Braxton led Micheal upstairs to his bedroom and gently shut the door behind them. He was sure that the others noticed, but he hoped they'd assume it was nothing. "What's wrong Darling?"
"You're all so used to that..." Micheal said, "Talking about self harm as though it's normal and not a symptom of mental illness." Braxton nodded, he knew that explaining this to Micheal would come someday, he sat down on his bed. Braxton's bedroom was clearly shared by two people. Half the decorations had blue and gold while the other half focused on silvers and purples. There were two beds, one with white sheets with blue polka dots that Braxton was currently sitting on. And one with black sheets that had a pentacle on them. Salem's altar was at the foot of his bed. The room had two dressers, one with many different crystals on it and one that had books about self care, and multiple notebooks and pencils. The room was a beautiful blend of Braxton and Salem, something that both supplied both unease and comfort for Micheal.
"Sit next to me Mike?" Braxton said quietly. Micheal did so. "I know to you the fact that's such a... I wouldn't say casual but comfortable conversation for us is worrisome. To you self harm is strange, it's a sign someone needs help. And it still is, self harm isn't taken... lightly to us. But it's... not so much normal but expected."
"Did you self harm?" Micheal asked Braxton.
Braxton nodded slightly, "When I was questioning my gender and still thought I was a cis female. I would burn my legs. I was already smoking pot back then so the fact I had a lighter didn't raise concern for anyone. That was until Levi dragged us all to the beach one day and I was wearing a bikini." Micheal was looking at Braxton, the thought of him hurting made Micheal's heart ache. "Salem got me to stop, mostly because he sat me down and explained that it was stupid to do it. He also validated my dysphoria... which... is funny to think of since more often than not he is the one to say something to trigger it."
"I don't want you hurt," Micheal said softly, "I don't like the thought of you hurting... be it from yourself or someone else."
A small smile spread on Braxton's face, "I know Darling. But to us... it's expected that someday people will try it. I wouldn't be surprised to find scars on Austin from them, same with Ryan. It's a common response to trauma. It brings the pain that people can't see to the surface. It's not... good. No one should hurt themselves, same as no one should try to kill themselves. But when you're in pain the brain doesn't care about your morals or your logic. Not to mention a lot of people just enjoy pain."
"How can people enjoy hurting?"
"You'd be surprised," Braxton said, "I don't know how exactly. I'm pretty sure it's because pain can release dopamine just like drugs can. They get addicted. Salem probably would know more."
Micheal wasn't really surprised, "Salem enjoys pain?"
"He avoids it, but yeah," Braxton said, "It's part of why I was willing to punch him. It's less that he would enjoy it, more so it would release dopamine and boost his mood."
"I'd half say it sounds like Ryan," Micheal said, "I think he doesn't enjoy it and that he just constantly gets hurt accidentally."
"Or he's used to pain and feels uncomfortable out of it," Braxton replied, "I'd place high bets on his previous trauma being physical abuse. He seems to understand Salem in a way only someone who had something similar could. Same with Salem to Austin."
"You know that he thinks Maddox is sexually abused right?"
Braxton nodded, "Yeah, I know. That still makes sense, Salem and Ryan don't seem to immediately be able to understand Maddox the way they have to each other and Austin. Not much we can do right now."
Micheal sighed and looked down, "Do you think they'll want to be helped?"
"Yeah, they do want to be. We just... can't yet. We don't know for sure about Maddox and would need more evidence than the claims of highschool boys."
"I thought that maybe next time they are hurt... we take photos..." Micheal said, "Like if Salem's dad gives him a black eye we take a picture of it to use in court."
"Yeah that would help," Braxton said, "Bring it up to them. Later though." Micheal nodded in agreement. Braxton gently lifted Micheal's chin with a finger, "Understand a bit more now?"
Micheal nodded, "Yeah. Thank you Angel."
"You're welcome darling," Braxton replied. Micheal gently took Braxton's left hand and looked at the simple ring on his left ring finger. He kissed it softly. "You're so cute Micheal."
Micheal smiled, "Do you think they'd call us dumb?"
"Probably," Braxton said, "How often do you see two high schoolers date for two weeks and then get engaged? They are all probably expecting Salem and Gabe or Adrian and Shawn to get engaged first."
"They don't even think we're dating," Micheal said.
Braxton smiled, "Exactly. I don't regret it though."
"You're happy I asked after only two weeks?" Micheal asked, "I was surprised you accepted at all."
