The halls where he used to run around, giggling without care. The rooms where he would laugh aloud with others to follow, the house where he grew up never knowing how much pain would washer over him.
Xiao Zhan was sitting on the large couch, his 10 years old cousin sitting on his lap and giving him a manicure. He thought he escaped the wrath of Make up by his Lu Jie, had he known what he was signing himself up for, he would definitely had bought toys for her.
"Gege, stop moving." Chen Zhuo Xuan complained when blobs of paint kept appearing on the skin around nails, making it appear messy.
"I'm not moving, you're just bad at this Xuan Xuan." Xiao Zhan complained back, hoping it would save him from this misery. He had barely gotten rid of Xuan Lu's master piece and now this again.
"Can't I even move for breathing?" The little one crossed her arms, still holding the brush, looking at her gege with It-is-your-fault- eyes.
"Alright, alright, I won't move. Now hurry up finish what you're doing." Xiao Zhan admitted defeat. Brothers should never win against sisters.
"A-Xuan, stop bothering him, come and help me set the table." Song Jiyang came from the kitchen, carrying a hotpot with the snowflake mittens – a present his daughter and husband gave him.
Zhuo Xuan whined but she knew she couldn't escape her dad, so she obediently packed her new nail paints –The Pastel Pink, Deep Purple and shining Whine- and strolled towards her Dad.
Xiao Zhan heaved a huge sigh of relief. He had been rescued.
"Jiang Uncle, let me help you." Xiao Zhan offered as he got up his seat, still feeling a little light from all that crying before.
"You stay right there, Zhan." Li Bowen climbed down the stairs, yawing as he scratched his head. Being Song Jiyang's secretary, He was up till late night working on one of the deals in the Wei company.
"Bowen Uncle." Xiao Zhan greeted his sleepy uncle with a mellow smile and warm embrace.Li Bowen reciprocated the same way but with the wider smile and tight embrace.
"It's been a while." Li Bowen said, as he messed up his nephew's already messed up hair.
"It has been." Xiao Zhan said, the smile still not leaving his face. He watched him as Li Bowen went to Song Jiyang, giving him a morning kiss. While Song Jiyang complaining about brushing his teeth first. And couple busying themselves setting the table so they could have a warm family meal after ages.
A similar memory flashed before his eyes.
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[Flashback]
In the busy city of Jiujiang, at the lonely corner of a street, inside not too big and not so small apartment, a couple was bickering nonstop over the pointless things.
"Wang Yibo, are you trying to poison me?" Xiao Zhan took a spoon of disaster his boyfriend had cooked. By appearance alone, it looked like Satan's shit. Still Xiao Zhan wanted to give his boyfriend a chance, who spent the entire morning cooking the inedible meal.
"Zhan-ge, we both know I can't cook." Wang Yibo grabbed the bowl and took a spoon full himself, it tasted exactly how it looked. He knitted his brows together and stick out his tongue, his taste buds were begging for mercy.
Xiao Zhan shook his head in disbelief as he tried to get out of the bed.
"Zhan-ge, don't!" Wang Yibo stopped his boyfriend from doing what he planned on doing.
"Bo-di, I am hungry and so are you, so let me cook something hmm?" Xiao Zhan reasoned.
"Absolutely not! You are not recovered yet." Wang Yibo reprimanded his boyfriend who still had dozen scars and countless stitches on his stomach.
"I'm okay, it doesn't hurt that much." Xiao Zhan said with a smile, even though he had been feeling pain since early morning and by each passing minute it was growing worst. But to keep the younger from worrying, Xiao Zhan lied. Luckily, Wang Yibo refused to listen, he fished out his phone and ordered the meal before the elder could protest.
"I already ordered. Now, lay back."
"Tch." Xiao Zhan gave an unpleased look and laid back on the bed. It has been like that for a whole week.
Just two weeks ago, Xiao Zhan and Zhuocheng had witnessed one of the worst days of their lives. They escaped out of the Readapt Testing Lab right before the explosion, they were lucky to have been alive.
