Zach
I didnt do anything wrong right?
Right?
Wrong.
I fucked up. Not because I was straight and totally not because I didnt kiss Alex back.
I'll admit, I panicked. Getting kissed by a guy was never a part of my bucket list before I graduate High school. Getting kissed by my guy best friend was also not a part of it.
I ticked off both of those faster than I lost my virginity.
I love Alex and I would take a bullet for him. But I never really see myself being with a guy romantically.
So I did what every sane guy would do. I panicked. I didnt went home after I dropped Alex at his place. I called Chloe, I didnt tell her what happened. I just told her that I needed to see her. I slept with her. It was a good night because I forgot about Alex Standall and his shitty feelings for me.
Was I disgusted? I dont know. But I could never hate Alex.
I wanted to get Alex off of my mind not because Im inlove with him but because Im not. Because I know he's hurting and I couldnt do anything about it.
But waking up beside Chloe didnt feel wonderful. We didnt drink any alcohol last night but I was greeted by a shitty headache. I felt a pang of pain strike my left temple.
I stood up. Chloe was still sleeping, wearing nothing but a blanket covering her bare body. She transfered school after everything that happened last school year but we decided to continue seeing each other.
Do I love Chloe? I think so. Do I see myself marrying her someday? Im not so sure. All I know is that I like seeing her and I do enjoy sleeping with her.
I didnt want to wake her up so I just sent her a text message that I need to go home and take a shower.
First day of school as a senior. Why am I suddenly nervous? I practically own the whole campus now. Everyone knows me at this point, I may not be the quarterback but I am an integral part of the football team. Why the fuck am I nervous?
Alex Standall. Ofcourse.
I told him I could never hate him which is true but Im starting to overthink how I would act around him. Should I change and respect his walls? Or should I act as if nothing happened and still be his best friend?
Thank God I dont have any classes with Alex today so the only time I would see him is during breaks and after school. I dont want to avoid him but Im still thinking on how to act around him.
I always drive Alex home but that means we would be alone in my car.
Fuck that.
Alex is my best friend I shouldnt be thinking too much about this.
Face it. I thought to myself.
I headed for my locker which is a few lockers away from Alex's locker. Usually Alex would be here, waiting for me, we would chat for a bit and walk to our classrooms. But today was not an ordinary day. Something happened last night. Something that maybe I didnt handle that well.
Someone touched my back. I wanted it to be Alex so bad. It wasnt him. It was Charlie, our football team's Quarterback.
"Zachy," Charlie said. He was nice, probably too nice sometimes. A huge smile was forming on his mouth. "Coach said to meet him after school."
"Did he tell you why?" I asked, frowning.
"No idea," He patted my shoulder and looked on his watch. "See you later Zachy."
The bell finally rang. I have a few classes with Jessica and I have the same class schedule with Clay.
"Hey man," Clay nodded at me. "How's vacation?"
"Fine," I lied. Not exactly, the other half of my vacation was actually nice. I got to hang out with Alex most of the time and then went on a few dates with Chloe. But last night changed everything for me. Getting kissed by your best friend who you dont have feelings for was not exactly how I wanted to end my vacation. "Yours?"
"Boring," Clay exhaled. "Visited Justin on rehab a few times. Played video games. That was it."
"That doesnt sound so bad. When is Justin coming back?" I asked softly, I didnt want to sound nosy but Justin is my friend too. He is battling drug addiction and all of us have been very supportive for his recovery. The last time I saw Justin Foley, he looked depressed and unhealthy but that time he also promised us that he'll fight to retrieve his life back.
If it was hard on us, his friends, Im sure it was harder for Clay and his parents. I missed the guy.
"Two more we-" Clay's excitement was interrupted by our teacher.
"Mr. Jensen and Mr. Dempsey," She scowled at us. I bit my lower lip. Fighting the urge to laugh on her face. I looked at Clay and his face was crimsin red. "I would appreciate it if the both of you listen to my lesson."
Who even start their lesson on the first day of class?
"Sure maam." I replied to my teacher goofilly. She just rolled her eyes and continued her lesson. I received a kick from Clay while mouthing the phrase shut the fuck up.
