Micheal didn't pay attention to anything in class, he couldn't if he had tried. Usually his lack of attention showed in doodles in his notebook, but this time his lack of attention showed in just mindless staring more often than not. Adrian couldn't help but notice how comparable to how Micheal was today to Ryan's usual aloofness, and Adrian knew it would be mentioned at lunch. At the end of first hour, Adrian double checked that Micheal would be okay and told Micheal to text him if he needed to for any reason. Micheal reassured Adrian that he would be okay and agreed to text if he needed to.
The rest of his morning classes were foggy and Micheal couldn't remember them as he sat down at lunch. Ending up in between Adrian and Braxton. Braxton smiled at him softly, and upon noticing Micheal smiled back softly. "You okay Mike?" Ryan asked softly.
"Yeah... I think..." Micheal said softly.
Ryan smiled softly, "Alright."
"Ryan, can we..." Micheal looked around some, "can we go talk?"
"Yeah. We can sit in the hall and talk," Ryan said, "Just us?" Micheal nodded and then checked to make sure Adrian and Braxton were okay with it. Of course, neither minded and wanted Micheal to talk with Ryan as Ryan likely had the best idea of what was going on. Ryan carefully led Micheal out and got Micheal to sit down in the hallway.
"Ryan... I feel... odd."
"Can you explain more?" Ryan asked, "I don't want to lead you to an incorrect answer."
Micheal nodded softly, "I don't remember much of my first few hours. I don't feel... anything. I don't feel real."
"Micheal, you trust me right?" Ryan asked. Micheal nodded. "Alright, I'm going to pinch your arm okay? It won't hurt that bad but if you think it should hurt more than it should, let me know okay?" Micheal nodded again. Ryan pinched Micheal's arm.
"I feel it..."
"Does it hurt?"
"Not really no," Micheal said.
Ryan looked at Micheal, "You're okay, don't think you're sick. You're probably dissociating is all. Derealization I think. The lack of feeling and feeling fact tend to be derealization. We can probably work you out of it if you'd like." Micheal nodded some. Ryan smiled very softly. "We're going to try some grounding techniques. I don't know what ones will work well for you, but we can try a few okay?"
Micheal nodded again. "Alright," Ryan said, "I'll need my bag though. Want me to have Braxton bring it or someone else?"
"Gabe... please?" Micheal asks quietly.
Ryan smiled, "Alright." Ryan texted Gabe to bring his bag and waited. Gabe walked over and set Ryan's bag by him.
"You guys are okay right?" Gabe asked.
"Yeah," Ryan said, "Dissociation most likely. Go back to Salem okay?"
"Okay," Gabe said. He smiles softly at Micheal before walking back into the lunch room.
Ryan unzipped his backpack and started looking for something. He eventually pulled out a fidget cube, but it wasn't normal. Ryan had modified it in some ways, adding some different textures on some of the things. "Is that Adrian's hoodie?"
"Yeah," Micheal said softly, "Why?"
"Focus on the scent of it, focusing on senses helps with grounding," Ryan said, he handed the fidget cube to Micheal. "And mess with this. The different textures should help. If that doesn't work we can try something else okay Mikey?" Micheal smiled softly and nodded. The nickname Mikey was one that hadn't been used in a while. When they were younger, it was what all of his friends called him. As they got older everyone switched to Mike, but Ryan would occasionally use Mikey in a teasing way or to comfort Micheal.
Micheal focused on the scent of Adrian's hoodie and the textures of the fidget cube. "When did you make this?"
"My old therapist made it for me actually," Ryan said, "Shortly after I got put in the system. Do you have an estimate of how long you've been out of it?"
"Maybe since texting the group chat last night," Micheal said, not really looking at Ryan but instead focusing on the small cube in his hands.
Ryan nodded gently, "What did you remember?"
"Why do you want to know?"
"I want to understand you better. I'll tell you some about what I know about my childhood."
"It wasn't much... I heard a door open and told Leanna to go upstairs, she was young. My parents walked in... but they were high... or maybe drunk. I was hit... my hair was pulled..."
Ryan gently rubbed Micheal's arm, a comforting motion. "My mom never hurt me. She didn't stop it though, she left a lot. My dad would try to beat her... I didn't want my mama hurt so I got in the way a lot."
