Layla
I turn my chair to stare into my office window as the pen between my fingers drums into the desk. I got up early today, had a healthy breakfast, got here on time determined to come up with a plan to present to the board for our next meeting, but as soon as I opened the laptop I couldn't do anything. I keep thinking about Hamdan and how it felt when his hands landed on my back. Goosebumps erupted all over my skin and there was nothing I wanted more than to squeeze him between my arms and ask him to never let me go.
Yes, I like to be on my own, I have lived alone for awhile, a lot of times I travel by myself, I come and go without even consulting with anyone if I should or should not do something. I always do as I please. However, I'd be lying if I said that I never get lonely. At night, when I go into bed I wish there was someone I could share my life with, someone I could talk to about my day and things that go through my mind. And that someone usually has a face and a name.
When we hugged I felt his protectiveness again, for one or two seconds everything was like before but that didn't last long.
Why did he have to go and try to talk to me? Nothing good could come out of the two of us talking after what happened. I rehearsed everything inside my head one thousand times, I was going to be cool and nice, treat him like I treat everyone else and all would have turned out perfectly if he had just done the same. But no, the over achiever in him could not let things go and I don't think I can have a conversation with him without breaking down into tears. I had no choice but to become defensive and when he said he was sorry... That really set me off.
I'm sorry, Layla.
He has got some nerve simply saying he was sorry, I don't recall feeling so angry in the past eight years and of course, it had to be him who made me feel that way. I remember how I waited and waited for him to say something, anything to me but that never happened and to try to apologize until now is offensive more than anything.
I still have so many questions though, it doesn't make any sense that he's still--
A soft knock on the glass door brings me back to reality and I spin around on my chair. A petite girl in black abaya and hijab waves excitedly at me.
Is it 10 a.m. already? I look at my phone. It's 9:57 a.m., actually. I signal her to come in and stand up to greet her.
"Good morning, miss Roberts." She walks fastly, holding a folder in her arm. "I'm Reem Al Shamsi." Extending her hand to me, she showcases two rows of white teeth with her smile, framed by full lips with rose-colored lipstick.
"Nice to meet you, Reem." I smile back a lot less wider. "Take a seat."
She puts her designer bag on the empty chair next to her and I don't even know how to start this job interview, I've never done one before. She bats her eyelashes at me and my mind goes blank until she does a little jump as if she had just remembered something.
"Oh! Here's my CV."
Thankfully. I take the folder and start reading. She's 25 and apparently a perfect student.
"You graduated from the British University here in Dubai.". I state casually, because I think that's what a potential boss would say.
"Yes, one of the best in my class." She boasts.
I glance over at her, she's sitting with her back straight and her eyes traveling back and forward from me to the CV. She's got a lot of energy, of the good kind.
"Mr. Hanafi told me that you have an outstanding performance here on DMI in the marketing department, right?"
Maktoum's assistant spoke highly of her and I liked the idea of hiring someone from within since I have no idea how things work around here, my hope is that she can also guide me somehow, because I refuse to take each single one of my questions to Maktoum.
"He's very kind and I'm very grateful for the opportunity that DMI has given me. I started to work here as an intern before I even graduated." She explains.
I'm done with the stiffness, this feels very unlike me and I usually can read people well during casual conversations, so I close the folder and push it to the side.
"Your makeup looks flawless, Reem. Did you do it yourself?"
Her face turns serious at first and then it starts lighting up again.
"Yes!" She replies. "It's just a hobby."
"I have never been good with makeup, I barely know how to put mascara on."
She giggles. "I learned with online tutorials, and I love doing my friend's makeup too but it's just a hobby."
That's the second time she makes it clear that it's just a hobby, this is what I meant about truly getting to know people by casually talking to them.
"You wouldn't want to be a professional makeup artist?" I wonder.
Her perfect eyebrows go up on her forehead and her dark eyes twinkle with joy, but her happiness seems to leave her as she exhales.
"My parents don't think that makeup could be a serious career."
I lean back on my chair. "What? Do I even have to mention Huda? Or Bobbi Brown?"
"They are so amazing! But you know, it's not for me, I'm not like them."
"I wasn't aware that they came from Mars." I joke.
Reem covers her laugh with her hand. "What do you mean?"
"That they are human, Reem! They are women like you and me."
