I stared out the car window. Watching Cavonte hold his little sister's hand and walk up his grandma porch. He's so good with her. The whole ride here even though he was upset he still talked and played with his sister as if nothing was wrong. I can tell she loves her brother.
Jay sat bobbing his head to the latest rap song paying me no attention while he texted on his phone. I hate this song by Rich Homie Quan.
Crossing my arms I huffed, "Turn it down Jay."
He reached for the nob and turned it up even more, "Milk Marie she got a pretty pussy call it pink cus a nigga fell in love with it! She got a thing for me I go-"
Turning the music all the way down I interrupted his flow. Such trash taste in music. The song is just about a prostitute who's a cum bucket.
"Fuck wrong with you? This my car ole long neck ass. Instead of worrying about my music you need to worry about them two crooked ass teeth in the front. Ever heard of braces?"
Jay knows those have to be removed and he would try to cut.
"Shut up. I know you not talking with them dry flakes in your hair. You need to tell Dad to buy you some dandruff shampoo and some deodorant because you're musky as fuck. The only reason girls probably even give you a chance is because you standing next to Cavonte."
"Damn. Didn't know yo sister be cutting." Cavonte hopped into the backseat. I felt my cheeks heat up. He heard me. Ugh. I feel so embarrassed. He sat in the back laughing causing me to smile.
Jay started up the car. "Shut up." Was all he said. Making me crack up my own self.
"It wasn't even funny to be honest." He turned up the music.
After he dropped Cavonte at Footlocker we are home in less than twenty minutes.
Dad is sitting on the couch with Odalis, our stepmother. I was hoping that he would be home early and alone.
"Hey kids. How was school?" Odalis asked sweetly. I headed towards the kitchen rolling my eyes too.
"Ight. A lot of homework though." Jay replied before heading towards the fridge.
"Santana." Dad's deep voice said in a warning tone. I know he wants me to give her a chance but I already have a mom. I don't need two.
"It was okay." I simply said.
Dad walked into the kitchen taking a seat at the table. I was thankful Odalis didn't follow him.
"Make any new friends?"
"Nah. She's a loner. She was eating lunch by herself." Jay placed leftover pizza into the microwave and warmed it up.
"Shut up snow flakes." I said. Annoyed by him.
"Salty? Witcho lame ass." He laughed. Taking his pizza and going upstairs.
I can't stand Jay sometimes. I don't know how I missed him.
Sitting at the table with Dad I said, "Not really. It's already second semester and everyone already has their friends and cliques."
"That doesn't mean you can't fit in. You're a beautiful and sweet girl I'm sure you're going to make some friends sooner or later."
Placing my hand on my cheek I stared at the table, "I guess so."
He grabbed my hands setting them both on the table. Making me look at him. He's light skin like Jay and he has a jaw strap along with hazel eyes. Mom is dark skin and she has brown eyes too. I don't know how I came out with green eyes but grandma has green eyes. "Don't look so sad. I know you miss it with your mom but it's my turn. I'm sure you'll love it here eventually."
"I hope so. I really missed you, and surprisingly Jay."
Dad laughed. "Maybe he should go next time." He joked.
"Definitely." I laughed.
Odalis walked into the kitchen smiling at the two of us. My good mood dropped. "Are you hungry? I made chicken casserole."
Dad gave me a pleading look. It's going to take a long while before I warm up to Odalis but I'll try just for him.
Plastering on a fake smile, "Yes, thank you."
*******
It's around eight when I leave out the bathroom. Jay is getting ready for some party. Even though I'm just a grade below him he treats me like a little kid.
Going into his room I stand by his door. He's laying on his stomach shirtless while talking to someone on the phone.
"Aysia? Aysia Thomas? Yeah I know you girl. I be seeing yo fine ass walking down the hall. How you got my number tho...oh I gave it to you? I be so busy girl don't trip...you want me to pick you up? Bitch I barely know yo ass talm bout pick you up like I kno where you stay at... nevermind? Yeah you better say nevermind. Probably got roaches and shit or sum fat bitch gonna answer the door. Yea i know yo ass...talking about you Aysia Thomas. Lying catfish ass...the way yo breath set up heavy breathing n shit I know this Danielle Wilson. Delete my number trying to prank call me."
