“So how are you and the boyfriend?” Kale asked with a smug smile as he flopped down onto the bed next to me.
“Jakeson and I are doing quite wonderful, Thank you.” I responded. I tried not to notice how close he was but I couldn’t help it. All I would have had to do is scoot but two inches and we’d be touching. No. Don’t think about that. I scolded myself.
Kale lay silently beside me. Do something. I thought desperately. I didn’t want to be alone relaxing on my bed with Kale. I didn’t want to be alone with him in any circumstance that I’d start thinking about how his hands felt on me… Oh there I go again. I thought angrily. So I turned to look at him, trying to see what it was he was waiting for.
His eyes met mine and I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. I never could. “Let’s go running. I’m bored.” he announced quickly pulling his body away from mine as though I’d just shocked him.
“Sure thing.” I agreed enthusiastically, glad to be away from him for a moment. I jumped up and ducked into the bathroom and changing into some running clothes. When I emerged from my bathroom Kale was waiting by my bed for me. As was now a habit I snatched up my phone and tossed it to him.
Kale put it into his pocket and I followed him down the stairs. “Who’s turn is it to choose?” he asked as we started to jog down the driveway.
“Yours.” I replied.
I fell back a little so I was behind him by a few strides. I followed Kale as he took turn after turn. Wonder where he’s going to pick.
We ran at a quick smooth pace for what seemed like forever before Kale looked back over his shoulder at me and jerked his head towards the tree line. Seriously? I followed him closely not wanting to get lost as we entered the trees. He didn’t seem to mind the closeness and I was glad he had no obnoxious comments to make about it.
For a few minutes we weaved through the trees, smiles on our faces as he pointed the direction we were going and we began to race there. We’d jump over branches in perfect unison, laughing as we had to weave through trees. As we broke into a clearing we both slowed our running to a stop. I looked over at Kale, setting my hands on my knees as I panted. He grinned back in the same position I was. “Look up.” he got out between pants.
I followed the motion of his nodding head and my breath caught in my throat. “Wow.” I finally breathed catching my breath as a smile came to Kale’s face. A huge cliff side towered into the air. It looked so random and out of place. The tall trees barely reaching the tiniest bit up the side. It reached straight up and into the sky. If I didn’t know it was impossible I would have sworn it went on forever.
“I used to come running out here all the time.” he explained, pleased at my expression. In a swift movement he grabbed my hand and pulled me onwards. I followed a step behind stumbling dumbly still awestruck at the towering Cliffside. “It’s where I broke my first bone trying to get to the top.” he said with a beaming smile to me as he came to a stop and wrapped his hands around my waist. Before I could protest he lifted me up by my waist and set me on top of a large rock.
I grabbed onto the Cliffside and steadied myself, staring straight up at the towering rocks above in utter awe. My eyes found their way to him as he climbed onto the rock beside me and we had to press against the rock wall to fit. I watched him and the faraway gleam in his eyes as he stared upwards at the cliff made me smile. So he is human. “Why don’t you come out here anymore?” I finally asked when his eyes met mine, the nostalgic gleam still in them.
After a long breath, as though thinking, he answered, “No time. Football. School. Girls. Friends.”
“Why don’t you bring your friends out here?” I asked, stunned by the feel of it all. It made me feel so small, yet like I was a part of it all.
“It’s kind of a personal place.” he admitted and I looked to him again. “Never had anyone I wanted to share it with before.”
My heart thudded in my chest. “You brought me.” I found myself saying before I could stop myself. I wasn’t sure if it was a statement or a question.
Kale avoided my eyes and jumped down from the large rock. “Yeah, I did.” he said finally as he offered his hands up for me. “Jump I’ll catch you.” he commanded with his arms open. He will catch me. my mind agreed and I nervously gave a little jump off of the large rock.
Sure enough his arms wrapped around me, holding me close. My breath caught in my throat and I realized that I, the girl who hated being picked up, had just willing jumped into his arms. “We should come out here more often.” I finally squeaked out, looking away from him.
“You like it?” he asked softly, his mouth so close to my ear I could feel his hot breath tickle my skin.
I nodded and managed to mumble a, “Yeah.” I need distance now. I realized as I felt too comfortable in his warm strong arms. I shifted and he took the hint, setting me down on the safe ground. I steadied myself and busied myself with straightening out my shirt.
