when she had come to Mumbai.
She remembered her Dadi’s words about attaining strength when ur down and defeated and decided to give it one last try.
Smiling to herself, she came out of her room and tried knocking at his door. No response. She tried the door knob, it was open. “Thank you babaji”, she muttered and entered the room.
He was lying flat on the bed, his head covered in pillows. She sat by his side, softly stroking his back.
“Uffffff itna gussa bhi aata hai tujhe? Dara hi diya tune aaj by god” she chuckled trying to lighten his mood.
She decided she will have to carefully broach the topic, but first she has to get him to calm down. He just laid motionless.
“Hayye yeh so toh nahi gaya?” she tried to move the wall of pillows off his face but he held on tighter.
She moved her hands to his bare arms. Just contacting with his bare skin, made a shiver run down her spine.
She blushed to herself, thinking of what a hopeless mess she had transformed into.
She scratched her head as if willing her brain to spring an idea to get him to talk to her. Her eyes twinkled again. “Sidharth uth na plssss” she tried once again before putting her idea to work, but there was no response.
“Chalo meri toh baat nahi maan raha, shayad mere babies ki maan jaaye” she said making it audible to him and turned her head to the door to shout “mamaaaaa, maaaaamm” she tried calling out for her little ones but was stopped by his wide palm covering her mouth and muffling her voice.
He pulled her back on him with a jerk as they both started laughing. “babyyyyyy don’t try that, tere baccho ko living room tak ki permission mil gayi hai, but not int my room pls” he said in a soft voice.
His arms were now covering her completely as theirs bodies spooned.
The energy between them was palpable. Realization hit her, they were on the same bed, so close that there wasn’t space for breath even.
Their bodies were touching each other from head to toe. She could feel his warm breath hitting her skin at her nape and his arms curl around her waist pulling her more closer.
Her body was never touched this way and it gave away obviously by breaking into goosebumps. Her core started tightening as she pushed herself apart from him in a flash. Licking her lips nervously she now sat on the bed with her back to him.
“Kya hua?” he asked disheartened with the sudden break of contact.
“Kuch nahi chal khana khane. Wohi kehne aayi thi” she got out of the room as quickly as she could and instead of stepping down she turned to her room and shut herself in.
Her skin had broken into beads of sweat with this mini encounter. “fuckkkkk Shehnaaz, kya tha yeh? Ek ghante mein do baar taare dikha diye isne tujhe, pehle gussa karke aur fir pyaar karke” Though she was familiar to his casual touches, but what just happened now was not casual.
It was intimate. It was new.
She smiled shyly to herself leaning her head against the door when she heard his voice calling out for her.
She had forgotten she called him for dinner. “haa aa rahi hu” she shouted back, literally running to the dining room.
After dinner he sat on the porch lost in thought.
He looked at peace now, all the anger from the evening forgotten.
Her body was still singing from their moment earlier, but she shut all those thoughts and braced herself and stood by him, as he covered her shoulder with his arm, pulling her slightly close.
She entwined their fingers and took a deep breath preparing herself for what was to follow. “Sidharth tu likhta kaise hai?” she asked puzzling him as he looked at her with knitted brows.
“matlab? He asked back.
“matlab jaise hi tu likhne baith ta hai tujhe ideas aane lagte hai aur tu farr farr karke likhne lagta hai?”she said animatedly making him chuckle.
“Machine nahi hu baby, kabhi ideas aate hai, bohot saare, tab likhta hu, kabhi bohot sochne pe bhi kuch nahi likh pata hu” he scrunched his face and continued
“But its ok, hota hai kabhi kabhi, there is always a new day, a new start. Aaj kuch nahi likh paya toh kya hua? Kal wapis naye ideas aayenge. Aur aate bhi hai” he smiled at her content with his explanation.
“Apni life bhi aise hi hoti hai na? kisi din hame lagta hai hum haar gaye, kuch nahi bacha abhi, but next day firse uthke sab kuch samet kar kaam pe lag jate hai hum, nayi ummeed ke sath. Hai na?”
he rolled his eyes knowing where this was going and started to leave, but she stopped him again.
Her face looked resolute.
“Bhaagna nahi hai, yahi ruk aur meri baat sun. Tujhe meri kasam hai. Gussa bhi nahi karna hai” she spoke with an edge to her voice as if warning him and went inside asking him to wait.
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Sidnaazkidiwani