It has been three days. It is the day the doctors decide should Jason come to home or not. I prayed to the Almighty to give us strength if he won't come back. But more over I prayed for him to come with us. It feels as if it has been a year since we have went back home without him but it has only been 1 week. I remembered the latest horrible night at home.
I was up in my room doing some home work while Jason decided to knock on my door. "What?" I asked annoyingly thinking it was my mom. You can't hate me for not having a good relation with my parents after providing me a shelter to live in but they have never been so close because of the word. I can tell they fear they die just by the look on their eyes even though they don't show much of their faces to me. Glad they don't. I turned around to see my younger boy self standing by the door and that's when I mentally slapped myself for thinking it was them. they would not even come here, duhh.
"Hey brother, you lost?" I asked in a joke tone. "Actually, I am" he said. I was shocked. The positively ever after is suddenly being negative. My heart started to beat wildly. Not my brother, I reminded the whoever might be. "I wonder..." he paused for a minute or so. I will surely just hit him with a pillow if he is going to act like a real brother. I raised one of my eyebrow when he didn't talked. "I wonder what if all these things are just a set up" he completed after like 2 minutes. "What?" I asked completely confused. "The box thing." But before I could tell him it was stupid he started again, " I know it do sounds stupid but I actually do think that all this is a set up. I mean all our life depending on a stupid word. Really? You gotta be joking" I understand what is with him. "You are just mad brother. You don't like me having this stupid tragic life. You think I do? No, of course not Jay. But I think I am much okay now with this..." I said even though the last sentence was not true. I just only wanted my brother to feel good. "I know when you are lying Jan but when I say you deserve better you do. You deserve the best big sissy" He said as a small smile painted on my lips. He is too good for this world. No goodness, I should not say that. "You know that when we die here we will reborn, right? Well let me tell you, I would love to be your sissy then too" I said hoping that it would make him feel better. "But we won't know about this life, do we?" He asked as his small face turned sad. Okay, I think I made it worse. No honey, you made it the worst. The inner voice spoke and I slammed it with a book in my head. Okay, maybe that could be an exaggerated sentence but still. "Hey, let go of that. We would be happier without this past self of us haunting, I am damn sure" he gave me a nod and looked down at the tiles. "Buddy, you alright?" I asked as the possessive me started to take over. "Yes I am, maybe I am feeling a bit dizzy but it is just because I haven't ate dinner yet. And oh yeah, I have came here to call you downstairs too" he speaks as he got up. Is he really fine? I have a bad feeling in my mind. As he got out he stumbles. I quickly got by his side. Maybe he is just sleepy, the calm inner voice spoke. Yeah she might be right. He clutched his small hands on to my comparatively big hands. I hold his hands without letting him down as we walk towards the dining. We sat on the table and as always our parents started to treat as if Jayson was the only other living creature other than themselves. I ignored all those and started to eat as always I used to until Jayson gave all of us a heart attack. He vomited. Not food but blood. Well not entirely blood but the amount of blood was higher. I quickly got up and tried to calm him down while mother was panicking and father was taking the car keys and other stuffs. He started to cough violently spitting blood in all directions, my dress, momma's dress, tablecloth, floor etc. "Jay don't worry little, everything is going to be okay." His cough suddenly decreased as he made out these words, "yeah when I am going to die". I really just wanted to beat him up at that moment but he coughed harshly making me scared to even touch him. I felt like he is going to die just by spitting the whole blood out of his body. I mentally beat the pulp out of myself when I saw mom taking him in the bridal style which gave me a mini heart attack. I was going to kill this woman if he died just because of how she took him because I felt it as a risk not worth taking of. I mean it is better to give him a slow death than one painful one right? Uhmm... Well I don't know.