Unable to cope up with guilt regarding Zhuocheng and the family drama, topped with the growing pain in his body, Xiao Zhan requested to live with Wang Yibo for the time being. Wang Yibo, who felt mortified for not being able to protect his love from that horrendous place, wanted to make up for that and was devoted on fully pampering the love of his life.
But for Xiao Zhan it was too much, staying still in the bed, unable to do much left him feeling incompetent. The more free time he had, the more memories of that lab nestled in his brain. But what could he do? His body was so abused that he couldn't even go to toilet without assistance. He himself knew, he needed a lot of rest to get better.
"Zhan ge, you should enjoy the freedom. When you recover, you would definitely get tired of cooking every day." Wang Yibo tried to ease the mood of elder; Who was now laying on the bed with big pout.
"What makes you think I would cook for you?" Xiao Zhan said making the pout even bigger, emphasizing his foul mood. Wang Yibo smiled at his beautiful lover, he's adorable even when he's sulking.
"Won't you cook for your husband?" Wang Yibo teased, they had not made any pledges yet the both of them knew that they belong to each other now and forever.
"What makes you think I would marry you?" Xiao Zhan teased back, however Wang Yibo was not in set mind to take the joke. Feeling hurt he asked,
"Don't you love me?"
"I don't." Xiao Zhan said mercilessly, not looking at the face the younger was making.
"Z-Zhan-ge...don't say that..." Wang Yibo tried not to mind the joke but words were very important to him, the commitment was an assurance he needed. If he took that away what would be left of him?
Xiao Zhan realized he said what Wang Yibo liked least to hear. He knew Wang Yibo had always been insecure one. Feeling guilty, Xiao Zhan got up and hugged his little bean, assuring him of his love.
"Of course, I will marry you and only you. I love you so much, should you doubt me now, little star?"
Wang Yibo nuzzled in his neck, taking in all of his scent and clutching to him harder.
I nearly lost you Zhan-ge.
Ever since the incident, Wang Yibo's insecurity turned a different route. He didn't doubt Xiao Zhan's love but the fate. What if something bad happened again? He had witnessed all the horrendous things happened to his beloved and the torture at the Readapt testing lab nearly cost his life.
Wang Yibo didn't realize he was holding him too tight until a whimper fell on his ears.
"...Yibo" Xiao Zhan tried to bear the pain but the wounds were still fresh, making him unable to do so.
"Ah! I'm so sorry!" Wang Yibo immediately let go, examining the wounds.
But it had been hurting since morning, causing Xiao Zhan to wrinkle in pain. He lied down, hoping to ease it, but the pain kept crawling, burning him whole.
"...I-I'm okay...Ngn..." Xiao Zhan tried to ease his panicked boyfriend but his body said otherwise. Gripping his stomach, Xiao Zhan curled up, his breathing getting haggard.
"Zhan ge!" Wang Yibo immediately brought the heat compress and placed it on the bandaged stomach.
Blood trickled down from his thighs, revealing a phenomenon that had never happened before.
"Zhan-ge, you're bleeding again." Wang Yibo noticed the red fluid and went to the toilet to grab towel and water. When he returned, the sight made his heart burn.
Xiao Zhan was squirming in agony, experiencing every part of his body going through a breakdown. His tears already leaked through his eyes, stressing the unbearable anguish.
"...Yibo...get the ...injection..." Xiao Zhan said wringing in sweat, his breath uneven.
"B-but the doctor said... – "
"Yibo..."
Wang Yibo didn't waste any more time, bringing out the box of medicine which was advised by the medics. He grabbed the steroid injection and went back to his beloved, who was a mess of torment.
Wang Yibo's heart shattered seeing him like that.
"...Yibo." Xiao Zhan pleaded, begging to be relieved of this agony. Wang Yibo was trembling by now; he took a deep breath and finally injected Xiao Zhan.
Laying motionless on his side, Xiao Zhan had his eyes half opened and his breathing easing as the corticosteroid registered in his body. The injection always brought bruises on Xiao Zhan's skin and sometimes they bring insomnia. Unless it was absolutely necessary, the doctors advised not to use the injection.
