"I'd like to make a toast," Gwen proclaims loudly as she holds up her mug of hot chocolate. I'm pretty sure she spiked it. "May today mark the beginning of a new Blood Lake tradition: Snowball Fight Day."
Axel grimaces. "Snowball Fight Day? That's the best you could come up with?"
Scowling, Gwen says, "Got anything better, you ugly can of soup?"
Cassia laughs as Cain and I suppress a smile. His arm tightens around my waist, pulling me closer to him in Zach's overcrowded kitchen. Axel merely rolls his eyes, and we all lift our mugs.
"May our children and our childrens' children celebrate this day for many years to come," Gwen says, and Cain squeezes me even tighter. "And may my children one day continue my legacy and beat the crap out of Axel's children," Gwen toasts, and we all take a drink. I wince as I realize that Gwen has spiked my hot chocolate as well. Based on the look on Cassia's face, she also got a healthy dose of alcohol.
Zach hid a bottle of rum in his cabinet. What an obvious place to store it, Gwen mindlinks me and winks conspiratorially.
I chuckle slightly, and Cain asks: What's so funny, pup?
Nothing, I quickly respond, taking another sip.
Axel sniffs the air. "Why do I smell alcohol?"
Gwen is quick to retort, "Get your nose checked, dog."
Zach sighs. "Gwen, did you take the bottle of rum from my cabinet?"
Gwen scoffs. "How dare you accuse me of something so horrid? I would never go through your belongings."
Axel plucks the mug out of her hand as she protests, and takes a sip, grimacing. "It's definitely rum."
Gwen shrugs. "Okay, so maybe I did do something that horrid."
Zach rolls his eyes and mutters something about needing to buy a lock, and switches his mug with Cassia's, who frowns.
"I should get going," Axel says after downing his cup. "I have a patrol shift soon."
Gwen jumps off of the stool she was perched on. "I'll go with you. I could use a little excitement."
Axel groans. "Great."
"Be careful," Cain warns. "And don't forget we have a meeting tonight at 7."
Ah, right. The meeting between Pack Leaders regarding the Red Crescent situation, since we would be taking a trip there tomorrow.
"Can I go?" Gwen begs. "Please, Cain? C'mon, I'm the Weapons Master, I totally deserve to go."
Cain narrows his eyes. "Don't you have somewhere else to be tonight?"
Gwen's eyes widen. "Oh- right. Yeah, sorry, I just remembered. Too bad, Axe, I know you'll miss having me there," She elbows him in the ribs.
"What do you have to do tonight?" Axel asks suspiciously. "You don't have any friends besides Ares and I."
Gwen scoffs, "I have other friends!"
"Do not," Axel snorts. "C'mon, why so secretive? What are you doing?"
"She has a training session," Cain says smoothly, and for some reason, it seems like he's lying to cover for her.
Axel shrugs. "Goddess knows she needs it," He says as he and Gwen walk to the door, arguing the whole way out.
"We should get going too," Cain says, putting his mug down. We say our goodbyes to Cassia and Zach, and Zach mindlinks me to thank me for coming by.
Unsurprisingly, as soon as we're outside, Cain scoops me up into his arms, and snow falls lightly around us. He peppers a few kisses on my face.
"You're in a good mood," I note with a smile.
Cain laughs, and the sound seems to warm the earth. "Why shouldn't I be? I have the most beautiful mate, who also seems to be in a good mood, judging by the fact that she hasn't tried to stab me yet today."
I chuckle at the word "yet". "The day is still young," I tease, and he laughs. "Why'd you lie about Gwen having a training session?" I ask curiously.
Cain abruptly looks away. "I didn't."
My eyes narrow. "So if I go by Gwen's house tonight, she'll be there?"
Cain sighs. "Give her some privacy, Ares."
"You do know something!" I accuse, trying to squirm out of his arms, but his grip is tight. "Why the hell won't Gwen tell me who she's fucking, but she'll tell you of all people?"
"You know that she's fucking someone?" Cain asks in surprise.
I grin. "Now I know for sure."
"Just drop it, Ares," Cain warns. "She'll tell you when she's ready."
I scoff, crossing my arms. "I can't believe my mate and my best friend are keeping secrets from me. Unbelievable."
Cain just rolls his eyes. "Are you ready for the meeting tonight?" He subtly changes the subject.
"Maybe. Are you going to argue with me that the best way to quell the rebellion in Red Crescent is through violence?" I ask. We didn't see eye to eye on the Red Crescent situation. He seemed to think that responding to the situation with violence would only escalate it, but I disagreed.
"Depends. Are you going to try to slit the throat of any Red Crescent wolf who crosses you?" He asks, a small smile on his face, his good mood undeterred by my attitude.
I shrug. I thought about it.
In all honesty, Cain was way more likely than me to kill a Red Crescent wolf. His anger is white-hot and explosive, his temper way more volatile than mine. My violence is controlled, and I rarely ever lose my cool, whereas Cain is highly prone to violent outbursts.
"Home sweet home," Cain says as he opens the door, and I laugh, enamored with his happy mood.
My laughter halts abruptly when I see the person sitting on the couch.
Rose.
Carter's widow.
"I have some work to do," Cain says as he sets me down.
"Um, me too, I'll go with you," I quickly say, following after him, but he stops me.
"Oh it's okay, Ares," He says with a faux-pleasant smile. "You can stay and talk to Rose, I'll do your work."