Mom took him outside with me tailing behind her and dad leading us to the car. I shut the door behind us and locked it securely as I saw mom getting in the backseat with him. I ran to the front seat, near to the driver's seat and looked back to see my brother coughing little, his glittery eyes boring into mine but the only inhuman thing was he wasn't blinking. My breath caught up and it was really hard to breathe and dad breaking the speed limits was something not so good. I clutched into my seat belt and closed my eyes and after what it seems like a minute we were in the familiar hospital which actually took half an hour to reach. We were in the emergency entrance and it all feels like moving in a trance. Everything went in a blur until I settled down in the seat in front of ICU. There were things like 'he is fine', 'this is quite normal' a lot of things. I was sweating in a fully air conditioned hospital until he was shifted in to his room, still unconscious with glucose bottles attached to his wrists. That is when I was finally back into the real world. I took large amounts of oxygen by taking deep breaths. I looked at my watch, it was 10 in the night. I couldn't believe that we have been in this hospital closely for 2 hours. My dad was informing Aunt May, one of the few who isn't scared of me. I had my mother's bag with me, don't know how I caught her bag in my hand, but it was good. I really hated disturbing Ruby but I wanted her to know right now or else she will kill me when she comes to know about this. Literally she will. I dialed her number in my mother's phone and took few more breaths and called it. The ringing started and after the 3rd ring Mrs. Celsia took the phone.
"Hello?"
"Hey Mrs. Celsia, this is Janet."
"Janet, my dear, you alright?" I remembered me asking Jayson the question. My heart clenched at the memory and I swapped back to reality.
"Actually Mrs. Celsia, it would be great if you hand over your phone to Ruby." I said hoping it wasn't mean.
"Sure my dear, but please tell if you need any help or anything."
"I will Mrs. Celsia. Thank You" I completed and waited for Ruby to get hold of the phone. As soon as she said hello I started rambling out whatever happened without skipping a single detail. She gave the perfect ohs, hmms and okays at the correct intervals which is what one of the best things about her. She is a great listener. She asked me to calm down and came as soon as possible with her parents and consoled me.
Right now sitting here in front of his room feels so stupid and wrong. He wasn't in his room and still no one let me in and waiting outside the room is useless, I know. Not letting me in is considerable. Patient hygiene is really important and I should not ruin it, especially my own brother's who I love and care about. I waited for what it seems like an hour before I doze off quickly for a minute or so before I heard footsteps. I looked up to find the Celcia family walking towards us. Yes us, I don't know when did my parents got here and if they are here that means Jayson is also here. I tried peeping in but there were also curtains which forbid me from seeing him. I hate all these curtains. I looked to my left to see that Mrs. Celsia is carrying a package and I really did wished it was her signature muffins. i am craving for whatever Ruby's mother has made and one of the fact is she is a great cook. My mother has forgotten to cook. Not so long after I was the age 6. Before that my mother and Mrs. Celcia would bake and cook together and serve the Celcia and Luv family who were best friends. I sighed at the thought and looked at the nearing family. My bestie ran towards me when she was just 5 or 6 tiles away and hugged me as I hugged her back. We sat on the chairs and she looked at me and gave a silent message: Everything will be Alright. My mother and Mrs. Celsia hugged each other while the men shook hands. I could see the small baby bump growing in Mrs. Celsia's tummy and I could be no more happier for Ruby. She always needed a younger sibling which is one of the reason (despite the sismance) she always came to me whenever something bad happens. I know she is not only here to take care of me but also for Jay. She sees him as her own younger brother and has been more of a sister to him than I can ever be. I try distancing from people I love, that only includes my family and Celcias and Aunt May, so that I can keep them safe.
I smiled as Mrs. Celcia handed over me the package asking me to open only when we see Jayson and I never disobeys her. She is my favorite and I never want to hurt her.We waited for a few more minutes when nurse said that we can go and see him but asked us not to give him any stress. We obeyed and thanked her as we got into his room. He was staring outside through the large window beside his bed and he was attached to machines. It hurts me seeing him like this but I tried my best not showing my reaction on my face. He turns, most probably sensing people, and looked at us and smiled. His childish smile and sparkling eyes were some things that has the power to make me ignore everything else.
"Hey big sissies, how you both?" he asked in a mild sound which felt sharper than stabbing hundreds of knife to my chest. "Shouldn't we be asking that to you?" Ruby spoke up and he giggles which indeed was passed to everyone in the room. I loved when he smiled, when he giggled. When he acted as if there was nothing wrong. I just want him like this. Forever.