The dreaded lunch break came earlier than expected. Okay, I'll just act normal right? I dont want my confusion to confuse Alex even more.
Our usual lunch table was packed. Jessica was busy laughing with Tony. Clay was beside his girlfriend, Ani, who was drinking something weird from her customized flask. Tyler was talking to me about his recent photography project but my ears were just vomiting his words. Where is Alex? He's the only person missing from our group, aside from Justin.
"Have you guys seen Alex?" I asked, a little too loud. Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at me.
"I havent seen him yet." Jessica responded.
"He was in my first class," Tyler added. "We didnt get to talk though because our teacher made our seating arrangement alphabetically ordered. Down. Standall."
"There he is." Ani said with her thick british accent. She pointed towards the cafeteria door.
And there he was. Carrying a tray, with a box of milk and a salad on top of it. He walked towards us. He seems normal. Thats good right?
"Sorry Im late guys," Alex placed the tray he was holding on the table. "My english teacher basically cornered me and forced me to join his stupid christian club."
"And?" Jessica was waiting for his answer. Actually all of us were.
"I told him I was an atheist." Alex gulped on his box of milk.
"You're an atheist? How come I didnt know that?" Clay's eyebrows looked like they wanted to fistbump each other.
"Im not," Alex giggled. Why does he look like he didnt even think about what happened last night? "I just dont want to join any stupid club on my senior year."
A few minutes passed and I finally noticed something weird. Alex was trying to avoid my gaze.
"How was your first day so far?" I took the initiative to break the invisible tension.
"Good," Alex took a spoonful of his salad. "Yours?"
"Same." I could feel my palms sweating. This doesnt feel right. I failed at cutting the tension but thank God our friends were too busy on their conversations that they didnt pick up the weird awkwardness betweem me and Alex.
Think of something Zach. Think of a topic. Ask him about last night. Oh shit. I cant ask him that.
"Oh," I scratched the back of my head. That caught Alex's attention for the first time today, he looked into my eyes. "Is it okay if you wait for me after class?"
"Dont worry. I can just take the bus." Alex shrugged it off, acting like it was no big deal.
"No I insist. Its probably just a ten minutes meeting with coach," I smiled at him. I dont even know why I was nervous, Alex is my best friend. "Just wait for me at the parking area after class."
"Okay." Our conversation ended there. It wasnt that bad, I thought. I took a deep breath and exhaled every doubts I had inside. Things will go back to normal. Slowly.
The meeting was not a ten minutes meeting. It went for an hour and thirty minutes. Coach wanted me to help him assess the new students that auditioned for the football team.
"Why did you ask for my help coach?" I asked. I wiped the sweat on my forehead using my arm. "Why not Charlie?"
"Because Charlie is a great player," Coach admitted. He was writing names of students that passed the first try out. "But I trust your instinct more Zach."
Oh shit. Alex.
I ran to the bleachers and aggressively opened my bag. I took out my phone.
6 missed calls from Alex Standall.
Fuck.
I grabbed my bag and notified our coach that I had to go because of an emergency. He understood and told me to take care. A white lie. Its better than disappointing Alex once again.
The parking area was almost empty. A few cars from these privileged kids were left. I looked around, panting from running as fast as I could. Alex is nowhere to be seen.
"Zach?"
It wasnt Alex. It was Tony.
"Why are you still here?" I didnt answer him.
"Have you seen Alex?" I asked Tony. He didnt seem to mind that I didnt answer his question first.
"Yeah," Tony nodded his head, remembering. "Saw him with Charlie a few minutes ago. He probably gave him a ride."
I should be happy that Alex got home safely and that somebody gave him a ride instead of waiting for me. Alex is my best friend, but knowing that a guy like Charlie St. George could steal him away from me left a bitter taste in my mouth.
-
Who do you guys ship more? Zalex (Zach and Alex), Chalex (Charlie and Alex) or Walex (Winston and Alex)?
Also im thinking of just including Clustin (Clay and Justin) here as minor characters but would you guys like it if I make another book about them, like a spinoff to this one? Where they all crossover each other's story?
Tell me what you think.
- G