"You've done some good work here" Dr. Erickson said, extending his hand out for Stefan to shake.
It was Sunday morning. Stefan adjusted his duffle bag on his shoulder before shaking the psychologist's hand. "Thank you" Stefan said politely. "I still have work to do, but I am feeling pretty optimistic right now" Stefan told him. It was the truth, to some degree.
Dr. Erickson nodded. "We'll start out with weekly appointments and go from there" he explained. He was going to miss seeing Stefan every day, but he knew Stefan was ready to go home. "I need to remind you that the protection order against you is still in place. You cannot contact Elena, or you could be arrested" he reminded bluntly.
Stefan nodded this time. "I know" he replied. He was well aware of the protection order against him. It haunted him every day. "I should get going" he added, anxious to get out of there. Six months had been a long time to be away from home. Despite how nervous he was to leave, he knew he was ready. He hoped.
"I'll see you next week" Dr. Erickson said politely.
Stefan took comfort in knowing that he would still have the guidance of his psychologist, just in case. "See you next week" Stefan said, confirming with a nod.
Then Stefan took a deep, calming breath as he walked out of the doors of the rehabilitation center. He had to put his sunglasses on because the June sun was shining bright that morning, though it was still a bit chilly out. Stefan walked over to a bench and sat down to wait for the bus.
He had not told Damon he was coming home. Truthfully, he had only made the decision a few days earlier. Stefan wanted to make sure he was truly ready to leave. Going back home and making things right with Damon and Elena was not going to be easy. As he waited for his bus, he pulled his wedding band out of his pocket. It had been on his mind lately as he wondered what he should do with it.
He was officially divorced, so really there was no reason to hang onto it. Yet getting rid of it made the divorce feel more real than he cared to believe.
Even if they were divorced on paper, she was still someone he loved very much.
The bus honking made him jump slightly, nearly dropping the ring. He quickly pocketed it and stood, ready to make the trip home.
XXXX
Damon had let it slip one day while visiting. They were drinking sweet tea out on the lawn when Damon had accidentally told Stefan where Elena was living. Damon was on a rant about how the landlord was overcharging Elena for the place and how the guy never fixed anything that went wrong.
So it did not take long for Stefan to locate the house Elena was renting. He got straight off the bus, choosing to avoid going back to his house he once shared with Elena for as long as he could. It killed him to know she no longer lived there.
But she was not currently at her new home either.
Stefan stood on the sidewalk across the street and waited. He did not know where she was or how long it would take her to arrive home, but he had nothing else to do.
His psychologist's words continued to remind him that he should not have been there. Elena had a protection order against him and all she had to do was call the police.
But he needed to see her. It was one thing for Damon to tell him how she was doing. He wanted to see for himself.
Stefan fully expected Elena to not want to see him, and he was trying to mentally prepare himself for that. He was not sure that was possible though.
When her car finally turned into the driveway, his anxiety skyrocketed. Elena was driving an older car, one that she had probably bought herself. The driver's side door squeaked open as she got out, holding a bag of groceries.
Elena's hair was shorter, about shoulder length now. It was different, but he thought he liked it.
She slammed the door hard to make sure it closed. Then she readjusted the bag she was holding and as she turned, she saw him standing across the street, looking at her.
Elena froze, giving herself time to figure out if it was really him, or if her mind was playing tricks on her. Sometimes she woke up and looked for him next to her in bed. It hurt every time when she remembered where he was and why he was there.
But this time, he was really there.
Stefan stood as still as he could, watching her, his heart racing. And then it shattered into a million little pieces as she turned quickly and hurried into the house. No amount of preparation could even come close to preparing him for that kind of pain. He could not live without her, and yet he had to now.
Stefan's head hung low as he turned around, ready to pick up his bag and go home. If he even made it that far before the police found him.
Stefan slung his bag over his shoulder and started walking when he heard a door open again. When he turned around, he saw Elena walking back outside. She paused as if she was rethinking her decision to come back outside. Then she began walking towards him slowly.
Every step she took made his chest tighten with anxiety. She stopped on the sidewalk, looked both ways and took a deep breath as she crossed the street.
Stefan buried his hands in the pockets of his sweatshirt and watched as she walked closer and closer to him. Her expression was neutral, giving nothing away for the time being. He just wanted to know if she was angry or surprised or whatever else she could be feeling.
Elena stepped up onto the sidewalk with him, keeping a good couple of feet in distance between them. He didn't blame her though. She looked uncomfortable.
The silence between them was intolerable. "I know I shouldn't be here" Stefan finally said, quickly.
Elena crossed her arms, not sure how she felt about him being there. "How are you?" she asked, deciding that was a polite way to ease her way into their conversation. Truthfully, she did not know what else to say.