I couldn't control the laugh that escaped my mouth. Jay is so mean. He got up and was laughing too.
"Who was that?" I wiped a stray tear from laughing so hard.
"Some fat bitch. Swear her voice cute. Girl sound like she was bout to have a heart attack in every sentence she would try to get out. Her and her ugly friends stay messing with me and Cavonte."
"How she got your number?"
"I don't even know. Probably one of my friends gave it to her. Thinking shit funny. What yo ass want?"
He went towards his closet and pulled a black shirt off the hanger and putting it on.
"I want to go to the party."
"Uh.. hell no."
Pouting my lips I whined, "Why? I really want to go. You said it yourself. I was sitting by myself at lunch."
He scoffed, "So? That's what good girls do. See, Rosa Parks sat by herself in the front of the bus along with them white folks. You don't see her complaining she ain't have no other niggas sitting with her. She went to jail by herself. Even made history."
Jay is so ugh! "Seriously! I really wanna go stop playing."
Jay sat on the edge of his bed trying to decide whether he should wear his KDs or his Jays. "Which shoe goes better with my outfit or should I just wear my button down white shirt?"
Groaning I said, "You should wear the black shirt with Tupac on it and match it with the black sweats that has the white stars on them. Along with your black and white Jays."
Taking off his shirt, "This why I love yo ass." He headed back towards his closet.
"Can I go to the party?" I pleaded.
"Nah."
"Why!"
"Because I don't have time babysitting you and you know all them niggas gonna be trying to talk to you."
"I'm fifteen I can take care of myself." I continued to whine. Jay didn't say anything else so I knew his words are final. He's so protective of me. I hate that.
Cavonte walked in and immediately crashed on the bed. I got butterflies instantly. He laid on his back and closed his eyes. "Sup, Fam." He said tired.
"You bout to k.o already?" Jay asked him.
"Ya probably why?"
"Didn't you promise Alyssa you'll show up?"
Alyssa? He's talking to someone? Ever since I was about eleven I've been crushing on Cavonte. I saw him beyond his looks. I saw him for him. He's the sweetest guy ever but he just hides his feelings sometimes. He's funny, smart, respectful, and he cares so much about the people he loves.
I don't just like Cavonte. I love him. I've been in love with him for as long as I remember. It just hurts that he doesn't love me back. I never told him how I feel. The other night in the kitchen when I saw him after two years my feelings resurfaced. They heightened even more from the way he was looking at me. Not just as a little girl anymore but a woman.
I want to tell him how I feel but I'm afraid. I'm afraid he'll reject me. I'm afraid what Jay might do if he found out. I know he wouldn't be happy I'm in love with his best friend.
Cavonte sat up and opened his eyes. I didn't want him to go. I will stay if it means he's staying too. He wasn't even looking at me. I want him to look at me.
"Fuck I forgot. You think she would be mad if I don't go?"
No. "Hell yeah. That girl feeling you hard."
Not as hard as me.
Cavonte got out of bed and I felt my heart break a little. "Ight. I'm coming."
"I wanna go." I blurted out. Jay looked as if he just remembered I was still standing here.
"No. Santana damn. Begging don't look good on you."
Cavonte laughed at me and I felt as if I was gonna cry.
"I can't stand you." I left out his room slamming his door behind me. I ran into my room in tears.
He's always embarrassing me. Especially in front of Cavonte. Do you know how bad it feels to have your crush laugh at you? I can't stand Jay sometimes.
"What's wrong?" Dad walked into my room.
"Jay won't let me go with him to the party." I wiped my tears away. If I couldn't get what I wanted from Jay I knew I could with Dad.
