The sun and the moon follow us wherever we go, and when we see them, we smile at them, because they follow us and somewhat, it's funny. But when depression, stress and problems follow us, we frown. Why don't you smile at them? Then maybe, depression will become appreciation, stress will become less and problems, they won't even matter. All you have to do, is twist that frown upside down and smile.
Ruhee's heart had stopped, her body was working on it's own accord and her mind, it was a mess. Why? Because Aayan, was hugging her. Her fingers that were intervened in his soft hair, were slowly massaging his scalp. She let him be like that, because for some reason, she felt he needed it. Ruhee's attention on massaging suddenly wavered. She didn't believe what she heard but, the sound came again.
Is he crying?
Ruhee looked at Aayan and saw his shoulders slightly shaking. She got scared, because she had never seen or thought that Aayan would cry. She left his scalp and moved her hands to hold his face between her palms, as she sat down in front of him, seeing his face closer and clearer. She was right, he was crying. His entire face was a mess. He had his eyes casted down with his eye lashes wet and tears streaming down his face.
Oh My God!!
She wipes his tears with her thumbs as she held his face between her palms, 'Aayan.' she called to him, in a soft worried voice. She felt tears forming at the back of her eyes seeing him like this, 'Aayan, look at me.' she said. He shook his head, his eyes still looking down, 'Aayan, look at me, please.' she pleaded, and after sometime, he slowly lifted his eyes to look at her. Ruhee sucked in a deep breath as she stared into his eyes. She didn't see the strong, capable and stubborn Aayan in them, instead, she saw a tired and vulnerable Aayan.
A traitorous tear left Ruhee's eye as she stared into his pain filled eyes. She just stared into them, wanting to take away all his pain and sorrow, 'I want to let go off my pain aswell.' he said, in his pain filled voice. Ruhee nodded her head at him and swollowed her tears, 'I am right here.' she said, eager to take his pain away. Another cry left his mouth, as his face fell from in between Ruhee's hands into his own. He sobbed hard and all she could do, was sit and watch.
'I became a rebel.' he said, from in between his hands. He removed his head from in between his palms and looked at the ground, as he began to speak, 'I hit everyone who called me "illegal or illegitimate" I would punch them and fight with them, until someone would come and pull me away.' he said, and Ruhee saw anger in his red stained eyes, 'But, the bullying never stopped. Why? Because Mahir didn't let them.' he was breathing hard by now, 'Mahir would never come and say it on my face that he hated me and my existence, but he provoked the other kids to do it. Ammi knows nothing of this phase of my middle school life.' he finally lifted his head and looked at Ruhee, and the pain and grief in them, broke her heart.
'I remember only taunts and bullying through out my elimentary school life, other then studies. No one would be my friends because I was illegal.' the way he said "Illegal" with so much hate and detest, hurt her. 'I was young and small in elementary, but in middle school, I was strong and smart, I knew what they did and why they did, ruining my school life, but a person can only take it it till he can, so I went rogue in middle school, the trouble maker and bad boy.' the menacing look and pain in his eyes was scaring Ruhee, but she sat there and listened, not uttering a single word.
'Until I came to high school, I was spoilt. Ammi and Abbu only knew about the happy and jovial child at home, they had no clue that their son was becoming a monster in the world outside.' he looked at his hands and continued, 'Zubair was with me in high school, and he would make sure I never fought or hurt anyone but Mahir, he couldn't see me out of trouble and safe, so I had it.' he suddenly looked up at Ruhee, staring right in her eyes. It was the look in his eyes that caused her to hold her breath,'I faced him, I asked him what his actual problem was with me? We stayed out of his and his mother's life, Abbu spent more time with them and yet, he was not happy, why? You know what he said?' he asked Ruhee, his eyes forming tears of anger and gritting his teeth,'He said, he hates when my eyes shine and my lips smile. He said he hates it, when I am happy.' and a tear slipped down his eye and Ruhee's.
He looks back to the floor and continues, 'I didn't say anything. I just walked away, to kill myself.' another tear left Ruhee's eye, 'I stood on the terrace of my high school, and stared at the five floors drop. He didn't want me to be happy and I can't stay sad and angry forever, so I decided to make things easy for us both, but I couldn't' and Ruhee finally, exhaled, 'Ammi's and Abbu's smiling faces flashed in front of me and I just couldn't.' he shook his head and said, 'And when Zubair found out what I had almost done, he beat me to a pulp. The friend who always told me I was strong and brave, called me a coward that day, he said that I was a coward, running away because of my family problems.'
Aayan looks at Ruhee again and continues,'He said, if I couldn't handle the comments and taunts of the school kids, how will I handle the world that will keep pushing me down. He grabbed my collor and looked me in the eye and said, that If my happiness makes him angry, then I must be happy. Do what makes me happy and shove it on their faces, because that's what will shut them up.' Aayan had a determined look in his eyes that made Ruhee proud of him. He looks back at the floor and says,'And I did just that. I studied hard and stayed happy. Didn't get into fights or hit anyone. They kept on saying and I kept on being happy.'