"Even when that young you were protective," Micheal said, looking at Ryan. "That's so sweet."
"You always have been too." Micheal nodded and clearly had started to come back to the forefront of his mind, and Ryan smiled softly. "Feeling better?" Ryan asked.
Micheal nodded, "Much better."
"Wanna go back to your boyfriends?"
"One is my fiance actually," Micheal said, "but... yeah." Ryan stood up and carefully helped Micheal up.
"Keep the fidget cube by the way," Ryan said.
Micheal paused, "Are you sure Ry?"
"Absolutely," Ryan said, "it never helped me much. I have other stim toys for myself so keep that one."
"Thanks Ry..."
"You're welcome. Come on, let's go on in," Ryan said, pulling his bag onto his shoulders. The two walked back in and the other's seemed slightly surprised that Ryan managed to pull Micheal back to his mind. It didn't fix everything, Micheal was still clearly uncomfortable with what he remembered and didn't quite want to talk about it still. Micheal sat down between Adrian and Braxton again.
Salem looked at Ryan, "You're more of a witch than I am."
"I just did what I had wished someone did for me when I first dissociated," Ryan said, "He might dissociate more... especially if he has flashbacks more often..."
Braxton looked at Ryan, "Later on you need to teach us what to do, for both you and Mike... We care about you guys." Micheal smiled, his head resting on Braxton's shoulder, and holding Adrian's hand. Jaxson was doing something on his phone, and whenever Levi caught sight of what Jaxson was doing he snickered.
Lucas looked at Jaxson and Levi, "What are you two doing?"
Jaxson jumped and hid his phone quickly, "Absolutely nothing."
"Your phone was pointed at Addy, Brax, and Mike and you were doing nothing?" Maddox asked. "Bullshit show me." Jaxson showed his phone to Maddox and then whispered something. "Oh, guys. Seriously, don't worry about it. He is planning something, yes. But it's actually good and not arson for once. Let him be."
"Fine," Lucas said, "You better tell me later though Jaxson Reed."
"What is with you and last names Luc?" Braxton asked, "Why do that?"
Lucas shrugged some, "It unnerves you all and I enjoy that."
"My last name just makes me seem even more like a faery, go ahead Lucy. Do it," Salem said.
"It does have a fae vibe to it," Austin said. That was another thing that none of them hadn't really noticed. Austin was talking more. He seemed happier. Lunch eventually ended soon, and everyone went off to their classes. Micheal was able to not pay attention the way he usually would, doodling. A decent amount of hearts and the usual snake scales that Micheal always draws. Micheal frankly doesn't know when or why he draws snake scales so much, he doesn't really draw most the time, but scales were nice.
The rest of the day went by smoothly for Micheal, and from their laughs and smiles at the end of the day, so did all of his friends. Micheal walked over to the group and smiled. "We're headed to my house," Levi said, "because Braxton is a bitch and is bored of us being at his house."
"I'll kill you fish," Braxton said.
Levi looked at Braxton, "bro chill." Braxton rolled his eyes. The group set off for Levi's house. Although half of them had never seen the place before, they did know some. Mostly that Levi's two dads stay out most the time. Levi ended up scratching at his face again.
"Lee," Jaxson said, "You're okay. Calm down."
"I know," Levi said, "I just know that Salem plans to search my room."
Salem nodded, "Yeah since I haven't been over since you decided that heroin was a nice blood transfusion."
"You have a point," Levi said.
"So why does me searching your room make you nervous Levi?"
"Because you're gunna be pissed."
"I'm always pissed at you."
"Yeah it's going to get worse," Levi said. Jaxson glared at Levi and whispered something to him. "..I can neither confirm nor deny that Jaxson."
Jaxson looked at Levi, "I will not hit you. However, when they find out I will not stop whoever decides to hit you."
Levi let out a nervous chuckle and unlocked his front door and walked in, he went to the living room and sat on the couch. "Salem, let me remind you that I do love you like a brother."
Salem hummed some and began to walk upstairs, "IF I FIND SO MUCH AS ONE SYRINGE IN THERE LEVI YOU'LL BE WORSE OFF THAN ADRIAN!"
"So Adrian," Levi said, looking over towards him, "Got an extra pair of crutches because if Salem stays true to his statement, I might need them."