"Of course." She waves her hand dismissively. "But that kind of success doesn't happen to girls like me."
"Reem, I just--"
I just cannot endure a girl actually believing that her own dreams are not meant to be real, that's what happens.
"I'm sorry." I apologize. "Sometimes I can be overbearing and come off as noisy."
She smiles shyly, her sight falls down to her lap and I decide to change the subject.
"Why would you like to work with me?"
That's one of the questions I remember from my own interviews.
She shifts on her seat. "Well, miss Roberts--"
"Call me Layla." I interrupt.
"Well, Layla..." She says my name in a whisper. "I think the project you're here to develop is very interesting and important. I do feel that female voices are not enough in the media or sometimes we are not very well represented. Besides, Mr. Hanafi said that you studied in London and used to live in New York and I have never been outside the Gulf. I think I could learn a lot from you."
This girl is too big for this little Emirate, as great as it is.
"Right now, I don't think there's a good enough reason for us to make a work trip to London, but maybe we can come up with something." I wink.
She takes her hand to the chest. "Are you saying that-- Am I--"
"You're hired, Reem."
She jumps from her seat, then sits down and then she's up again and I don't know what to do.
Reem takes a deep breath and sits down for good. "Thank you so much! I promise you I'll do my best!"
"I feel that we're going to make a great team."
And my intuition better be right because I still feel kind of lost in this new job.
"And your first task will be... you might want to write this down." I advise.
"Oh! Yes!" She begins digging in her bag and retrieves a notepad and a pen.
"What do we do to make this official? Do I have to send something to Human Resources? And I don't know how much they are paying you right now but you're getting a raise because Reem..."
I wait until she looks at me.
"We have a ton of work to do." I state slowly, making a pause between each word.
She nods and continues writing.
"The next board meeting is in two weeks and we need to present a plan of what we're going to do and how we are going to launch this program." I stand up and start pacing by the window. "I want to make a big announcement so every woman in Dubai that is interested in participating can summit her CV, idea or her own project and we must gather a team here, inside DMI that would be in charge of making an evaluation and choosing the best participants."
I spin around and Reem keeps writing on her notepad.
"I'm really excited, Reem." I smile.
She smiles back at me. "Me too!"
This is the energy I was looking for and this is exactly what I need, something I can focus on instead of thinking about the past.
"Another important task." I continue. "We need to redecorate this place." With my index finger I make a circle to signal the entire office. "I don't feel inspired here, we need something more feminine. That thing behind my chair; I hate it. I don't even know whose books are those. And your desk... " I point at Reem's working space visible through the glass wall, right outside my office. "We need to change that too, it's so boring. Find an awesome decorator that can be in charge of doing all that."
"Perfect!" Reem stands up. "I'll go back to my old desk to get my stuff and say good-bye."
"Oh my god! I didn't even think about that!" I clasp my hand to my forehead. "What about your boss? Do you need to take a couple days to finish your work there?"
Reem tilts her head to the side. "I don't think so. I mean, it's you."
"Me?"
"You're like a sister to Sheikh Maktoum, there was a big fuss when everyone found out that you were going to work here."
"Really?" I grimace.
"I'm really sorry about your parents and brother."
What can I say? Dubai is very small and my family is very big and famous. I'm used to the anonymity a city like New York provides, but I suppose here I need to be more aware of this and get used to strangers knowing about me and my life, even more so now that I have a public position in the government.
Reem leaves the office to get her stuff and I'm alone with the knot in my stomach thinking about our big launch. I have a vision of a grand event because that's how things are done here, but I hadn't thought about probably having to speak in front of an audience. I mean, I have to do it, right? I'm the head of this thing. I have spoken publicly before but now I feel a huge weight on my shoulders because I'm representing so much more and my siblings seem to do it so well.
I breathe deeply. One time. Two times. Three times.
Everything will be fine, I'll prepare myself, I trust myself and I know I can do this. I will really concentrate on it and stop wasting my time, this is priority number one, other aspects of my life can wait.
---
I can promise you one thing; you will love Reem :)
I forgot to mention it but if you spot any mistake or typo (I'm sure there's plenty, it's not like I have an editor) please tell me. Some authors get annoyed by that but I appreciate it.
Thank you for reading!
Love,
Sophie.