Stefan nodded. "I'm doing okay" he answered honestly.
"Good" Elena said, looking down at the sidewalk and focusing on a bottle cap lying there. She was glad to hear he was doing better. "I should get back inside ..." Elena mentioned. It was the only thing she could think of to say to escape the situation. To escape him and all of the painful memories she had.
"Will you have dinner with me?" Stefan blurted out before he lost his chance to. He needed to talk, to tell her things. "Whenever you're free" he added quickly, leaving it up to her. He was hopeful.
Elena looked up at him with weary eyes. "I ... I don't think that's a good idea" she said nervously. It killed her to decline, but she had to. The look on Stefan's face though was heartbreaking. She was sure that Stefan thought she would say yes. "I'm sorry, Stefan" she said, saying his name aloud for the first time in a long time. Elena turned and started back towards her house, leaving Stefan standing alone once again.
The moment Elena shut her front door, she closed her eyes and leaned against the door, trying to calm her rapid heartbeat. Elena knew that Stefan would be home from rehab at some point. She just was not expecting him to show up out of the blue like he had.
Remembering how devastated Stefan had looked outside after she had told him she would not have dinner with him had Elena in tears for the first time in a while.
XXXX
The table Damon and Elena ate at was entirely too big for just the two of them. But Elena never said anything and they continued to eat there on Sundays when Elena came over for dinner. Even after their big fight about Stefan and the divorce, Damon had still insisted they continue the tradition to eat dinner together on Sundays. It had been awkward for Elena at first, but Damon had done his best to make her comfortable by not talking about Stefan. She appreciated him for that.
In between bites of lasagna, Elena decided to tell Damon about Stefan. "Stefan came by to see me today" she said quietly, saying his name for a second time that day.
Damon's fork stilled as he looked up from his plate to her. "He did what?" Damon asked. Hell, he didn't even know that Stefan was home.
Elena could detect the frustration in Damon's voice. Elena pushed some salad around on her plate. Despite how good the food was, she just wasn't hungry after her encounter with Stefan. "It's fine" Elena said, staring down at her plate. "I'll go and drop the protection order tomorrow. There's no point in having it anymore" Elena mentioned. Stefan wasn't going to hurt her. He wasn't that crazy ex who would sooner see her die than live without her. The protection order had served its purpose.
"He still shouldn't have shown up like that" Damon stated. "He knew better."
"Really Damon, it's fine" Elena reiterated.
Damon decided not to lecture. He was more curious than anything. "So, how was it? Seeing him, I mean?" Damon asked cautiously.
Elena shrugged. "Okay" she lied. It had been uncomfortable and awkward. "He asked me to dinner." Uncomfortable silence took place for a good minute or so and it was horrible. Elena continued to poke at her food, resisting the urge to glance up at Damon and see what he was thinking.
Finally, Damon cleared his throat and pushed his plate aside, leaving a good portion of food on his plate which was unusual for him. He clasped his hands together and looked at her. "What ... uh ... what did you say?" he asked. As much as he wanted to, he could not come out and ask what Elena's future looked like with his brother. Maybe she did not know, or maybe she did and Stefan clearly was not in it. Either way, not knowing was torture for Damon.
Elena sighed and pushed her plate aside too. "I told him I didn't think it was a good idea" she answered. She knew her rejection had crushed him.
Damon was worried that Stefan might start drinking again if he was upset. "I know it's none of my business, but ... I think he has things he needs to say to you" Damon said carefully. "It is probably part of his treatment" he added. He would never pressure Elena into seeing Stefan if she did not want to, but hoped that she would, for Stefan's sake. Hell, for her sake too.
"I'm just not sure I'm ready" Elena said sadly. Seeing him earlier had been a lot harder than she had anticipated. Being in a confined space with him while trying to eat a meal did not exactly sound like something she could do at the moment.
Damon reached across the table and grabbed her hand for support. "Nothing about this is going to be easy" he told her honestly. "But Stefan is trying. He didn't stay six months in rehab because he had to" Damon reminded gently. Stefan had stayed because he knew 30 days was not enough time to get himself back on track.
Elena locked eyes with Damon and nodded. "I know" she said quietly. She knew in her heart that Stefan had stayed away so long so he could get better.
She just did not want to admit that he was getting better more so for her than for himself.
XXXX
Stefan had been sitting on his porch steps for a while now. When he left Elena, he went to his house hoping to get settled in. But he had never felt more out of place.
His house was no longer a home. Inside were just memories, and even the good ones were painful. All of Elena's things were gone. Correction. All of the things Elena had before she met Stefan were gone. Everything he had given her was still where she had left it in the house.
