Heeyy. So uh, remember Lisa's business partners, the Minatozakis? I changed them to Jeon and now instead of Sana it will be Jeon Hee Jin. I already fixed the previous chapters. It's embarrassing but I kinda forgot that I already inserted Sana in this story in the early chapters lmao I apologize for the confusion.
Also, only a few chapters left (i think). Enjoy reading!
-jennie-
With her lips on my neck, my fingers on her long blonde hair, I couldn't find my sanity.
The throaty moans I release as she nibbled on my skin would have made my face hot in embarrassment, but my whole body is already burning with need. I missed her so bad. I need her so bad.
I didn't care where we were nor who could see us.
It's been so long, God, how did I last for a year without having her like this?
Last weekend, when I last saw her, I was so heartbroken to see her so hurt. I would've been happy knowing she still haven't moved on completely, but not when she's hurting.
I pulled her head back up to my lips to kiss her with need, devouring her lips, hoping it could ease her pain.
She sighed contentedly while I stroked her back, her head tilted to kiss me deeper.
I knew nothing was making any sense right now, though I couldn't help but curse Yuri in my mind when she interrupted our little insanity.
I heard the door behind me, which led to my office, opened, where I heard her gasp is coming from.
My heart was pounding so loud as Lisa abruptly pulled away. I didn't want her to stop, Yuri has seen us anyways, I wanted to tell her... but the moment I opened my eyes to see her troubled ones, I got scared a little.
I wanted to know what's running on her mind.
She then glanced at Yuri behind me, before turning to me again, now with stone cold eyes.
She dropped her hands back to her sides. I suddenly missed how it brushed against my face.
I'm not sure if Yuri was still behind me, but I didn't want to look away from Lisa. I didn't want to miss any single emotion coming from her.
I want to understand her.
I looked at her swollen lips.
Just the last time we saw each other, I knew for sure she wanted me gone.
But why kiss me now?
"I should go," she murmured.
Yuri's interruption didn't seem to embarrass her, it was more like a wake up call. Did she suddenly regret kissing me?
Desperately clinging on the edge of her long sleeves with my trembling fingers, I looked at her with pleading eyes.
"Stay.... please," I half whispered, not caring if I sounded desperate or if I was being selfish.
I felt any little hope I had inside me crush when she shook her head with those distant eyes.
"I... I need some time alone, to think," she explained, though she didn't have to. Somehow I felt guilty. Of course Lisa's still too good for me while here I am, undeserving of her love but still had the nerve to plead her to stay.
She didn't have to feel bad for wanting me gone in her life. I'm the stupid one for hoping, even for just a second, that she could want me back.
"I understand," I softly said, trying to stable my voice.
Her movements were slow as her eyes went down to my hand letting go of her cuffs. She dropped her hand back to her side, turned on her heals then started walking away. She didn't raise her eyes to mine when she entered the elevator, while I watched her until it closed, before finally releasing the tears I've been holding.
When I was finally calm, I entered the door leading to my office and saw Yuri stand up from her table, apologizing for what happened earlier, which I brushed off easily because she didn't really do anything wrong.
I was spacing out the rest of the day, exhausted and miserable. Yuri probably even noticed it because the next day, she suggested for me to go home early if I'm not feeling well.
I took off early since I have no appointments that afternoon anymore, and went straight to my apartment.
Mom called me too, saying the investigation might take longer, making me feel much worse. I miss Dad terribly and I wish he was here to guide me as I run the company. I just wish one thing would at least go right in my life.
"Hey," Jisoo picked up her phone after three rings, her tone happy, "What's up Jendeuk?"
"Hi Jennie!" I heard Rosé's voice too.
"Oh, hi," I muttered, ashamed that I might be interrupting them.
"Is everything alright?" Jisoo suddenly sounded worried. She's good at sensing my emotions.
"Yeah, yeah, I just missed you," I tried to sound energetic, "You two on a date?"
She hummed, "I just picked her up, heading out for dinner. And I miss you too. Are you sure you're okay? Where are you?" she still sounded worried.
I smiled a little, "At home. And I'm okay, just missed your voice a little," I chuckled.
"Cheeseball," she teased, finally relieved of her worries. "Wanna hangout with us?"
"Yeah, join us!" I heard Rosé say.
"Oh no, no I don't want to interrupt you guys—"
"Nonsense!" Rosé answered.
"Really, besides I brought home some work to do. I just called to check on you guys," I told them.
"You're too busy," Jisoo sighed. "Make sure to eat well, okay? Call when you need us."
"You too," I replied. We said our goodbyes shortly then ended the call.
