Minho bit his finger nails as he looked at the floor. He hadn't talked to Jisung in a week or two and he was worried.
Chan sighed and pulled his hand away from his mouth. Minho looked at him. "You look like shit." Chan said. Minho snickered. "Thanks hyung. Really know how to boost me up." Minho said sarcastically. Chan chuckled and sat down on minho's bed. "What's bugging you?" Chan said. "Nothing." Minho said as he went to bite his nail again. Chan stopped him. "Somethings on your mind." Chan said. "I-I.... Last week me and Jisung had sex." Minho said. Chan chuckled. "Ok. Ok I don't see any problem in that." Chan said. "There wasn't. It was after. We took a bath-" "together?" Chan asked. Minho nodded. "And then laid down. I was playing with his hair and he seemed to be thinking so I asked him what he was thinking about. And he blurted out I love you." Minho said as he sighed.
"I don't see any problem minho." Chan said. "Chan he said I love you. To me. The monster of the town." Minho said. "minho. I'm not seeing any problem. He said I love you. That's good news. Unless you being the dumbass you are said something. You didn't say anything right?" Chan asked. Minho looked at him with eyes. Chan groaned. "You're stupid." Chan whispered. "I told him we cant love each other and that...I didn't have anything feelings for him....he just.... smiled.....and told me to make sure I got everything."minho said. Chan smacked him behind the head.
"You're stupid!" Chan yelled as he got up. "Chan hyung I was looking out for us you know what they would do if they found out-" Minho looked in Chan's eyes.
"You shouldn't care Minho! You were happy! You actually were in love! You loved him and he loved you! How stupid can you be to let some small thing get in your way?! I know for a fucking fact that if anyone tried to mess with him you'd slit your throat! This is what Jisung-" Chan stopped and looked down. "What? This what Jisung was what?" Minho asked.
"We talked for a bit. He was afraid that.... we'd be like everyone else...that we'd leave him. Hurt him. He was so afraid you would do what his ex did and you did." Chan said as he shook his head. "Minho I liked Jisung. He was nice, bright, made you happy made us happy. Didn't judge us. How could you let something like that stop you from feeling happy?" Chan said. "You know don't answer that. I'm going to check on Felix. Just...get some rest." Chan said as he walked out of the room.
Minho remember the talks about Jisungs ex. Him not really loving him, him using him, fucking him and then leaving. Leaving.
Minho ran to the door as he grabbed the keys. Chan watched him run out. He sighed. "Better make this right idiot." Chan mumbled.
Minho run up the stairs to Jisungs apartment. He knocked on the door.
He held his breath as the door opened.
Jisung looked at him and then tried to close it.
"Jisung wait." Minho said putting his hand on the door. Jisung tried to close it but minho wouldn't let it happen.
"Minho please." Jisung said softly, his voice groggy. "Jisung please. Just let me talk." Minho said. "n-not now." Jisung said. "Jisung please." Minho begged again. Jisung sneezed. Minho's eyebrows knitted. "Are you... sick?" Minho asked. Jisung gave up and let him in as he coughed in his arm.
"You're sick." Minho said in a soft voice as he tried to feel his forehead. Jisung flinched back. "I just want to feel your forehead." Minho said as he frowned. Jisung shook his head. "I'm fine just a bit sick. I got everything." Jisung said as he went and unpacked the bags he got from the store. He unpacked everything as Minho watched him.
"Are you just here to watch or are you going to-" Jisung sneezed again. "To say something." Jisung said as he got a tissue and wiped his nose.
"I uh-um" minho tried to get words out. "if it's about that night then just leave. I don't want to talk about it." Jisung said. "Jisung we need to talk about it." Minho said. "No we don't Minho. There's nothing to talk about." Jisung said as he took so medicine for his cold.
"Jisung we do need to talk please." Minho said.
"I said I love you and you said you didn't have feelings for me. There's nothing to talk about. I stopped bothering you. There we're done talking." Jisung said as he put juice in the fridge.
"I know I'm acting like him. Your ex." Minho said. Jisungs back muscles tensed.
"I know that you're feeling how you feel with him with me." Minho said. Jisung threw the bag down.