Adrian sighed softly, "Why do you have those Levi?"
"I think you already know," Levi said looking down at his hands.
Adrian nearly glared at Levi, "You can't keep doing this Levi!"
"And what am I supposed to do?! I can't just walk away! You know damn well it isn't that simple."
"Let us fucking help you!" Adrian shouted back.
Levi looked off, "I don't need you guys hurt."
"We're getting hurt anyways!" Maddox protested, "It doesn't fucking matter! You're our friend Levi!"
"I can't just leave this time..." Levi said, "Things got... more complicated."
Adrian looked at Levi for a moment, "You didn't... Levi how did you even manage to do something like that! You're 16!"
"...It's called acting," Levi said calmly, "If they don't view me as weak then they don't worry about it. You know all about that don't you Adrian."
"Levi, this isn't about me!" Adrian said, "I haven't gotten in that deep!"
Levi sighed, "I'm safer now than before though. No one messes with the person in charge."
"Until a rival plugs a bullet into you!"
"I don't make enemies!"
"You said you'd stop," Jaxson said quietly, "You came to me, and said you'd stop. You told me you had to tie up loose ends, but it wouldn't be long. You said that you wouldn't hurt someone again, you wouldn't sell again, you wouldn't smoke again."
"I haven't smoked," Levi said softly.
"You've been selling though."
"When?" Braxton asked, "When have you had time?"
"Have I ever been the one to sleep?" Levi asked simply.
Adrian sighed, "Levi do you realize how dangerous this is? How much you're risking? Because it's not just you you've put at risk now. All of us are in danger as well since just about everyone knows how close we are."
"It's not that simple!" Levi said, "There's more to do... I... I can't just... leave. I can't just leave them!"
"Who is them?" Salem asked walking back down.
"Friends," Levi said softly.
"You mean gang members?" Salem asked.
"No!" Levi said quickly, "I... I mean friends. I... it's not like I'm running with 20 something year old murders... I'm not that dumb..."
Salem looked at Levi, "Who are they then? You know that me and Adrian know everyone on our side of town. So who are they?"
"There's uh... there's Seb... and Jezzy, and um... Kal."
"Those are fake names or nicknames Levi," Adrian said, "What are their real names?"
Levi sighed, "Sebastian... Jasmine... and Kaleb."
Adrian paused, "I don't know anyone with those names..."
"Yeah me neither."
"Wait hold up," Gabe said sitting up, "Jasmine usually goes by Jez or Jezzy?"
"Yeah... why?" Levi asked.
Gabe sighed and mumbled something, "Jez is... an old friend lets say..."
"An ex?"
"No," Gabe said, "Never dated a girl and don't plan on it... but definitely an old friend." Gabe looked at Salem and Adrian, "Guys... I know this will sound... dumb. But leave him be. If Jez is there then trust me... He's safe. Those people aren't going to be hurting him. Although Levi... make sure that your friends meet them. Just so that Brax and Adrian don't commit self homicide."
Levi's hands were shaking, "If you guys really want to meet them... I can invite them over... they are nice people... pretty happy..."
"Are they going to feel safe?" Gabe asked.
"They know I'd never let someone hurt them..."
"Text them," Salem said. "I wanna meet them." Levi nodded softly and pulled out his phone. Texting his other friends quickly.
"They'll be here soon..." Levi said, "They don't go far."
"Do they live nearby?" Lucas asked.
Levi shrugged, "You could say that..." Levi didn't lie. They sat in silence for six or seven minutes before there was a knock on the door. "You don't have to knock Kal. We've talked about this." Kal opened the door, Jezzy and Seb by his side, and shrugged softly. Look at the three, they didn't look like they'd be gang members. Jezzy was the only girl, and her yellow shirt and pale blue jeans complimented a nice smile. Kal had more of a darker style, mostly dark green and black. Beyond that though, he didn't stand out in a crowd. Seb blended in even more, just wearing any old shirt and jeans.
"What did you need Levi?" Jezzy asked, "and who are these guys?"
"My friends I talk about," Levi said, "I'm in trouble and they wanted to meet you all. Please don't make them hate me."
"I would never!" Jezzy said.
"I know Jez."