“Come on.” He said after a moment, giving me a mischievous smile as he grabbed my wrist and pulled me forward. I came willingly. I was glad for the distraction. “Duck.” He said and I obeyed. We walked beneath an overhang in the rock and into a dark cave. “Follow me.” he instructed as he released my wrist. Again I obeyed wordlessly.
The sound of my footsteps echoed in the dark cave as the light faded behind us. “I don’t want to get lost.” I breathed nervously as he lead me in deeper the darkness surrounding us. “I doubt my phone gets reception under a couple hundred tons of earth.”
“I won’t let you get lost.” he said and I found myself believing him. “Just stay close. I know these tunnels like the back of my hand.” he assured me.
I ran right into his back as he stopped unexpectedly in front of me. Unable to stop myself I tumbled backwards onto the cold damp ground of the cave. “Jerk.” I mumbled trying to get to my feet, thinking he’d done it on purpose. As I reached out to try and find something to hoist myself up with I realized I couldn’t see at all. My breath caught in my throat and my breathing picked up. What if he’s trying to get me lost on purpose?! I wondered terrified as my hands reached forward into dark nothingness.
“Calm down.” Kale’s voice came, surprisingly soft as my hands bumped into the back of his calves. “I’m right here.” he breathed, helping me to my feet as his hands wrapped around mine.
I wasn’t even shy about pressing myself up against his back as I tried to even my breathing. “I can’t see a thing. What if we get lost in here?”
“I know my way around by counting paces.” he answered, his voice unusually soothing.
“Really?”
“Yes.” for a moment there was silence which he finally broke by muttering, “Go ahead make fun of me.”
Instead I smiled, shaking my head against his back as I clung to it for support. “No, that’s actually pretty cool.” I admitted. “Though I have to say, I never took you as an outdoors type.”
He chuckled. “Yeah well I’m full of surprises.” He turned around and I instantly released him, taking a stumbling step backwards embarrassed I’d clung to him. Instead of mocking me he reached out and his hand wrapped around mine. I squinted up at him able to barely make out his shape. “Come on it’s just up ahead. Stay close.” He pulled me up to his side keeping his hand around mine.
“Where exactly are we going?” I asked quietly the words echoing softly. I didn’t even mind how close we were anymore. His hand around mine was the only thing keeping me from getting lost. The strong grip he had on me calmed my nerves considerably and I found myself relaxing.
“You’ll see.” he whispered, his voice soft and close to my ear with how close I had to walk beside him.
We walked for a bit taking a few turns before Kale came to a stop again. “We’re not lost are we?” I asked worried as he stood there silently.
“No.” he said after a long moment. I could hear hesitation in his voice as he let go of my hand and I couldn’t help but feel vulnerable. If he were to leave right now I’d be lost. He better not that asshole. I listened hard for his retreating footsteps.
Instead all that came was his voice as he said- “Let’s just hope it still- ah here it is.”
Light flooded the cave and I snapped my eyes shut. The light stung and he laughed with me at how much it had hurt as we slowly opened our eyes, giving squinty eyed smiles at each other. “I feel a lot better now that I can see.” I admitted.
“I’m just glad this light is still here and working.” he said looking down at the heavy duty flashlight he held in his hands.
Butterflies tingled my stomach with how glad I was I could see him and I decided to busy myself with looking around at where we were. “It’s beautiful.” I breathed slowly, my mouth literally falling open.
A small pond with beautiful rocks jutting from the ground around it was what met my eyes. It looked like a prehistoric piece of art. My eyes landed on where Kale stood near the edge of the underground pond looking down into the dark deep water. “I’ve never gotten up the nerve to see how deep it is.” He said giving me a small smile as he noticed I was watching him.
I nodded stunned for what to stay. For a long time I just stood still looking around at the amazing underground tunnel. The natural rough beauty was breathtaking. Finally I found the will to move and took a seat on one of the larger rocks against the cave wall. “This place is so beautiful.” I said again as I noticed Kale’s eyes had been on me.
“I know. It’s always calmed me down” Kale agreed as he laid down beside the dark pool of water looking up at me.
My eyes scanned him slowly. I didn’t care if he saw. Laying there with his chest slowly heaving, his shirt slightly damp with sweat from our run, he looked so at peace. “How did you have the time to memorize the way here?” I asked when I finally peeled my eyes away from him.