"Look you don't know what I feel! You don't know what I'm thinking! Just...just stop. I'm done." Jisung said. Minho looked at him.
"You think that I'm acting like him and I am. I'm doing what he was doing and You're scared." Minho said. Jisung turned around and stomped to him. He pushed him as he cried. "Just stop! You are acting like him! You're acting just like him! And I'm scared that you're going to do what he did! I'm scared minho! I'm fucking terrified of you and him! Both of you are horrible! Making me fall in love and make this imaginary future! Making want to fucking marry you both! Making me fall into your hands whenever you like because I'm that easy! M-Making me show you all of me just for you to leave! Letting you touch me and hold me to where I never want to b-break apart. Making me feel like everything around us is fine and it's just us two. Telling me lies. Making me think you are this amazing guy that's going to erase what he did to me. This is how it started. He made me feel amazing until I gave him my virginty. He lefted after I said...I love you... He did someone else and came back the next day and I tried to leave. He hit me for the first time. And I don't want to get abused or hurt again. So please Lee know, leave." Jisung said as he wiped his tears
"J-Jisung-" minho said softly. Jisung shook his head. "you make me feel so happy. Make me feel on top of the world. If feeling that means I let you hurt me then I don't want to feel like that." Jisung said.
"Jisung. I never wanted to hurt you. I didn't mean to act like him. I just did that because I know that if we were to be together and everyone found out, you'd be the main target for everything. I didn't want you to get hurt. Getting hurt emotionally seems better than getting hurt physically." Minho said. Jisung shook his head. "what?" Minho asked
"When are you going to learn that I'd rather throw my self in front of a fucking bullet then not love you." Jisung said. Minho watched him get closer.
"I haven't slept minho. I haven't even ate a proper meal in days. I got sick because of this. I'm in more pain then you can imagine right now. But that pains not physical." Jisung said. Minho frowned softly. "Jisung. I'm sorry. I didn't want you to get hurt. I didn't want us to get put in danger." Minho said as he went to grab Jisungs hand but Jisung moved it away.
"I told you already minho. I understand. I understand everything. And I can give two fucks about it. You're not going to let anything happen to any of us. I'm not going to let anything happen to you or me. When will you understand that. Minho love takes pain, fights, arguments. Some dishes are going to break but are going to be able to clean up the mess?" Jisung asked. Minho just looked at him.
"Love takes risk. You have to be ready to worry every single fucking day. Worry about everything. Because thats what love is. Weither it be love between us, between a mom and her kid, anything. Love takes everything. But in the end it's nice, it's blissful. There's going to be a day were you find the one you love and there's a day were you can just sit in silence." Jisung said. He grabbed minho's hand. Minho felt his heart beat faster. He missed this touch.
"When you find love. You find everything. Maybe it's just us. But you should try and find the one you love. Make sure they love you back just as much and I promise you you'll be the most happiest person. You just have to find them." Jisung said. He looked at minho's rings. "Just the wrong time for us I guess." Jisung said with a small smile. He slowly let go of Jisungs hand.
Minho quickly hugged him. "N-No." Minho said as he cried. "Minho stop. Let go." Jisung said. He didn't want to cry in front of him. Minho shook his head. "N-No. I don't want to find another." Minho said. "Minho stop. Just-"
"God damnit Jisung. I love you. I love you so much. I want to give you everything and anything you want. I want to scream in front of everyone that you're mine. I want you. I want all of you. I want to have fights, scream at each and then make up. I was the pain the happiness. I want everything. Jisung I fucking love you." Minho said as he cupped Jisungs face.
"I want to stay with you forever. I want you to be the happiest person on the fucking planet. I want to not give a shit and kiss you on a street full of people. I just want you. I want to get on one knee and make you mine forever. I just want you. All of you. Because for the first time I love someone. I love you. You make me feel happy, make me feel like I'm the luckiest in the world. I love you. I love you. I love you. And I'm an idiot for thinking that anything can make me stop that." Minho said as he leaned in. Jisung was crying softly.
"I-I love you." Minho said.
"I love you too." Jisung said as he laughed and cried.
Minho kissed his nose. Jisung rubbed their noses together.