Gabe was looking at Jez, "You know, I didn't think you'd change so much in 5 years." Jez looked from Levi to Gabe and smiled widely.
"GABE!" Jez shouted before running over and hugging Gabe. Gabe smiled and hugged her back. "I didn't know you were Levi's friend!"
"It's a new thing."
"I'm surprised you and him get along," Jez said, "he seems... very atheist compared to you."
"I'm actually pagan now."
Jez smiled, "That's so cool! I looked into that stuff but it seems so complicated that I don't think I could handle it." Micheal looked at Salem, asking if he had any clue what was going on there. Salem shrugged himself. "Oh wait," Jez said, letting go of Gabe and waving to the others. "Hey! I'm Jezzy!"
Levi chuckled lightly, "Kal is the emo and Seb looks like every background character in every high school movie ever." Kal smiled softly. "These are my... 'gang members' per say."
"I don't think we class as a gang," Seb said, "More so three kids indebted to you. But sure Levi, do what you want."
"Indebted?" Jez said, "No.. I wouldn't say indebted. Just... repaying a favor."
"That's what indebted means Jezzy," Seb said.
"Indebted means that we made an agreement about it though," Jez said, "It also implies that Levi asked for our help. It's more so he cannot get rid of us if he tried."
"If I got rid of you guys you'd end up dead," Levi said, rolling his eyes some. "By the way," Levi said before running through introductions for everyone. "Jax is my boyfriend."
Jez smiled widely, "That's so cute!!"
Salem looked at Levi, "How do you keep up with her?"
"We don't," Levi said, "We force her to slow down for us. Mostly Kal since he's fucking lazy." Kal shrugged some neither confirming nor denying the statement. "Yeah Kal doesn't talk really so don't expect him to."
"I've heard him say maybe about 10 words," Jez said, "You get used to it."
"No you don't," Seb said.
Gabe was smiling happily, he clearly cared a lot about Jez. But that led to one main question for him, "Jez why'd you disappear?"
"Disappear?" Jez asked, "Oh! My parents did a double suicide and I ended up on the streets."
Gabe paused, "What?"
"Yeah," Jez sighed, "It's alright though! It's a lot better than never doing anything for myself ya know? Now everything I do is completely my choice."
"Shouldn't you be... in foster care or something?"
"Probably, but I don't really care. I have money so why not just... Live my life. It's how it's been the whole time... Well now I have Seb, Kal, and Lee too, but they are nice! Like brothers who protect me." After that everyone understood Levi's protests to leaving that life behind more now. Jez clearly showed that she wouldn't do anything to get off the streets, but Levi wouldn't leave her unprotected.
Salem looked at Levi, "I'm sorry."
"It's okay," Levi said, "You didn't know."
Jez looked at Salem, studying him quickly, "Oooh, you're the one guy." Jez then looked around the room, and Levi could tell she was connecting the dots of the nicknames Levi used for his friends to the friends. "...Levi you're bad at coming up with unobvious nicknames."
"...Do I want to know what he calls us?" Zeek asked.
Jez looked at Zeek and paused for a moment, "Um... well Salem was always called Witch or Crystal, you got nicknamed Chef. Adrian was called Crip, and Maddox was Gamer. He didn't like using your names."
"If I had used their names would you have hunted them down?" Levi asked.
Jez giggled, "Probably."
"Exactly."
Jez was looking around the room again, studying everyone, "Wow... You all are codependent. You're all so cute though!"
"Jez stop flirting," Seb said, "You know most of them are gay."
"I wasn-.. I wasn't flirting!" Jez protested, "They are just cute! Cute doesn't mean flirting. If I said hot or sexy then I'd be flirting! With how cuddled together most of them are I can tell they are gay!"
Levi sighed, "Seb you offended her."
"You can offend Jez by coughing in her direction," Seb said.
Jez looked at Seb, "I'll eat your jugular."
"Good to know you haven't changed," Gabe said.
"Aww," Jez giggled, "You're so sweet Gabe!"
"She has so much energy and I am envious," Austin said.
Jez looked at Austin and smiled, "Thank you! It's the existential dread!"
"Jez," Levi sighed, "Could you like not?"
"You're no fun."
"Good."
"Bully," Jez said, crossing her arms across her chest.