After some arguing between Dad and Jay. I'm allowed to go. If I can't go with Jay then he can't go either. I changed into a cute long sleeve black crop top and a pink mini skirt with glitter all over. I wore my black sandals. My toes painted pink too. My brown skin shined and I looked beautiful.
Once I had on my gold necklace I headed outside where Jay and Cavonte were smoking by the car.
Jay looked like he was about to explode. "You going like that?"
"I think she looks beautiful." Dad said. Kissing my temple and telling us to have a good time.
Cavonte barely looked at me before getting into the front seat.
Even though Dad said I looked beautiful right now I feel ugly.
Jay didn't talk to me the whole car ride. He just laughed with Cavonte and told him about the prank call. Cavonte said some guy named Omar gave Danielle the number. Jay just said he got him.
The house isn't that big. It's just a one story that probably has three bedrooms. A lot of people stood on the lawn talking, smoking or drinking. Others were going around the back where I heard music playing.
I followed behind Jay who kept looking over his shoulder making sure I was behind him. Cavonte and him said hey to a lot of people on our way to the back.
I felt so out of place and guys kept staring at me. I just wanted to go home.
"How long are we going to be here?" I asked him.
"Shouldn't have come if you didn't want to stay long. Stupid ass." He said.
"Don't call me stupid."
He just ignored me and Cavonte wandered off. I didn't know anyone here.
There's a pool in the back that a lot of people are in. Drake blasting through the speakers. People are dancing and drinking out of red cups. Some walking in and out of the house with plates of food.
"Hey you." This mixed looking Spanish girl wrapped her arms around my brothers neck. She looked familiar. Oh. That's the girl from art. I forgot her name but I don't really like her that much.
"Sup Julisa?"
She eyed me sideways but didn't pay me much attention. "Just chilling. Been waiting for your ass to show up."
"Yea I had to wait on my sister."
"Oh yeah. Hi you're Savannah right?" She said. Knowing that was not my name.
"Santana."
She looked as if she didn't care. Smiling widely at my brother she pecked his lips making me scowl. She did not deserve my brother.
"Let's have some fun." She flirted with him. Giving him a dirty look.
He grabbed her hands setting them down, "As much as I want to I can't. I have to keep an eye on my sister."
Julisa frowned, "Ugh. I been thinking about you all day. You know how I get when I don't get what I want."
Jay chuckled under his breath, "I know." He kissed her and they started making out.
Not wanting to watch anymore I left my brothers side. Julisa can keep him occupied and maybe he won't be so worried about me anymore.
Weaving through the crowd of people I made my way inside. There's less people in here but it's still a lot. Some chilled by the couches making out and stuff. Some are fixing them plates of food and getting drinks.
I had to use the bathroom and thankfully it's only one girl waiting but she's crying.
Not wanting to stand here and listen to her I felt bad and approached her. "Are you okay?"
The bathroom door opened. A guy walking out. The girl looked over her shoulder and scowled at me. "Bitch don't touch me."
My mouth opened in shock. The girl quickly went into the bathroom slamming the door behind her. What the hell did I do to her?
"I would've slapped that hoe in her face if she said that shit to me. Some people are just bitches." This girl said beside me.
"She was crying and I felt bad and asked if she was okay."
The girl laughed, "Morgan is a nasty bitch. You shouldn't feel sorry for her. She probably mad cus her so called ex bae kissing on Alyssa."
"Who's her ex?"
"Cavonte. This tall, August Aslina look alike type dude. Shit I would be crying over him too."
I mouthed oh. That must be the girl he was yelling at after school.
"Damn I gotta piss she need to hurry up." The girl started doing a weird dance. The girl is tall and real skinny. She the same color as me but I can tell she not mixed with anything. Her hair is shaved on one side and the other half is in deep waves down her back. She has a lip piercing too and she's really pretty.
Morgan exited out the bathroom seizing me on her way out too. I hurried up and used the bathroom. Making sure not to sit on the toilet.
The girl outside told me to wait for her. I did and come to find out her name is Jasmine.