"It's dumb isn't it," Braxton said, "Dating you for such a short time and already wanting to spend the rest of my life with you. The thought of marrying you fills all of my dreams, and I love you so much. So much about you means so much to me. From the little things you do like calling me any male term, to you going all out whenever someone insults me."
"You've never seen me do that."
"I heard that you punched the quarterback when he was calling me a trap and tranny," Braxton said, "Lucas told me."
"I didn't quite want you knowing I'd do that," Micheal said, "I don't want you thinking I'm aggressive."
Braxton chuckled, "Micheal, you can be aggressive, it won't faze me. I grew up being Salem's friend. Besides, you being aggressive would be cute."
"Aggression is cute to you?" Micheal asked, "Man you're more messed up than I thought."
Braxton rolled his eyes and kissed Micheal, "Maybe I am." Micheal smiled and pulled Braxton onto his lap, Braxton chuckled lightly. "You're stronger than you look darling."
"Same goes to you Angel," Micheal said, "Didn't expect you to be able to carry Adrian." Braxton kissed Micheal. Micheal's eyes closed and he kissed Braxton back, one of their hand's ending up in Braxton's messy brown hair. His other hand grabbing Braxton's.
Braxton pulled back, "They probably think we're fucking up here."
"I'm not opposed," Micheal said.
Braxton rolled his eyes, "Sorry dear. I don't want them down there alone for too long."
Micheal smiled, "Alright Angel."
"A little bit longer won't hurt though," Braxton said as he tucked his face close to Micheal's neck. "You're warm and I don't want to move."
Micheal chuckled and wrapped his arms around Braxton, "I won't make you move."
"I'll love you to the day I die," Braxton mumbled.
"Don't die anytime soon then."
"I promise I won't," Braxton said as he kissed Micheal's neck softly. His soft lips barely grazing Micheal's warm skin.
Micheal smiled, "Good. Because I don't know what I'd do without you."
"Probably dedicate your life to Leanna," Braxton answered.
"If I lived past the grief of losing you, yeah."
Braxton smiled softly, "We should probably head back down."
Micheal pouted, "Do we have to? This is nice. It's calm."
"Have to? No. Should we? Yes," Braxton said. Micheal lifted Braxton's chin to kiss him again. They wished they could spend their whole life kissing Braxton. It felt perfect, this felt perfect. Micheal could never explain it to someone, he could never explain how when Braxton's hand brushed against his own how his stomach turned into a gymnast. He could never explain how when Braxton climbed into his lap and curled up there how it felt like their body was finally complete and how it was meant to be. He could never explain how even in the hottest of weather, how cold he felt in Braxton's absence. "What are you thinking about Darling?"
"How much I love you Angel."
Braxton smiled, "I love you too Micheal. We really should head back though."
"Alright," Micheal agreed.
"Are you prepared for the jokes about us having a quickie?"
"Yeah." Braxton smiled and climbed off Micheal's lap, holding out a hand softly. Micheal took his hand and the two walked back down together.
Adrian looked at the two, "Man, you two are quiet. I'm surprised Braxton ever keeps his mouth shut."
"They didn't fuck," Salem said.
Braxton smirked, "You sure about that Salem?"
"Yeah," Salem said, "I've fucked you both and I know you couldn't stay that quiet even if gagged." Braxton couldn't help but laugh.
"You do have a point." Micheal and Braxton both sat back down, Braxton cuddled up close to Micheal. He didn't care what the others would say about it.
Shawn smiled, "You two are so cute." Adrian and Shawn were laying on the smaller couch, Adrian laying on top of Shawn mostly, Shawn's arms were wrapped around Adrian.
"And Zeek, Me, Gabe, and Salem are druggies, your point?" Braxton said, "Stating the obvious is dumb."
"I am not a druggie!" Gabe protested.
Salem chuckled, "Keep telling yourself that Gabriel." Gabe was sitting on Salem's lap curled up. While sitting like that it became even more apparent to Braxton that the two were completely different sizes with Gabe being small and skinny and Salem being tall and buff.
"I'm just now realizing that you guys represent every gay couple on tv ever," Braxton said.
Adrian raised an eyebrow, "Elaborate."
"Pastel and Punk which is a loved troupe in the media as well as the size difference that Gabe and Salem have. Basically full spectrum of media representation."
"Wrong," Adrian said, "None of us are feminine enough to basically be female to be straight passing."
"You have a point," Braxton said, "But hey, it's mostly there. Even down to the not being completely gay."
"Like any straight male white director in this world would know what Pansexual means," Adrian said, "Salem would be fine though."
