"There is a time to wait.
There is a time to act.
There is a time to say what you feel and a time to hold back.
There is a time to let go and a time to hold on.
There is a time to feel and there is always time to heal.
Wherever you go and whatever you do, life will always make time for you.
Time to heal and time to feel,
time to hold on,
time to let go,
time to hold back and time to speak,
time to act and time to wait
but no matter where you go or what you do,
always remember to close you eyes...
...search your heart...
...and just breathe."
Two hands came together, filling Riley's small room with a light sound of applause. She smiled back at Dr. Linda and lowered the notebook in her hands. It had been almost one year since her last breakdown, one year since she last tried to kill herself and one year since she last saw Jonathan.
She changed a lot in one year.
She accepted help and she had grown stronger.
Her heart was lighter and her hair didn't have as many split ends.
Most people around the hospital would have said that she went through a complete transformation, but she wasn't so sure she believed that. Then again, she wasn't sure she could have believed any different.
She felt better than she had in a very long time, she felt happy even.
She hadn't spoken to her mom in nearly a year but, unfortunately, she had to say that it was for the best. She wasn't sure what made her mother decide to just let her go but whoever she had to thank for her mother's sudden transformation, she was eternally grateful.
Recently, Riley's discovered a new interest in writing. Dr. Linda suggested she find some way of expressing herself. Dr. Linda said that was most likely why she called the crisis center so much, talking was a way for Riley to express how she was feeling and, at times, express her anger towards her mother through sarcasm. Riley went through a whole slew of different techniques for expressing her inner demons; painting, music, dancing even but then she was re-introduced to the one thing she had forgotten all about; the one thing she loved more than anything...writing. She wrote anything, everything; poems, stories, journals and sometimes, she wrote letters. These letters were all addressed to the same person and not one of them had left her bedside table. They remained hidden in a drawer as if they were some forbidden secrets she didn't dare disturb.
Not a day went by that she didn't think about him but then she remembered that he had probably forgotten all about her and suddenly, along with her thoughts, came that feeling of not being able to breathe.
"I am very proud of you, Riley. You have found a way to communicate your feelings and thoughts and I must say...it's beautiful. You have a natural talent and I think it's ready to enter the world."
Riley stared at Dr. Linda's large smile a moment before finally processing what she was saying. "I'm free to go? I'm fixed?" The words coming out of her mouth sounded childish.
Dr. Linda stood in front of her with a sweet smile and placed a hand on her shoulder. "You never needed to be fixed, Riley. You just needed an outlet for your fears and all that pain you've been keeping bottled up. Never stop writing, never stop letting people in but never let anyone make you feel the way your mother made you feel all those years. Remember, you're life is worth living...all you have to do is just breathe and believe it's going to turn out okay."
"Thank you," Riley said softly and wrapped her small arms around Dr. Linda's shoulders. She made a lot of friends that year in the treatment center side of the hospital and Dr. Linda was one of them. It was hard saying goodbye, but she was excited to leave at the same time. Being in treatment for nearly a year gave Riley a lot of time to think about where she wanted to go when she got out and Riley knew exactly where she was always destined to end up.
~~~
"Thirty....twenty-nine....twenty-eight..." It had been eleven months since he had heard from her, but every day he counted, he counted the seconds hoping his phone would ring at the very last minute. He knew she wasn't going to call, she hadn't for eleven months but every day he hoped and every day he gave her one more second. He stared at the clock on the wall, waiting for the second hand to pass the twelve just one more time. It was his last day at the crisis hotline center and he had finished up his work at the treatment center last week. He couldn't believe it had been a year. Time had gone by so fast but, for some reason, it felt like he had just seen Riley. Her face was this clear picture in his mind, reminding him to keep moving and hoping despite the odds. He finally stood up from his desk after the hand had gone around once more and began pulling on his jacket that was draped over his chair.
"Mr. Grey."
Jonathan spun around to find the overly peppy lady who had shown him to his cubicle on his first day of community service. Her name was Heather Terrance and she was actually a very sweet lady who he had come to know quite well over the last twelve months.
"Hello, Heather." Jonathan grinned back at her and stepped out of his cubicle.
"I'm sad you're going to be leaving us, Jonathan. You've been really great to have around." Heather said honestly.
"Thanks, Heather, and I was actually thinking that I might come back in and volunteer some time. I think I still have a lot more to do here." Jonathan smiled back at her and he could feel that she understood exactly what he meant.
"Well, that's great, we are lucky to have you." Giving him a simple pat on the back, she turned to disappear down the hall.
Jonathan turned back to his desk and noticed how barren it suddenly looked. The phone, a few sticky notes and a stress ball were about the only three things on the desk. He smiled for a moment before grasping the stress ball in the palm of his hand. It may have been silly, but Jonathan felt somehow attached to the stupid thing. He spun the small object around in his hands and noticed something on one side he hadn't seen before. He sat back down at the desk and flipped on the light to see the small words written in black ink.
Jacob Reynolds
Before Jonathan could fully understand just what the letters meant, his phone began ringing. He just sat there a moment and in that one moment, his heart skipped a beat. He slowly reached his hand forward, his mind preparing himself to be let down. "Crisis hotline, can I help you?"
"Who are you?"
The corners of Jonathan's mouth curved into a large smile, his hope still fully intact for once. "Jonathan Grey."
"And you're sure about that?"
"Fairly certain, yes," he laughed softly, "but you can call me Bob if you'd like."
"I think I'll stick with Jonathan if it's all the same to you."
"And your name?" He asked quickly, his entire body feeling this surge of energy he hadn't felt in months.
"Well, it's definitely not Allison...or Tess."
He could virtually see her smiling through the phone, his heart racing at the mere thought of seeing her again. "How about we make a deal?"
"Okay."
"If I guess your name, then you meet me tonight for dinner. Six o'clock."
"I'll give you a hint." She remained silent for a moment and Jonathan listened intently, every inch of him just praying the phone didn't die or something else utterly catastrophic. "It's Riley." He lowered his eyes, his head wondering if his ears were somehow playing tricks on him but he knew that wasn't the case. He knew she was there, she was standing right behind him. He lowered the phone from his ear and set it on the table before standing to face her. Starring at him now, she could see just how much - not only she, herself had changed - but how much he had changed right along with her in the past year. He was a lot scruffier than she remembered and his hair looked a bit longer. It was obvious he hadn't been a stranger to the gym this last year because his muscles were practically popping through his plain white shirt and she could feel the heat between their bodies as he took one more step towards her, placing a hand softly on her left cheek. She pressed her cheek into his hand and felt a small click somewhere inside her just like before. It was as if she was missing something; a puzzle piece and the moment he touched her, it all fell back into place.
The moment he kissed her everything felt calm.
The world seemed to stop spinning and the earth was a serene place if only for those few short seconds.
"How are you?" He asked softly after he reluctantly pulled away and she laughed along with him at his backwards greeting.
"Breathless. How are you?"
His smile could have lit an entire city and she would have sworn by it in that one, breathless moment.
~TheEnd~