When he had walked inside, Elena had not come around the corner, greeting him with a kiss. Instead, he was greeted with darkness.
So there he sat, with his bag beside him. He had no idea how long he planned to sit there or what he planned on doing after.
When Damon drove up and found him, the sun was starting to set. He turned his truck off and walked towards Stefan, taking a seat next to him.
Stefan waited for Damon to say something, but he never did. "Are you here to lecture me for going to see Elena today?" Stefan asked. He was almost certain that Elena had told Damon.
Damon let Stefan's question linger for a moment before he answered. "I'm here to see my brother" he answered.
Stefan felt his eyes sting and he prayed he would not cry in front of Damon. The day had just been overwhelming for him and it was starting to take its toll on him. "I don't think I can stay here" Stefan said, wiping at his right eye as a single tear escaped. Definitely not in that house. Maybe not even in Charleston.
Stefan did not have to explain, because Damon understood. He felt the same way when Katherine left. Damon placed his hand on Stefan's shoulder supportively. "Come on" he said. "You can stay with me."
XXXX
It was Monday and Elena was already exhausted from work. But chasing a bunch of little kids around all day did that to a person.
She parked her car next to Damon's truck at his house. She was surprised to see that he was home. The man worked crazy hours, but his company was his passion. Maybe one day she could love a career as much as he loved his.
Elena wiped a stray strand of hair off of her forehead as she climbed the porch steps. Even in the evenings, the temperature was warmer than was comfortable some days.
She knocked, even though Damon had told her she did not need to. His home was her home and she was welcome there anytime. She just felt weird about walking into someone's home unannounced.
A moment or two later, the door opened, and Elena came face to face with Stefan. He startled her as much as she startled him. "Hey" Elena said nervously. Stefan gave her a nervous nod of acknowledgement that made things even more awkward. He looked like he hadn't slept at all and Elena wondered if she was the cause of that.
"Damon is in the back" he said quietly, stepping aside and opening the door even wider for her to go through. He had no intention to talk to her or follow her. Obviously she was not there to see him.
Elena looked nervously down at her feet. "I just forgot my phone here last night" she said, just as quietly.
Stefan watched Elena slip past him and into the house. He kept the door open and pretended like he was not watching her. He just so desperately wanted to talk to her.
"Found it" Elena said, picking it up off the table. She held it up for Stefan to see, as if she were proving to him that is what she was really coming over for. Then she walked back towards him so she could leave, but paused in the doorway. "You'll tell him I stopped by to get it?" she asked, taking a chance and looking up at Stefan.
When his eyes met hers, his heart ached. He was so lonely, and yet she was close enough to hold. "Of course" he told her, praying she would not look away from him.
"Thank you" Elena said. She finally did look back down at her feet again. "I should get going" Elena added softly.
Stefan watched her walk away from him again and out the door. It was pure torture, watching her leave. How would he ever get used to it? As she started down the steps, he began to shut the door.
"Stefan" Elena said, just before the door had the chance to click shut.
Stefan opened the door a little more, unsure if he had actually heard her or if it was all in his head. But by the way she was turned and looking at him, it was obvious she had said his name.
Elena wrapped her hands tight around her phone to prevent them from shaking. She even had to take a few small breathes to calm her nerves. She had once been married to the man and now it was a real struggle just to be in his presence. Avoiding him for the rest of her life was not going to fix anything. "I will ... have dinner with you" she told him nervously, looking down at her fingers gripping tightly around her phone still. "If you still want to, I mean" she added quickly.
Stefan was so surprised to hear her say that and he mentally kicked himself for waiting so long to reply. "Yes" he said, nodding his head and holding back a smile. It just made him so happy to hear her say she wanted to have dinner with him. After the day before, he was convinced he would never get the opportunity to say everything he needed to say. "What day works for you?" he asked, trying not to sound too eager but needing to know. He would finally have something to look forward to.
Elena paused for a moment and thought about her schedule. "Wednesday night? Maybe 6:30?" she asked.
Stefan nodded, needing no time to think about if that time worked for him. He had no schedule to keep to, except for his therapy appointments, and even if one of those got in the way, he would change it. He was about ready to tell her he would be by to pick her up, but Elena beat him to the subject.
"I'll meet you at Fleet Landing?" she asked. It was a casual, low-key place that overlooked the water. There would be plenty of people around. The food was good.
"Okay" he said, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I'll see you Wednesday" he told her.
"See you" Elena said, turning slowly and closing her eyes as she walked back to her car. She had no idea what was going to happen at dinner, or whether she had even made the right decision when she agreed to go with him.
Stefan waited until she pulled out of the driveway before he let himself smile. He had no idea what was going to come from this dinner, but the idea of getting to see her again was something to be happy about.