Salem chuckled, "No. Because I'm not going to cheat like bi characters do. Just label Adrian as bi and it would all be fine."
"I think you mean you're not going to cheat this time," Lucas corrected.
"Fuck you," Salem said.
"See you are going to cheat," Lucas replied.
Salem glared at Lucas and got ready to start bitching him out, however Gabe intervened, "Salem it's not worth it."
"Whatever," Salem said, holding Gabe close.
Adrian nodded after processing what Salem said, "It's not cheating if Shawn gives me permission. Than it's just polygamy. And Shawn already knows I've considered that." Shawn nodded and hugged Adrian closer, it wasn't possessive. Just loving.
Zeek chuckled quietly, "Man I feel painfully single."
"Not my fault no one wants your druggie ass," Braxton replied, obviously joking with Zeek.
"Pretty sure the issue is more so I'm straight but yeah, sure."
Shawn raised an eyebrow, "Straight yet you slept with Salem?"
"How do you think I realized I was straight?" Shawn laughed at that.
Adrian nodded, "Gabe you have low standards."
"Oh I'm aware," Gabe said, "I'm not as annoyingly picky as you all."
"Me? Picky?" Adrian asked, "Absolutely not."
Shawn chuckled due to the thought, "Okay. Sure. Say that to my ex's you scared."
"...Adrian did what?" Levi asked his question followed by a short and dry cough.
"Held a knife to my ex-girlfriend's throat when she tried flirting with me," Shawn replied.
Micheal sighed and looked at them, "That's not picky that's fucking possessive."
"I'm very possessive, almost everyone knows this," Adrian said.
"Yeah no shit," Shawn said, "Had to learn how to use concealer thanks to you."
Braxton smiled and shook his head, happy for his friends but still admitting and accepting that they are annoying and extra. Micheal looked at Braxton, silently asking if they were always like this and Braxton nodded. It was easy for the others to miss the small smile that showed on Micheal's face, but Braxton saw it clearly. Not just in the way his lips twitched up slightly, but the way his hazel eyes shine with happiness. The happiness in Micheal's eyes was never something Braxton had noticed before, even if he wasn't around Micheal often before they grew close. Braxton had noticed that Micheal would have the widest of smiles and still have eyes that didn't show his happiness. He wondered if he was the one affecting his lover's happiness. Braxton didn't know for sure.
"Hey," Micheal said, "You're thinking again."
Braxton smiled at his lover, "Sorry. Your smile distracted me."
"GROSS!" Jaxson yelled jokingly, "Get a room!"
"Oh?" Braxton asked, "Are you sure?"
"Braxton Lynn Smith don't you fucking dare have sex while we are here!" Lucas shouted.
Micheal paused, "Your middle name is Lynn?"
"Never bothered finding a masculine middle name, usually isn't an issue," Braxton replied. He then turned to look at Lucas. "Who said I haven't already?"
"We know you haven't Brax," Salem replied.
Braxton raised an eyebrow, "Do you know that though?"
"Can you two like stop maybe?" Levi asked before coughing into his arm. "Because you two being at each other's throats has gotten old real quick. And I missed two weeks of that shit."
Braxton rolled his eyes, "Sure. Salem not fighting someone happens all the time though right?"
"Brax, shut it," Zeek sighed. Braxton sighed, but went quiet and stopped arguing. Micheal smiled softly and hugged Braxton. Truthfully they all knew why Braxton had been more aggressive than normal, but none of them would say it and risk pissing him off more. Micheal, as well as Braxton's old friends, researched the effects hormone treatments could have. They all learned fairly quickly that testosterone leads to increased aggression.
That was about all that was happening to Braxton, his new testosterone shots were increasing his aggression as well as helping his features turn more masculine. Micheal knew that Braxton knew this as well, Braxton wouldn't have agreed to using the shots unless he knew all the effects it could have. "Brax," Micheal whispered to his lover, "Maybe Salem is taking T shots as well with how fucking aggressive he is." Braxton laughed at that, which the other's all raised an eyebrow at.
"You two talking shit?" Salem asked.
Micheal looked at Salem, "Basically. You should be used to that by now."
"Fair enough Mike," Salem replied, he smiled softly. Micheal sighed softly as he successfully de-escalated the room. The others all returned to light-hearted banter, quickly ignoring Salem and Braxton's almost fight. Braxton was calm again and content cuddled up to Micheal. Something that Micheal was beyond grateful for. Braxton's eyes were darting from person to person, and Micheal couldn't figure out why.