Bastard. He set me up.
Cain kisses my forehead and quickly leaves, and I curse him out via mindlink.
I love you too, pup, he responds with a laugh once I'm finished.
Rose gets off of the couch, and I see a bundle in her arms. I swallow hard.
"Hi, Luna," Rose says, standing across from me.
I give a forced smile. "It hasn't been that long, Rose. Call me Ares, please."
She smiles warmly, and the baby stirs slightly in her arms. "It's been months," Rose points out, but her smile doesn't falter.
I cringe inwardly. "Sorry about that. I've been busy."
Her grin widens. "You've been avoiding me."
I wince. So it was obvious. "Look, I'm sorry, I just..." My voice trails off as I struggle to find the words.
Rose looks at me sympathetically, which makes my stomach turn over. "I heard. About your miscarriage. I'm sorry. That must have been incredibly hard for you and Cain."
Hearing the words out loud nearly made me vomit. Nobody ever talked about what happened to me, not directly. Even Gwen and Axel knew not to bring it up.
"Um, yeah," I say, going into the kitchen and taking out a bottle of liquor. "Want some?"
"No, thank you," Rose politely declines, and I shrug, taking a drink from the bottle as I walk over to the living room, taking a seat on the couch. Rose sits a few cushions over from me.
We sit in silence for a few moments. "I'm sorry," I finally say. "You're right. I was avoiding you."
Rose smiles sadly. "It's okay. I understand it. But... I'm here for you, you know. If you ever want to talk about it. You were there for me when Carter died. I'll never forget that."
I gulp. "I-I should have been there more. Once I lost the baby..." I take another drink. "It's hard for me to see them. Babies."
Rose holds out her swaddled child. "Lily always liked you," She says hopefully.
Begrudgingly, I take the child. She stares up at me, blinking a few times. "She's gotten so big," I mutter.
Rose smiles. "Have you and Cain been trying for another one?"
I flinch. "Yes," I answer quietly, staring at the baby. "It may not ever happen but... We're trying."
"You two would be good parents, you know," Rose reassures me.
I swallow thickly. "Carter would have been a good father. I'm... sorry. That I didn't protect him. I should have-"
"Stop," Rose says gently. "He would have given his life for you a thousand times over. I know that he's watching Lily and I from above in the afterlife."
I'm not sure how successful I am in holding in my grimace. It's not like I believe in any kind of afterlife, but if that's what she needed to tell herself, far be it from me to discredit her beliefs.
"He would have been proud of you, you know," Rose says as the baby wraps its hand around my finger. "He would be happy to see how far you and Cain have come. He always knew you both were destined for great things."
I feel sick. Please come back, I can't do this, I beg Cain. Talking about Carter, about babies- its too much. I need to kill something or throw up- I'm not sure which.
Cain comes into the room a few minutes later, and I exhale in relief as he sits next to me. "Hello, Rose. I hope Ares isn't giving you too hard of a time."
Rose laughs as I scowl. "Not at all! It's so nice to see the two of you together."
I make a face, taking another drink from the bottle. Cain and Rose make small talk while Cain bounces the pup slightly, and the baby coos adoringly. Yep, I'm going to be sick.
"I'm not feeling well," I say curtly as I stand up. "Nice seeing you, Rose."
Rose scrambles to her feet, surprising me as she pulls me in for a hug. "You too, Ares. Maybe next week you could join Cain and I?"
My eyebrows furrow. "Join you and Cain?"
She nods, but I can see that she's surprised I don't know what she's talking about. "Cain comes for lunch every Wednesday afternoon. Since Carter passed."
My heart constricts. Oh, Cain. Of course he does. He has a soft spot for pups, and prioritizes taking care of the females in the pack.
"Yeah, maybe," I say before leaving, though I have no intention of following through. Some things are just too difficult to face, even for me.
Once I'm in our room, I immediately go to the bathroom to throw up. Cain finds me a few minutes later laying on the floor, the cold tiles cooling my flushed skin. He pulls me into his arms, and places me gently on the bed, though he doesn't release me.
"I'm sorry," Cain apologizes lowly. "I didn't know you would react like that."
I grind my teeth. "I'm fine." Never show weakness- every Alpha knows this. Conceal your emotions at all costs. Cain had already seen me at my weakest- and he didn't even know the worst of it.
"Don't do that, Ares," Cain warns. "You can't hide. Not from me."
Grimacing, I sit up. "I said I'm fine. We need to prepare for the meeting. I have a few maps I've made to-"
"Stop. We need to talk about this."
I laugh incredulously. "There's nothing to talk about! What do you want me to say, Cain? You want me to tell you about how guilty I feel about Carter? About the fact that I can't give you an heir? There isn't anything to fucking talk about, Cain. I don't want to talk about it. About any of it."
Cain looks at me in surprise. "Ares, I'm your mate. We have to talk about these things! I know you're upset about our pup but-"
"You think talking will help, but it won't. Nothing will change if we have a heart to heart," I sneer. "You want to help me? Then don't ever fucking bring up our pup ever again."
Cain's face twists in pain, and I almost feel guilty for snapping at him, but he had no right to ambush me like that with Rose. There was no way he didn't know what that would do to me.
All emotion is wiped off his face as he stands up. "Go to sleep," He commands, his voice stoic. "I'll wake you up before the meeting."
He leaves without saying another word, without turning back.
My tears soak his pillow.