Wang Yibo stroked Xiao Zhan's hair, aiding him to fall asleep. It broke him every time, when Xiao Zhan withered in pain. The dying once was better than dying every day.
Anger rise in him, clutching his fist tight, Wang Yibo broke the injection in his hand. The remaining content giving a chilling sensation on his blood less skin.
I will make them pay for this!
Wiping away his tears, Wang Yibo threw the broken injection and begun to clean Xiao Zhan.
Gently he wiped away his blood, sweat and tears and changed his robes. Xiao Zhan was not advised to wear clothes, as they were still trying to figure out what they did to his body and what was the cause of immense pain.
From the tests they ran, they said his body was going through immense changes, it was the first time, doctors had witnessed something like that. They even told him to count days, as they were not sure if Xiao Zhan would be able to survive this. But Wang Yibo kept hoping, diligently tending to him, trying his utmost best to help him recover.
Hours later Xiao Zhan wrinkled awake to the lovely sight of his beloved, sleeping next to him. Xiao Zhan could tell he was crying as there were traces of tears in his eyes.
Tenderly, Xiao Zhan wiped away those tears with this thumb and caressed his beloved's face. He traced those features with his eyes, engraving them in his heart.
"I'm sorry for worrying you." Xiao Zhan whispered and joined his forehead with his beloved, attempting to take away his fears.
Slowly, Xiao Zhan got up and saw the food which they ordered growing cold on the table. Gradually he got off the bed, with light steps he went to the kitchen and heated the meal. He hadn't had anything since morning and needed the food to take medicine, so without waiting for Wang Yibo, Xiao Zhan begun to eat the meal.
Even the food intake was hard on Xiao Zhan as his stomach would reject it, most of the time Xiao Zhan ended up vomiting the debris along with blood. He had been on IV drips and liquid food and god knows how long he was supposed to eat that.
"Zhan ge!" Wang Yibo shouted and ran to find his beloved; who was suppose to be in bed.
"Yibo." Xiao Zhan gave a guilty smile, he's was going to get scolded for sure.
Seeing his love, eating the meal in peace, Wang Yibo released the breath he was holding and thanked the heavens that he was okay.
"Zhan-ge, go back to bed, I will bring the meal to you." Wang Yibo gently guided his life back to bed with soft touches. He scurried back to kitchen and brought the meal.
"Bo-di, come and eat with me." Xiao Zhan said as he patted the side of the bed. Wang Yibo followed with the big smile and the two of them ate a hearty meal.
The rest of the day was spent in bickering as to which movie they were going to play. Xiao Zhan wanted to watch heartwarming, slice of life while Wang Yibo wanted to show his favorite Hero movies. The couple ended up watching compilation of baby pandas as they drifted to sleep.
The next morning, Xiao Zhan woke up to the empty bed. He looked around and all the necessities were placed on reachable distance. His medicine, his meal, his robes along with a small note.
"Zhan-ge, I will be back by 11. Don't move too much okay? I love you the most."
Xiao Zhan looked at the clock and it was 10:35. Luckily, he wouldn't have to wait that long. Xiao Zhan took the medical leave from the university and Wang Yibo was doing the same. It was after much persuasion from Xiao Zhan, did the younger listen and didn't stop going to university.
Wang Yibo had taken all the morning classes and even a moment of break in between, he ran back to apartment to check on Xiao Zhan. It was hard to balance his life but he diligently stayed by his side.
Xiao Zhan was more motivated to get better so Wang Yibo wouldn't have to take on everything by himself. His morning would always begun with a call from his sister, asking him if he was alright, to which he always responded the same –Do not worry, I am getting better.
Long before the clock struck 11, beautiful angel appeared before him, bringing another meal for them. Liu Jian Min had transferred a lot of money to Wang Yibo's account, even though he harshly refused, Liu Jian Min couldn't let him deal with all the living expenses and medicine bills. Xiao Zhan practically threatened Yibo to accept the money or he wouldn't move in with him.
"Zhan-ge!" he greeted with a big warm smile.