He stops talking and wipes his face with his hands and starts, 'But that day, when I saw you standing there, knowing that you heard everything, I don't know, I felt scared again.' he looks up at her and says, 'That what if you also thought of me being illegitimate wasn't right? What if you stop behaving like you do with me? What if you also hated me?' Aayan's voice cracked in the end. Ruhee's heart broke, to think that he would ever think she would think of him like that. Ruhee takes a deep breath and wipes her tears away and moves closer to Aayan. Aayan follows her every move with his eyes as she comes closer to him and holds his face between her palms. She strokes his face for a moment and smiles at him, 'I don't hate you Aayan, in fact, I can never hate, and that to because of a title the world gave you, not a chance.' she says, in a comforting voice
She looks into his eyes and continues, 'You are so brave Aayan, like mother like son. You did right, not jumping off the terrace and I thank Zubair. If he hadn't knocked some sense into you, maybe I would have never met you. An amazing, smart and brave man. I guess I did get lucky, to accidentally marry you.' Ruhee's smile widens as a small smile spreads on Aayan's lips,'And as for Mahir and his mother, them hating you and wanting to hurt you, let them do, because they are just two more people in this world that hate you. And if we worry about all the people that hate us, it's not fair to our happiness. We'll be happy and let them hate, because not everyone can love us. We are too extraordinary for their ordinary minds.' and Aayan laughs softly at her words.
Ruhee gives him a big toothy smile and wipes his face. She hands him a glass of water from the bedside which he happily drinks,'Now, let's go to bed.' Ruhee says and stands up but Aayan holds her hand. She looks down at him, waiting for him to speak, he looks around and says uncertain, 'If you don't mind, um.. Can you sleep on the bed with me today? For once?' he asks her. Ruhee's eyes widen at his request. She looks around, wondering what to do. She signs and looks at him, 'Sure.' she says and Aayan looks at her surprised. He analysis her face, trying to find any discomfort but he finds none. He nods his head and let's go of her hand.
He moves back on the bed and puts his legs under the duvet, while Ruhee walks to the other side of the bed and does the same. They look at each other and leave a nervous laugh. They both lay down straight on the bed, staring at the ceiling, both of them, anxious, 'Goodnight.' Ruhee says, after sometime and turns to her side and closes her eyes. She hears a soft "goodnight" just before sleep engulfs her.
The next morning, Ruhee tries to pull her pillow closer to her, but it doesn't budge. She tries to pull harder which causes the pillow to slightly move. She frowns at her misbehaving pillow and opens her eyes to see black. Ruhee's eyes widen in fear.
Have I gone blind overnight?
She looks up, to see a sleeping Aayan. She was surprised at first, but then, saw how peacefully he was sleeping. She had never seen his face so up close before and she couldn't help but admire him. The small strands of hair that fell on his forehead, to his closed eyes and lashes, that were not too long or too short, just perfect. To his sharp nose and not so chubby cheeks. His straight lips and his styled beard. Over all, he was a handsome man. She smiled at him but suddenly, something struck her mind.
Where is my pillow?
She looks at her hand, with which she assumed she was pulling her pillow, to find it around Aayan's waist. Her heartbeat picked up. She then noticed that she was not laying her head on a pillow, but Aayan's arm which was under her head. Her heartbeat increased some more. She moved her hand away from his waist and got up, but felt a weight on her hip. She looked at it, to find Aayan's arm around her. Her heartbeat was running a marathon by now. She slowly moved Aayan's arm from around her waist, careful not to wake him up. She successfully moved his arm and placed it on the bed, she carefully got off the bed and rushed into the closet. She leaned on the closet door as she held her heart, which was planning to kill her by winning the marathon.
It would have been so embarrassing if he was awake.
Ruhee was now setting the table for breakfast while Sahma was helping her. Aayan walked down and wished everyone and sat on his seat, ready to eat. Ruhee avoided eye contact and sat on her seat. In between the meal, Sahma asked Aayan, 'Did you sleep well last night?' Ruhee choked on her food and started coughing, she drank some water and apologized as she felt like she interrupted their conversation, 'Yes, Ammi. In fact, I slept peacefully after a long time.' Aayan said, and Ruhee's face heated up. She looked at Aayan, to find him looking back at her with a smile. She cleared her throat and looked away.
Is he teasing me?
After breakfast, Aayan went back to his room to do some office work. Ruhee was cleaning the table, when she heard Sahma say, 'I think he is still down because of that incident. Did he talk to you about it?' Sahma asked her and Ruhee denied. She didn't want to tell his mother what he himself hasn't told her, that would be wrong and it would hurt her aswell. Sahma signed, 'I wish I could do something to cheer him up.' she said worried and walked to the living room.
This got Ruhee thinking. Aayan has really been down, and she thinks last night wouldn't completely help. She gets thinking of a way to cheer him up when an idea strikes her. A devilsh smile grazes her lips.
This is sure to cheer him up.
She picks up her mobile that was kept on the table and dials a number. She places the mobile near her ear, waiting for the caller to pick up.
I am gonna need some money, and he earns enough to give me.