I washed up first and decided to skip dinner, crawling under my bed covers even though it's only 7PM.
I already had my eyes closed, though far from getting asleep, when my phone buzzed.
I checked it and saw Mino sent a message.
'I heard you were off early today. Are you not feeling well?'
I quickly typed a reply.
Just tired but i'm fine :)
I was about to lie back down on the bed when the doorbell rang this time. I sighed, getting up to open the door.
I looked through the peep hole first—my jaw falling agape when I saw Lisa looking right at the door, hands in her coat's pockets.
What is she doing here?
I took a sharp breath and composed myself. I suddenly regret washing up early because now I'm already wearing my dark blue silky PJ's.
Calm down Jennie.
I slowly opened the door, instantly meeting her eyes right before it raked down on my body.
"Hey," she muttered hesitantly, then cleared her voice, "I, um... Rosé gave me your address. Is it a bad time?"
"No," I breathed, "Come in..."
I was relieved that she didn't reject me this time, but also paranoid, scared that I might do anything that would make her run out of my apartment.
"Do you want anything, a drink?" I asked.
She looked around my place subtly, then turned to me, "No, thank you. I came here to talk, Jen—"
My phone suddenly rung, interrupting her. I took a deep breath and looked at my phone which I placed on the table earlier, the one beside Lisa. We looked at it at the same time, Mino's name appearing on the screen.
I bit my lip and reached for my phone, hesitating on accepting the call.
"You can go answer it first, it might be urgent," she gave me a small smile.
I nodded, accepting the call and pressing it to my ears while walking towards the kitchen.
-lisa-
"Hey... yeah, I'm really fine.... yeah, I'm at home already.... No you don't need to... Mino..." I heard Jennie sigh, then paused for a while, "Okay, tomorrow night. Bye."
I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I can hear her from where she left me. Irritation rises inside me just by seeing his name on her phone, calling her... is he pursuing Jennie?
I turned around and faced her with a nod when I heard her foot steps approaching.
"Sorry about that," she says, coming back to the living room with fearful eyes.
I'm not stupid. I know she's walking on egg shells around me.
"So... where did we left off again?" she asks shyly, then gestured at the couch behind her, "Why don't you take a seat, Lisa—"
I sighed, took a step towards her and caught her wrist with my hand, making her eye me in surprise.
Not letting her utter another word, I sealed her lips with mine.
I know we should talk, but there were no words that would make us make sense, and I don't want to calculate my every move anymore.
Her lips parted, completely taken aback. I quickly pulled away and stared right through her feline eyes. She looked so unsure and confused, but when it dropped down to my lips and I've seen a hint of desire in those innocent looking eyes, I pulled her in my arms and slowly leaned on it once again.
Her hands were all over me.
With every touch, she left me aching, desperately needing her touch all over me.
But her hands were hesitant every time she touch me. I know she's scared. She's thinking too much. I can feel her thoughts slowly get through her so I had to pull away and look her in the eyes.
"Do you want to stop?" I asked, taking my hands off her.
"No," she quickly answered, gasping for air, then looked at me with worried, gorgeous eyes, "Do you?"
I stared at her, taking her beauty in, as I slowly shook my head.
She reached for my hand, softly tugging me towards a room, her room. I briefly glanced around, thinking how her style hasn't changed much.
She's already staring at me when I turned to her. Without breaking our eye contact, I closed our distance and brought her in my arms as I kissed her, aggressively this time.
I lowered her in the bed, removing my shirt before I went on top of her and showered her with wet, open-mouthed kisses.
The physical pain in my chest was there all throughout. When I kissed her, when I touched her, when she called my name... my heart never stopped aching for her.
"I love you," she whispers as she came for the second time tonight.
I stiffened. By the way her eyes widened, I knew she didn't plan on saying it herself. I removed myself from her and laid on my back, pretending I didn't hear anything.
We were both breathing heavily, my eyes on the ceiling. From my peripheral view, I can see her closing her eyes
What now, Jennie? I finally did what I wanted, I didn't think and just went with it... now where do we go from here?
It was one in the morning when I decided to get up, gather my clothes and wore it. Jennie's sleeping peacefully on the bed, and once again, my heart ached while I watch her.
I wouldn't be here when she wakes up. I know she hates it when I'm not next to her when she wakes up. She still hasn't changed much, has she?
Still, I can't find it in myself to stay until she wakes up. I couldn't even wrap my arms around her as she sleeps.
I wonder if what he had—or have—is too damaged, that it already is beyond repair... because I hope not.
I need her back. Desperately so. I really do.
But the thing is... I'm not sure if I want her back.
I'm not sure if my heart can still take any pain if she ever leaves me again.