"Bo-di." Xiao Zhan reciprocated the same. Wang Yibo threw his bag on entrance, put the meal on table and dashed towards his beloved, carefully giving him a warm kiss.
"I didn't brush my teeth yet." Xiao Zhan tried to complain but Wang YIbo seemed to not listen, kissing him even more.
"I will help you baby sponge." Wang Yibo teased.
"Baby what?! What kind of nick name is that?" Xiao Zhan protested.
"You call me little start, can't I call you baby sponge?"
"The name I gave sounds cool, but you –" Xiao Zhan shook his head in disbelief, baby sponge? What part of him look like a baby and how did he even come up with sponge? What even goes through that head?
"My name is cool too." Wang Yibo retorted.
"Not cool."
"It is cool."
"No, it's not."
"Yes, it is."
The two had just met now and already begun to bicker away the day, it was the start of many good memories as they spend the day and night in each other's company.
Little did they know their happy days were counted.
[Flashback ends]
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Sitting at the lunch table, the Wei family talked about all the mundane things. Zhuo Xuan kept blabbering about his crushes. Xiao Zhan lost count of how many. Song Jiyang kept filling Xiao Zhan's plate while Li Bowen was keeping his precious ones in check, so they won't overwhelm him too much.
Xiao Zhan was feeling delighted.
As he thought, nothing could beat warmth of a family.
After the meal, Chen Zhuo Xuan was helping her Dad with dishes in the kitchen, while Li Bowen accompanied Xiao Zhan.
"Here eat this." Li Bowen handed a chocolate bar to confused looking Xiao Zhan.
"I am already 26, you are still treating me like a child." Xiao Zhan accepted the bar, who could say not to sweets?
"Once a child is always a child." Li Bowen laughed lightly. The two talked about Chongqing, how the weather was growing hot every year, how the eateries were growing in number and how the food was as spicy as ever.
"Bowen Uncle, can I ask for a favor?" Xiao Zhan asked, more like a whisper. Sensing the change in the tone, Li Bowen figured it would be something serious. He turned around, glancing at his precious ones still busy in the kitchen then returned his gaze at his nephew.
"Anything I can do for you?"
Xiao Zhan thought for a moment, does he really want to know? Taking deep breathe he finally asked,
"Can you find information about Readapt Testing Lab?"
Not expecting that of all things, the shock was written on Li Bowen's face.
"Wasn't the lab destroyed?"
"It was but I found a survivor so I am not sure."
"A survivor? Where did you find him and who it was?"
"In Luoyang, he's Ziyi Jie's cousin."
"I see."
There was silence for a moment as the two of them tried to figure out which route to take. Contemplating for long, Li Bowen spoke first.
"Give me few days, I will gather all the information but"
"But?" Xiao Zhan asked, eyeing his uncle.
"But you have to promise to not do anything dangerous. Do not put your self in harms way okay?" Li Bowen demanded, a fair deal in exchange for information.
Xiao Zhan nodded his head in understanding. Even if he wanted to, he couldn't do anything.
"Jiyang, it's been years since I last saw him this happy. You are his blood, his family and the reason he's alive. So, don't hurt yourself in any way." Li Bowen elaborated, emphasizing the necessity of his life.
"I-I understand." Xiao Zhan didn't realize how important his life was for others, he always thought it would have been better to just die but now he felt overwhelmed, happy to hear that they regard him the same way he does.
Another moment of comfortable silence passed when Li Bowen spoke again,
"Thank you for coming, Jiyang had been waiting for long."
His eyes glisten, revealing the pearls forming in his eyes, he wiped them before they could fall and said.
"Thank you for waiting for me."
. . .
As the sun begun to move, revealing the arrival of evening, Chen Zhuo Xuan dragged Xiao Zhan to her room. The room reflected her outgoing personality, she had a collection of everything a girl would have in her room.
Xiao Zhan happily sat on the bean bag chair while Zhuo Xuan sat on his lap again. They rarely got together and whenever they did, Zhuo Xuan would cling to her gege like the glue.
And on some blue moon occasions, when Qi Pei Xin and Chen Zhuo Xuan were present together. They would fight over him, Claiming him as their own.