Braxton's eyes eventually landed on Levi, his gaze wasn't harsh or anything. Braxton was observing. Micheal had no clue what his boyfriend was looking for, and doubted he would know until Braxton said something about it. Micheal chose to look at Levi subtly as well, to try and figure it out himself. Levi didn't seem off in any way to him, he was sitting with Jaxson. Jaxson had his arm around Levi and Levi's head was resting on Jaxson's shoulder. Levi was scratching at his left cheek and on the left side of his neck periodically. Micheal could tell it was strange behavior, but he couldn't quite pinpoint what it was. "Are you okay Levi?" Braxton asked, not taking his eyes off of his younger friend.
"Yeah," Levi said, "I'm fine."
Braxton shook his head no, "What is it? You're scratching again."
"Fuck you and your hyper vigilant ass."
"Levi," Braxton's voice turned softer. "What's wrong?"
Levi seemed genuinely upset that Braxton was able to figure him out so quickly, "Stopping cold turkey."
Braxton's face fell quickly, "Levi what the fuck? Look we aren't your parents or anything but you have to tell us that kind of thing."
Levi's first response was a cough, "Yeah thanks Brax."
"So," Lucas started, "You're telling me the only thing needed to get Levi to stop smoking is Jaxson?"
"Yep basically!" Levi said.
Zeek paused, "That's going to be a few to many people having temporary aggression and irritability issues."
"Hey!" Salem objected.
"I said temporary Moore. Shut up," Zeek said.
"Could be worse," Adrian said, "Brax could be trying to stop smoking as well."
Braxton laughed, "I think the fuck not."
"Yeah I value fucking living," Maddox replied. Braxton laughed lightly.
Ryan looked at them, "Braxton can't be that bad when sober."
"Yes he fucking can!" Lucas said, "He's a fucking monster when sober."
"Ouch," Braxton said. Clutching his chest in fake hurt.
"He's not wrong though Braxie," Zeek said. "I mean, you could get a medical licence if you wanted one."
Braxton nodded in acknowledgement, "Fair enough."
"I mean, all it does to Zeek is make him actually fucking eat for once," Salem said.
"And lucky you not having a reaction," Gabe remarked about his boyfriend, rolling his eyes. Salem smiled and hugged Gabe.
"I have a reaction, it's called I don't physically fight people as often."
Braxton raised an eyebrow, "And by people you mean Lucas and Zeek right?"
"I'm curious," Austin said quietly, "How long have you been smoking?"
Zeek paused counting in his head, "Braxton's moms gave it to us. But he was smoking by the time me and Salem picked it up."
"I've been smoking since like... probably 8 for aggression issues," Braxton said.
Lucas nodded, "Yeah seems right. You had been smoking for years by the time I had befriended you Brax."
"...A long time," Braxton said simply before laughing lightly. "It's not uncommon though. Especially with pot being legalized all over America."
"Okay but alcohol is also legal that doesn't condone being an alcoholic," Shawn replied. Gabe rolled his eyes, but didn't say anything.
Micheal caught it however, "Don't you dare indicate that Gabe."
"I did not indicate a single fucking thing."
Adrian raised his hand slightly, "Can I indicate something?"
"No!" Shawn said, grabbing Adrian's hand, "Shut the fuck up babe."
Micheal sighed, "You know, out of everyone in our group. I am not surprised it's you two to have addictions." Shawn and Gabe both glared as the group laughed.
"Hey, don't worry," Ryan said, "With Micheal and Braxton's situation he'll be joining you two."
"No I won't be!" Micheal objected.
Salem laughed, "Good luck with that Micheal. Braxton somehow makes it alluring. At least enough to get Lucas to smoke more than once." Lucas shrugged at the memory.
"Really?" Ryan asked, surprised about Lucas smoking.
"Keep in mind, I said the group had addictions, and that the group had assault charges, and the group had 31 attempts," Lucas said, "I do class myself with them."
"Seeing as you were the first charged with assault you fucking better," Adrian said.
Micheal looked beyond bewildered. "It was a dude raping a girl. I wasn't going to stand by and let that happen so I beat the guy up and knocked him out. He filed charges, and narrowly avoided Adrian putting a bullet between his eyes."
"Should Adrian even be allowed a gun?" Austin asked.
Adrian chuckled softly, "It's practically required for my job."
"What do you even do for work?" Zeek asked Adrian.
Adrian shook his head softly and ran his fingers through his hair briefly, "Don't worry about it."
"Why are you nervous Addy?" Braxton asked him. Adrian looked at him and brushed his hair back from his face again.
