With all that had happened yesterday, I went to the park to clear my head. Thankfully, my biology class was going on a camping trip today, and that meant no distractions for a week. It also meant that I could sneak off during the many hours of free time and be alone with my thoughts. I really needed this.
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When I got back, I finally knew what I had to do. I thought about a lot, did some serious self evaluation, and asked for advice from my trusted mentors. It wouldn’t be easy, but it was the right thing to do. I called in sick to school and told Andy that he should do the same. I asked him to meet me at the park so that we could talk.
“Hey Alyssa, What’s up?”
“Andy, can we sit?”
“Ya, sure. Is everything okay?”
“I’ve been thinking long and hard, and this is in no way easy to do but. Andy, it’s just that night that we went to the concert together and all this started, it made me think about our freshman year. I thought back to our friendship then and I began to dramatize everything that had happened and all of the feelings that were accompanied with that. I had always wanted a boyfriend, a guy who cared about me and my happiness, a guy who would take me on dates and spend hours talking with me. I always wanted this and you were the first guy who ever payed any attention to me. When you left school, ya it hurt but it also led me to romanticize who you were. I thought of what could have been and I was angry that it didn't happen. Honestly about eight months before we went to the concert I had given up hope on us every happening and I didn't mind that. My interests were different and I really wasn’t the same person anymore. But that night, things happened and found myself back where I was freshman year, three years ago. Inevitably we had both changed since then, but I was desperate to get back to where we were. I did this while compromising who I was, I had matured and changed since then but I began abandoning what I stood for. I was so glad that for once someone had felt the same way about me and I was ready to jump right in. You were so romantic and never stopped with the grand sweet surprises. We went on romantic dates and you gave me what most girls would kill for.Only I was lying to myself because not only had I changed but so had you. While everything you did was on a large scale, I missed just sitting and talking. Whenever I tried talking, you prevented the conversations from going anywhere. You said you loved me and wanted to make me happy, yet couldn't tell that I felt the opposite. Like the other night at sadies, you made me feel awful and for what? Just so that you could mess with David? Plus, I left that night and you didn't even try to come after me. It took three hours before you even called to make sure that I was ok. Even when I told you what was happening you didn’t seem to care or tried changing the subject. Yes, I loved it when we played on the beach and went bowling, but that’s not what I truly need. When I needed you most, you never showed up. The Andy I knew wouldn't have done that, but all this new Andy cares about is extravagant gifts and saying, “I love you.” I knew that you had changed but I ignored the red flags because I just wanted to be with someone. It was like I was in a movie, but that was the thing, it was all superficial. You were so sweet to me, but I was more in love with the idea of you and what you gave me, than just you, which is not how it should be. I’m not saying that I don’t appreciate all of what you did for me or that I didn't have fun, but I missed the simple days of just talking. I’ve grown up, but the last couple of months I haven’t been acting like I should, and I need to fix that.”
“Wow, Alyssa I should have known that something like this would happen. I’ve done so much for you and this is what I get. It seems like you want more of a friend than a boyfriend.”
“Exactly, Andy you should be my friend before anything else.”
“I don’t want to be your friend, I want more than that.”
“See, I don’t know why I didn’t realize this before. Your motives are totally different from mine and while they were once the same they no longer are.”
“You know what Alyssa? It sounds like you want a best friend and that’s not what I’m looking for.”
“You’re right, I want a best friend and I have one.”
“Wait, Alyssa. Where are you going? Fine, We’re through anyways.”
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It's Christmas Eve, and this is your second to last present from me. I know that this chapter is a little heavy, but I hope that you all enjoy. Please rememeber to comment to let me know what you think and if you want an Epilogue or even a sequel ;)