"Xuan Xuan how has everybody been?" Xiao Zhan asked braiding the little maiden's hair.
"Mmmm, everyone has been good. Dad doesn't cry that much now, he's smiling more. Papa always help him with work. And they buy me lots of accessories when I do good in school."
After Liu Tingyu's death, Song Jiyang had lost the spirit to work and even live. The corps wasn't on its' previous peek but it was still among the best one in china.
Song Jiyang sold the major part of the Wei Corps, reducing it to a mere company. He said he didn't need money –the amount to put food on the table was enough. Rest of the money was transferred into Xiao Zhan's account, for his education and his future. It was enough to last him a life time, that's how big and power full the Wei Corp was before the greedy vaulters bit away the pieces.
Right now, Song Jiyang was content with the small company he had established from the scratch. Li Bowen helped him, the two had been friends since school and gradually the love bloomed.
Moreover, Li Bowen was always there when Song Jiyang was on his lowest.
"What about you Gege, how have you been?" Chen Zhuo Xuan asked, turning her braided head.
"I am going to be good." Xiao Zhan answered.
"You're not good right now? how come? Xuan Xuan is with you."
Xiao Zhan smiled and gently pulled her cheeks.
"I'm going to be good, because Xuan Xuan is with me." Xiao Zhan kept pulling the whining cheeks. If his daughter were alive, she would be this adorable.
Xiao Zhan suddenly held her in her embrace, ignoring her protest. His little one would be running around calling him papa. They could have been a happy family too but the fate had other plans.
"Gege! Too tight." Zhuo Xuan tried her best to push away his cousin with her little arms.
"Sorry. Xuan Xuan is just so adorable that I couldn't help." Xiao Zhan undone the embrace. Hearing the compliment, a small mellow giggle erupted out of her. This time, he embraced her gege while snickering adorably. The two begun their adventure to the dream land.
Xiao Zhan was stirred from his slumber when he heard a light knock. He didn't realize he had fallen asleep and apparently, he wasn't the only one. Chen Zhuo Xuan was taking a nap, still holding him in embrace.
"Sorry, did I wake you up?" Song Jiyang came to check on two and found them bundled up together in the sleep.
"It's alright, I didn't realize I fell asleep." Xiao Zhan said, he couldn't move because his little cousin was heavy despite her small frame or maybe Xiao Zhan was too weak?
Song Jiyang picked up his sleeping daughter and gently tucked her in the bed, She moved around a little but with tender rocking, she fell asleep again.
Xiao Zhan witnessed a sweet moment and the same longing rise up in his heart, he wished to do same and so much more for his daughter.
Still facing the little bundle of mischief, Song Jiyang suddenly uttered,
"A-Zhan I am very proud of you."
Unable to understand the meaning behind it, Xiao Zhan asked,
"Proud of me?"
For what? What did he do to be proud of? He brought nothing but misery to the people around him, either they died, were pushed away or left him. What's there to be proud of?
Song Jiyang turned towards his nephew, seeing his confused face he muttered,
"A-Zhan, you sought help to get better...It was a big step I am very proud."
Song Jiyang moved to the bean bag opposite of Xiao Zhan, he continued.
"You finally came to visit mom, Jie and me."
It has almost been 9 years; he had been running away for 9 years and finally he returned home. Song Jiyang looked at the sleeping face of his daughter, a sad smile appeared on his face as he said,
"You finally let your daughter rest in peace. She had been waiting for you since the beginning."
The miracle had to be put to sleep so they could protect Xiao Zhan, he was already in coma, his body rejecting every ideas of surviving. The doctors did best they could to save the both but it was a tragedy that couldn't be avoided.
Song Jiyang turned his gaze at his nephew, smiling genuinely this time,
"...And lastly you embraced your fears. You admitted that your misery is not brought upon by him, you accepted your love for Wang Yibo."
Xiao Zhan was looking with wide eyes, He did all that. He really did.
He thought the day would never come before he could talk about Wang Yibo to anybody else without breaking down but here he was, feeling happy that someone finally said Wang Yibo's name and didn't treat him like a criminal who committed grave sins.