“When my mom and I used to get into fights I’d come out here. I spent hours and hours in this cave just exploring. I didn’t have any place else to go.” he explained, his eyes closing. “I’d spend nights here sometimes. Sitting alone just thinking. It was the only place I felt happy.”
This is the first time I’ve ever heard him mention his mom. I realized. The look on his face told me not to ask about her so instead I asked, “What about your friends houses?”
“I was homeschooled until highschool. I didn’t know anyone my age but my cousins.”
I nodded. I did remember Michael saying something of the sort. I’d never met any of the cousins yet but I was assured I would at the wedding. “That must have been hard coming to highschool.” I breathed trying to picture a homeschooled Kale walking into that busy highschool. Was he as terrified as I had been my first day?
“I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately and I think that’s why I turned out the way I did.” Kale sat up slowly and looked down into the water. “It wasn’t hard.” he dipped his fingertips into the water. “It was so easy for me. Meeting new people and getting new friends. When I wanted something I would find a way to get it. Eventually I stopped seeing the point in trying. Things just came to me when I wanted it, I didn’t have to do anything for it.”
I nodded. Makes sense in a weird way.
“Like girls. I was new. I had money. I was attractive. I was wanted.” He chuckled and shook his head slowly, his face looking oddly sad. “I loved it. All I had to do was turn on a little charm and I’d have them. But they were all so boring.”
“I’m sure some were interesting?” I pushed wanting to cheer him up.
He shook his head again and sighed. “No. They wanted what I wanted. Where is the fun in that?”
Kale went quiet and looked as though he was in thought. What do I say? I wondered as I watched him with new eyes. I knew that he was a person too. But I’d forgotten just how he’d had to grow up. “What happened to your mom?” I asked unable to hold in the question anymore.
“End of eighth grade my mom left for the summer like she always did. Only at the end of the summer she didn’t come back. Instead my dad showed up surprised I was still home. He cancelled his France tour to stay home with me.”
The hurt look in his eyes disappeared within a blink of my eyes but I knew I had seen it. “But that doesn’t matter now.”
I climbed off of the rock and sat beside him. “That must have hurt so much.” I breathed as I rested my hand on his shoulder gently.
Kale looked up at me for a moment then looked away. “So you and Jakeson are pretty serious huh?”
“I guess. I don’t know.” I mumbled not sure how to respond.
We fell silent for a long while just taking in the surroundings of the cave. It was so rugged, so imperfect with how the rocks jutted and the ground rose, but the imperfections made it completely amazing. How nature could make such a simple yet complex structure and then keep it hidden from eyes baffled me.
“I brought you here for a reason.”
I looked over at Kale and our eyes met. “And that is?”
“To talk. I needed to find a place you wouldn’t run away from me.” He said softly. “You’re always running from me.”
I didn’t know how to respond and instead remained quiet.
“You kissed me back.” his solemn voice suddenly filled the quiet air of the cave.
“What?” I asked looking back over at him.
“Tell me that you kissed me back. That day in the photo room. That day I kissed you. You kissed me back didn’t you?”
“Kale I-“
“Please just answer.” He cut me off.
“Yes.” I looked away. I didn’t want to lie to him. He already knew that I had. It had been annoyingly obvious. I’d kissed him back and that was that.
“Why?” he asked and I couldn’t bear to look at him. Why does he have to know?
“Because. . . because it didn’t feel like you were just toying with me at the time.” I admitted quietly. I run so I won’t get hurt.
For a long moment he was quiet except for his soft breathing. I wondered if he was smirking at me now. Or was he ready to break out laughing? Instead he responded with a slow, “I wasn’t toying with you.”
I groaned. It wasn’t what I’d expected. “See you say that and then the next time we fight-“
“I think I love you.”
The words caught me by surprise and I looked over at him. He’s got to be kidding me. “Kale-“ I started to say, desperate to get him to stop trying to mess with me.
“I can’t get you out of my head.” he interrupted me, his voice coming out roughly. “Every time I see you with another guy it replays in my head again and again. How everyone else can make you smile so easily and it seems more often then not I’m making you hurt.”
“Don’t.” I breathed looking away. He can’t love me. He’s my stepbrother.
“Everything I see makes me think of you. I tried other girls. Believe me I did.” he gave a dry low laugh. I could feel his eyes boring into me. “But even when I’d have sex with them it didn’t feel like. . . it just. . . it didn’t feel as good as when I kissed you.”
