"I'm going to find you one day, and when I do, I'll make sure to compensate you for all the days you felt like the word 'torture' wasn't enough to describe what you had to go through. I'll take away all your pain and replace it with indescribable feelings. I'll blow life in you once more and teach you what it means to be truly happy. I'll be the person you've always wished me to be. I'll do anything that will satisfy you, and if it isn't enough for your happiness, I'll push myself to do more. As long as we are together, there is nothing more from the world that I can possibly ask for, but now that I can't find you anymore, I feel as though my world is starting to disappear bit by bit. My heart isn't capable of beating properly. It is crying out drops of blood everytime it beats, knowing that the other heart that used to keep it company and safe has stopped beating. My whole body is suddenly aching and I can't stand on my own anymore. I miss your presence by my side, and now that I'm aware of your absence even more, I miss you much more and my love for you has increased. What is keeping me happy now, though, is the fact that we are both surrounded by the people we love. You have joined our gone loved ones, and they are there to care for you and show you around your new world, while I'm surrounded by people who support and care for me. Even though you have never approved of my love for them, they will still make sure to provide me with all the love and care until I can finally see you again. They won't let you down. I promise. Just take care of yourself really well until then. I'll make sure to come find you, just wait for me. I love you."
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"Seo Yeon," Namjoon's soft voice pierced right through my train of thoughts, snapping me into reality.
I looked into his concerned eyes with no emotions. I was dead and broken. The difference between his twinkling eyes and my dead ones was visible and it shook something in me, but I wasn't capable of understanding that "something" mainly because I didn't want to. I wanted to stay in a secluded place all alone. I didn't want to see humans or anything else. However, I couldn't push anyone away from me because I knew that it would break them if I did and because deep down, I knew that I needed them to stay sane.
"You haven't eaten anything for four days already. It's not good for you. At least have a sip of water," Namjoon said softly then held my dry, cold hands in his.
Winter has already started, and the now freezing wind started penetrating the warmth that the crowd gave us, making the whole camp very chilly. It became really cold to the point that the air coming out of our mouths was visible and our skins started turning pink.
I shook my head at him and felt tears form in my eyes.
"I don't feel like eating or drinking anything," I said then laid back on my bed.
We sat there in a moment of silence, doing nothing but zoning out every now and then. It has been four days ever since I found out about my father's death, and ever since then, I just couldn't eat, drink, or even sleep. During the nights that insomnia hit, Namjoon used to stay awake by my side, refusing to let himself doze off for a couple of hours until I allow myself to sleep too. I used to feel bad about keeping him awake when it was so obvious that he was fatigued, so I used to pretend to be asleep until his eyes close, then start overthinking for the rest of the night. My lips turned purple from the cold and were extremely chapped due to dehydration and the area under my eyes turned black because I was sleep deprived. My body was pale and weak, but my leg was doing better. Today was the day I start my first physical therapy session with Namjoon. The nurses and doctors here have a lot to do and more serious cases to deal with, so I was told that a nurse will come by to show Namjoon how my physical therapy sessions will be like and then Namjoon can be my therapist from now on. I was glad to hear that because I knew that Namjoon will be the reason why I will tolerate the pain and move on.
Another thing I heard was that the nurses will be distributing warm blankets and jackets to everyone present at the camp since it became so cold outside. The difference between the weather when we first arrived at the camp and the weather now was extremely noticeable, and the warmth that radiated from the camp itself was gradually disappearing and was replaced with roaring, stinging, cold winds. I didn't even know why it took them too long to realize that the patients were freezing to death and only thought of distributing the blankets and jackets now.
Other than those facts, nothing particularly interesting has been happening. We haven't visited Taehyung, Jin or Hobi ever since I knew about my father's death. We knew nothing about Jimin's condition, and were completely isolated from everyone else. None of us spotted Jungkook anywhere and I haven't seen that familiar guy since the last time in the cafeteria either. There were no news about Yoongi, and it kind of scared every one of us considering that if he was still out there, it would be very difficult for him to survive. All in all, we were all mentally destroyed and wanted a break, but we knew very well that we couldn't have one, mainly because all this trouble was part of the deal.
"Ms. Seo Yeon?" I heard a feminine voice call out so I looked forward and saw a nurse walk towards my bed.
"Yes, that's me," I said with a concerned tone and lifted myself upward, worried that something else went wrong. Namjoon too stood up from his chair and held the wide of my bed with concern.
"You two look very stressed out. Don't worry; there is nothing wrong. I'm just here to start your first physical therapy session," She said, making the two of us release a heavy breath that we didn't even know we were holding.