Even Xiao Zhan felt proud of himself.
"A-Zhan, now your next task is to get better and once you do that, I will help you find Wang Yibo."
Xiao Zhan bulged out his eyes. Was it shock or happiness? he didn't know. He would get to see Wang Yibo if he gets better. The thought brought both pain and excitement in him.
"What if Y-Yibo doesn't want to meet..."
He voiced out his fear. Last he checked; he was with somebody else. What if the things had improved between them? What if they are already settled down? What if he didn't want to see him?
The dread crawled on Xiao Zhan as the tears shaped in his eyes. It's too cruel. He can't see him with somebody else.
Song Jiyang stroked his hands, easing the tight grip, he reassured,
"A-Zhan, to heal properly meeting him is a necessity, even if things didn't work out you can at least be proud for having tried."
Xiao Zhan trembled at the thought, if things didn't work out? He had never imagined a future without Wang Yibo and now he was living one. Seeing Xiao Zhan reacted badly to that statement, Song Jiyang patted his back, urging him to calm down.
"Forgive me..." Song Jiyang apologized. Xiao Zhan shook his head indicating it was alright. Seeing him afraid like this, Song Jiyang asked,
"A-Zhan what is your biggest fear, your biggest nightmare?"
He had a lot of those but the one he feared the most to come true was
"...To meet Yibo and don't recognize him."
If you truly loved me, you wouldn't forget me.
Song Jiyang speculated his insecurities, he needed to be the bearer of hope, it was least he could do for him.
"When you were in coma, the doctor told us that your Hippocampus was damaged. You lost your memories because of the injury to the brain and heavy drug that was needed to keep you alive. The doctor told us that you might forget everything, luckily you regained most of your memories. Having said that, Wang Yibo is not the only thing you forgot. If you really had forgotten him, you wouldn't remember that you loved him."
Those words lifted a huge weight off Xiao Zhan. He stared in disbelief, He always believed that he forgot Wang Yibo because he didn't love him enough. But it wasn't the case. He didn't forget him. He still carried those memories in his heart.
"If seeing his face, you still don't remember him, then start from the scratch. Become friends again and fall in love." Song Jiyang said mellowly, bringing uncountable courage in Xiao Zhan. He needed to hear this; he needed this support.
Xiao Zhan gained a new confidence and he was motivated to get better even more now.
At Night, in Xiao Zhan's old room, he picked up his phone and happily dialed a number. Within few rings the other person picked up.
"Hello doctor Liu."
"Zhan! Where are you? Why didn't you reply to my messages? Are you alright?" The psychiatrist asked in panic, he had texted in the late morning and Xiao Zhan was replying late at night.
"I'm in Chongqing." Xiao Zhan said happily. Had he known coming to Chongqing would bring this much motivation, he would have done that ages ago.
"...W-what are you doing there? Are you alright? Did something happen? Do you need me to come over?"
Xiao Zhan laughed lightly at the Psychiatrist, he was supposed to be the calm one and look at him now panicking uncontrollably.
"I am perfectly alright. I wanted to visit my family and properly say goodbye to my daughter." Xiao Zhan said bravely,
"..."
"Anyways, I will come back to Beijing in another two days. If it's not too much trouble can we schedule a session right after?"
"Why the hurry? Did something happen? Did anything trigger you? Are you taking medicine?" Yet the Psychiatrist didn't stop worrying.
"Nothing happened, I just want to get better quickly." Xiao Zhan said with a determined smile.
"That's a good thing! I'm really glad!" Psychiatrist smiled wholeheartedly himself.
"Well, it's all thanks to you."
"No, it was your own effort, you are really brave."
Xiao Zhan smiled sheepishly, indeed he had been brave.
"Yeah and we can go to barbeque like I promised"
"With pleasure."
With that Xiao Zhan drifted into a peace full sleep, with new determination for better days to arrive.
Wang Yibo, just a little more and I'll come see you.
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Sorry for the Errors and wait.
Happy First Anniversary to The Untamed!
Thank you!