So many smiles. I thought awkwardly as I looked back and forth from my mom to Michael.
"So how was football practice Kale?" my mom asked, breaking the silence and giving him a sweet smile.
She is so happy with him. I watched as my mom laughed happily, her eyes shining as her Kale and Michael talked.
It was weeks from the wedding. Five weeks to be exact. I had gotten used to eating with the family now. The family. It felt so weird to think of them that way. Yet there they were before me eating and smiling. It was like it'd never been any other way.
My eyes drifted to Kale who noticed my gaze and smiled over his glass towards me as he took a drink. I returned it with a half assed one. Even Kale and I had been getting along. He'd taken to acting like a normal person around me again. No more trying to annoy me with sexual advances. Just Kale; my step brother to be. My gut lurched unhappily.
"So Jakeson, Rein tells us you just got accepted into McIntire School of Commerce?" Michael asked as he finished off his steak causing me to snap from my mind. Did I really tell them that? I don't remember saying anything about it. I wondered.
"Yessir. I'm starting once this school year ends." Jakeson confirmed as I looked over at where he sat beside me. No Sunday night family dinner was complete without my trustworthy boyfriend. I held in a personal grimace. I didn't even know why I was unhappy.
"Isn't that all the way in Virginia?" my mom asked.
He nodded. "Yeah it is, but I'm working it out." He glanced over at me, his perfect blue eyes catching mine.
I gave him a weak smile. "You still have eight months." I pointed out. Suddenly the normal dinner felt increasingly awkward. My mother loved Jakeson. Michael seemed indifferent along with Kale. They just sat and asked random questions. I wasn't sure if they were getting to know him better or interrogating him. Maybe a bit of both?
As I finished my food the look of 'save me' that Jakeson shot my way as Michael began to ask him about the details of how soon he'd be moving after senior year caused me to decide enough was enough. "Please excuse me." I said as I got up from the table, leaving behind my plate. Jakeson excused himself as well and together we walked into the living room.
Time has gone by so quickly. I closed my eyes and ran my hands through my hair as I listened to Kale and Michael talk back and forth in the kitchen. So happy. I thought as I listened to the trio of them laughing. So oblivious that I don't belong. I didn't. I wasn't supposed to be sitting and having other people serve me while I make small talk with them. Every time I looked at Kale I was reminded of the stupid kiss that had made things bearable with us. That single kiss in the photo room where I'd kissed him back.
Ever since then he'd only acted out once or twice. Otherwise it was like we'd never had any rough or smooth patches together. After all we were just going to be related. No reason for there to be anything special. I don't like Kale. I reminded myself as I tried to shut out his perfect laughter.
"Are you okay?" Jakeson asked softly as he wrapped his arms around me from behind and rested his chin on my shoulder.
I nodded. "I'm fine." Am I? My heart did a little flip. Unlike Jakeson, who was a senior, I didn't have to worry about what I'd do when school ended this year. No, instead I had to worry about what would happen to us. It was so nice being a part of the us. It felt so warm and happy. No matter what happened I'd have his hand to hold.
He was like my knight in shining armor. Always able to read my moods and emotions perfectly. Sometimes I wondered just how he had managed to get so good at it.
But soon he'd be gone. Soon he'd be leaving for college. I'd be alone again.
"I don't have to go." He whispered in my ear almost as if he'd read my mind and I turned around to face him. "I can put college off a year and-"
"No." I gave him a smile and cuddled up against his strong chest. As much as I wanted him to stay and be mine I knew that wasn't fair. Even worse was a part of me... a part of me was glad he was going to be going. We'd been so close lately I wondered if I was growing weaker. Every day I was trying to see myself as an individual. But I wasn't anymore. I was just one of a pair now. I was known for being with Jakeson. He was mine.
My fierce tone had surprised him and I could tell from his heartbeat he was waiting for something more. But I couldn't explain. There was nothing else to say. I just couldn't have him staying. As much as I wanted to continue this I wasn't sure what I'd do with myself.
After a couple of moments I tilted my head up to look at him, worried I'd hurt his feelings. "You are so beautiful baby." he cooed out of the blue and smiled down at me softly. His rugged handsome features lightening just by looking at me.