"I'm not nervous."
"Quit fixing your hair then."
"Fuck you," Adrian said simply.
Ryan looked at Braxton, "That's creepy dude. How the hell do you notice that?"
"I know all their nervous habits, it means they can't lie to me," Braxton answered.
Lucas chuckled, "Sure whatever you say Dad."
Braxton looked at Ryan, "They're all nervous. Mostly Adrian and Salem right now though."
Salem stopped biting his lip on instinct, knowing Braxton noticed that. "Really?" Ryan asked.
"Yeah," Braxton said, "Salem bites the skin off his lips and Adrian fixes his hair. I knew something was up with Levi because he kept scratching his cheek and neck. If you look at Lucas' hands you can tell he's been anxious for a while now."
"Okay, how dare you," Lucas said. "My hands aren't that bad right now."
"They are healing from you basically shredding them while Levi was in the hospital though."
"True, true."
Ryan looked at Braxton, "How do you notice all that?"
"A magical thing called crippling anxiety," Braxton replied, "Hell even before I was talking with Micheal I knew exactly the order you guys sat at during lunch."
"Do you know our nervous habits?" Shawn asked.
"Not yet, beyond Gabe's of fixing his ring," Braxton answered, "Oh, and Ryan counts his fingers."
Micheal chuckled softly, "At least yours are slightly non suspicious."
Gabe smiled, "Your's is really obvious Micheal. And frankly some of the funniest shit I've ever seen." Micheal rolled his eyes and ignored Gabe. "Honestly, Braxton could probably guess yours if he thought about it."
Braxton, of course, took that as a challenge and began thinking back to all the times he had seen Micheal nervous or anxious. There were two key times that Braxton could remember, the first time they talked, and when Micheal proposed. Braxton smiled softly and touched his engagement ring. "Mike stutters."
"When have you seen him nervous?" Ryan asked, "I don't think I've ever seen that."
"When we first talked and when he- and another time," Braxton said. He rubbed the back of his neck some.
"You're not the only observant one Braxton," Austin said quietly, "you two might as well come clean."
Braxton smiled at Austin, "You're too smart for your own good."
"It comes in handy, especially since I lose brain cells whenever I'm around Maddox."
Maddox laughed, "True."
Austin smiled softly, "Braxton tell them. They are your friends. They deserve to know."
"Know what?" Zeek asked.
Braxton smiled softly and rubbed the back of his neck, "Micheal et moi sommes fiancés."
"In English," Salem said.
Braxton looked at Micheal. Micheal kindly smiled at Braxton, a silent reassurance that he agreed with the idea and that Braxton should tell. Braxton cleared his throat some, "Micheal and I are engaged." The room went silent for a moment, and Braxton prepared for the worst.
Salem laughed, but not in a menacing way or laughing at them. "Me and Gabe have been together for two years, Adrian and Shawn have been together for three! But you two who have two weeks at best... Damn really putting the pressure on for me and Adrian huh?" Salem paused for a moment, but was smiling. A full genuine smile which was something they didn't see often from Salem. "Honestly, I'm surprised it took you two that long. You guys really are perfect for each other... and I mean that. Hell, Micheal was willing to choose you over his friends if they reacted poorly to you being trans Brax. Me and Gabe best be the best men though."
Braxton smiled, he didn't know why but Salem's approval meant a lot to him. Not that he'd ever tell that to Salem, something like that would go straight to Salem's ego. However, he'd always know that.
"Man I do be feeling single as fuck now," Zeek said.
Lucas smiled, "Can we form a club? You, Me, and Ryan."
"That would be a boring fucking club," Adrian commented, "Good for you guys though. Micheal you ever hurt Braxton and you'll need a wheelchair."
"Noted," Micheal said.
Gabe smirked, "So me being a witch and smoking pot is a big deal but this isn't? Fuck you Mike... I'm joking... Mostly."
"Do Brax's moms know?" Zeek asked. Micheal nodded.
Brax smiled, "Guys they are lesbians. They moved in together after the first date. This doesn't surprise them."
"Only people who get married faster than lesbians are military men," Maddox said.
"He does have a point," Salem said. Micheal nodded in agreement.
"Third best is apparently non cis couples," Lucas said.
Micheal shrugged, "I want forever with Brax."
"Aww gross!" Jaxson said. Levi laughed about it.
"You two will be next," Shawn said. Jaxson looked at Levi and nodded in agreement.
Adrian chuckled, "Me and Salem really do gotta pick up our game though."