"You new to Lanxton Heights High right? I've seen you in a couple of my classes."
"Yeah. I'm a sophomore though."
"Me too."
Jasmine led me into the kitchen and we both got a soda along with some jerk chicken.
We sat on one of the couches.
"Who you came here with?"
"My brother Jay."
"Jay who?"
"Jaylen Diego."
Jasmine eyes widened and she smiled too, "That's your brother? Y'all look alike a little. He's fine."
A lot of girls have always like Jay. I don't know why. He got the dirtiest mouth ever. He's so rude. I was surprised he was being nice to Julisa.
"Don't let his looks fool you."
"Trust me. I know he's rude as hell. I be feeling bad for the chicks that get cut by him."
I noticed this tall light skin dude looking at me. He has a jaw strap and a dark curly blow out on top of his head. He's really cute.
"This guy keeps staring at me." I told Jasmine. I gave her his description because I didn't want to point.
"Oh that's Jameson. He's a sophomore I think but I know he's on the basketball team."
This chick walked up to him wrapping her arms around his neck. "And, that's his girlfriend Alicia. They've been together for a long time."
Well her boyfriend has wandering eyes. Looking over my shoulder at him one more time he's smiling down at his girlfriend. If only that were Cavonte and I but he seems to have enough girl drama as it is.
"Hey I'm heading home. You need a ride or?" She asked me.
This party isn't for me. I've never been a fan of parties anyway. I'm ready to go home.
"Yeah. I'll text my brother and tell him I'm leaving."
She nodded her head, "Ight. I'm going to tell my friend Nyema I'm ready to go. Just meet me outside."
I told her okay. She friends with Nyema too? That means she's friends with Julisa. I don't know why Julisa doesn't like me but from her attitude I don't like her either. Nyema she's okay but I barely spoke to her. She was busy talking to Julisa anyway.
Me: Leaving wit a friend
My brother instantly replied. He's probably looking for me.
Bro: Fym leavn wit a friend? Bitch i been lookn erywhere 4 u. U aint got no mf friend. Where tf u @?
Me: dnt call me out my name 4 i tell daddy im @ by the couches dnt start nun jay
Bro: imma beat yo ass
I didn't have time to get embarrassed by my brother so I quickly left out the front door where Nyema and Jasmine are waiting by a red Chevrolet.
"Hey," I said to Nyema. She gave me a half smile, "Sup? I think your brother looking for you."
Nervously I nodded my head, "Can we go please?"
Jasmine and Nyema laughed.
"Girl what you gotta be scared for? He ain't gonna do nothing while we're here." Jasmine said, walking around her car and getting in.
"Damn right. He better go fuck Julisa cus that girl know she want some." Nyema laughed, opening the door getting in too.
I opened the back door and hopped in. Jasmine adjusted her mirror before making sure no one's behind her.
I saw Jay walk out the house looking pissed with Julisa following behind him like a wounded puppy.
He spotted us in the car and made his way over just as Jasmine is pulling out the driveway.
"Nyema!" He yelled causing Jasmine to stop.
"What you want Jay?" She popped her lips as she applied some nude lipstick.
Please don't embarrass me. Jay walked up to the car and Jasmine rolled down the window.
"Where the hell y'all taking my sister?" He sounded less angry but the tone is still there.
"We taking her home. It's not like you care if she having fun or nah." Jasmine said. Defending me.
"Jasmine don't start." He glared at her but a smile spread across his lips. She smiled back, "Not like you gonna do nun."
Jay just continued to smile at her and I thought for a minute they have a little something going on.
"Haitian ass." He laughed. Nevermind.
"Get momo." She stuck up her middle finger.
Nyema scoffed, "I'm missing an episode of Scandal for this."
Jay's attention turned towards me. He frowned and I rolled my eyes at him. "Don't wander off next time lil girl. You lucky I ain't beat yo ass."
"Shut up Jay. Do you okay? I'm going home."
"Whatever." He waved us off before following after Julisa who's already heading back into the house.