I gave him another smile and pushed forward falling on top of the couch and onto him. "Oh I am?" I asked him softly as I lay on top of him, my head on his strong sturdy chest. For a long while I lay like that, just listening to his heartbeat. His arms had wound around me but other than that he didn't move. Do something. I thought frustrated.
But, being the same Jakeson that he'd always been, he didn't. He just held me to him happy with just that. Finally I snapped and decided I'd make the move. Just make the first one. He'll follow your lead. I told myself as I slowly shifted on top of him. I raised my body and hitched my legs on either side of him, straddling his waist as I looked down at him. "Well you're just irresistible." I whispered leaning forward and resting my mouth beside his ear.
I could hear him take in a sharp breath of air as he moved his hands. As though unsure wether he could or not he ran them up my calves to rest on my thighs. Happy that we'd made a little progress I pulled back and lowered my lips just above his. Warm and soft his breath tickled my face as I hovered my lips above his just about to touch.
A smile played across my lips as I heard his breathing pick up and his hands tighten around my thighs. That a boy. I thought, encouraging him in my mind as he rose his lips a little bit wanting them to touch mine. In a slow movement I kissed him pressing my soft lips against his. Instantly we deepened it kissing passionately. His tongue danced with mine. But that wasn't enough for me. So I nibbled at his bottom lip daring him to do something...anything.
Again he didn't take the initiative. So I growled gently into the kiss before pulling away. I have to make him do something. Fine then. I thought a little sourly to myself. I knew that he held the perfect compassion for me. I knew he was a great guy. I knew that he could be sexual and he did want me... yet he'd never do it. He'd never make the move. The slightly cocky boy I'd first met had melted like putty in my hands. He wasn't the same. He wasn't the one calling the shots. Not like Kale would be.
Thinking of Kale sparked an idea. In my stomach a little warmth tingled and I buried my mouth in Jakeson's neck. Like Kale had done to me I began to kiss at his neck. It turned me on when I didn't want it to it's got to work on him. Little did I know Kale had entered the room already, unsure how to respond to what he was seeing. But Jakeson saw him and his hesitation.
Suddenly as though my kisses had worked wonders he obliged my unspoken order and ran his right hand slowly over the curve of my hip, up my waist, over my breast and tangled his fingers in my hair.
Finally! I thought triumphantly. Once more I pressed my lips to his. Hungrily and forcefully he kissed back, pushing my mouth firmly against his as he moved my head slightly with his grasp on my hair.
My mind was in the moment and I forgot where we were. I pulled my mouth from his surfacing from the kiss. I smiled down at him gently nibbling on my bottom lip as my heart beat fast. Jakeson used his hold on my hair to force my mouth back to his. I returned the firey kiss and as I did he released my head and let his hand wander instead to my breast where he fondled it gently. There we go. I thought happily.
After a long moment I pulled away to look down into his eyes. I wanted to see his passion for me in his eyes. I needed to know that he did want me. As I looked down at him he moved his hand slowly, gliding it up from my breast to my chin. His thumb gently brushed against my cheek as he smiled softly up at me, his eyes twinkling.
Before I could get a read on anything in his emotions other than satisfaction a sharp "Ahem," rang through the air. I snapped my eyes over to see Kale standing in the doorway an annoyed look on his face.
"Sorry." I mumbled embarrassed as I looked back down at Jakeson and we both chuckled with a blush.
"Busted." Jakeson cooed before he gave me another small peck. His hands no longer hungrily reaching for me like they had been. Kale wouldn't have just backed down. I found myself thinking as I climbed from Jakeson. I was beyond a little disgruntled that I had to make all the moves. Jakeson's nothing like Kale. I admitted to myself as I leaned against Jakeson's chest.
He was oblivious to my dark mood. He was just happy to be with me. As always. Happy to just sit and do nothing. As long as I was his. I gave a little sigh not caring if her heard and looked over at Kale. His eyes met mine, instantly taking in my displeased look. I saw his eyes spark confusion as he tilted his head to read my expression further. But I turned quickly and busied myself with trying to look happy at Jakeson. He returned my look with a soft peck on my nose. No, he really is nothing like Kale.
Trying to escape Kale I'd gone with Jakeson. He'd been the perfect opposite. He'd been everything I needed. He was nothing that was right with me. By trying to find someone who wasn't at all like Kale I'd only made myself think even more about the boy I so desperately didn't want to like. Kale.
Waiting For Magic - Ace of Base