"Alright," I said and then let out a sigh as Namjoon helped me up to my feet.
The session was comprised of nothing but Namjoon allowing me to walk on my own and some exercises to get my muscles working again. It was really painful at first, but then once I got the hang of it, I couldn't feel the pain as much. My determination to start walking off on my own though was one reason why I tried my best to ignore the pain that shot through my leg and spine everytime I tried using my injured leg. That determination came from a stronger determination to find Jungkook. What I thought was that Namjoon didn't want me to go off looking for Jungkook on my own because of my injury, but if I am capable of walking on my own just fine, then he shouldn't have a problem if I take off on my own, so I put in as much effort as I could into training.
After nearly half an hour of moving around, I threw my fatigued body on my bed and tried to relax my muscles. Namjoon sat on his chair as usual and waited for me to relax my body.
"How is your leg feeling?" He suddenly asked me.
"Better," I smiled at him, but for the first time, he didn't smile back, so mine died down.
"What's wrong?" I asked him, afraid that I might have done something to disappoint him or even worse, angered him.
"I'm concerned for you. Look at yourself. You look so weak. Your face, your body. You need to take better care of yourself. And I'm trying to help you, but you keep pushing me off," He said, and I lowered my eyes, knowing that he was right.
"Listen. I know how your father's death is affecting you. I've lost loved ones too before, and to be honest, losing a father is probably one of the hardest losses. He is your dad after all. But, I don't think that's the right way to grieve. Your father wouldn't want you to kill yourself just because of him. He wouldn't be able to rest peacefully if you don't take good care of yourself. He loves you, and you know that. Even now, he still does. So make sure to not disappoint him in you," He said and I felt a pang in my heart. I knew that everything he was saying was right. I mean, I did look miserable, and I knew none of my family would've appreciated my way of grieving, but it wasn't intentional. I really didn't feel like eating or drinking anything.
"You're right. I'm sorry," I said, still not capable of looking into his eyes.
I felt his hands on my shoulder, so I looked up and found him smiling at me.
"So, should I go bring you something to eat?" He asked me with excitement, so I smiled slightly and nodded my head.
"I'll be right back!" He said before running off to the cafeteria. I kept my eyes fixed on him as he ran away until I couldn't see him anymore and smiled to myself.
Even though I'm going through loads of problems right now, I really am blessed for having him by my side throughout it all.
I heard a loud, screeching sound so I looked up and tried to find the source of it. I saw a couple of men wearing uniforms rush into the camp, holding huge plastic-like sheets. I knotted my eyebrows as I observed them.
They are soldiers. What are the soldiers doing here?!
An alarm suddenly went off, confusing and frightening everyone.
What is going on?!
The place became extremely chaotic as everyone fought their way to try and find out what was going on.
I looked all around me to try and spot Namjoon, but I couldn't find him anywhere.
"What is going on?!" I heard many people scream at the soldiers near the entrance of the tent.
Some of the soldiers seemed like they were trying to calm everyone down, while the rest were pinning the huge sheet against the entrance.
Suddenly, I found a body approaching me really quickly so I flinched but then I noticed that it was a panting Namjoon with a sandwich and two bottles of water.
"Namjoon, what is going on?! Why are the soldiers here and why is there an alarm ringing?!" I shouted at Namjoon so he can hear me over the loud noise of the crowd.
"I-I think we are facing a strong snowstorm. They are sealing the camp," He said, and my heart dropped.
Mom.
Yoongi.
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Hello my lovelies!!
New update!
I apologize for the delay, but I was really busy. I'm very very sorry! But I do write in my free time!
Things arent really getting better with the story. As you can see, winter has officially started and now there is going to be a strong snow storm and they are sealing down the tents. No one knows whether or not Yoongi is in the camp or not, and she doesnt know her mom's whereabouts either, so... yeah... everyone is doomed basically.
I dont know what you think of the content so far. You know, since they have arrived at the camp, the action has decreased... back then anything was possible. You know... falling cars... more earthquakes... exploding buildings... and so on, but now it is more of me playing with your emotions... and I dont know if I'm good at that, but I'm trying.... the book is going to end soon, but I still felt like giving it more twists and problems... but yeah...
Please do tell me what you think... constructive criticism is the best as you know and I do accept it!
I'd also like to thank all my readers... whether you are active or not, I appreciate you and love you so much. This book and me would be nothing without you, so thank you so much! All the credit is to you!
Don't forget to take care and love yourselves,
Thank you so much,
I love you all,
-R 💜💜