I shook my head furiously. I couldn’t believe he’d honestly brought me here for this. I had no where I could go to avoid his words or his eyes as they focused solely on me. “Kale stop.” I can’t be hearing this.
“I’ve thought about it again and again. Why you? And I can’t come up with a single reason why not you.”
“Kale I’m your step sister.” I instantly responded.
“I know.” his voice came quick and flat. “I’ve told myself that a million times. You don’t know how many nights I sat up repeating that in my mind.” He groaned. I didn’t know what to say so I remained silent. “Did you feel anything? At all? When we kissed. . .”
Yes. “No.”
“Why can’t you just talk to me Rein? Why can’t you tell me the truth?” he demanded, his voice raw with emotions I couldn’t even read.
“I am.” I insisted knowing full well that I wasn’t. I’d felt alive with that stupid kiss. I’d felt like it was right. That I was happy and could do whatever I wanted. I’d felt needed. But I couldn’t very well tell him that. I had to be the rational one and be the voice of reason no matter how badly my body was disagreeing.
“I don’t think you are.” He looked away from me and I turned my eyes to the ceiling. I let out a surprised yelp as he pushed me down and rolled on top of me.
“Kale-“ I breathed taking a sharp intake of breath as his full weight pushed me against the cold cave floor.
“Give me a chance.” He cut me off and lowered his lips to mine.
The kiss was surprisingly gentle compared to his rough movements but my heart began to pound. I can’t do this. My mind scolded me. But I can’t stop. I laid beineath him unable to move away but not allowing myself to kiss him back.
Kale pulled his mouth from mine and looked down at me. “Tell me you didn’t feel that. Tell me there was nothing there and I will take you home and we’ll never bring it up again.”
I turned my head to the side and looked away. I couldn’t lie to him. Not with him so close. His hot breath washing over my face. “I don’t need to get hurt.” I said in a light whisper.
“I won’t hurt you again. Ever.”
“You can say that all you want but come Monday you will be all over another girl. I’m not some toy.” I retorted my eyes narrowing. Maybe if I get mad he’ll back off?
Kale’s hand rested on my chin and he turned me to look at him. “I don’t want some toy. I want you, only you.” his voice came so soft my heart pattered slowly.
“I want you too.” The words left my mouth before I could stop to think about it.
He lowered his mouth kissing me passionately and I kissed him back freely this time, unable to control myself. Kale’s lips hungrily devoured mine and he nibbled against my lower lip for entrance. I granted him it without a second thought and our tongues began to play with each others.
We kissed until I thought I’d burst from the urge to just grab him and run my fingers all over him. Sensing the same pulsing passion he began to touch me, his fingers tracing up and down my thigh sending shivers up my back.
As I took in a deep breath he pulled his mouth from mine and lowered it quickly to my neck. I inhaled, my heart beating madly as he began to slowly kiss down my chest. I gave a shaky breath as his hands inched up and under my shirt. His sharp panting rang out against the cave walls as he hitched my shirt up and finally over my head. I willingly allowed him to my own breathing panting and erratic. I want him I thought hungrily as I stared up towards his face.
He tore his eyes away from scanning my chest and instead met mine. “You’re so beautiful.” Kale breathed gently as he stooped forward and kissed me again. Warm and firm his hands traced up and down my hips until finally gliding over my breasts. I held in a breath as he deepened the kiss further.
I ran my hands up his strong sturdy back and slowly pulled his shirt over and off of his head, breaking the kiss. His body is perfect. I thought, my eyes scanning every inch of his skin as I traced my hand up and down along his smooth abs before he leaned in and kissed me again.
I raised my leg and rolled so I was on top of him, receiving no resistance on his part. I gave him a nervous smile as I stared down at him, straddling his waist. “Beautiful.” he breathed again, his hands gliding up my thighs towards my hips as he pulled me forward towards him. I eagerly lowered my mouth to his and kissed him deeply my tongue playing with his as though it was meant to be.
I let my instincts take over doing what I had always wanted to do, and loving every moment of it.
Tonight (I'm Fucking You) - Enrique Iglesias
[[ Salutations Readers ~ *takes a deep breath* That was a long chapter ey? *lets it out and hides from the people who hated it* ~ Jade ]]