Instead of taking me straight home Jasmine stopped at Kwik Pick where a few guys stood outside hanging out.
"Jasmine?"
Nyema exited the car before walking up to one of the guys and getting a cigarette.
"Don't freak. We just gonna be here for a little bit. You mind?"
I would rather be home. I barely know Jasmine and Nyema. Let alone these hood guys.
"No." I lied.
"Alright come on."
"I have to get out?" I nervously asked. It's dark out and I don't trust these guys.
Jasmine gave me a reassuring look and smiled. "Girl I got yo back. They real chill I swear."
Thinking it over I didn't know what to do. I wanted to fit in but I don't know about this.
"I'll buy you some chips and a soda girl. Come on." She even opened the door for me.
I didn't care about that but I got out the car anyway. Jasmine grinned before shutting the door behind me. "Yas, sus."
Jasmine walked over to where Nyema is smoking. She took the cigarette from her and started taking a hit too.
"Sup ma?" This dark skin dude flashed his grills at me. Obviously interested along with his boys.
I shyly smiled at them even though it was fake.
"Rah she too young. Leave ha." Nyema said, taking a drag.
He still is smiling at me. Licking his lips and rubbing his hands, "Age ain't nun but a numba gurl."
His two friends laughed. They all looked like they are in their twenties. I don't know why Jasmine and Nyema hanging with them. Jay would drag my ass up and down this street if he knew where I was right now.
Jasmine shook her head and Nyema chuckled. "So. What y'all been up to?"
"Chilling. Getting this paper you already know." The white guy with the dreads said.
"Let me borrow sum?" Nyema asked.
"Whatchu gon give me?" He smiled down at her. I just felt disgusted. How can grown men prey on young girls?
"Harlem go on with all that. You know I always pay you back."
Jasmine left Nyema side to go talk with the other guy who looked much younger than the two men.
While everyone else is having their side conversations Rah takes it upon himself to approach me. I hope I'm not giving off the wrong impression.
"You ain't gotta be scared of me or my boys. I ain't gon hurt you. They damn sure ain't either." He wrapped his arm around my shoulder making me feel uncomfortable. He smelled like weed and cologne.
I didn't say anything. I just know he isn't good. He shouldn't even be talking to me.
"What's ya name shawty?"
"Santana." I whispered.
"Ooh. That's a beautiful name. You look hella foreign too. What you is Dominican?"
I nodded my head. I really want to go home. "It's getting late."
"You right. Bet you got school tomar?"
I nodded my head.
"How old you is?"
"Fifteen."
He low whistled before chuckling under his breath. "Damn. You a baby. Girl you look bout eighteen way yo body set up."
I didn't want him looking at my body. Any boy. The only boy I wanted to see me doesn't even like me the way I love him.
"Look, I'm known round these streets. Erybody know me as Raheem. The kingpin around herr. I could do big thangs. A girl like you there's big opportunities and you just gotta know how to take it. Ya feel me?"
I didn't like the fact he was bragging about himself. A kingpin ain't nothing to be proud of. All these girls talking about they want a thug. What a thug really going to do is get you killed or involved in something you can't get out of. Thugs is worthless in my book.
"If you talking about taking off my clothes, selling drugs, riding or dying for a nigga then I'm not interested. The only big opportunities I have is fulfilling my education and if you not schooling me about that I'm sorry. Not interested." I shrugged his arm off me. I'm no fool.
Rah just laughed and I didn't think it was funny. "Girl. I'm talking about you being in some of my music videos."
Like that's such a big difference?
"Not interested. I'm sorry." I walked away from him and addressed Jasmine.
"I really need to get home."
She left the guys side and nodded her head. "Okay. You still want sum to eat?"
"No thanks."
Jasmine told Nyema to come on and she reluctantly followed us back to the car.
"Missing out on a big opportunity!" Rah shouted with a big grin on his face. I didn't pay him any attention. I was just thankful Jasmine pulled out the parking lot.
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